Chapter 4
ONE WEEK LATER
LUCKY
She lied.
Staring at the shattered dishes and food splattered on the diner tile floor, those words keep repeating in my head.
She lied. She lied. She lied.
Elaine lied when she said it would get easier over the last week.
Whether it was intentional or simply her nature to keep reassuring me and saying those words, they definitely weren’t true.
And that sweet woman’s insistence that I’m getting better and she couldn’t possibly do it without me—along with the really good tips I keep getting despite my ineptitude—is the main reason I stayed longer in McBride Mountain than I had originally intended.
Far longer.
But the extra time in the diner hasn’t done anything to improve my skills.
I still keep fucking everything up—getting orders wrong, dropping trays, spilling on customers.
For the life of me, I don’t know why the old woman keeps me around anymore. She must be a glutton for punishment.
And so am I, apparently.
Or maybe I’ve just gotten so used to things being fucked up in my life that everything that’s happened the past week here has barely even been a blip on the radar.
A very messy blip…
I lower myself to my knees and start scooping up the pieces of ceramic that were once a bowl and plate, cringing at the chili scattered across the tile floor that I’ll have to clean up, too.
The chatter in the diner has already returned to a normal level after my epic performance momentarily shattered the mood, but over it, the now far too familiar bells above the door ring.
My spine stiffens, and I peek back to check who entered and cringe.
Why does it have to be him?
Of all the people that could’ve walked in right now, it just had to be Liam McBride.
While there are certainly other faces I would like to see less—ones whose presence would end this little stopover in McBride Mountain the moment they walked through that door—Liam arriving to see me like this, yet again, feels like a slap in the face from karma trying to pay me back for the things that brought me here in the first place.
He’s been in here every day since I arrived, and every time he steps through that door, I lose a little bit of my ability to remain unaffected by his easy smile, calm demeanor, quick laugh, and genuine friendliness.
It gets a little harder to pretend he isn’t the type of white knight hero from the fairytales because he’s the closest to it that I’ve ever met, and I’m Cinderella, on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors.
Only, unlike in the children’s stories, I’m cleaning up after myself instead of some wicked step-sisters.
At least this time, Liam didn’t witness the actual event, only the messy aftermath, but instead of making his way to his usual table, he beelines for me and drops to his knees, reaching out for a rather sharp-looking piece of the bowl.
“You don’t have to do that.”
The corner of his lips curls slightly as he leans closer, and his pine and spice scent reaches me over all the smells of the diner. “I know, but I want to. Are you okay?”
I don’t know if he’s talking about the fact that I just destroyed more dishes, or that at this point, I’ve probably broken enough that I should be paying Elaine rather than her paying me.
Or maybe he’s asking in the broader sense, because he’s been watching me so closely every day when he comes in here and can obviously tell that my life is a hot fucking mess.
Whatever his reason, tears well in my eyes at the fact that he’s asking at all, that he’s noticed and recognizes how hard all of this has been for me even when he doesn’t have the slightest clue what’s really going on behind the scenes.
But just like I always do, I blink them away before they can fall and draw in a deep breath.
“I’m fine.”
You are fine.
I keep telling myself that every day, but the longer I stay in McBride Mountain, the more frequently I’m looking over my shoulder, watching every car that passes, jumping every time those damn bells jingle above the door, spending sleepless nights staring at the street in case I need to grab my bag and Gizmo to run.
The longer I stay, the more I realize I have to go.
Because of these people.
Because they’ve welcomed me and offered me so much I don’t deserve, and bringing this down on them would be the ultimate betrayal of that trust they’ve given me when they don’t even know me.
Liam continues to gather the larger pieces while I pile up the smaller shards on the tray. We both reach for the same fragment, and his fingers brush against mine. Just like that first night, when our hands met, a strange warmth spreads through me with the slightly fleeting touch.
I jerk away, terrified of the heat becoming a flame I won’t be able to put out.
He doesn’t comment on my abrupt reaction. We simply work in silence, neither of us in any particular rush but both of us casting furtive glances, as if we each expect the other to say something at any moment.
But we don’t.
