49. Piper
FORTY-NINE
PIPER
“Okay, so I think I can get on board with this whole mocktail thing. Because yummy…” Raven slurped from the straw of her frilly drink.
“And here I thought I was going to be bringing you margaritas to the hospital,” Charleigh teased.
Raven giggled and rubbed her hand over her swollen belly. “Well, a celebratory party might be in order, but I think we’re going to have to hold off on it for a day or two.”
From where she sat next to me, Emery laughed with a slight shake of her head. “And that celebrating you’re going to be doing is holding that baby nonstop. I bet you don’t put her down for a solid thirty days.”
“I’m pretty sure Otto will have something to say about that. That man is already obsessed with our Little Luna.” Joy radiated from Raven. Just this all-around glow that she couldn’t hide if she tried.
“Knowing him, he’ll just have you both on his lap,” Charleigh said with a sip of her margarita. “Because that obsessed extends to you.”
“Can you blame him?” Raven hiked a teasing shoulder. “You have seen me, right?”
Lightness weaved through me. A smile constantly flitting across my mouth as I hung out with the three of them.
We were at one of the trendy bars on Culberry Street for happy hour. Emery and I had rushed over so we could join Raven and Charleigh after work. It was Friday, and we’d been super busy, running and on our feet the entire day, so it felt amazing to be sitting.
Honestly, though, the real reason it felt amazing was because of the people who surrounded me.
These incredible women who’d invited me into their fold. Accepted me as if I was already a part of it.
A family I never imagined I could have.
Of course, I itched to get home to Finn, Nelly, and Theo.
Theo who had slept in my bed every night this week.
Soundly.
His arms secure and his tortured heart at peace. As if he had found respite in me, the way I had in him.
He had taken me every chance that we could find a private moment.
Our love so fierce, even though he’d yet to say the words, the same as I hadn’t found the words to confess the rest of my secrets to him.
But they had begun to bubble. The truths right there, burning on my tongue.
“I don’t know how you’re even here,” I told Raven as I took a sip of my wine, joining in on the banter.
“Because I told him I was going to make it worth his while when I got home.” Raven’s dark eyes gleamed with the suggestion. “You know he’s over there in a stir, all worked up thinking about it. The anticipation makes it all the sweeter. I bet all your men are doing the exact same thing.”
She pointed around at each of us.
Wings flapped in my belly at the thought.
I couldn’t help but be reminded of Theo’s texts I shared with him a few minutes ago.
Theo
Wait until I get you alone tonight. Been thinking about being inside you all day. Fantasizing about all the ways I’m going to fuck you. It’s going to be rough tonight, Little Liar. Making me wait the way you have.
Me
You’re the one who insisted I go out, and you’d hang out with Finn while I’m with the girls.
Theo
Doesn’t mean I’m not over here imagining peeling you out of those clothes and getting to the goodness underneath.
I couldn’t wait.
“Look at you over there, biting your lip and your cheeks flaming red.”
I looked up over my glass at Charleigh who was grinning like mad.
Clearing my throat, I tried to play it off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about the way you just combusted thinking about Theo waiting at home for you.” Charleigh drew a circle in the air around me like she was offering proof.
“Yes, I do think it’s time you tell us about how that man rocks your world.” Raven set an elbow on the table and propped her chin on her fist like she was waiting for me to tell her the most interesting story in the world.
A mesh of embarrassment and glee worked through my consciousness, and I curled my hands around the wineglass as I warred with what to say. So unaccustomed to having relationships like this. Loving that now I did.
“It’s safe to say, I’ve been rocked,” I said, unable to stop the grin from taking to my face.
A round of shrieks and squeals went up around the table, and Raven stamped her feet on the floor.
“I knew the two of you had been getting naked.” Raven sat back in her chair and pressed her hand over her heart like she was proud of me.
