Chapter 9 #2
There are so many big things I never had, though.
So, I’ll just add it to the list.
We turn behind the barn and head up a small slope a few hundred yards until another cabin comes into view.
This one stands tucked back well from the road with a stone and cobble path leading up to it, and it is magical.
“This is my place.”
Liam says it almost hesitantly, as if he’s afraid of how I might react to finally seeing it, and it takes me a moment to respond. Not because I’m trying to think of something to say but because it’s left me completely speechless.
“It’s beautiful.” Nestled in the middle of a grove of towering trees I can’t identify, the two-story cabin looks as if it grew there naturally, part of the landscape with the massive logs that make up its structure. “It looks like something out of a fairy tale.”
For a brief second, my heart skips a beat and the heat of his hand on my leg promises one of those swoony stories I always loved as a kid.
You don’t get to have a fairy tale.
I have to keep reminding myself of that.
That I don’t get the white knight who rides in on his steed and saves me.
I don’t get to have a happy ending.
Not with what I’ve done.
I might get a few days, or maybe if I’m actually lucky for once in my life, a week or two here with this man, and then I’m either going to have to leave, or the shit’s going to hit the fan, dragging him into it with me.
He parks the truck on the side of the cabin, turns it off, then slides out and comes around to open my door, offering me his hand.
I accept it and slide out with a still waking Giz tucked under my other arm, scanning the wilderness around us that seems to suck me into it the moment I close the door behind me.
The faint light provided by a single bulb over the front porch can’t block out the vast number of stars overhead or the inky blackness that surrounds us.
“It really is remote up here, huh?”
He squeezes my hand and grins. “We’re the only people who live on the mountain itself.”
“Really?”
His head bobs, and he swings his free hand outward toward the forest. “As far as you can see, as far as either of us could yell, it’s just us.” He offers a half grin as he tugs me up against him. “And my brothers.”
I set Gizmo on the ground, and he groggily starts sniffing around, exploring his new environment.
Liam’s hand shifts up into my hair, holding my head in place firmly, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Nothing can get to you up here, Bluebell. I promise.”
“Bluebell?”
Those sinfully tempting lips of his curve. “That’s what your hair reminds me of—the bluebells that grow here on the mountain. They’ve always been my favorite.”
He crashes his mouth to mine and just like before, at my place, I sink into him, wrapping my arms around his neck to cling to him. We kiss for so long that I lose all sense of time and space, forgetting why he had to bring me up here in the first place.
Liam groans into my mouth, then pulls away reluctantly, dropping another quick kiss on my lips before he takes my hand in his and leads me toward the cabin.
“Let me show you the inside.”
* * *
LIAM
I don’t know why what she thinks matters so much to me, but I hold my breath as I close the door behind us and Lucky takes in the interior of my cabin.
So much hard work went into this place—designing it, finding the right trees to fell for the main structure and interior beams, milling them for the flooring, cabinets, and everything else required to make this place a true home.
And no one but us has ever seen it.
Killian, Connor, Willow are the only ones who have ever set foot here, besides me. There hasn’t ever been anyone I wanted to bring home. Never any reason to allow someone into my inner sanctum.
This has always been my space. Where I come after a long, hard day of work or simply to get away from Killian and Connor when I need a break from…all that comes with older brothers.
It’s always been quiet. Peaceful. The kind of space where the rest of the world can disappear for however long I let it, but now, a realization suddenly clicks into place.
I love this cabin, but something has always been missing from it.
Something important.
Someone to share it with…
Having Lucky and Giz here fills that void I hadn’t even noticed was there.
She looks good walking around my cabin, like she was always meant to be in this space. Even the blue of her hair blends in with the soft greens and blues of the curtains and pillows on the couch.
That’s why it’s so scary—waiting to see her reaction, wondering what she’s thinking about something I worked so hard on.
If she doesn’t like it, doesn’t feel the same way I do when I’m in here, it should shatter me more than I would ever admit to anyone.
Blood rushes in my ears, my heart beating far too fast under my ribs as I wait for her response.
Lucky’s eyes move over all the hand-hewn logs and the massive beams cut from trees that grew on this very mountain.
