Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Elle
I wake slowly, feeling warm and comforted, like I’m wrapped in something soft and familiar. My body is relaxed, sinking into the bed, the weight of sleep still heavy on me. It’s not until I shift slightly that I realise something feels…off.
Someone’s in bed with me.
For a heartbeat, I stiffen, my eyes snapping open. Panic floods me – what the hell is going on? – But then, I remember: Candy said she’d be over in the morning to check on me, to make sure I’m okay. So I relax, sinking back into the plush sheets. I close my eyes again, letting the warmth of the bed pull me back into sleep.
I must’ve dozed off again, because when I finally come to, it’s with a sharp, unsettling awareness. There’s something pressing against my ass, hard and unforgiving, not the softness of the blankets I had been feeling.
And I’m not in my flat. Which means it can’t be Candy in bed with me, because she doesn’t know where I am. I didn’t send her the new address yet.
My mind races as I take in the sensation of an arm wrapped around my chest, warm skin brushing against my own, and the unmistakable pressure of a body behind me.
My gaze zeroes in on the arm that’s caged me. A hairy arm. A muscular, tattooed, male arm.
No. No, no, no.
My heart skips a beat, and a surge of anger and dread rushes through me all at once.
Seb .
I freeze for a moment, my whole body rigid, before the reality of the situation starts to sink in. He’s here . In the bed. With me.
My stomach turns as I try to untangle myself from the mess of sheets and limbs, pushing at his arm, but it’s like he’s glued to me, his presence overwhelming in every sense.
What the fuck is he doing here?
Without thinking, I smack his chest hard, my hand stinging from the impact. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I demand, my voice low but sharp, cutting through the heavy silence of the room.
He stirs, a low groan escaping his lips, and I feel the movement of his body against mine. I brace myself for the usual cocky, arrogant response. He’ll throw the contract in my face, tell me it’s his right. Maybe he’ll even claim that he was just fulfilling his part of the deal.
But instead, when his eyes open, there’s none of the smugness I’m expecting. His face crumples with guilt, his features contorting as if he’s in pain. It takes me a moment to process it, and then it hits me.
Seb is sorry.
“Elle. Fuck.” His voice cracks. “I don’t know where to begin. I’m so fucking sorry.”
My breath catches in my throat. The weight of his apology hangs in the air between us, thick and suffocating. The guilt in his eyes makes my chest tighten, the anger mixing with something else I can’t quite name.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again, his voice rough and broken. His hands are trembling as they move to touch me, to steady himself, and I can’t tell if it’s from the emotion or something else.
“Sorry?” I scoff, pushing myself up onto my elbows, trying to create some space between us. I’m furious, but there’s this knot in my throat that I can’t shake. “Sorry for what, Seb? For everything ? For tricking me? For working with your father to fuck me over?”
His jaw clenches, the frustration clear in the way he exhales sharply, but it’s followed by the softest of apologies. “Never. I would never do that, Elle. I swear, I didn’t know what he was doing. I didn’t know about the prenup – about how he threatened you.”
I stare at him, confusion and disbelief clouding my thoughts. “You didn’t know?” I whisper, the question barely leaving my lips before I snap again. “Then why the hell didn’t you ask me? Why didn’t you talk to me? Why storm off? And why the fuck did you kiss me and then leave?”
“I should’ve stayed. Should’ve listened,” he admits, his voice cracking. He sounds like he’s unraveling, his whole demeanor breaking down in front of me. “I should’ve trusted you. I didn’t – god, Elle, I didn’t want to believe he could do that to you. I thought...He said…Now I...I see how wrong I was. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”
By the time he’s finished saying absolutely nothing, there’s tears in his eyes and total devastation on his face. I shake my head, the ache in my chest growing. His words are tearing at me, unraveling the wall I’ve built around my heart, but I can’t let him in – not yet.
“You don’t get to apologise for this,” I say, my voice shaking. “You don’t get to undo all the damage with five little letters, just because you finally see the truth. Sorry doesn’t cut it Sebastian. What you did last night was downright cruel.”
I want to leave but there’s something in his eyes that stops me. The rawness of his regret. The way he’s looking at me like he’s lost and willing to do anything to fix it.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right,” he murmurs. His voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s the most sincere thing I’ve heard from him. “My father was manipulating us both, but that’s no excuse for how I reacted. I should have known better than to believe a word he said. He was too fucking gleeful. I knew something was going on. Fuck!”
