Chapter Two
CHAPTER TWO
SAWYER
“Hey, can you hand me that sketch pad?”
I looked up at Leif Montgomery and nodded. “No problem. Are you working on the piece for Warren?”
“Yes, but I’m having issues with the angle because elbows are always so tricky.”
“Tell me about it. Sometimes I wish I didn’t enjoy trying to piece puzzles together like that.”
“Figuring out how it can look good at multiple positions is always difficult. But I enjoy the process, even as I’m pulling out my hair.”
“And what luscious hair that is. It would truly be a loss.”
He flipped me off, and I went back to my sketches. I had two appointments already and had another one in about an hour. I was damn lucky to have even gotten the space at this shop. The flagship shop in downtown Denver was now known worldwide thanks to a few news articles and shows. Celebrities tried to come from all over to get their ink by a Montgomery. While there were only four studios underneath the umbrella of the Montgomerys, people wanted more. Except for the fact that the family wanted to keep everything in-house. A Montgomery had to be working at the Montgomerys.
My place happened to be the next generation place. Leif’s father was the original owner and still worked full-time downtown. And when there had been a spot open at this location, I had been lucky enough to get hired. People had clamored for it because you cannot only learn a lot, but people want your art because of the traffic alone.
I was just grateful that I’d had an in thanks to my brother who worked next door at the security company. I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to get the job if I didn’t have the talents, but I also had to mesh with the family and everyone involved for me to be hired. It was a working environment yes, but it was also a group that hung out together, worked together, and dealt with a lot of shit together. So if you didn’t get along or mesh, it wouldn’t be the right fit. So when the Montgomerys had been looking for another tattoo artist, and I had been coming up into my own, the timing just worked out.
Leaving my job at my old company had been difficult. I loved working in science and trying to find ways to combat the energy crisis that we were in. But I had been burned out. Between other companies trying to steal ideas and government contracts falling through because of politics, I was just done. I felt like I couldn’t think my way through the fog of monotony. I still worked on a contract basis with my old crew if needed. Because sometimes they needed someone to look at proofs and get all of the maps out. And it was nice for me to make sure that my mind was still working a way I needed it to.
But I enjoyed being a tattoo artist more than anything, which had surprised the hell out of my parents.
Not so much Gus. I didn’t know why, but he seemed to understand that this was exactly what I needed to be before too long.
I was just lucky that Gus happened to know a family of tattoo artists. I knew I would find a job somewhere, but this place was perfect.
“Hey, are you coming out tonight?” my boss asked, and I shrugged.
We had been back from the wedding for a week now, and something had shifted. I wasn’t sure if it was on me or Kate. Going to the wedding together like we had had probably been stupid. Kate and I both enjoyed sneaking around and living in the moment just with each other, not with everybody looking in.
Now that we were back, it was hard for me not to look at Kate. Not to go next door and brush my lips against hers and just see how she’s doing.
We had lasted months with a polite distance even while together, but one weekend had shattered that, and I didn’t know what to think.
“Earth to Sawyer. You okay?”
I flinched, pulling myself out of my thoughts. I needed to keep Kate out of my mind for the moment—and what she meant. A safe place, but nothing too serious. Because if I made it any more than it was, no good could come from it for either one of us. I’d break her just like I always did. Because there was nothing left.
“Yes, I’m fine. Just thinking. And yes, I’ll be there tonight. Who else is going?” I asked.
“Mostly our family, but not everyone,” he added at the raising of my brows. The Montgomerys had more than a few family members, and I wasn’t sure we would all be able to sit in the bar we were heading to.
“Mostly the people that work in the building, and their spouses. Everybody got babysitters, and we are going to have fun. It’s about time. Brooke and I really need a night off.”
“Why are you using your night off to hang out with us?” I asked, honestly curious. The two of them had a full family, with kids ranging in ages from infancy to elementary school age. I didn’t know how the two of them kept up with everything. I could barely keep up with myself.
And the moment I still awake with Kate.
“We haven’t had a night out with the group in far too long. We have a dinner date with just the two of us planned for next week.”
“Two nights away in one month? Look at you being gluttonous.”
He rolled his eyes at me, and we went back to work. My appointment came in, and I did my best to focus on what I was doing and not on the fact that Kate would be there tonight.
