Chapter One
Liis
As two federal agents raising a toddler, we lived by one rule: Keep work outside the four walls of our home. We honored it without fail, until one impulsive choice born of my oldest adversary—emotion—dismantled everything.
Our last ordinary morning settled over the house the same way it always did, soft and sleepy at first, then a rush of activity.
I brushed my teeth while Stella sat at my feet, singing the ABCs to her toys.
Thomas stood in the bathroom doorway, knotting his tie as he smiled down at our daughter and then at me.
“Good morning,” he said, taking a step and leaning forward to kiss my cheek. “You have the intel briefing with Vargas at eight sharp, right?”
I smiled, spit, then rinsed. “Good morning, and yes.”
“Constance sent me a text,” he said, leaning down to lift Stella into his arms. “Good morning,” he cooed. “How’s my princess?”
Stella simply nodded and kissed him on the cheek in reply.
“You should advocate for a raise if she’s managing both our schedules,” I said.
“I’ve told her it’s unnecessary, but… Constance.”
“Indeed.”
“We should get going soon,” he said, carrying Stella to the kitchen.
I glanced out the bathroom window. Our neighborhood was twenty minutes from the District if traffic behaved, which meant at least thirty-five if it didn’t.
Our sleepy little Virginia suburb, with its tree-lined streets, tidy sidewalks, and adorable downtown, was reliably quiet.
If that wasn’t enough to sell us on this house, the neighbors consistently waving from a polite distance would’ve been the deciding factor.
It all allowed us to pretend we lived simple lives instead of juggling federal deadlines and toddler negotiations as if they were part of the same strategic operation.
When I reached the kitchen, Stella was already seated in her highchair, swinging her legs while guiding each tiny bite of breakfast into her mouth with her fingers.
Our nanny, Livvy, stood beside her, coaxing tiny bites of banana and oatmeal while Stella told a very serious story about her baby doll, partly in garbled English, the rest in garbled Japanese.
Livvy nodded, her big, green eyes animated as if she understood every word.
Livvy glanced over her shoulder, smiling as I entered. “Good morning, Liis.”
Livvy had been with us for nearly two and a half years, a few weeks after we returned from Jim and Olive’s funerals in Illinois.
She was just twenty-one but had the calm of someone who’d already lived several lives.
Her pale blonde hair was freshly curled, so long it fell to the middle of her back when it wasn’t in a ponytail, and it rarely wasn’t.
Stella’s sticky fingers seemed to gravitate toward anyone’s hair that was even partly accessible.
Livvy never overshared, never imposed, never seemed to take up more space than she absolutely needed, yet the house had run smoother from the moment she arrived.
I felt a twinge of sadness, knowing how homesick she was. But Stella, college classes, and her boyfriend, Bodhi, were all sufficient and welcomed distractions.
“Morning,” I said, pulling a mug from the cabinet. “Did Dr. Lipton put in your grade, yet?”
“For the paper on gender norms in modern workplace culture? Last night. I barely got an A. I feel like she takes three points off every assignment no matter what. She’s determined to tank my GPA. Bodhi calls her The Goblin.”
Stella grinned, cheeks bulging with oatmeal. “Mama, Bodhi!”
“Yes,” I said. “He’s funny, isn’t he?”
Stella nodded emphatically, throwing her head back to look at the ceiling and then touching her chin to her chest each time.
“You still have an A in that class, don’t you?” Thomas asked, standing over his plate at the kitchen island.
“Yes, but barely a 92. It makes me nervous.”
“Because you’re used to getting 98s or higher. Didn’t you get a 106 in U.S. History?” he asked.
“I did,” Livvy said, her shoulders sagging. “Dr. Lipton doesn’t offer extra credit, and we only have a few grades in her class. It’s infuriating.”
“You’ll pull it off,” I said, taking one last bite of my bagel before putting my dish in the sink. “You’re taking Stella to the library this morning and then Brightwood, yes?”
Stella cheered, raising her banana-covered hands into the air.
“We are! Library and then Brightwood Early Academy! Yay for school! Stella is such a big girl.” Livvy gently clapped her hands as she smiled at Stella. “Picking her up after class at two.”
“You remember protocol?” I asked.
“I do,” Livvy said with a confident nod.
I sipped my coffee, amused at Stella’s theatrics. “And dinner with Mr. Walker tonight?”
“If it’s okay,” Livvy said, blushing.
