Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
G illian checked her watch.
“Am I keeping you from something?” Bridget asked from the sofa with a teasing smirk.
Time was passing more quickly than she realised. Bridget’s arrival at the lodge two hours prior to finalise the plans for the flower show on Saturday felt like it had only been five minutes ago.
“Oh no… I… yes, I do have an appointment.”
“You should have said,” Bridget replied. “We can finish this up tomorrow.”
“It completely slipped my mind.” That was a tiny lie. It was all she’d thought about that morning until Bridget had arrived and she became distracted.
The doorbell echoed from the hall. Viola was early. Again. Gillian scooped up her paperwork, pleased that Bridget was doing the same.
“Who is it?” Bridget asked.
Gillian contemplated not telling her until she realised that the two of them seeing each other was unavoidable.
“Viola. I asked her to pop over to discuss some initial details for the ball. We need to get a date set as soon as possible.”
“Good idea. I’ll never know how you managed to persuade her when the two of you have been drawing daggers,” Bridget said with a smirk as she filled her bag with her notes.
“We have come to an understanding; that’s all,” Gillian replied sharply.
“Well done, you, for being the bigger person. You know, the gossip in the village is that the two of you left together the other day in her car.”
“We don’t listen to idle gossip, do we?”
“No, Gillian.” Bridget smirked. “Unless we started it.”
“Exactly.” Suddenly realising what Bridget said, she glared at her. “We don’t spread gossip. We merely keep people informed.” She held a guiding hand towards the sitting room door.
Taking the hint, Bridget left the room, leaving Gillian to glance around to make sure everything was in order. She wasn’t overjoyed at the prospect of showing Viola her minuscule home. There would never be a good time, but having visited the manor for coffee, it was only polite to reciprocate.
She made her way through to the hallway to find Bridget sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, tying her shoelaces.
Viola knocked on the door again, and Gillian opened it with a raised eyebrow. “You’re early. Again.”
“I’m on time actually,” Viola chortled back.
“It’s always polite to be five minutes late. Therefore, being on time is arriving early.”
Viola frowned at her playfully as she entered. “This isn’t the nineteenth century, Gillian.”
“Indeed, it is not. Thank you for that sad reminder.”
“And if it were, then any time the lady of the manor wished to call on one of her subjects, she could, and not be reprimanded for it,” Viola teased.
“Subjects! I suppose then I should be grateful we’re not still bound by such archaic customs.”
Viola grinned. “Modern times have their perks. Like the freedom to be early without judgement.”
“And to remind others of their outdated etiquette?” Gillian questioned with a smirk.
“Precisely.”
Bridget appeared beside them, having put her shoes on. Gillian had forgotten she was still there.
“Oh! Bridget. Sorry, I didn’t realise you were here,” Viola said.
Bridget smirked at the two of them. “I’ll leave you two to it. Thank you for agreeing to a ball, Viola. The village is abuzz with excitement.”
“My pleasure and thank you. I assume you’ll be helping organise it.”
“I will.” Bridget beamed. Looking Viola up and down, she added, “Oh, do you ride?”
“No,” Viola replied, adjusting the sleeve of her jacket. “Gillian is teaching me.”
“Oh, is she?” Bridget said in a tone that danced on the edge of curiosity, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
“Yes, well, run along, Bridget,” Gillian said impatiently. “I’m sure you have some calls to make.”
Bridget shimmied past Viola and stepped outside. “Yes, of course.”
“Run along? You make her sound like a child. Or worse, a dog,” Viola said sharply, as soon as Gillian closed the door behind her.
“Do I? Oh,” Gillian said quietly.
“Yes.”
“It’s just my way. I don’t mean anything by it.”
“Do you ever consider how your words might sound to others?”
Gillian acknowledged what she was saying with a straightening of her lips. She hadn’t, but something in Viola’s voice said she should.
She turned her attention to Viola’s outfit, which comprised beige jodhpurs, a white shirt and her tweed jacket. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, revealing a long neck.
“You certainly look the part,” Gillian said, immediately thinking she looked more than the part. She was breathtaking.
“I know how fuss—fastidious,” Viola quickly corrected herself at the raise of one of Gillian’s eyebrows, “you are about people dressing appropriately for the task at hand.”
“I’m not entirely sure about the trainers,” Gillian said, furthering Viola’s point. “I’m sure I have a pair of boots that you can borrow.”
