Chapter 19 Calli
CALLI
When I was twelve years old, I thought I was dying.
It happened during a sleepover at Keira's house, sometime around midnight. I woke up to something wet between my thighs. I staggered to the bathroom, switched on the light, and saw blood smeared down my legs.
I remember the panic, how I forgot to breathe. I didn't even think to call for an adult. Instead, I sat on the cold tile, knees pulled to my chest, sobbing.
The door slowly opened without a knock, and there was Keira. She was four months older, with the same untamed red hair she has now, tangled around her face. She took one look at me and knelt right there beside me.
She brushed the hair out of my face and must have seen just how scared I was.
"Let me tell you a secret," Keira says, face serious. "When you bleed, it means you're becoming a woman."
She hugged me and then said, "You're not dying. Trust me. I just went through this."
Keira then rummaged through her drawers and handed me what looked like a thick napkin with wings. "You'll need these now. Here, I'll show you."
I nodded, tears still wet on my cheeks, not fully understanding but trusting her completely.
Afterward, we went back to her room, me in a fresh pair of her pajamas. We sat cross-legged on her bed, our knees touching as she told me everything her mom told her and how all women have it.
It was that night we made a pact. If something's too scary to say out loud, too hard to deal with on our own, just text the other person "I poked my eye" and we'll come. No matter what.
We settled on that phrase because twelve-year-old us thought our stupid brothers would never suspect it's code.
And now, all these years later, Keira's never used it. I've only used it once.
Until now.
It's 9:00 p.m. as I stare at the glowing screen of my phone and type the words.
I poked my eye.
I hit send before I can talk myself out of it.
My period tracking app says I'm two weeks late. Fourteen days. That's got to mean something more than stress.
The irony isn't lost on me. The emergency code born the day my period started now being used because it hasn't.
I curl onto my side in bed and wait, the phone clutched against my chest. My necklace, Niko's diamond, feels heavy against me.
Thirty minutes later, my phone vibrates.
Land tomorrow morning. 10 a.m.
That's it. No questions. No hesitation. Just like we promised.
I fall asleep still holding the phone in both hands like it might keep me from coming apart, knowing tomorrow is going to be one of the most difficult days of my life.
My phone rings from the guard house at 10:07 a.m. She's here.
I've been pacing since nine, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, wearing leggings and a white v-neck T-shirt. My heart is racing like I've run a marathon.
Her car pulls up around the side of the Kastaris compound, outside my house on the property.
I can't even wait until she's at the door. I fling it open and watch her walk up.
Keira barrels inside like she owns it. Her fiery red hair is straight, and her green eyes are bright with the kind of fight she's always ready to bring to the world.
She doesn't even set her things down before pulling me into a hug. "Okay," she says, holding me tight, "I'm here. Now, what's wrong? Do I have to kill someone? Because I will. You know I will."
I can't help but laugh through my tears at her immediate willingness to commit murder on my behalf. It's not even a joke. She would absolutely do it.
"I'm late," I say, pulling back to look at her. "Two weeks. I've been on the pill, but with all the sneaking around with Niko, I think I might've missed one. Or took it too late. I don't know, Keira. I'm scared."
Keira's face doesn't change, doesn't register shock or judgment. She just nods, hands still steady on my shoulders.
"Have you taken a test?" she asks.
I shake my head. "I was too scared to buy one. It might be too early for one of those stick tests anyway, right?"
She shrugs. "Sometimes. But a doctor will tell you for sure. We're doing this today."
"Today?" I ask, my voice high from the nerves. "I don't even know if—"
"Today," she repeats firmly. "We're confirming it. No more stalling." She squeezes my arm. "Where's the most discreet doctor you've got?"
My mind goes through options. My family has connections everywhere, which is both a blessing and a curse. I need someone who won't immediately call Ares or any of my brothers for that matter.
"Dr. Vina," I say suddenly. "She has a private practice downtown. She's treated some girls I know when they needed care without questions."
Keira nods. "Okay, let's call her."
The waiting room is all muted pinks and soft lighting, and the air smells faintly of antiseptic and whatever else that smell is when you know you're in a doctor's office.
A receptionist with perfectly manicured nails takes my information without looking up. Of course, I don't use my real name, and I pay cash.
Keira sits beside me, one leg crossed over the other, bouncing her foot impatiently.
Fifteen minutes later, they call the name I gave, and Keira's on her feet before I am, her nervousness showing through her cracks.
Dr. Vina is a small woman with kind eyes and a warm demeanor. She asks all the routine questions as simply as one asks someone what they'll have for dinner: date of last period, sexual activity, any symptoms, changes in appetite or mood, and if I'm taking birth control.
