17. Theo
SEVENTEEN
THEO
“Now on to the most important of topics,” Kane said, grinning like mad as he leaned forward in the booth where our whole crew had gathered. He trailed off dramatically, dude baiting everyone into paying attention to him, amping the anticipation like the goof had something important to say.
The night had grown long, everyone having a blast celebrating Emery and her accomplishment.
A lost dream that had been found.
The girls were standing around one of the high-topped tables, giggling and sharing secrets, likely dishing all the dirty deets—at least the ones they could give considering everything about our lives was secret.
Could tell with the way each of them would laugh, then Piper would try not to peek back in my direction. Though that effort was futile.
The more she sipped at her glass of champagne the bolder she became—or maybe, the more careless.
Those icy eyes flashing back toward me, hitting me like the first rays of morning light breaking at the horizon.
Cutting through all the darkness inside me in a way that I could hardly handle.
Woman making me itch.
Felt like I was going out of my mind, body begging for something I knew very well I couldn’t have.
Piper Whittman had officially become off limits.
She was staying.
Becoming a part of our crew.
And there was no way I could delve into something temporary with her, the way I was aching to do.
Temporary.
Internally, I scoffed, that voice at the back of my mind goading me. Warning that whatever I was feeling was wholly different than anything I’d ever felt before.
Not once.
And maybe that was the most terrifying thing of all.
“And that all-important question is…who is going to be Little Luna’s godfather,” Kane continued, his ribbing drawing my focus back to my crew. “I mean, the obvious answer is me.”
He gestured at himself with both hands. “No one here is smarter or more successful or, let’s be honest, good looking. And our Little Luna is going to need that kind of epic influence in her life.”
River grunted as he took a sip from his tumbler. “She’s my actual niece, fucktwat. Of course, I’m going to be her godfather.”
Kane pouted like that small fact was just dawning on him.
“But I mean, if River wasn’t her actual uncle, then it would be me, right?”
“Doubtful.” Otto said it all kinds of serious, though I could tell he was trying not to bust up.
Laughing under my breath, I took another sip of my old fashioned, nursing it slow, rolling it over my tongue and relishing the sweet fire when it landed in my gut.
The air trembled, and I glanced up to catch those eyes on me again.
Yeah, sweet fucking fire.
After what happened last weekend, I promised myself that I’d keep my distance. My heart had been getting way too invested while I’d been out there playing with her son. The sense I had about that SUV had snapped me right back into my reality.
A stark reminder of my duty.
This penance that was never going to be paid.
And here she was, fucking my head all up again.
“…right, Theo?”
I jerked my attention back to Otto who was gripping me by the shoulder and shaking me around.
“Uh…”
Fuck, I hadn’t heard a word.
Smugness pulled to River’s face. “Not like that at all, is it?”
I shook myself out of it. “Sorry, mind was drifting, thinking about something that needs to be taken care of at the motel.”
“Oh, we know exactly what you were thinking about taking care of. See you over there imagining all the ways you want to peel that girl apart.” River issued it like fact.
Otto chuckled, and the fucker reached out and pressed two fingers to my neck like he was a paramedic checking my pulse. “Yup, dude’s about to explode. Heart attack levels if he doesn’t blow off some of that steam.”
I swatted his hand away. “You’re full of shit.”
“Nah, man, we know who’s full of shit around here,” Otto goaded.
“Knew it from the get-go. Fucking heart eyes.” Kane curled his fingers into circles and held them up over his eyes like goggles.
I cocked my head at him, though I was fighting a grin. “Those are circles, not hearts, jackass.”
He shrugged. “All I’m saying is you only have eyes for our little Piper Poo.”
“Piper Poo?” Was he fuckin’ serious?
He shrugged again. “Girl’s cool as shit, and she worked her ass off today. Think she’s a keeper. And not that I don’t only have eyes for my Em-Girl because all you assholes know I do, but she’s a stunner. Pretty sure our boy here can’t look away.”
Irritation burned a hole in my chest. “Like I said before, just keeping an eye out for her and her family while they’re staying at The Sanctuary, and I was surprised to see her here since no one fuckin’ clued me in that she got a job at Ivy Threads.”
I lifted an accusatory brow.
Was still fucked up over what she confessed.
That her plans had changed, even though she hadn’t given me any details on what they actually were.
Made me insane how badly I wanted to know exactly what had happened. Wanting the inside on something I didn’t have the right to know.
“Figured with the way you’re watching her, you would have already figured it out for yourself.
” Another prodding from Kane. “But it doesn’t really matter to you, does it?
You know, since you’re only keeping an eye while she stays.
Guess she’s going to become nothing to you once she finds her own place. ”
Kane said it casually.
All while it felt like a knife was being driven into my stomach.
A hard twist of the blade at the thought of her leaving The Sanctuary.