Her wide gaze sweeps up the hand-carved railing of the stairs that lead to the loft above us, then down the stone fireplace that rises two stories in the living room and to the small kitchen at the back of the cabin.
Her jaw falls open. “You did this?”
I nod, rubbing my neck awkwardly and shifting restlessly where I still stand at the door. “With my brothers, yeah.”
“Liam, it’s…” She gapes, turning to face me with awe overtaking her beautiful face. “It’s absolutely stunning. You’re incredibly talented.”
My cheeks heat, and I tip my head slightly, overwhelmed by the compliment even when it was exactly what I needed to hear. I take the opportunity to toe off my boots and set them beside the door. “Thank you.”
I peek up at her again as I right myself, and she spins in place, her head tipped back, examining the high beams over us that come together in a triangle peak.
“I’m not just saying that, Liam. Really.” She takes it all in again, as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
A second passes, and suddenly, that far-away look she seems to get anytime we talk about family or the past returns to her eyes.
The tight smile she offers doesn’t reach her eyes. “All the houses I grew up in were very plain. To be honest, I think most of the families I lived with were worried about doing anything too fancy, that all the foster kids would destroy the place.”
My heart clenches with her confession. Pain for the little girl she was replacing any personal concerns about her liking everything.
She trails her fingers over the bear carved into the newel post. They dip across the carefully crafted features of its face, its fur, its paws.
“Killian did that.”
Her lips curve as she examines it. “I assume there are bears up here on the mountain?”
I nod, leaning against the wall to let her survey everything without my interference. “Coyotes, bears, an occasional mountain lion.”
She cringes and glances at Gizmo, who’s sniffing every inch of the place, his little tail going a mile a minute during his exploration. “He’s lucky he didn’t get snatched up that night.”
“I agree.”
The fact that they were out near that road, alone, at almost midnight has bothered me since the moment she walked into that diner, but she never offered any sort of explanation for why.
By now, I trust that she wasn’t trying to break into McBride Lumber or doing anything else nefarious, but I don’t like that she put herself and Giz in that dangerous of a situation.
Not one fucking bit.
“Are you ever going to tell me what you were doin’ out there?”
She pauses and turns back to me, and I can see the hesitation in her gaze.
Shit.
I’ve gone and ruined the moment by pushing her when I only told her an hour ago that I wasn’t going to force her to reveal anything she wasn’t ready to. But asking her these things just feels so natural because I want to know her.
I want to understand her.
I want her to let me in.
I don’t want her to run.
“You don’t have to—”
“No.” She shakes her head, squeezing her eyes closed for a moment before she reopens them and meets my gaze. “I know I don’t have to, but it’s okay. I was…sleeping out near the falls.”
My shoulders stiffen. “What?”
I had figured she’d been walking, maybe hitchhiking to get to McBride Mountain since she doesn’t have any sort of vehicle, but sleeping alone outdoors in this area isn’t merely unwise, it can be downright deadly if you aren’t prepared with the proper equipment.
Which Lucky clearly was not.
All she has with her is a backpack and that little dog.
A shudder rolls through me imagining what might have stumbled upon her and Gizmo while she was out there alone without any form of protection. “You’re incredibly lucky nothing found you out there.”
She releases a heavy sigh, running her hands through her hair which falls back into place around her freckled face like water cascading over the side of the mountain. “You have no idea.”
I’m smart enough to read between the lines there.
Lucky isn’t just talking about the wildlife.
But I promised I wouldn’t ask even though every part of me desperately wants to push for the truth.
I push off the wall beside the door and close the distance between us, tugging her up against me.
“You don’t have to worry anymore, Lucky.
I know you may not want to tell me everything that’s going on, and that’s okay because I know when you’re here, and when you’re with me, you’re safe.
You are safe with me, Bluebell. That’s enough right now. ”
She gives me a look that suggests she isn’t so sure.
Getting Lucky to actually trust me, and trust in the things I tell her, isn’t going to be easy, but I’ve never been afraid of hard work. It’s what my entire life has been built upon, and something tells me that putting it in with this woman will be both the easiest and hardest job I ever do.