We just work slowly and meticulously.
He was right.
Pretty much everything moves slowly here, and that isn’t a bad thing.
Slow is exactly what I need right now.
A chance to take a full breath.
Which is yet another reason I haven’t left yet.
I may be looking over my shoulder every minute, but at least I can breathe here.
The clean, clear summer mountain air, coupled with the fact that I’m actually standing still in one place for longer than a few seconds at a time, has given me a chance to do something I haven’t in years—enjoy the illusion of peace and safety.
Even though I know it won’t last.
It can’t.
Nothing is this perfect.
I steal glances at Liam as we work, searching for any signs of flaws, of red flags I’ve somehow missed with others, but all I ever see when this man comes to the diner is good manners, quick smiles, and those grins that seem to melt away the tension from my body for a brief moment.
As soon as all the pieces are safely on the tray, I push to my feet. “I’m going to go get the mop.”
There’s so much chili on the floor that it is a major hazard—as much as my waitressing skills.
Elaine looks our way from behind the counter and follows me into the back storage room, where I plan to grab the mop and bucket. “You okay, sweetie?”
I turn to her and force a smile. “Yep. And I know you don’t want me to keep saying it, but I’m sorry.”
She reaches out and grabs my hands, squeezing them gently.
“Honey, we were all like that when we started. It’ll be okay.
” Her gaze darts out in the direction of Liam where he stands guard over the spill, ensuring no one accidentally steps in it while I’m gathering supplies. “Nice of Liam to offer to help you.”
“Yeah.” I pull out of her hold and grab the mop and bucket to keep her from feeling the way my hands are trembling just thinking about the way it felt when we touched. “It was.”
He’s always nice.
Always helpful.
Always asking if he can take Gizmo with him to the office while I work on the days he will be there and not up on the mountain where it wouldn’t be safe for the little guy.
“He’s been here every day…”
I nod, filling the bucket with hot water and cleaner. “Yep.”
The tiniest of grins pulls at her lips. “That’s pretty unusual for him.”
My back stiffens, and I try to remain casual as a now familiar warmth spreads through my body. I clear my throat, refusing to believe her words. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, he and his brothers come in maybe once a week, usually, but every day? I don’t think he’s coming for the food.”
She slips out of the back room with that little weighted comment, and I hold my breath, considering her words.
Has he really been coming in just to see me? The shittiest waitress in McBride Mountain?
I hope not.
I would much rather believe it’s because he likes Giz and the food here.
It can’t be because he feels the same spark of attraction I do. Because I won’t be here very long. Certainly not long enough to strike up a friendship, and definitely not long enough for something more—if that were even possible.
Something more.
Those words make the tears burn in my eyes again, but I don’t let them fall.
I left tears behind me a long time ago, refusing to let them back into my life.
No matter how frustrated, how lonely, how upset I get, I promised I was done with them.
Yet this job, this place, and that man are rattling me in ways I never could have anticipated.
I stand for a few moments while the water fills, trying to regain my composure enough to go back, and when I do, Liam has already brought the tray of broken dishes into the kitchen area and is still standing sentinel over the mess.
He moves to grab the mop from me, but I point to his table.
“No. Please go sit.”
One of his brows rises. “Are you sure?”
I nod.
This is my job, not his.
My mistake.
And one thing I promised myself in addition to the no tears was that I would own my mistakes and live with the consequences of them, no matter what they might be, not push them off on others. Not even if they are willing.
I mop, feeling his eyes on me every moment until the floor is completely clean, then I dump out the dirty water in the storage room sink, wash my hands, and return to the main diner area.
A few more tables have filled since I’ve been gone, and I quickly make my way over to them and get their drink and food orders before I head to Liam, giving myself more time to appear unaffected by his presence. “What can I get for you tonight?”
“I’ll have the chicken soup and a Coke.”
“You got it.” I start to leave the table, but despite how uncomfortable it might be, I can’t walk away without acknowledging what he did for me. “And thank you. For your help.”
He grins at me, relaxing back into the faux leather booth. “No need to thank me. I don’t mind. Really.”
And that’s exactly the problem.