Chapter 18
We lay together on the same sunbed we were on the first night. I’m in between Nora’s legs, snapping photos of the sunset to add to the album of the rest of my sunset photos. Nora’s fingers delicately stroke up and down my bare arms, sending tingles down my spine.
“What song reminds you of me?”
I ask Nora, continuing to look out at the waves gently crawling up on the shore. Nora hums, questioning her answer.
“Angel by Finneas”
Nora decides on. I smile to myself, because it’s sweet, but I never have seen myself as a very angelic person.
“What about me?”
Nora responds.
“First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes”
I respond, the answer almost coming to me immediately. After Coco passed, I thought I’d go be with her, because what was the point of living without her? Then I figured it out after meeting Nora, and I am so glad I didn’t die before I met her. Not only did meeting Nora teach me what love is like, I found my happiness on this trip. Despite my family not thinking I’ll be able to do this trip, here I am, doing it perfectly. A lady interrupts us on the beach holding a basket filled with cups of fruit. Nora hands the lady a few euros and takes out a cup of mango for herself and me a cup of watermelon. I sit up and face Nora as we devour the fresh fruit. Nora has mango juice dripping from her lips, a couple drops landing
*
on her shorts. I lean over to Nora and lick the juice off her lips, dragging my tongue slowly. The sweet taste of mango making her lips even sweeter than they already are, almost sickly. Nora buries her head in the crook of my neck, breathing a kiss there. Once we can pull ourselves away from each other, I continue crunching on my watermelon. I finish the pot, wiping my mouth on my shirt. Weirdly enough, spending the day in the room sharing intimate moments and silent looks of appreciation was the best way to spend our last day together.
“Fancy a swim?”
Nora asks.
“I don’t have a swimsuit.”
I remind her, sitting in a plain sundress. “Don’t need one.”
Nora smirks, giving me that wink of hers. Nora strips
from her clothes, leaving her bare to the world. She runs towards the sea, the sports bra tan line really showing on her back. I glance around before pulling my dress over my head and running towards the sea towards Nora. I am really hoping no family takes an evening stroll right now. The warm water swallows my body and I’m face to face with Nora. Her hair dripping with the salty water. I dunk my hair under the water, leaning my head back. There’s something so soothing about having your ears under the water, the surrounding sounds become muffles, and the only thing you can hear clearly is your heart beating. I am still living. When I lift my head back up, I’m face to face with Nora. She lifts me up, wrapping my legs around her waist and my arms around her neck. The sea is glistening, similar to Nora’s eyes.
“I love you Ophelia.”
“I love you Nora.”
“I like to imagine if things were different with us.”
Nora’s voice was fragile.
“What do you mean?”
I tilt my head like a confused dog.
“Like, if I didn’t go to America, or you wanted to come with me. I imagine us living together, waking up next to each other most mornings. Maybe even waking up with a couple of cats by our feet.”
I smile, my heart warm.
“And I’d bring you coffee in bed. Then we’d go off to work, me doing music somewhere and you writing something beautiful.”
Nora lets out a deep sigh.
“I don’t know. I can just imagine all of it with you.”
Nora mutters sadly. I push back Nora’s wet hair off her forehead, revealing more of her face.
BEYOND THE BLUES
“If it’s meant to be, it will be. Whether it be in a year or twenty. We will find each other again, just like we did this holiday.”
I reassure Nora. Even if I’m not one hundred percent sure we will see each other again, I’m hoping we do when the time is right. Nora pulls me closer, hugging me tighter.
Back at the hotel room, we are doing a deep dive in each other’s photo galleries on our phones. I scroll through many band photos and videos, mesmerised by Nora’s guitar playing. But also her face, how concentrated she is on her hands with the strings. That’s mostly her gallery, to be honest, just a lot of her band and her friends. Her confident, chatty self radiates even through the screen. I’m glad I got to witness the more chilled out, emotional Nora, too. When I get further to the bottom of her camera rolls, I notice an array of photos of me. Mostly candid and all hideous.
“Oh god Nora! Ew, what are these?”
I laugh out loud, my finger hovering over the delete button. Nora snatches the phone out of my hand, bringing it to her chest protecting it from me.
“I think you look beautiful in every single one.”
Nora said firmly, continuing to scroll through the photos of me. Then she stops on the one she took on the stairs, me laughing at her, cheeks reddened from embarrassment, but my eyes filled with a look of happiness. Nora really looks at this one, a little smile landing on her lips before changing the conversation.
“Your turn.”
I hand my phone over to Nora and she scrolls through my messy camera roll. Photos of me and Coco fill the first half. Nora zooms in on a photo of me and Coco at a house party, and in the background is Nora with her friends, but her attention is on me. It slowly slips into less exciting photos of Coco’s grave, flowers, sunsets and my writing. She pauses, reading each poem and story.
“I know they’re not great but-”
“They’re brilliant, Ophelia.”
Nora interrupts me. It’s hard to be a writer and be able to tell if your work is actually good or not. But then again, writing is art, and art is subjective.
Nora shuts my phone off and places it on the bedside table, turning her body to face me. I turn my body to face hers as well and it’s not long till we devour each other’s lips for the last night.
*
Nora makes my body feel things I don’t think it will feel again for a while. All whilst making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I remember Coco and I talking about how we want our future partner to be, and it hurts me to say mine is Nora.
*4 years ago *
Coco and I lay in the middle of Hyde Park, a bottle of cheap rose and an enormous pack of tortilla chips in between us. Coco stuffs a handful of tortillas in her mouth.
“When I get married, I hope the man cries when I walk down the aisle.”
Coco says, mouth full.
“If he doesn’t, I certainly will be.”
I chuckle, taking a gulp of the now lukewarm rose.