“I was hoping you might. Do I get to see any more of your home?”
“Oh. Of course, come through.” Gillian led her through to the sitting room.
Viola surveyed the room for a long moment before pronouncing it, “Cute.”
“More cosy than cute,” Gillian said, “and not in a positive sense.”
“It is cute and cosy,” Viola pressed, taking in the room. “Sometimes I dream of having a smaller house again. The manor wasn’t meant for me alone, and it’s a big place to rattle around in by yourself. I’ve never lived so rurally before; it can be quite scary at times, particularly at night.”
“You are perfectly safe. It’s safer here than the city. People that aren’t meant to be here stand out a mile away. Tea? I have coffee, but I don’t recommend it. It wouldn’t live up to your high-end expectations.”
Viola hesitated for a moment, then answered with a smile. “I’ll have whatever you’re having, thanks.”
When Gillian reappeared with a tea tray, she found Viola looking at some framed photographs on the windowsill. A pair of binoculars sat beside them.
“You have a good view of the manor from here,” Viola said, quickly turning her attention out the window.
“Yes,” Gillian answered, setting the tea tray on the table.
“I don’t think I appreciated how difficult it must have been for you, moving from there to here. Every day seeing the manor from your window — sometimes at remarkably close proximity through a pair of binoculars.”
Gillian’s face blushed as she joined Viola by the window, only for her to flash a teasing smile.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to make light of your loss. I’m envious that you have such an attachment to a place. I’ve never stood still long enough to form one to anything.”
“Does that include people?” Gillian asked.
Viola looked back out the window and let out a sigh. “Yes, I suppose it does. Until recent years anyway, when I grew close to my mum. Even that didn’t last.”
“You once said you never had a long-term relationship.”
“It’s hard enough to find friends to trust, let alone lovers. You never know if the next person will kiss and tell, so you tend to avoid it altogether.”
All Gillian could think was what a waste it was. This woman deserved to be cherished and loved every day, to feel the warmth of genuine affection and the joy of being deeply desired. It was heartbreaking to imagine her spending all those years in solitude, her beauty and spirit unnoticed and unappreciated, missing out on the intimate connections that brings meaning to life. Viola deserved more than simply existing; she deserved to be seen and adored.
Her thoughts fell back to herself. Didn’t she deserve this too? Having experienced this with Hen, if only for a short time, she knew how wonderful it felt. She also knew how it felt to lose it. Maybe they were both better off alone in the world.
“Anyway, enough of my depressing personal life,” Viola said, taking a seat. “Fill me in on the plans for the ball. I’ve got some ideas too.”
“You do?”
“I was thinking we could do a casino-themed night.”
“Casino?” Gillian questioned, sitting opposite her. “Gambling?”
Viola’s face lit up. “Yes, if you like.”
Gillian didn’t like it at all. She wasn’t convinced the villagers would either. Change wasn’t something they embraced. They knew what they liked, and they preferred it to stay that way.
“We could set up a few card tables, maybe a roulette wheel, even hire professional dealers. Think James Bond, licence to thrill.”
Gillian poured tea into a fine bone china cup and handed the saucer to an excited Viola.
“I’m not sure how it would go down with the villagers; they like their traditional ball. They are creatures of habit.”
“Like you,” Viola said, giving Gillian a questioning look over her cup.
“Perhaps. We have a particular way of doing things around here.”
“Then let’s try something new. If it doesn’t work, then you can blame me. Technically, it’s my event. You can say you advised against it and that I was having none of it, and I’m not. We can keep the tables to one end so as not to interfere with the dancing or whatever else you do at one of your balls.”
Viola’s enthusiasm was infectious. Not to the point that Gillian would agree it was a good idea yet enough to want to please her. If a casino night was what she wanted, and she could pass the buck if it was a disaster, it could be a win-win.
“I’m sure that whatever you do you will make a success of it,” Viola pressed. “You are Gillian Carmichael , and I would never bet against you.”
Gillian’s face burned, from both her words and the hopeful smile Viola was giving her.
“Okay, Casino Royale Ball it is then.”
Having settled on a date, they agreed Gillian would send out a save the date via the village’s WhatsApp group, following it up with formal invitations later that week. Time was of the essence to get everything organised, and it was the only supply she was short on.
