Chapter 5
Maggie
Ten Years Ago - Stanford University
I fiddle with the pen and paper on Rowan’s dorm room desk, scribbling down some immediate rules that come to mind. Is he messing with me? Does he truly want to enter this agreement with me? Or is it just the buzz and excitement of tonight?
A quick look over my shoulder tells me that Rowan’s just as nervous about this as I am. He sits on the edge of his bed, hands firmly clasped in front of him, forearms leaning on his bouncing knees. When his gaze meets mine, he stops his fidgeting and runs a hand through his hair, messing it up.
Has he always been this handsome, or was there a switch that got flipped tonight after my second margarita?
“What are you thinking?” He rests his palm flat on the bed and watches me curiously.
“I have a couple rules written down,” I say quietly. He’s going to think they’re stupid.
“Can I read them?” He nods at the piece of paper in my hand and I curl my fingers protectively around it. Rowan’s hazel eyes roam over my face and his shoulders deflate—not in defeat, but more in relief. “You know, we don’t have to start anything tonight. Or at all, if you’ve changed your mind.”
“That’s not it,” I hedge, standing up and pacing in front of him.
I’ve been to Rowan’s dorm multiple times since freshman year, and for once, I’m glad his roommate dropped out earlier this year.
That means we won’t be interrupted by anyone.
“I just—I want to keep a level head about this. That’s why I think rules are important. ”
Rowan slowly stands and stops my pacing by placing his warm hands on my shoulders. “Mags, I’m in this with you, but you need to tell me what you want.”
I nod slowly and hand him the piece of paper, watching his face as he reads the rules I came up with.
No kissing
No cuddling
No spending the night
No telling anyone
Rowan’s eyes flash with surprise at the first line, but then he nods along as he reads them again and again, almost like he’s trying to memorize them. “I can get behind this, except—”
My breath hitches as Rowan lowers the piece of paper and reaches behind me to place it back on the desk. His scent envelops me and it oddly makes me drop some of my worries. This is Rowan. My best friend. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Not intentionally.
“Mags,” he says, hands returning to my shoulders, the pressure a small reminder how steady and warm he is. A small shiver runs through me, and just like he did at the bar, Rowan runs his palms up and down my arms. “I can’t do this and not kiss you.”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out. Do I want him to kiss me? I haven’t thought about him that way before tonight, but now that he’s right in front of me, his plump lips do seem nice. Inviting. Would it be so bad?
“I just don’t want things to get complicated between us. Kissing seems like it could complicate things,” I say lamely, my eyes tracking the way he bites his bottom lip with fascination.
“How about this? If we get to the point where we don’t feel comfortable anymore, for any reason, we call it off.”
I nod along and he does too, his palms running down my forearms before intertwining his fingers with mine. My grip tightens on him as Rowan leans in and rests his forehead against mine. “Okay,” I breathe out in the small opening between us.
“As for the kissing,” he says, leaning in and barely brushing his lips against mine, “well, that’s just part of the fun.”
“Is it now?” I tease, pulling on his hands as I take a step back.
The movement brings me to the edge of his desk and Rowan steps into me.
I feel his strong, lean body everywhere.
His thighs are pressed against mine, our hips flush.
I’m distracted by our chests being pressed together, and how well we just—fit.
“It really, really is,” he whispers in a voice I’ve never heard from him before. It’s thick with lust and want and I can’t help but pull him closer. His hands land on my waist in the process and mine fist his shirt at the small of his back.
“Okay, then,” I whisper, right before Rowan covers my mouth with his and makes me forget why I even added the stupid rule to the list.
His lips are softer than I thought, but pressing. He doesn’t kiss me with urgency, but like everything Rowan does, he kisses me with a mission, paying close attention to each corner of my mouth and swiping his tongue across my seam, begging to be let in.
I gasp at the feel of his erection against me, and I hang on as long as I can, but I’m dying to know what he tastes like, so I open up to him, brushing my tongue against his.
With each stroke, I give in to his sweet taste a little more.
A quiet moan slips past his lips when I pull back and I smile against his skin as I trail my mouth down his jaw.
Rowan’s hands turn exploring as they trail down to the back of my thighs, his fingertips leaving scorching marks on his path all the way to the curve of my ass. “Fuck, Mags. Are you not wearing any underwear?”
I laugh, slipping out of his arms just enough to pull my dress over my head and drop it on the floor. I’m left in nothing but a black thong as I walk back towards Rowan’s bed, my eyes not once leaving his face.
The way he looks at me, like he wants to devour me, makes me feel bolder. His chest heaves as he watches me lay on top of his covers and shimmy out of my panties.
“Fuck me,” he says, running a hand across his jaw.
“That’s the plan.” I lean up on my elbows and cross one leg over another. “How about you take off your clothes now?”
Rowan takes a pen and crosses something off the list. He holds it between pointer and index finger to show me and I take a shallow breath. He smirks, hands moving to undress himself.
“Anything for you, Mags.”
The List
No kissing
No cuddling
No spending the night
No telling anyone