24. Piper
TWENTY-FOUR
PIPER
I blinked awake to the sound of Finn’s wild giggles and the scent of bacon floating up from below.
A lapping of comfort as I listened to the innocent tenor of my son’s voice.
But it was the one woven with it that sent my heart rate scattering. Nerves fraying at the rough, tolling sound.
I pushed myself up to sitting, my body twisted at the waist and both hands planted on the mattress on my left side, my hair draping down that direction as I inclined my ear to the chaos below.
My stomach tumbled in a bid of worry and joy.
What was he still doing here?
In agitation, my teeth raked my bottom lip.
It was probably a terrible idea because I could still taste him on me. Could still feel his hands burning into my flesh. Every memory from last night surging back at full force.
Bare streams of early morning light filtered in through the break in the curtains, and my attention moved, taking in the rumpled maroon flannel sheets and the mess of covers that had dropped to my waist.
An indentation from where Theo had slept most of the night was still there, and the scent of mossy woods and leather and the unquestionable innuendo of sex lingered in the air.
I blew out an uncertain sigh. Wondering what had possessed me. Why I’d given in when I’d been so adamant that there was no chance of that happening.
There was something about Theo Mallin that made me contemplate foolish things. Things that would always be out of reach.
But still…
Laughter rolled downstairs, and I huffed out the oxygen that felt trapped in my lungs and forced myself out of bed.
I was still wearing only my bra and underwear, and I tiptoed into the bathroom so I could use it.
Then I washed my hands before I splashed cold water on my face and peered at myself in the mirror.
My hair was a disaster, and my lips were red and swollen.
The man’s hands were so undeniably written all over me.
I ran my fingers through the knots in my hair in an attempt to tame it, though there wasn’t a thing that could be done about my lips.
Blowing out a sigh, I moved back into the bedroom, went to the dresser, and pulled out a pair of pajamas.
I pulled on the cozy baby blue bottoms and matching long-sleeved top, dragged on fuzzy socks, then headed to the door.
It seemed the appropriate attire for this walk of shame.
My nerves rattled.
Nelly was going to have a field day with this, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to regret it. Not when last night had felt like a dream.
Respite in the middle of a life of torment.
A moment where I was elevated above it.
Like maybe…
I sucked down all the foolish notions before I whipped open the door.
Another peal of Finn’s adorable giggles lit in the air, mixed with that deep resonation that trickled over my flesh like a caress.
A shiver rolled through me, and I held my breath as I tiptoed down the stairs, my hand gliding down the wood railing as I went.
Heart ravaging at a wild beat as I let my gaze take in the room below.
Nelly was at the stove, pulling bacon from a skillet and setting the pieces on a paper towel to gather the oil. Theo had his back to me where he leaned against the counter that extended out to separate the kitchen from the living area.
And my son…he was hooked in the crook of his arm, Theo casually holding him as if it was something he did each morning while he chatted with my grandmother.
Finn noticed me first, and he pointed at me with his chubby finger, his adorable little nose squishing up as he shouted, “ Wook it! Mommy wake up!”
My throat nearly closed off when Theo shifted around to look at me.
All the acute, harsh angles of his gorgeous face were illuminated by the rays of sunlight that cut through the windows, making him appear even more severe than normal.
A sharp blade of protection standing in the middle of our kitchen.
His black hair as messy as mine, and my stomach flipped when I thought of the way I had my hands fisted in the lush locks last night.
His lips were full and red and so freaking distracting as his tongue swiped out to wet the bottom one as if he were every bit as affected by the sight of me as I was of him.
His powerful body rippled with strength and volatility while my son grinned and wiggled on his hip.
The vision was so utterly perfect that I wanted to drop to my knees and beg him to never leave.
To plead with him to give us this impression of peace forever.
Wayward thoughts creeping in that maybe I could trust him. That maybe I could give him what I’d been carrying for so long, and he’d see me for who I was.
Understand.
