Chapter 15
TIPPY
An hour has passed since Jax disappeared.
I’ve picked up the torn and crumpled pages of the tale of Agdar and Leonora, put them back in some semblance of order, and shoved the book to the bottom of my suitcase.
My arousal is fading, gobbled up by the shame of offering my wixen virginity—no, not officering, begging Jax to take it.
Oh goddess, I did, I literally begged.
I try to keep busy tidying the den. I find a broom and sweep as though I can sweep away my humiliation. But the memories keep surfacing.
As time passes, the shame gives way to anxiety. The clock in the kitchen keeps ticking, and still Jax does not return.
Has he gone back to level one?
Surely not. He wouldn’t thwart Traggar’s orders like that. Not even after what happened between us.
But… if he has, and he gets into trouble for that, I’ll own it.
I’ll say it was my fault. That I started it.
Shame boils up again, clenching at my gut, making me want to throw up.
How will I face Aunt Felicia after this? How will I explain the decimated state of the book she lent me? It was no doubt valuable, and she trusted it into my possession. And look how I’ve repaid her. By nearly rutting on the floor with a werewolf.
Almost re-enacting the legend.
Re-enacting—the—legend.
I stop still, the words resonating, and then I recall Clem’s comments on the phone.
Urging me to stop resisting fate.
Why did my aunt give me this book? Why now, this weekend, and not before? She’s had ample opportunity.
Is it some bizarre coincidence that I feel like I am going into heat, that I came so hard and fast at the stroke of Jax’s fingers along my seam? That all I wanted was for him to claim me, take me, even if he hurt me in the process?
What if… what if Jax and I are meant to be together?
It’s a crazy thought. Maybe I’m just trying to bolster my hopes, or excuse my behavior or something.
I glance at the clock again. It’s 6 pm. He’s been gone two hours now, and I’m getting really worried. I screw up my eyes against the tears that are forming. Suddenly, there’s a sharp rap on the door.
I jump up and run to the door, throw it open.
But it’s not him. A pretty human woman with an obviously pregnant belly stands smiling at me. Next to her is a huge handsome minotaur.
“Sammy!” I squeal. “Arlo!”
My disappointment is pushed aside momentarily by joy.
“It’s soooo long since I’ve seen you.”
Arlo swings me up and gives me a big hug.
I laugh as Sammy and I try to hug, but her belly gets in the way.
“Oh my gods, guys, it’s so good to see you.”
“You were expecting us, yeah? Did Jax tell you we’re taking you out to dinner?” Sammy says.
I pull back, biting my lip. “Um, no, actually… he didn’t mention it,” I gulp.
“Typical. Where is the useless bastard?” Arlo ducks his head as I stand back and he enters. He’s bigger than most wolves here. Sammy follows him in, her bright blue gaze scanning the small den with interest.
“I love it.” She claps her hands together. “It’s smaller than our den, but you are so close to the park, and it’s got such a pretty garden.”
Arlo seems to take up most of the space in the room as he swivels around. “So, where’s Jax?”
I twist my fingers together in front of me. “Erm, he went out. I think maybe for a run.”
“A run? After the workout we had, I’m surprised he had any energy left.”
I don’t dare say he had plenty of energy left…
for a very different kind of activity… “Yeah, well, first day with no vape so he’s a tad…
skittish, maybe.” I feel my cheeks burning and turn away.
“I’m sure he’ll be back any minute. Can I make you something to drink while we wait?
” Avoiding Arlo’s gaze, I start to babble almost manically.
“Tell me, how is the pregnancy going? What’s it like living down here?
We miss you up there, but I mean, obviously it’s safer after what happened to Clem and all.
And Clem is really missing you, Sammy, but hopefully she’ll get down to see you very soon, it’s just with Otis working on the mission she’s so busy supporting him. ”
Sammy sighs. “I know. We talk every day, but it’s not the same. So it’s lovely to have you here for a few days, Tippy.”
As I open the fridge, Arlo spies an array of potions. “Ah, takes me back. Are you being as bossy to Jax as you were to me?” He smirks. “Maybe he’s run away to escape your smoothies.”
I nod, try to laugh, but it comes out as a strangled little cry. And then, to my absolute chagrin, I burst into tears.
“Oh Tippy, what’s the matter?” Sammy bounces over and this time, despite her big belly, she does manage to hug me. “Arlo, that was so mean.”
“It was a joke, honey.”