The two of us had been in the position to hide who we were to each other in public often. Yes, we worked next door to each other, but our evenings out were usually just for us, or with separate groups.
This would be one of the few times we would be in a situation like this. And since coming back from the mountains, I wasn’t sure how long it could last.
I ran my hand over my chest, ignoring the ache there. There was a reason Kate and I worked well like this. I couldn’t offer her forever, and she wanted something just for herself. Only I wasn’t sure that was the case for her any longer. I had seen the longing look on her face, the way she had lit up when she could kiss me in public.
I was doing her a disservice by staying on this track. I knew it. I didn’t have anything to offer beyond this. But she deserved so much more. Only I didn’t want to let her go. So tonight I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to keep my hands to myself, no matter how selfish that was.
I finished up the bumblebee tattoo for the grandmother of four, and headed to the bakery next door to get a hit of caffeine. I had stayed up far too late the night before tossing and turning, thinking of Kate. So any caffeine would be good.
I liked the fact that the café was right next door, and I could have just asked for them to bring something over through the connecting door. However, I liked the feel of the place. The large coffee mugs, the scent of baked goods and fresh ground coffee filling the air. Before I had even worked in the building, I used to come here to sit at one of the small tables and work on a few math problems with copious amounts of coffee. It was truly fate’s good graces that brought me here for good.
As I walked inside, I bumped into someone, not paying enough attention. I reached out and gripped her elbows, only to realize it was Kate. She held a bakery bag in her hands that was currently pressed to my chest. She looked up at me with those wide green eyes that always took me in when I couldn’t think.
I swallowed hard. “Hey.”
“Hi, Sawyer.” She licked her lips, and it was all I could do not to bend down and capture them with mine. She always tasted so sweet. I loved the taste of her lip gloss, the way that she would nibble at my lips and moaned when I did the same to her. I loved the way she made little mewing sounds as she was close to orgasm. When I would know exactly how to slide my fingers over her clit to send her over the edge. Honestly, the feel of her pussy clamping down around my cock as she came was one of the true wonders of the world.
And with how close we were just then, I had a feeling she could feel exactly how happy I was to see her.
Her cheeks blushed to an adorable pink as she looked down between us. “Somebody’s happy to see me,” she whispered, and I winked before letting go.
“He’s always happy to see you.”
“Are you going tonight?” she asked.
I was aware that we were standing in the middle the doorway, though nobody else seemed to notice. I cleared my throat and moved slightly forward so that way she had to walk backward.
“I am. Are you?”
“Yes. Is that okay?” She paused. “I don’t know if I’m going to continue to be good at this.”
I was aware that a few of our friends were now staring at us from behind the counter. And yet, I couldn’t quite let her go.
I was such a damn bastard. “So what if I did this?” I asked. Her eyes widened in answer as I lowered my head to brush my lips against hers.
She smiled against me, and I wanted to take the action back. Because part of me craved more. I wanted to show her off to the world, and make sure she had everything she ever needed for the rest of her life. But I wasn’t that guy. And yet here I was, kissing her.
She pulled away first, and I took a step back, wondering if I had messed up.
“I guess that answers that question,” she said softly, confusion in her gaze.
Shit.
“It’s about time,” Raven said from behind us.
We both turned to her as she grinned.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied.
“I thought there was something between the two of you, but I was never sure, and Sebastian said I was wrong. However, this is great.”
“It’s just…” Kate began but couldn’t finish her sentence.
“We are just hanging out,” I blurted.
Raven frowned as Kate stiffened at my side, but I couldn’t put us through anymore lies. At least not lies to myself. Right?
“Exactly. But we will be there tonight. I can’t wait for karaoke.” Kate smiled brightly, but I could not turn to look at her. Why couldn’t I see what was in that gaze of hers?
“Okay. I’m sorry for even blurting anything to you guys. I was just excited and surprised. But don’t worry, I won’t text the group chat.” She winked. “I know all about being the center of attention. I won’t do that to you.” She reached forward and squeezed her forearms before heading back to the counter, and I let out a breath.
“I probably should have asked.”