Until the forthcoming flower show was over, Gillian wouldn’t be able to do much more than to get the invitations out and book the casino tables. She felt Viola’s eyes watching her as she scribbled on a notepad a list of things that needed attending to. It was good to have some direction again that involved the manor.
“You really know what you are doing with all this,” Viola said as she watched her.
“It has been my job for thirty-five years.”
“I’m glad I’m not the one doing it. It’s so overwhelming.”
“If it helps, I could unburden you further,” Gillian proffered casually as she looked up.
Viola narrowed her eyes. “How?”
“Direct any requests or demands on the manor to me in future. I’ll deal with it all for you.”
“Like a kind of social secretary?”
“If you like.” Gillian shrugged.
“I can’t help thinking it’s me doing you a favour here.”
Gillian laughed. “I think we could agree it would be a mutual favour. No villagers knocking on your door.”
“Hmm. Then let me thank you with dinner, say Friday at seven?” Viola proposed, her eyes hopeful.
The invitation took Gillian by surprise. “That… would be… lovely,” she stammered.
“Great! You can meet my friend and agent, Caroline. She’s staying for the weekend.”
“Oh,” Gillian replied, taken aback at how disappointed she felt knowing it wouldn’t be just the two of them. “Oh, how nice,” she added quickly.
It would be interesting to meet someone close to Viola; she might be able to gain more insights into the woman.
“Shall we ride whilst there is a break in the rain?” Gillian suggested, keen to impress Viola with more of her skills. “I’ll pop up and change.”
Viola watched as Gillian demonstrated how to tack up Dudley, her hands deftly adjusting the straps and buckles. Her movements were precise and practised, her fingers strong yet gentle.
There was something undeniably captivating about the way she moved that turned the heat up inside Viola. Gillian’s focused expression, the enthusiasm that lit up her face as she explained each step, only heightened her heart rate. She was completely captivated by the vast knowledge and passion she was exuding, particularly whilst clad in a pair of jodhpurs.
Having equipped Viola with riding boots and a hat, Gillian turned to teaching her the correct way to mount and dismount. She noticed a hint of surprise in Gillian’s eyes when she managed it easily. Although the thought of feigning difficulty for some extra “assistance” certainly crossed her mind, she found herself genuinely wanting to impress Gillian instead.
Gillian reached up and took her hand, adjusting the reins. “There. Now relax.”
Viola slumped, causing Gillian to press her hand firmly into Viola’s lower back.
“Don’t slouch.”
Repositioning again, she found Gillian’s hand on her side.
“Relax your hips.”
Being touched by Gillian every time she got it wrong was not exactly going to entice her to get it right.
Viola adjusted her posture, feeling more secure in the saddle. “Like this?”
“Exactly,” Gillian confirmed. “We’ll start by walking to the paddock to get your body used to the seating position and movement. Keep your heels down and close to him; feel his rhythm beneath you. To start moving, squeeze your legs together. To stop, pull back on the reins lightly. Try it.”
Viola took a moment to absorb the instructions, then pressed her legs in. Dudley began to walk, and a laugh of delight escaped her lips.
“That’s it,” Gillian encouraged, following beside her. “You’re doing great. Now, to steer him, gently pull the reins in the direction you want to go.”
Viola practised steering, marvelling at how responsive Dudley was to her commands. Each successful turn boosted her confidence a little bit more.
“You’re a natural,” Gillian said, clearly impressed. “Keep your back straight and those heels down. Imagine a line running from your head through your spine to your heels. It will help you maintain your balance.”
As they reached the paddock behind the stables, Gillian went ahead and opened the gate.
“To maintain a steady pace, keep a light, consistent pressure with your legs. If you want to speed up, squeeze a little harder. Always stay relaxed.”
Viola did as instructed and found that Dudley obediently followed her command as he began to trot.
“Remember to look where you want to go, not down at Dudley.”
Viola nodded and looked up. Gillian continued to provide her with tips and corrections as she moved Dudley around the paddock. With every passing minute her confidence in guiding the beautiful beast increased. After half an hour Gillian suggested they head back to the stables.
“Dudley is a great horse to learn on. He’s a gentle giant,” Viola said, leaning forward in her seat and patting him affectionately whilst Gillian closed the gate behind them.
“He’s my best friend. I find horses more tolerable than people,” Gillian said, her tone thoughtful as she walked beside them.
“Why?” Viola asked with curiosity in her eyes.