Leaning in, I feather my lips across hers. “Come on, let me show you the rest of the place.”
She kicks off her old Chucks, tossing them next to my boots by the door, and I take her hand and tug her up the stairs into the loft.
My bed occupies almost the entire space, save for one corner with a dresser and a large reading chair, small end table, and lamp where I sometimes sit before bed when I don’t feel like lounging by the fire downstairs.
“Wow.” She gapes at my California king. “That’s a big bed.”
Laughing, I step in behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair, which inexplicably smells like the eucalyptus that grows on the mountain—with the slightest tinge of bacon from having worked at the diner this morning.
“After a long day, I want to be able to spread out.”
Hopefully now with her…
“And you need room for whoever’s with you, right?”
She doesn’t say it in a callous way, or like she’s jealous, but it makes me stiffen in all the wrong places.
I turn her in my arms to face me and take her cheeks in my palms. “I need to tell you something.”
Her brow furrows, and the tiniest bit of trepidation I hate seeing seeps into her eyes. “What?”
Hell.
I didn’t think this would be so difficult, but I honestly didn’t really spend much time considering this moment until Lucky walked into my life—and accused me of theft.
“This is kind of embarrassing…”
Swallowing thickly, I glance away, but Lucky raises her hand and nudges my face back toward her, completely stealing my move.
Her fingers graze across my cheek. “What is?”
“I haven’t…”
Fucking hell.
“You haven’t what?”
Just say it.
Rip it off like a Band-Aid.
Fast is less painful.
“I haven’t…been with anyone like that.”
She raises a brow. “In a long time?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Ever.”
Her brow furrows. “But”—her eyes rake over me—“how is that possible?”
There have been times I’ve asked myself that very question, but more often, it’s the furthest thing from my mind.
I work.
I build.
I help take care of the family and this town.
The fact that I haven’t had actual sex with anyone wasn’t top on my list of concerns or priorities.
But with Lucky, my cheeks heat under her assessment.
“I dated some girls in high school but was never really in love with any of them. Opportunities presented themselves, and stuff certainly happened. I can’t say I wasn’t tempted a few times, but it just never felt right because I didn’t love any of them. ”
She pulls that bottom lip of hers between her teeth and considers me for far too long, and I can’t tell what she’s thinking. By the time she releases that plump lip, I’m practically vibrating with anxiety I didn’t think I would feel about this. “I can sleep on the couch—”
“No.” I shake my head and lean in, ghosting a kiss over her lips. “You’ll sleep with me. In my bed. Where I can keep my arms around you all night.”
“Liam, I don’t want you to feel like—”
I silence her protest with another kiss and press my body against hers, letting her feel my barely restrained desire for her that’s been growing since the moment she stepped through my door.
Letting her know that she wouldn’t be forcing me into anything or putting me in a position in which I don’t very willingly want to be placed.
God…
I don’t think it’s possible to love someone you barely know.
It’s impossible when we met less than two weeks ago, but if it were possible, I would’ve said the words already because I haven’t felt like this with anyone I’ve ever known.
I want Lucky.
I want this.
I want everything with her, if she’d only give it to me.
I’m not sure if she’ll ever open up, if she’ll ever be able to give me what I really want from her.
Her past, her future, all the things she keeps hidden because she’s afraid they’re going to scare me.
But after what I learned about my past, about who I am, there’s nothing that can scare me anymore.
I pull my head back and see unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. “I want you, Lucky. Your past doesn’t scare me. What does is the thought that you’re going to run off without me ever getting to know you, without ever having this with you.”
“Are you…sure?”
I nod and a tiny grin pulls at her lips.
She wraps her arms around my neck and drags me down for another kiss as Gizmo jumps up onto the bed and lays on it, tipping his head to the side.
I close my eyes as we deepen the kiss, ignoring the dog and the fact that there’s still this darkness looming over us.
There’s still some sort of threat that she won’t tell me about that we will have to face.
Later.
In this moment, here at the homestead, she’s safe.
When she’s like this in my arms, nothing can touch us.