Kate shook her head. “No. Because if you would have asked, I would not have had an answer. So this is for the best. Keeping secrets started to feel like shame. I don’t like doing that.”
But wasn’t I lying to her?
The fact I didn’t have a true answer to that worried me. But I pushed it to the side so I could at least catch my breath.
“Do you want me to pick you up?” I asked.
Her lips twitched. “I suppose we could drive together. Since the cat is out of the bag.”
“I suppose that works.” I winked, feeling as if we’d crossed a line that we couldn’t come back from. “How about I be there at seven?”
“Yes. Okay. That’s good.”
In answer, I leaned down and kissed her again, before she scurried away back to her office. I found myself no longer in need of coffee. After all, I had enough energy bouncing through my system, and I wasn’t sure when I was going to be able to get a full night of sleep again.
“Seriously, this is my favorite bridge,” Kate called out over the music.
I just grinned down at her, my arm over her shoulder. It hadn’t taken long for everybody to realize we had come in as a couple. People had countless questions, but after a few of our one-word answers, they had stopped asking. I knew I was probably the asshole, but I did not care in that moment. I just wanted to enjoy my night out with Kate. Because I did not know how much longer this would last. How much longer it could last.
She looked so happy underneath the multicolored lights, dancing in her seat as Greer sang a popular pop song.
“I didn’t know you could have a favorite bridge?”
“I have like seven of them. And this is the top one. It’s one of the parts of the songs that you can stand up and sing and shout right along with the artist and feel like a part of it. Not everybody truly does it, but a few artists like her do it perfectly.”
“So I guess you and I truly have a thing for bridges.”
She blushed and elbowed me in the side.
“Maybe. I can’t help it. It’s fun. But I promise never to force you to sing a bridge with me while we’re on our bridge.”
Our bridge.
Because it was the first place we kissed, the first place we had made plans—the first place I knew I was in trouble.
Just like I knew I was in trouble now.
She must’ve seen something in my face, because her smile faltered. “What’s wrong?”
“Just a headache,” I lied. “We are at karaoke.”
“True. It is my turn next. Just don’t make fun of me when I go full pop princess up there.”
I pushed her hair back from her face and smiled. “I promise. I won’t.”
“Good. Because I will kick your ass.”
“That’s my Kate.”
Her face softened before she jumped up to go take the mic. She spoke with the organizer for a few moments, going over the song.
I let out a breath as someone sat next to me, and I knew exactly who it was. My brother studied my face, a frown on his, and I was afraid of what he would say. Because my brother knew me more than anyone. While Kate was starting to get to know me far more than I thought possible, Gus knew all of my secrets. Or at least he knew all of them now.
“What?” I nearly barked.
“Are you okay?”
No judgment, no anger over keeping secrets. Just my brother worrying about me. And what was the kick to the chest? I nearly got up and ran out of the building so I wouldn’t have to face that question.
Because I did not have an answer for him.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Montgomerys just know all, and Kate and I wanted this to be for us.”
Gus shook his head. “I know Kate, because small town , and I figured that might be her excuse. She has enough big brothers working with her, that her wanting a moment to herself makes sense. But you? Does she know, Sawyer?”
I shook my head, my jaw tightening. “No. But it’s fine. This is just casual. We’re friends.”
“You’re welcome to keep lying to me. I know that you need to. Especially with everything that happened. But don’t lie to Kate anymore. Please, because I love you, don’t lie to yourself.”
Before I could say anything, he got up and went back to his wife, Jennifer, who was giving me a curious look. Because she didn’t know either. My brother had kept my secrets even though I didn’t have a true excuse other than my own cowardice.
But I pushed it to the back of my mind as I stared at Kate. She gave me a tentative smile, and I grinned back at her, holding up two thumbs.
“Play ‘Wonderwall’!” I called, and as she laughed, the crowd joined in, and Kate began to sing. Her perfect alto voice was soothing and catching. It wrapped around my soul, the one thing I couldn’t allow, but I ignored all of the warning signs.
And I watched the woman I was falling in love with sing a song about broken hearts and past lives.
I told myself that this would be enough for both of us. That she wouldn’t fall along with me.
Because I vowed never to love again. Never to fall fully.
And Kate would just have to understand.
And hopefully so would I.