Gillian paused, gazing at Dudley with a fond smile. “Horses are honest,” she began. “They don’t hide their feelings or intentions. If they’re happy, you’ll know it. When they’re scared or uncomfortable, they’ll show it. There’s no deceit, no hidden agendas. With people, it’s often hard to tell what’s going on inside their heads. With horses, what you see is what you get.”
Viola considered this, nodding slowly. “I guess that makes sense. It must be nice to have that kind of straightforwardness.”
“It is,” Gillian agreed. “And there’s something incredibly calming about being around them. They live in the moment, responding to what’s happening now, not worrying about the past or future. It’s a good reminder to do the same.”
Viola smiled. “There’s a kind of purity in their nature.”
“Exactly,” Gillian said, her eyes meeting Viola’s. “Horses are majestic and intelligent. They can teach us a lot about trust and patience. They’re always willing to trust and give us their best despite many of them having been poorly treated or having negative experiences with humans. They’re still willing to let us sit on their backs where they are most vulnerable.”
Viola hummed her agreement.
“They force you to be patient and regulate your emotions,” Gillian continued. “Dudley was always my calm amongst the storm of an often-hectic life. We are patient with each other; we have an unbreakable bond.”
“I can see that,” Viola replied, a pang of jealousy hitting her.
“When we ride, I forget everything except the powerful rhythm of his hooves beneath me, pounding against the earth as the cool wind blows through my hair. The sense of freedom is exhilarating when we move together as one, both perfectly attuned to each other’s slightest cue.”
“It sounds magical. I’ve long admired those people in the movies, cantering across a field, hair blowing in the wind. How long would it take to teach someone to canter?”
“Quite a lot of lessons. Going off how well you’ve done today, I think you could pick it up sooner. It’s not only about knowing how to make the horse canter; you need to build a relationship with it and be prepared to deal with any problems at that speed.”
Viola nodded, knowing it would take patience.
“I could take you for a ride if you like. Let the wind blow against your face if that’s what you’re looking for,” Gillian suggested as they stopped outside the stables.
Viola’s face lit up. “You could?”
“Yes,” Gillian said, stroking Dudley’s nose and wiping some dirt away from his eye.
“Now?”
Gillian laughed. “You are keen. How about I take you on one of my regular routes around the estate? Before I sold it, I mean.”
Viola narrowed her eyes and grinned. “The recent horseshoe prints would have nothing to do with you then?”
“They would not,” Gillian replied, hiding her grinning lips behind her hand. “Jump down and I’ll remove the saddle.”
Viola dismounted, stumbling as her feet hit the ground. Before she could right herself, Gillian’s arm wrapped tightly around her waist.
“Careful,” Gillian murmured, her voice low and close, the grip of her hand firm against the rough fabric of Viola’s tweed jacket. Even through the layers, the warmth of her touch seemed to burn straight through to Viola’s skin, leaving her breathless.
“Thanks,” she gasped, managing a shaky smile as Gillian released her. She stepped back with an almost reluctant slowness.
With the saddle removed, Viola recovered as Gillian busied herself in the stable. She emerged with a riding hat perched on her head and a small set of steps in hand.
“We’ll have you up front; you’re a little smaller than me.” She placed the steps beside Dudley. “Here. I wouldn’t like your chances of mounting this time without the stirrup to help you.”
Viola thought she was probably right as she climbed the steps.
“How do I…”
“Take hold of his mane to balance and lift your leg over,” Gillian instructed.
Viola did as she was told, gripping Dudley’s mane and swinging her leg over his back. She could feel the warmth from the horse beneath her as she adjusted her posture. Seconds later, Gillian was sat behind, her legs pressed against her, holding her firmly in place. The sudden closeness took Viola by surprise; she hadn’t fully appreciated how much intimacy the ride would bring.
“Are you okay?”
“A little nervous,” Viola admitted.
Gillian chuckled softly, the sound soothing Viola’s nerves.
“Relax. Let Dudley and me do the work.”
Viola took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. She could feel Gillian’s arms around her as she gripped the reins. The warmth of her body radiating against her back felt comforting yet exhilarating.
“Hold on tight.”
With a gentle nudge from Gillian, Dudley started moving, the rhythm of his gait quickly setting in. Viola focused on the motion, matching her movements to Dudley’s. Every movement of the horse amplified her awareness of Gillian’s body against her. The proximity was intoxicating, heightening every sensation in her body as they moved as one.