“I mean, there was no question that man is completely feral over you. Never in my life did I think that one would fall, and the moment you stepped foot in town, he tripped. Crash. Kaboom. ”
She lifted her hands and made a bunch of exploding sounds and gestures. “It was over for him the second he saw you.”
“You should have seen her this last week at the shop. Her feet haven’t touched the ground once.” Emery said it like it was completely scandalous.
“All because that bad boy has been sending her soaring.” Charleigh conspiratorially glanced around the table.
“I’m not sure I’m ever going to come down,” I admitted. “He’s…”
All the teasing drained away, and Charleigh’s head tilted to the side in soft speculation. “You love him?”
I looked down at the swirl of my drink, the old part of me thinking I should keep it hidden. But that era was over. I didn’t want to live concealed any longer.
“So much,” I admitted. “I realize I haven’t known him for all that long, but…” I trailed off.
Emery reached out and set a gentle hand on my arm. “But when it’s right, you know.”
My nod was jerky. “Yeah. It feels impossible. I fought it with everything I had, but I think he was under my skin the first time I saw him, too. And then after everything happened…”
I paused, not sure how I was supposed to put it into words. Or really, if I even should. I understood we needed to be incredibly careful when it came to Sovereign Sanctum.
“It’s a lot to process,” Raven whispered. “This life. I’ve been a part of it for so long, and there are still times when it feels inconceivable. Outside of reality. The fear and worry that comes with it because we love them so much, but what they do is so important. The lives I’ve seen them save…”
Reverence filled her features, and emotion welled around her.
That same kind of awe surged to overflowing inside me, though I still struggled to wrap my head around it.
Thinking of Alicia and Lucy. The horrors they’d suffered that Theo had confided in me during the deepest hour of the night.
He’d answered more of my questions, holding me as he confessed how truly terrifying and dangerous their lives could be.
I’d been so close in that moment—so close to giving it all to him.
“It’s terrifying,” I forced around the lump in my throat. “What they do. But I…understand it.”
Accepted it.
“They’d give it all for these women and children…and I think you know how much more that extends to us.” Charleigh’s words sounded almost prodding.
The gaze that she set on me was knowing.
As if she saw the fear that had been my master for so long.
“I believe this town draws those who belong here to it,” she continued, a glance flickering to Emery for a beat before it returned to me. “It draws you to the people you’re supposed to be with. I told Emery that same thing when I met her, and I think that applies to you. It certainly did to me.”
“I needed him.” It was the gush of an admission that I expelled.
“You’ve been…afraid?” I could tell with the way that Raven phrased it that she didn’t want to freak me out, but it was also clear they were sure something was going on with me.
The same as Theo had known from the start.
A heavy strain of air filtered from my nose. “I’ve been running from my ex for a long, long time.”
It felt so strange to say it. To just…lay it out when it’d been the most horrible secret I’d ever carried.
Compassion leaked from all of them.
“He’ll hold it, Piper,” Emery said. “I promise you. You can trust him with it. Whatever you’re going through. Nothing is too big for him.”
The scarce remnants of reservations and questions that remained whipped around inside me.
“All of us, Piper.” Raven’s expression morphed into the starkest sincerity. “All of us are here for you and your son. You’re our family now.”
“And that Nelly I haven’t met yet,” she added, her voice going light. Like she knew I needed a breather from the tension that suddenly bound the air. “That is a travesty that we must rectify. You make sure you bring her to our family gathering on Sunday.”
Then her voice went pointed. A soft, poignant prodding. “ After you confide in Theo about everything that’s going on with you.”
My mind traveled to the pain he held close to the vest. “He already carries so much. Has lost so much.”
Raven must have known what I was referring to because she sat back in her chair. Searching me as she seemed to waver with what to say. “Did he tell you?”
I barely shook my head. “Only that he failed someone he was supposed to love. That he doesn’t believe he can really love.”
My spirit thrashed. I didn’t believe it for a second.
I’d felt that love.
Experienced it.
I just prayed in time, Theo would recognize it, too.