I try to smile at his stricken face. “It’s not you… what you said… is fine. I mean, you’ve always been rude about my smoothies, I wouldn’t care what you thought. You don’t count, Arlo.”
He bellows a laugh. “Well thanks, Tip.”
I laugh a little, hiccupping and swiping at my eyes. “I mean that in a nice way.”
Sammy pulls up a chair, and I sink down into it. She sits opposite me.
“What’s happened? Have you and Jax had a fight?”
“Not exactly. Kind of. Maybe.”
“Is he being his usual asshole self?” Arlo flexes a muscle playfully, trying to chivvy me up. “He’ll have me to contend with. And honestly, Tip that was a joke, I loved everything you did for me, you kept me in business for years.”
I know my smoothies improved his sperm count. For all I know, they might have helped with the miracle youngling Sammy is now expecting. The thought helps a little.
In a faltering voice, I say, “I think I inadvertently upset Jax.”
“How?”
“Ah, like you said, probably forcing my potions on him.”
I cringe inwardly. Forcing myself on him, more like.
“Surely not,” Sammy soothes. “He always made a fuss, but he always took the ones you gave him to quit the cigarettes. When did he leave?”
“Two hours ago.”
Sammy’s big blue eyes widen. “And he’s still not back?”
I shake my head.
“It’s a walk through the park to the restaurant,” Arlo says. “How about we leave him a note and go anyway? We’ll probably meet him on the way.”
I’m not at all in the mood to go out, but how can I refuse their kindness?
I nod, snuffling through my tears. Sammy produces a clean hanky as if she is the hanky goddess, and with a wry smile says, “Pregnancy makes me very emotional. I carry one everywhere now.” She squeezes my arm.
“You go and get changed, and maybe Jax will be back before we leave.”
I quickly change into something a little smarter—the only outfit I brought, a skirt and a pink shirt.
Pumps. I ram my tail through the slit in the back of my skirt, then hook it onto my belt.
Remembering how it swished and flicked as I came, I can’t bear to have it bouncing around behind me as a reminder.
That really would make it a walk of shame.
Then I take a big breath and join the others.
I scribble a note for Jax, unsure what to say. In the end I just write Arlo and Sammy and I are at Fangs Fine Dining, center of town. Join us. I put xxx, almost scrub it out, then leave it. I don’t want him to think I’m angry or he might not come.
And then I’ll worry all evening.
We leave the den. There are lots of folks out and about—it’s early evening and they’re promenading around the park.
Handsome wolf men and women and their children.
And grandparents too. There’s a group sitting by the stream having a picnic, and nearby, a couple lounge on blankets, clearly lovers, their heads close together.
A stab of envy hits the center of my chest and I look away.
“So, are you enjoying living here?” I ask Sammy as we walk. She’s holding Arlo’s hand and there is this wonderful aura of love between them. A sublime ease. I can’t imagine how Jax and I would ever achieve that. It’s a lost cause, loving him…
Love.
I’ve never let myself say that word about Jax. Crush, sure. Hot for him? Yep. But I know in my heart it’s so much more. It always has been.
I try to focus on what Sammy is saying. “We miss level one, of course we do, but we are so welcomed and nurtured here. The Trojan pack are kind and generous, and fiercely protective. We feel very safe, don’t we Arlo?”
“We do. And I have some work here to keep me busy. Helping with building projects and the like.”
“So you’re not missing being a donor?” I ask with a brow waggle.
“I have one woman who keeps me occupied in that department,” Arlo says, smiling lovingly down at his mate.
We keep walking through the parklands, but there’s still no sign of Jax.
Internally, I’m beside myself. It’s very hard to not let it show. I sense that even laid-back Arlo is getting a little worried.
Finally, I dare to voice my concerns. “Do you think Jax has gone back to level one?”
Arlo shakes his head. “No. The elevators are monitored. Besides, I know that guy. He’ll never break a commitment. He’s been through worse than your green smoothies, Tip.”
I thin my lips and say nothing.
As we walk deeper into the park, I detect what looks like a bank of huge boulders in the distance, topped by a tangle of something sharp.
“What is that that over there? It looks like a heap of dead branches above some rocks.”
“It’s barbed wire,” Arlo says.
“W-why’s it there?” My heart skitters a little.
“Beyond that wire are the outlawed lands. Where the Braden pack hangs out.”
My chest tightens.
I don’t know why, but I sense Jax is out there.
And I fear that he’s in danger.