They reached a large open field beside the paddock, and Viola could feel Dudley’s powerful muscles moving beneath her as Gillian transitioned them smoothly into a canter. She held his mane to steady herself, careful not to pull it and hurt the creature as the wind whipped through her hair. Squinting against the rush of air, a smile spread across her face as the steady, comforting, powerful thud of Dudley’s hooves matched the rapid beating of her heart.
“How are you feeling?” Gillian’s voice was close. Her warm breath against Viola’s ear caused goosebumps to prickle all over her skin.
“Amazing!” Viola called back, trying to keep her voice steady despite the swirl of emotions. Every brush of Gillian’s body against hers, every shift and movement felt charged with an electricity she couldn’t ignore.
As they picked up pace, the landscape around them blurred into a tapestry of greens and blues, the world narrowing to the three of them. Viola found herself hyper-aware of every detail: the strength of Gillian’s arms and legs rooting her to Dudley, the steady rhythm of her breathing, their shared laughter that dissolved into the wind. She wished the moment could last forever.
“You’re doing great,” Gillian murmured, her voice low and reassuring.
Her words sent a shiver through Viola as each stride of Dudley’s canter bound her closer to Gillian in ways she was only beginning to understand. She wondered if Gillian could sense the turmoil inside her; if she was feeling what she was feeling.
Gillian’s arms and legs tightened around her as they descended a hill, anchoring her securely.Viola leaned back into her, feeling protected and connected in a way she hadn’t anticipated. As she surrendered to the moment, trusting Dudley and Gillian fully, the tension within her began to ebb.
Dudley settled into a steady trot and Gillian’s hold on her softened. All remaining stiffness in Viola’s body melted away. Passing the paddock, Gillian’s arms gradually loosened, finally releasing completely as they arrived at the stables.
“That was incredible,” Viola replied, her heart pounding for reasons beyond the ride. The thrill of it, combined with the closeness to Gillian, made it difficult to focus on anything else.
“I’m surprised you find it so exhilarating; surely it can’t compare to flying a helicopter?”
“Flying a helicopter is its own kind of thrill. It puts you far from nature, looking down on it rather than being at one with it. You move over it rather than through it. You don’t experience the scents or the wind,” Viola said thoughtfully. “Like an observer, not a participant.”
Gillian nodded. “When you’re on a horse, you’re part of the landscape. You feel every movement, every change in the terrain. You smell the earth, the grass, the trees. You hear the sounds around you, not the roar of an engine. There’s nothing quite like it.”
“It’s like being truly connected,” Viola said, more to herself than to Gillian.
The vibration of a soft hum from Gillian’s agreement resounded against Viola’s ear.
“For reference, I don’t mind you riding around the estate. As long as it’s only you. No hunting parties.”
“I never allowed that sort of thing on the Kingsford Estate,” Gillian said, her voice laced with indignation. “All wildlife is — was welcome here.”
“I’m surprised. I took you for the traditional type. Tooting your hunting horn and everything,” Viola teased as they stopped outside the stables.
“I am. However, there are some traditions I can’t get behind, and killing defenceless animals is one of them.”
Gillian shifted behind her, landing gracefully on the ground. She turned and gestured for Viola to do the same.
“Your turn,” she said with an encouraging smile.
Viola took a deep breath, gripping Dudley’s mane as she carefully swung her leg over his back and slid down his side. Gillian stepped closer, her hands reaching out to steady her as she landed.
“That’s it,” Gillian said, her hands lingering on Viola’s waist a moment longer than necessary.
“Thanks,” Viola replied, her voice slightly breathless as she savoured the warmth of Gillian’s touch. Their eyes locked, and for a second, neither of them moved. Only the sound of Viola’s breathing filled the space between them.
Gillian blinked and stepped back suddenly. “It is I who should be thankful. You don’t know what it means to be able to continue to ride the estate.”
“I think after today, I do. Thank you for the lesson and that wonderful ride.”
Gillian smiled, the warmth reaching her eyes. “Any time.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Viola said with a grin. She patted Dudley affectionately. “You did great, boy.”
Dudley snorted, seeming to enjoy the praise.
“I’ll see you Friday,” she said, “for dinner. Don’t be late.”
“Only the required five minutes,” Gillian quipped.
“That will be acceptable,” Viola replied, smirking as she walked away from the impossible woman she couldn’t seem to get enough of.