I answer mechanically, as if my answers are coming from someone else.
"We'll do a blood test for accuracy," she says. "It's more sensitive than urine tests."
She leaves, and another nurse comes in. This woman looks to be about my same age. She smiles as she ties a rubber tourniquet around my arm. I watch as she dabs the area with a cool alcohol swab.
"Okay, you'll feel just a little pinch," she says.
The needle slides in and I watch the dark red vial fill, my stomach churning. My blood, carrying the truth I'm too afraid to face.
"It won't take long," the nurse says, labeling the vial. "Please wait out by reception, and we'll call you when we have results."
Back in the waiting room, Keira sits close enough that our shoulders touch. Her leg is still bouncing, her energy like a live wire.
"How long have you thought?" she asks finally, her voice low.
I exhale slowly, staring at my hands. "My app told me I would have been in flow when I wasn't, and then in Athens I started getting a little nauseous in the mornings. I thought it was stress because of Niko and my brother being close, and…" I trail off. "What the hell am I going to do?"
Keira hugs me. "Whatever it is, we'll handle it together."
Twenty minutes pass like twenty hours. When my name is called again, they lead us right into Dr. Vina's office.
"Thank you for waiting," the doctor says and pulls up a chart on her computer for us to see. "The blood test confirms you're pregnant. Based on your last period and hormone levels, I'd estimate you're about six to seven weeks along."
It's not a surprise. Not really. But the words still hit like a punch to the face. My stomach drops. My fingers tingle, and a sudden cold spreads through my chest. For a second, I feel like I'm sliding off the chair.
Keira's hand closes around mine instantly. "We're okay," she says firmly. "We're gonna figure this out."
Dr. Vina continues talking, her voice fading in and out like a bad radio signal. Prenatal vitamins. Follow-up appointments. Options. Pamphlets for me to take. I nod automatically, unable to process anything beyond the single word echoing in my head.
Pregnant.
I'm fucking pregnant.
Keira takes over and finishes with the doctor while I sit in a shocked state. We leave, and the drive home is silent. When we get back to my place, as soon as she shuts the door, she turns to me.
"You have to tell him, Cal," she says.
"I know. I know. I just… what am I going to do? My brothers hate him. Our families—"
"Are going to learn to deal with it," Keira says and sits down.
"I know our world is different, but fuck all that.
It's a baby, and like I've always said, our brothers hate all men for us.
They'd rather have us become nuns," she says and laughs.
"Shit, being Irish Catholic, my father even brought me to a nunnery when I turned sixteen, remember?
If Lady Constance didn't tell him it had to be my choice to truly be accepted in God's eyes, I'd be doing rosary prayers right now and saying things like, 'It's okay, my child. '"
I start laughing. "And the world wouldn't be able to see your beautiful hair," I say, leaning against her.
"Exactly," she says, flipping it over her shoulder. "A tragedy."
We both stop laughing as reality sets back in.
"Okay, what are your options to tell him?"
I think for a moment. "Rome. That women's retreat we're using as cover to meet."
"Then Rome it is," she says. "You tell him there, or I will. I'll do it for you if I have to. I'll do anything for you, girl."
"Okay," I say, nodding. "Rome. He's going to freak out."
Her eyes narrow. "Do you love him?"
I can't answer. Not out loud. My throat tightens, and I nod instead.
"You think he loves you?"
I shrug, tears swelling in my eyes.
"I bet he does," Keira says firmly. "You don't do all he's done if you don't. And if he reacts badly, I'll come kick his ass myself."
A laugh crosses my lips, easing my tears. "You do remember he's like six-foot-three, Keira."
"And? I'd still win." She smiles, but her eyes remain serious. "And he'll learn that if he hurts you."
She shifts a little and looks at me. "So what are you thinking right now?"
I take a moment to collect myself.
"It's funny. I'm not thinking about me. Or if I'd be scared to be a mother," I say, pausing for a moment. "I'm scared he'll feel trapped. Or ashamed. Or that this will be the thing that makes him realize I'm not worth the trouble."
Keira shakes her head. "No way. I saw how he looked at you. Like you hung the stars. The only thing he's gonna be mad about is not knowing sooner."
My fingers find the necklace, my secret collar, the diamond that marks me as his. I touch it like it's my lucky charm, as if it might assure me all of this is going to be okay.
"And this goes without saying, but you're not alone in this," Keira continues. "No matter what happens with him, you have me. Always."
I nod and smile. "I know."
So this is it. I'll tell him in Rome. I might as well tell him how I feel, too.
"Hey Niko, I love you and I'm pregnant with your baby."
Jesus.
In a little over a week, he'll know everything.
One way or another, everything changes, and the destruction we've been heading toward might finally arrive.