Sadness weaved through Raven’s features.
“It’s not my place to tell you what he went through, Piper, but what I can say is he’s carried it like a scourge for so many years.
And when I told you I never imagined he would fall for someone, I meant it and not in a teasing way.
I truly believed he would never love after what he suffered.
But then I saw him dancing with you and your son in my living room, and I knew there was a piece of that broken man that’d been healed. Freed. And it’s free in you.”
She reached over the table and squeezed my hand.
“You two can find that freedom together. In truth and honesty. You don’t have to hide.
I promise, just like I would promise Theo that he doesn’t have to hide from you.
Don’t let walls ruin what you two have. Otto and I wasted so much time hiding behind them, and I don’t want that for you.
Offer yourself to him, Piper. Wholly. Then ask him to do the same for you. ”
Tears streamed down my face, and I sniffled as I processed through what she was saying. Then I was nodding frantically as I came to swift awareness.
Slammed with a determination unlike anything I’d felt before.
I swiped away the tears as I stood and set my half drank wine onto the table. Joy rushed as I wheezed, “I need to go.”
Hope was in full bloom, and it was time I ran with it.
Charleigh frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. More than okay. Because of all of you. Because of this place. Because of Theo. And he needs to know. He needs to know all of me.”
Raven squealed. “Yes, girl! Give it to him! All of it, Piper Poo!”
An excited laugh bubbled out through the chaos. “I plan to.”
I dug into my purse so I could grab some cash.
Emery shooed me away. “Don’t even think about it. We have this covered. Go.”
I nodded again, and I slung into my coat before I rushed around the table and hugged each of them. “Thank you so much,” I told them as I went.
They all nodded and smiled those gleaming smiles, hope and joy radiating from them as I tossed the strap of my purse over my shoulder and started to scramble across the bar for the door.
“Then be sure to get yourself some of that good dick afterward!” Raven shouted behind me.
I barely fumbled a step, choking over a laugh, before I rushed out into the winter cold, whispering under my breath as I stepped onto the sidewalk, “I plan to.”
Night had fallen, and holiday lights glowed from the buildings.
People bustled about as they dodged and weaved.
A buoyant vibe clung to the chilled air.
Christmas was right around the corner, and I couldn’t wait to experience it here.
The heels of my boots clunked against the wooden planks as I hurried to where I parked about half a block up on a little side street that cut between two buildings.
Vapor puffed from my mouth as I nearly ran, relief and joy pressing at my heart as I thought of what I was about to do.
A full giving of myself.
Succumbing in a way I thought would be disastrous, but now I knew, it was the only thing I could do.
The only thing I wanted to do.
It was the only way to give my son the life he deserved.
The only way to give us a chance at joy.
A real existence.
It was the only way to fully give into this love.
I ducked around the corner, and a rush of bitter cold swarmed me. I hunkered down against the bite of the wind, and I lifted my shoulders to my ears as if it could keep the chill away.
But it only intensified.
It took me a moment to process the sensation. The eerie clawing that slicked like ice down my spine.
That sickening sense of dread that slithered across my flesh and lifted the fine hairs at the base of my neck.
I whipped my attention around, searching into the shadows of the street and along the buildings.
Nothing.
I was only being paranoid.
Sucking it down, I hurried toward my car that was about a hundred feet away, parked at the curb with the front facing in my direction.
The running lights flashed as I approached.
I was right there.
So close.
It was fine.
It was fine.
I was just letting old fears creep in.
I finally made it to the door, and I reached for the handle and whipped it open.
A punch of relief pilfered from my nose as I hopped into the driver’s seat. I slammed the door and clicked the locks.
See.
It was nothing.
Only those chills scattered when the dark presence rose up from the backseat.
Terror drenched me all the way through when a gun cocked, and the barrel was placed at my temple. Justin’s horrible, disgusting voice oozed against my ear. “Did you miss me, baby?”