43. Piper
FORTY-THREE
PIPER
“Come here.”
A giggle rippled out of me when Theo suddenly scooped me into his arms.
“And where exactly am I going?”
As long as it was with him, then I would be just fine.
He grinned as he snagged a blanket from the back of the couch, never loosening his hold as he wrapped it around my body. “Need to clean myself up, and I don’t think I can leave you long enough to do it.”
“Is that so?”
“Mmhmm,” he hummed as he ran his nose along the angle of my jaw as he started in the direction of the stairs. “Now that I’ve had you, pretty sure I’m never going to let you out of my sight.”
“Guess you’re obsessed with me after all.” The tease was breezy, fluttery joy. There would be no striking the smile permanently etched on my face.
“One hundred percent,” he said in that gravelly voice.
“One hundred?” I arched a brow.
Theo chuckled as he started up the wooden stairs. “No point in denying it.”
“I don’t really mind.” I rested my head on his shoulder.
Swathed in comfort.
Euphoria distinct.
Body sated in a way that it’d never been.
I didn’t think I could walk if I tried.
He pressed a kiss to my temple and breathed, “Good, because you’re going to be getting a whole lot of me from here on out.”
“I think I can get on board with this plan.”
“Ah, sounds like I rated better than a one star.”
“A solid three, maybe?” I did my best at hiking an indifferent shoulder.
Theo’s chest quaked with his low, rumbly laughter. “Looks like I’m going to have to put in some extra practice so I can boost up that rating.”
“Practice would be good. Lots and lots of practice.” I curled my arms tighter around his neck, trying to hide my grin against his neck, though I was sure that he could feel the force of it.
When we hit the top landing, I peeked out so I could inspect this portion of his house.
There was a large loft that overlooked the bottom floor and had that same incredible view of the lake. The pristine, placid waters a striking, still blue, the vast expanse kissed in rays of fading pinks as the sun sagged behind the mountains.
There were two doors at the back side of the loft that I assumed were bedrooms, and Theo continued walking down a short hall that had a railing on one side to double doors at the end of it.
He maneuvered to the side so he could press down on the latch and tossed it open, letting us into a rambling room.
A huge bed sat on the left side of the wall and faced another set of tall windows on the opposite side.
The windows bracketed a smaller version of the same style of fireplace that was downstairs.
On one side of the windows was a collapsible sliding door that led to an upper patio that appeared to hang over the side of the lake.
“This is absolutely gorgeous, Theo.” Awe wisped out of me. I tore my attention from the view and peeked up at him. “I don’t know how you leave it.”
He almost shrugged. “Starts to feel like prison walls when you get no rest behind it.”
He said it bluntly. As if it were a normal piece of who he was.
“Because you don’t sleep well?” I remembered him mentioning it before.
“Yeah. The little bit I do, I only toss in nightmares.”
Sorrow palpitated my spirit. I wished with everything I had that I could reach out and erase the pain that shone in his eyes.
Then he squeezed me a little closer and his voice dropped in the admission. “Until the night I spent with you, Pipes. Best sleep I had in years.”
My chest clutched, and I scratched my fingers through his short beard. I lifted my face to him so he could see me clearly. “I like that. I like that I can be a little bit of a comfort to you, the way you’ve been to me.”
“It’s us together, baby,” he murmured at my temple, then he shifted me around and set me on my feet. I was snuggled in the fluffy, oversized brown blanket while Theo was completely bare.
The designs etched on his flesh were shrouded in the shadows that began to fill his room. The man the darkest night, and still, I felt like I was standing in the brightest light.
“Need to handle this.” With a grin, he gestured at his cock before he turned and strolled for the big double doors that sat open to a large bathroom as if he hadn’t left me completely quaking, knees weak as he gave me a glorious view of his backside.
Sinewy muscle bunched and strained with hinged strength as he moved.
The globes of his ass were perfectly round and flexed with each step that he took.
Redness flushed my cheeks, and I bit down on my bottom lip.
How could one man be so beautiful?
Glee flapped in my belly, joy pressed at my lips, and my heart…
It fisted in the most significant way as I watched him peer back at me as he entered the bathroom, like that unrelenting gaze needed to confirm that I was there.
That this was real.