Maybe he was powerful enough to protect me from it.
Disbelief shocked through my senses.
How could I be so selfish to even think it? Putting him in the path of the monster that would forever nip and snarl at my heels?
Grief fisted my heart.
Did I so easily forget what had happened last time?
What I was responsible for?
I swallowed down the panic that crawled up my throat and forced out, “Hey, my sweet boy.”
White hair a halo around his face, Finn’s grin only widened, and he kicked his feet. “Get down, my Feo .”
Theo’s gaze remained locked on me as he settled him onto the floor.
Moonlit eyes both penetrating and soft and riddled with something that he shouldn’t be devouring me with in the light of day.
“Guess the kid knows when the best thing walks into the room,” he rumbled in that low, seductive voice.
My stomach twisted and butterflies flew.
What the heck was he saying? In front of my Nelly?
Nelly who swiveled around just as Finn came running my way, his little arms in the air.
I scooped him up and hitched him onto my hip as Nelly blatantly surveyed my disheveled appearance.
“Well, good morning, sleepyhead. Look who came a-knocking at our door first thing this morning.”
She pointed at Theo with a large two-pronged fork.
Oh.
He’d left and come back?
Good call, Theo , I stammered to myself. Now we wouldn’t have to deal with her prying.
I should have known we wouldn’t be so lucky since a full gleam danced in Nelly’s knowing eyes. My attention darted between her and Theo, trying to decipher what lie he tried to convince her of.
I should have warned him that Nelly could sniff out BS like a trained dog.
A smirk pulled to his menacingly decadent face. “Since I found out you all were staying for a bit, thought I’d swing by this morning to drop off something you might need for the holidays.”
He gestured with his chin to the wall to the right of me, and I looked that way.
Somehow in my daze, I hadn’t noticed the Christmas tree still twined in rope that rested in the corner next to the door.
“ Twee , Mommy! Santa fwy foo the sky and come see Finn!” In excitement, Finn swooped his hand over his head, his little face twisted up in unmitigated glee. His single dimple dented his cheek as he bobbed his head in my face.
Emotion flooded, and I hugged my son tight to keep myself grounded in the middle of it. Breathing in his joy and belief.
The holiday would be here soon, and it was what I wanted most for my son. For his little face to come alive with wonder. For him to experience all the amazing things I had as a child. Make memories that he would remember for the rest of his life.
I had to wonder if Theo could feel an extension of it. The gratitude and hope and sticky, ugly alarm that rushed in behind it.
“Wasn’t that nice of Theo to think of us like that? Taking his morning to go chop down a tree and drop it off in the freezing cold?” Nelly drew it out, her brows lifting so high on her face it was a miracle they didn’t hit the ceiling. “I figured to say thank you, I’d invite him in for breakfast.”
“Only if I’m not imposing.” Theo said it like the man could ever be counted innocent. Like he hadn’t slinked out the front door sometime early this morning and then showed back up.
With a freaking Christmas tree.
Nelly waved an indulgent hand in his direction. “Imposing? Never. I think all of us could use a little extra company, couldn’t we, Pipes?”
Her appraising gaze cruised back to me, the grin she was sporting completely wry.
Oh, she knew.
There was no question.
That man’s hands were stamped all over me in glowing ink.
As bright as the neon from The Sanctuary sign.
I was never going to live this down.
Steadying my feet below me, I carried Finn toward them, muttering below my breath, “Very thoughtful.”
Walking into the kitchen should have been an easy feat except for the fact I was getting slammed by Theo’s energy, the impact of it growing with each step that I took.
He was pure devastation where he stood like a dark defender in the middle of the room.
A dangerous refuge I wanted to crawl right back to.
Crap. How did he hold this power over me?
Shivers rippled beneath my flesh as I rounded the end of the counter, and I paused two feet away from him. “Truly, that is so kind of you, Theo. He’s never had a Christmas tree before.”
I knew I was admitting more than I should, but I thought Theo had a sense of it, anyway. A tap into who we were without my giving him any details.