“I think I’d choose a guy like that, someone who is emotionally aware and completely infatuated with me.”
It’s hard not to be completely infatuated with Coco. She’s beautiful inside and out.
“I think I’d like to date a woman who’s creative, is affectionate but also independent, has aspirations, you know?”
I say, Coco humming in agreement. The sun is setting across the park, the trees lit with a golden lighting and the sky perfectly blue.
“They’ve also got to accept our friendship, because we can be a bit mad sometimes.”
Coco turns her head to face me, smiling ear to ear.
“A bit mad?”
I question, turning to face Coco, too.
“Alright, pretty mad.”
We both laugh hard. It’s funny because one time one of Coco’s ex boyfriends broke up with her because he said we were ‘too close’.
But I just think that’s female friendships.
There’s something about girls coming together and being able to relate and understand the ins and outs of each others life.
It’s even better when you find that one friendship with someone who never competes with you, always supports you and celebrates your achievements as if they’re their own.
The type of person who’s there when you’re inconsolable and still manages to make you laugh.
The one who just seems to look at you and without any words knows what you’re going through.
That for me is Coco.
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“I can’t wait to be your maid of honour.”
Coco says, a grin on her face.
“Who says you’re gonna be my maid of honour?”
I joke about.
“Uhm, our wedding scrapbooks we made when we were ten?!”
Those silly little scrapbooks, filled with cutouts from magazines.
Looking back more recently, unfortunately my choice of wedding dress is not a fuchsia pink one and the flowers would not be daisies.
But Coco’s right, that stays the same.
She will always be my number one option for maid of honour.
*
“What’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you land in America?”
I ask Nora.
“Get the largest Coke physically possible.”
Nora answers almost too quickly.
“Seems you planned that already.”
“What about you, if you were to go?”
“Get the subway, see if it’s just the tube, basically.”
Boring, but for some reason, I like to test out all the different transport options in the different places I visit. The only transport I’ve done this holiday is get into Nora’s rental car or walk to Althea’s cafe. Nora should meet Althea before she goes, actually. I sit upright and turn my head to Nora.
“One more place I need to take you.”
Nora raises one eyebrow at me.
“Trust me.” I say.
“I may need some bribing to get out of bed,”
Nora says, cuddled up in the sheets.
“I’m literally naked.”
Without a second thought, Nora shoots out of bed, gives my ass a little slap and goes to put on clothes. I chuck on what I wore earlier and we leave. I’m hoping we make it early enough that she’s not asleep. As we walk along the beach, the cats I fed before come trotting over, meowing loudly at Nora and I.
“My god, you guys are loud.”
Nora says, stroking the chin of the black and white cat. They purr all over Nora, and although it’s the cutest thing, we have to get Althea’s.
“We will come back in a bit, kitties.”
I pull Nora up and drag her along, speed walking. Then we arrive and Althea’s fairy lights outside are still on.
*
I jog up the stairs and peer through the window, and to my delight, Althea is sitting there with a glass of wine, reading the newspaper. I knock gently on the window, trying not to startle her.
“Ophelia, we can’t just intrude on random old ladies.”
Nora says, panicked. Althea’s face lights up when she sees me, and she opens the door, pulling me into a hug. She’s shorter than me, so I have to lean down quite a bit.
“Althea, this is Nora.”
I introduce them to each other, and Nora also leans in to give Althea a hug, towering over her.
“Althea makes the best Spanakopita. Have you got any to try?”
Althea nods and walks behind the counter, opening the fridge. I don’t follow, as I don’t want to interrupt her at night again. Althea wraps it up in some baking paper and hands it to Nora. Nora goes to pull out her wallet, and Althea puts her hand over Nora’s and shakes her head.
“Goodnight Althea.”
I whisper.
“Goodnight and thank you,”
Nora says afterwards, and we walk back along the beach. Nora opens the baking paper and takes a bite out of the pastry.
“This is divine.”
Nora continues munching down on it. Then we approach the cats again, and as if on schedule, they come running back towards us. I kneel in the sand, open my bag and pull out the rest of the cat treats from before.
“Do you always keep cat treats in your bag?”
Nora jokes.
“Only the essentials.”
I reply, feeding all the cats equal amount of treats.
Nora rubs her eyes roughly, making them red and patchy.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m just allergic to cats,”
Nora adds, brushing it off as if she said nothing.
“What the fuck, Nora? Why’d you not tell me sooner?”
“Because I know you love cats, and you seem so happy feeding them.”
I pull Nora to hug me and walk her backwards away from the many cats.
“You are so silly.”
I laugh a lot louder than intended. Nora just casually let me hang out with the cats, whilst her allergies were flaring up by the second. We walk back to the hotel room and I immediately start searching for some medicine. I pull out some antihistamines and give Nora a couple with a cold
BEYOND THE BLUES
flannel to cool down her irritated eyes.
“I think this is very romantic.”
Nora says, laid back on the bed, the cold flannel over her eyes.
“Stupid, but romantic.”
I add. Nora yawns. I’m not surprised since it’s midnight and we’ve filled this day with activities.
“You should go to sleep. Your flights in the morning.”
I say softly. Nora pulls the flannel off her eyes and looks at me.
“I don’t want to sleep, I just want to look at you every second till I go.”
Nora’s face was sad again, eyes heavy, but I wasn’t sure if that was from the allergies or not.
“I’ll still be right here next to you, and-”
I take a deep breath. I debated taking Nora to the airport or not, wondering if it would hurt too much to see walk away, but either way she’s leaving me, whether it’s here or the airport.
“I’ll go to the airport with you.”
Nora’s eyes light up with a gleam.
“Really?!”
she asks. I nod.
That’s that. This is our last night next to each other. I hope not forever, but for a while.