Elation running through my veins, I eased over to the picture windows. The lake was sprawled out below, hedged by towering trees laden with snow. I realized the fireplace was double-sided, and the glass that contained the hearth was open to the patio.
Cozy outdoor furniture was arranged around it.
I stared at the beauty. Truly taking it in as if it could be mine for the first time.
Water ran from the bathroom, and a minute later, Theo came back out.
He went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats and dragged them on, then he was striding for me, looping his arms around my waist and burrowing his face in my neck.
“Nothin’ better than the sight of you standing in the middle of my room. ”
“I thought you would have liked the sight of me naked better.” It was a soggy tease. Filled with the emotion that could no longer be contained.
I felt Theo’s smile ride along the rim of my jaw, and his palms splayed out over my bottom. “Naked and standing in the middle of my room?”
“That can be arranged.”
His grin widened, then I turned around in his hold and leaned against his chest as I looked out on the last vestiges of the light. “It’s so beautiful here, Theo.”
“I want it to be your safe place.”
“That’s what I feel when I’m with you. Safe.”
“Go out and sit with me?” he suggested.
“Isn’t it a little cold for that?”
He untangled himself from me and moved for the door. He flicked a switch next to it and the fire jumped to life. He stretched out his hand. “Nah. I’ll keep you warm.”
I fumbled over to him on my bare feet, and he swept me back into his arms, bride style as he slid open the door and carried me to the outdoor couch that faced the fire.
He sat down with me bundled on his lap.
Cold seeped in from the fringes, but the heat of the flames radiating from the fireplace and the warmth of his body was enough to keep me comfortable.
He shifted and put his feet up on the table so they would be closer to the fire.
I giggled. “See, it is cold.”
He ran his hand over the top of my head. “Sit out here a lot at night. Only me and the fire.”
“And your ghosts.” I whispered it into his chest.
He barely nodded. “I guess so. I spend a lot of time walking the property, especially when we have someone here that we’re watching over.”
My stomach tightened as he brought up Sovereign Sanctum.
I understood so little of it, but somehow, I felt like I got it. I might not know the details of what and how they managed what they did, but I was sure of what they stood for.
“And it’s easier for you to give all your time and worry to them rather than allowing yourself joy,” I hedged.
Discomfort rippled across the bare flesh of his chest. I could feel it like a reluctant caress. Like he wasn’t sure he should give that part of himself to me, but his heart had already made that choice for him.
“What happened to you, Theo? Why do I feel so much sadness in you?”
It felt so strange that I was the one pushing him to open up to me when I’d lived my life in seclusion for so long. Hiding behind every temporary facade before I was moving again.
But I wanted to stay right here forever.
Hesitation brimmed in him, though he kept running his fingers through the length of my hair as if it soothed him. Calmed the storm that raged inside him.
His gaze found the lapping fire, and his voice was rough when he spoke. “My mother told me my whole life that I wasn’t capable of love. That I wasn’t worthy of it. That I was a waste of space and had ruined her life.”
Pain pierced my spirit. How could any mother ever say that? I snuggled closer, my arm looping around his neck, trying to hold some of the grief I could feel spilling out of him.
“Maybe she was the one who wasn’t capable of loving me. Maybe she was the one who wasn’t worthy. I don’t know. But I lived my entire life believing it. Believing that I was built of greed and selfishness. That I would forever go it alone because the only thing that ultimately mattered was myself.”
A frown curved my brow, and Theo paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he sighed.
“When I met the guys when I was a teenager living on the streets, we basically made a pact. Pledging our loyalty to each other. It was a strength in numbers sort of thing. A way to make it easier to survive on the streets. Would have died for any of them since it was the oath I made.”
I could feel his heart drumming beneath my ear. A heavy pulse of confusion and regret.
“I realized somewhere along the way that I was capable of love.” A wistful smile wobbled at his mouth.
“Raven was fourteen, and she came running home from school with her report card that had straight As. She was smiling this smile…and fuck…I thought I was going to explode with pride. It took me all that time to realize that feeling was love. To realize that loyalty I had to my crew was love.”
A tremor rolled through him, and his hand twitched where he had it clasped on my hip.
“And I thought maybe that thing was in me. The capacity to shed the selfishness. That I might be willing to sacrifice enough of what I wanted so I could love someone in a different way. Give myself completely to another.”