Severity flashed through his features. A tightening that I noticed only because I was watching so close.
“Not a problem.” His words ground with emphasis.
“Coffee is ready,” Nelly peeped as if this wasn’t fully wrecking me, and she turned back to the stove and started to crack a bunch of eggs into the oil that remained in the skillet.
“Thank God.” It was barely a breath as I dropped a kiss to the crown of Finn’s head.
I set him onto his feet, and he toddled over to the mess of toys he had scattered on the floor in front of the picture window that overlooked the lake.
I attempted to slip by Theo without getting fully caught in his orbit.
But it felt as if the world wobbled as I walked by him, the earth canting to the side and pitching me in his direction.
Somehow, I managed to stagger the rest of the way to the far counter where the coffee pot was, my hand shaking as I opened the cabinet above it and grabbed a mug. The glass carafe clanked as I fumbled to pour myself a cup.
“How do you like your eggs?” Nelly glanced over her shoulder at Theo.
“Over medium would be nice, if that’s okay with you.”
“I think our Theo here is the nice one, don’t you, Pipes?” There my grandmother went, digging it deeper.
“Very nice,” I breathed against the rim of the cup as I brought it to my lips.
So nice, I wanted to succumb.
I hesitated, contemplating if I should risk walking back through those landmines to get to the refrigerator so I could get my cream.
Remaining facing away seemed like a solid plan.
Because I wasn’t sure I could look again at Theo standing in the middle of my kitchen.
My kitchen.
How quickly I’d come to think of this place as something it couldn’t be.
“Anything I can do?” Theo rumbled.
“Oh, well, our Pipes usually likes that fancy creamer in the fridge if you want to grab it for her.”
“I can get it.” It wheezed out of me, but Theo was already pushing from the counter, voice cut low as he muttered, “How about I do it for you?”
There was a command in it.
A low crack of possession.
A tremble rocked through me as I felt his movement, and I could hear the whooshing as he opened the refrigerator before his heavy footfalls were thudding up behind me.
He leaned over my shoulder, and his slow exhalation hit my cheek as he set the hazelnut creamer on the counter.
His voice was nothing but a rumble in my ear. “Remember that taking care of you is what I’m here for.”
“Oh, I can only imagine the way that boy takes care of you.” Nelly mumbled it under her breath.
“Nelly.” Gasping, I whirled her way and basically knocked directly into Theo’s solid chest.
Theo’s arms darted out to wrap around me from the front to steady me.
Hysterical since I’d never been so unsteady in my life.
Nelly met me with an unflinching gaze. “What? I told you it was about time that you started living your life. And this one right here might be the one who shows you exactly how to do it.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” The grin that stretched across Theo’s face was far too satisfied.
I shoved a little at his chest, breaking free of his hold.
“I’m completely fine all by myself,” I gritted.
It was knee-jerk.
The instinct to keep moving—to run, to evade, to protect—so overwhelming it was off my tongue before I could stop it.
My mind and spirit and stupid, failing heart at war.
Because this was so dangerous.
What was happening right in the middle of this kitchen.
I grabbed my cup from the counter and mumbled as I wound around Theo’s imposing frame, “I need to take a shower and get ready for work or else I’m going to be late.”
I rounded the long counter, head down as I beelined for the stairs, grinding my teeth in annoyance when I realized I hadn’t taken the time to put creamer in my coffee.
“Think you’re forgetting something, Pipes,” Theo hollered at my back, and in my periphery, I saw him waving the container in the air, smugness clinging to his ridiculously stupid, gorgeous face.
“This will do just fine,” I tossed out as I hurried upstairs like I was trying to outrun a tornado.
I slammed the bedroom door behind me and rushed into the bathroom.
Irritation smacked me full force as I looked down at my drab, boring, plain coffee.
My nose curled before I tipped the mug over and poured it down the drain.
Realizing it wasn’t fine .
Not even close.