“I like Bodhi,” Thomas said. “He’s a gentle giant and seems to have a bright future. He didn’t even need the basketball scholarship, the kid’s brilliant. On track to be a Physician’s Assistant, and he’s good to you. As long as that doesn’t change, I’ll continue to tolerate him.”
“Thanks,” Livvy said, feigning annoyance for only a fraction of a second.
“I thought Thomas was tall,” I teased. “Bodhi’s what? 6’7”?”
“And a half. He likes to add the half.” Livvy grinned. “He suggested this morning that we celebrate my chem test. I told him only if I survive.”
“You’ll survive,” Thomas said, pulling on his jacket. “You’ve been studying nonstop.”
She laughed softly. “I’m trying. He has an away game and that conference road swing thing...
whatever that is. It’s two games back-to-back, so he’ll be gone for five days.
He wants to celebrate before he leaves. He says he doesn’t want to be away from me that long.
” She laughed. “But he also said he’s already packed. ”
“He can be both,” I said. “And I think it’s sweet. He juggles school, basketball, and still prioritizes time for you. That alone says a lot about his intentions.”
She smiled, glancing at Stella. “It’s funny how life lines up.
Sunny dragged me to that game on the one night I wasn’t buried in homework, Bodhi saw Sunny in the stands and then me, and now here we are.
Kind of like you and Liis. If she’d stayed in Chicago, none of this would’ve happened.
I miss home, but Bodhi is the best and I have the sweetest best friend in the world. ”
“Speaking of best friends, how is Sunflower?” I asked.
“She lives up to her name… bright and shiny always… but she prefers Sunny,” Livvy pointed out.
“That’s right. Sunny. My mistake,” I said with a wry smile.
“Bodhi is surprisingly grounded and mature for a kid raised by gentle-souled, sandal-wearing, kombucha-fermenting hippie types,” Thomas said. “If they smoke the devil’s lettuce, let’s not mention it to your federal agent stewards.”
“Thomas!” Livvy choked out, followed by laughter.
“I just mean that I approve. It seems you’ve picked a good one, and that says a lot about your discernment,” Thomas added, then checked his watch as if time might apologize for moving. He looked to me. “We should leave in ten.”
Ten meant five. I topped off my coffee and slipped into my heels. “Traffic should be tolerable today.”
“You said that yesterday,” he said, giving me a quick wink.
“I can’t predict accidents.” I set my keys on the island. “Thomas filled the Lexus last night. Do you have everything you need?”
“And more,” Livvy teased me. “I saw the new foldable potty seat in the baby bag yesterday. I’m going to have to start carrying two if you keep finding things to add to it.”
“Keys!” Stella said, reaching and grunting, knowing she had no hope of reaching them.
Stella pointed her spoon at me. “Mama, work?”
“Yes, baby.”
She sighed dramatically. “I come?”
“You don’t want to go to the library with Livvy and then go see Miss Katie?”
She was speaking quite a bit in English for so early in the morning, meaning she was in a good mood. She switched to broken Japanese when she was annoyed. I braced myself for the switch.
“Yes! Yibwawy! Miss Katie!”
Not today. Small victories.
Livvy wiped Stella’s face, though it was like cleaning a moving target. “We’re going to practice colors today,” she said. “In both languages.”
Stella perked up. “Shapes?”
“And shapes.”
I grabbed my leather laptop bag from the counter.
Thomas stood by the door, holding his keys, waiting the way married couples do when they’ve spent years practicing the silent logistics of leaving the house at the same time.
He didn’t rush me, just watched to see if I’d forgotten anything, something new since Stella arrived in the world and my priorities were stretched somewhat thinner.
Livvy lifted Stella from her chair, settling her on her hip.
Stella rested her head on Livvy’s shoulder the way she did with only a handful of people, and my chest warmed.
For everything we knew about Livvy, there was just as much we didn’t.
Her quietness wasn’t shy, it was protective, as if she were building a small safe room inside herself and only let certain things in.
I never pressed. She’d been through so much and fit into our home so naturally it felt wrong to disturb the peace she’d built.
“Text me if you need anything,” I said to her.
“I will. Drive safe. Traffic looked light when I checked.”
“Traffic lies,” Thomas muttered.
Thomas had the car backed out from the garage and warming when I stepped outside.
The morning air carried a crisp early-spring optimism that always convinced me D.C.
would be gentle that day, even though it never was.
The driveway was covered with a thin layer of pollen, the unofficial state flower of Virginia.
Thomas glanced at me once I slid in next to him. “She’s doing better, don’t you think?”