34. Theo
THIRTY-FOUR
THEO
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD
“I want to go with you.”
“Scarlett…” Theo breathed her name on a sigh of hesitation.
His arms were outstretched, hands gripping the handlebars and his boots planted on the ground. The powerful engine grumbled in the approaching night. A heavy vibration that tolled through his body. As volatile as the war that waged in his spirit.
He didn’t know how the fuck to turn her down. Didn’t know how to tell her no when the thought of hurting her fuckin’ killed him.
So why the fuck did he vacillate when it came to her?
Why didn’t his heart fully engage?
She shifted on her feet where she stood ten feet away, just outside the front door of the house where she’d been staying with him for the last three months. In his bed every night—even the nights when he didn’t come home.
She was dressed like a girl who should turn his eye.
Black leather, lace, and scuffed motorcycle boots.
Hope and desperation and that pure love she’d been showering him in for months radiated from her. Like she saw someone totally different than he actually was when she looked at him. Saw something better than he could ever be.
“I want to be with you wherever you are. You don’t have to protect me from that part of your life, Theo. I already know.”
If only that was where these reservations were coming from. And still, he was nodding slow. Voice scuffing as he uttered, “Come on, then.”
Joy lit on Scarlett’s face, and she basically skipped to him. She was careful as she swung her leg over and climbed onto the back of his bike. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his shoulder.
And fuck.
He knew he was supposed to feel something.
Something different than what he was feeling.
Something bigger.
Something more profound.
But he was pretty sure as he pulled out onto the street that the only thing he was going to do was destroy this girl more than she’d already been.
Heavy metal blared from the speakers, and raucous voices lifted above it. Owls shouting and laughing uproariously as they guzzled booze directly from bottles where they convened at the dive bar where their MC always hung out.
At a round table in the corner, Theo was surrounded by his crew.
River, Cash, Otto, and Kane.
Trent and Jud Lawson were there, too.
They were the only ones that Theo fully trusted.
Trent was clearly keeping an eye on the degenerates who were quickly sliding into anarchy. Snorting piles of coke from the table or off the tits of pass arounds who strutted about half naked. A couple were already bent over tables and were gettin’ fucked from behind.
Theo hated it. Were these bastards too lazy to find a room down the hall? That, or they just needed to be seen. Wagging their dicks out in the open like it made them superior.
Pathetic.
There was a sense in the club of late. The stench of distrust and betrayal clinging to the air. The gut feeling that things were about to go south.
Or maybe it was just that Scarlett was also there.
She was sitting on Theo’s lap, twisted and angled to the side as she kept her arms looped around his neck.
He had one of his draped around her waist and his palm resting on her thigh, pretending like he wanted it that way.
Really, he was wishing that he hadn’t agreed to this.
He wanted to protect her from the corruption that ran rampant in this place, though he knew full well she’d seen and endured plenty during her time on the streets.
But that was the whole point.
Protecting her from it, not dragging her directly into the middle of it.
Theo sipped at his tumbler of whiskey as he stared out through the haze of smoke and dingy light, barely picking up on the conversation happening around him.
“Don’t fuckin’ like what’s going on with Kelp. Something isn’t sittin’ right.” It was basically a growl out of Kane.
Trent grunted as he sent his tumbler sliding across the table in front of him, catching it with one hand before he glided it back to the other.
Antsy and irritated.
“Not sure I’d count any one of these bastards as loyal,” Trent said. “Just waiting for the moment when one tries to drive a knife into my back.”
Air huffed out of River’s nose. “Can feel it every time I walk in the club. Like they’re all waiting on the moment to turn.”
Rage burned out of Trent, and he angled his head toward Scarlett who sat there silent. A clear indication to Theo that she needed to get lost for a minute.
Theo patted her hip. “Why don’t you go grab another drink?”
She wavered, clearly not wanting to leave his side, but she climbed off his lap and slinked for the bar, no question trying to act the part.
Confident.
Like she belonged there.
The rest of the Owls knew well enough that she wasn’t up for grabs. That any one of them would lose their hands if they even thought of touching her.
Didn’t mean all the fuckers didn’t leer at her as she went, the innocence she emitted making them rabid.
Theo wished he wasn’t such a pussy and would do something about it. Claim her the way he should if he was going to bring her around here.
Once she was out of earshot, Trent heaved out a sigh, dude’s dark glare sweeping the bar once again before he quietly muttered, “Pretty sure dear old dad is the one who’s about to put that knife in my back.”
Cutter, Trent and Jud’s father and the club’s president, was the most vicious motherfucker Theo knew.
Psycho had gutted a prospect simply because he thought he looked at him wrong, though Theo imagined he was just sending the message that he would gladly do the same to any one of them if they didn’t fall in line with his commands.
Commands that had gotten more and more twisted through the years.
Jud stirred in agitation, dude burly as fuck and all kinds of terrifying.
He fisted a hand on the tabletop, all too ready to go on the warpath.
“Not sure what he has planned, but I swear I can feel the treachery rolling off him every time I get in the same room with him. Eyes gleaming as he counts down our days.”
“You know we stand by your side, no matter what,” River offered low, making sure no one else could hear.
“Yeah. I know it. And we might need it. Just…be sure to keep your ears out. You hear anything, let us know. We need to anticipate when he makes his move.”
“Of course, brother,” Theo said before he took a sip of his drink, eyes tracking Scarlett who was at the bar.
Irritation bristled across his flesh when Toga sidled up to her side, grinning his pompous grin as he leaned back against the bar, sipping from a beer bottle as he said something to her that Theo could count on as being perverted.
“You gonna put a property patch on her or what?” Trent grunted, seeing the same.
A stir rolled through Theo’s crew. Their own uncertainty crawled around them. Theo had insisted that Scarlett stay at their house like she belonged there, the woman always attached to his side, while he kept a twenty-foot-high wedge between them.
Apprehension buzzed through Theo, and he took a sip of amber liquid, letting the fire glide down his throat like it could burn away the rejection.
The half-truth came out anyway. “Don’t think I’m quite there yet.”
Kane huffed in criticism. “Then you need to cut her loose, man. Girl’s fuckin’ gone for you, and you’re over there toying with her.”
Anger pinched Theo’s brow. “I’m not toying with her.”
River canted his head. “Then what?”
“I…I don’t fuckin’ know.” Theo scrubbed a palm over his face. “Only thing I know is she’s my responsibility.”
“Bringing her here doesn’t seem like a wise way to go about it.” Trent emphasized the point with a lift of his chin.
Theo sighed. “I know.”
“You love her?” Otto pressed.
Fuck.
He wanted to say yes.
Claim it.
Force himself into feeling something that he couldn’t.
Because he did love her, but not the way Otto was suggesting.
“That’s what I thought,” Cash grunted.
River shifted forward in his chair, voice dropped low in both urgency and encouragement.
“You need to get her back to her home, Theo. Figure out a way to help her reconcile with her parents. Because this is no life for someone like her, and if you’re not careful, she’s going to become a permanent part of it. ”
Theo lifted his attention back to the bar. Toga slanted him a look of challenge before he returned his attention back to Scarlett.
Discomfort dripped from her as she glanced back at Theo.
Nausea roiled in his stomach.
He was so damn torn.
Insides ripping and thrashing.
Wanting to be something different.
Wanting to be someone better.
But he was sure, sitting there, that he was never going to be.
He glanced around at his crew, and his teeth gnashed as he said, “I’ll handle it.”