Guts a tangle of dread.
Didn’t like the idea of not being able to check on her night after night.
As if the safety of that refuge was where she belonged.
Knowing there was something about her. Something that made me sure she was in some kind of trouble.
Those lies that spilled so easily from her mouth. Way it felt like she was always looking over her shoulder, waiting for something horrible to happen.
“Guess so,” I ground out.
Cracking up, Otto clapped me on the shoulder with a meaty palm and shook me around again. “Look at him, sitting over here antsy as fuck. About to come out of his seat at the thought of that woman getting out from under his clutches.”
“Don’t have my clutches in her.”
It was the other way around.
Girl clawing through me.
A hook in my heart.
“But you want to have something in her.” Like an idiot, Kane wagged his brows.
“It’s deeper than that.” It was the first thing Cash had said in forever, the dude way too fucking insightful.
Everyone slowed, and I felt like I was going to come out of my skin under their probing gazes.
The amusement drained out of Kane. “You know we’re just giving you shit, Theo. Piper is awesome. If you like her? You should go for it.”
He paused in consideration, green eyes spearing me from over the table. “It’s time you let go of that guilt you’ve been holding on to.”
They all knew what I’d been through. What I’d lost. What I’d caused .
Anger boiled through my insides. “You know that’s not going to fuckin’ happen, so why don’t we drop it, yeah?”
My attention darted to each of them, the warning clear.
Felt like a prick, but fuck, they knew better than to press me like this.
Sitting back, Kane lifted a hand of surrender. “Get it, Theo, where you’re coming from. But we all see a lot more in you than you do in yourself. That shit that happened wasn’t your fault.”
A harsh scoff ripped off my tongue. “Don’t give me that bullshit.”
They all knew that it was.
Regret sat like a fucking hundred-pound block on my chest. I hated that I snapped at the only ones in the world who cared about me, but fuck.
It’d been a whole ton easier when Sanctum had made the rule that we could never form real attachments. That we’d forever be flying solo.
That was an easy commitment to make because, for me, it wasn’t going to be any other way.
River met my eye from over the table.
In understanding.
An apology, maybe.
I took a shaky sip of my drink, and I swallowed hard to get it down.
Otto jostled me again, breaking the tension with a grin. “It’s all good. Theo simply wants to dip it in whatever warm body catches his eye for the night. I, on the other hand, prefer to?—”
River pointed a finger at him. “Don’t even fuckin’ start.”
Otto laughed hard, and the three of them moved on to safer topics, giving each other shit while I sat silently nursing my drink, the same as Cash did.
Dance music pounded from the speakers. A furor taking to the atmosphere as people let go of their worries.
Gluttony filling the air.
Raven suddenly came running over, Emery and Charleigh right on her tail, Piper hesitating at their rear.
“It’s time to get those booties on the dance floor. This girl is ready to get her groove on.” Raven did some kind of sultry move that had Otto basically flying out of his seat, shoving at Kane and River to let him out.
“Scoot. As you can all see, my Moonflower needs me.”
Not that it took a whole lot of prodding since River and Kane were all too keen to join their girls. Each of them wrapped an arm around their waists to lead them out onto the floor.
Emery seemed to notice that Piper looked like she was getting ready to split and hooked her elbow in hers and pulled her out with them.
They all slipped into the darkened fray, instantly picking up the seductive beat.
Shadows and silhouettes within the strobing lights that flashed across their faces.
Kane was fucking right.
Piper was the only thing I could see.
Emery, Raven, and Charleigh passed her back and forth, getting goofy as they twirled her around in an obvious effort at loosening her up, before the woman finally found her stride, moving on her own as she got lost in the intoxicating rhythm of the music.
That’s exactly what she was.
Intoxicating.
Hips jutting side to side, nothing but temptation as she began to writhe within the toiling mess of bodies.
The girl twisting and turning and moving in a way that sent greed barreling straight for my dick.
Hands going to that lush fall of white hair as she danced, eyes drifting closed as she let every insecurity vanish in the beat.
I sat there pinned to the booth.
Mesmerized.
Just fuckin’ gobsmacked that she held the power to affect me this way.
Then those eyes opened and landed directly on me.
Piercing blue flaying me wide open where I sat stupefied.
Mouth likely gaping open.
God knew it was watering.
Then something else entirely was hitting me when some asshole sidled up to her and ground himself against her ass.
Piper winced, and she tried to shrink away from him, but the crush only pushed them together.
“You gonna sit there like a moron, or are you gonna move?” Cash’s voice was low where he rested back against the plush booth.
Yeah, I should move.
Get the fuck up and leave.
Hightail it out of there before I did something I couldn’t take back.
But I was draining my drink and sliding out, greed a violent throb in my veins as I stole through the dim, muted light.
Heading in the only direction I could go.