I want to be angry. I want to lash out, to tell him to leave, to tell him this is too late. But a part of me – the part I hate – wants to believe him.
And that’s the part I can’t trust right now.
“I promise you, Elle. I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us.”
I pull back from him, every muscle in my body rigid with conflict. His words hang in the air, thick and heavy, but I can’t bring myself to trust them. Not yet. Not after everything that’s happened.
“I don’t know if you can fix this,” I mutter, my voice tight with frustration, my throat raw from the strain. “I don’t know if we can be fixed.”
His eyes – those damn eyes that usually hold so much confidence, so much control – are now wide with something vulnerable, something raw, that makes my chest ache even more. He reaches for me again, his fingers barely grazing my arm, like he’s afraid to touch me too much, to break the fragile truce between us.
“I’ll make it right, Elle. I swear.” His voice is soft, but the conviction is there, under the weight of his remorse. “I’m not going anywhere. Please... give me a chance to show you.”
I take a deep breath, pushing the tears back. God, I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to feel sorry for him. He’s the reason I’m in this mess. He’s the reason I’ve been questioning everything. But still, I can’t ignore how much his sincerity hurts, how much it makes me want to believe that maybe – just maybe – he truly didn’t know what was happening.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it?
Maybe .
Everything between us has been full of maybes. Maybe he loves me. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he’s trustworthy. Maybe he’s playing me. Maybe this is all just a game to him, one he’s been playing so well that even I’ve started to wonder if I’m the one who’s lost.
I swallow hard, forcing the lump in my throat down. “You should’ve asked me, Seb. You should’ve trusted me. I was never trying to trap you. I wasn’t trying to trap anyone. This was always your idea.” I laugh, but it’s harsh and humourless. “I just wanted to get laid, remember?”
“I know. I know,” he murmurs, and I can see the guilt and frustration in his eyes. “I was stupid. I was so stupid, Elle. I...I just didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to be stuck in this contract, stuck in a life I never asked for. And then my father...” His voice falters, his hand dropping to his side in defeat. “I let him mess with my head. I let him twist everything. And now, look where we are. I fucked up. I know that. And I’m sorry.”
The words sound sincere, but I can’t decide if they’re enough. If he’s enough. I never asked for any of this. I never wanted it to be Sebastian who bid on me. I never wanted romance. Didn’t want to fall in love. I just wanted to lose my virginity, so I could start exploring all of my desires and fantasies.
Instead, I’m one breath away from heartbreak.
Something I never asked for.
How the hell do we get ourselves out of this mess?
There’s still a contract between us. A prenup. And there’s still secrets and lies.
I look away from him, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze any longer.
“You don’t get to come in here, crawl into my bed, and act like everything’s okay now, Seb. You’ve made me feel like a fool. Like I’m the one who’s always been in the wrong, like I’m the one trying to trap you. And now you want to apologise because you finally get it?”
He flinches, but I don’t stop. The anger I’ve been holding in starts to spill out, a simmering volcano ready to explode. “You think that makes everything better? That your apology makes up for all the lies, the games, the fucking contract you never bothered to question? The way you let your father control everything, including me?”
His face tightens, his jaw setting as though he’s trying to hold onto his composure. But his eyes...they’re lost. Like he’s searching for something in me, something that’s not there yet. Something he doesn’t deserve.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me right away, Elle,” he says quietly. “I’m not even asking for your trust right now. I know we’ve not been together long, and god knows I’ve screwed up too much in that time, but with my father no longer in control, we can finally live our life together. All I want is a chance to prove that I can be the man you need. The man who deserves you.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. Part of me wants to scream at him, to tell him that he’ll never be that man, that he’ll never be enough. But another part of me – the part I hate – wants to believe him, wants to let myself lean into him, to fall into the comfort he offers with those broken words.
But I can’t. I can’t let myself fall for this again.
I can’t let him see how much he’s hurt me. How much it’s broken me. He can’t know how much I love him.
So I exhale sharply, my heart pounding. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you anymore, Seb. You’ve broken me. And I don’t know if I can fix this – us .”
He leans closer, his breath warm on my skin as he whispers, “Then let me fix it. Let me try. Let me be your husband for real. Not because of some contract or deal or fucking prenup. Let me be your one and only. The one person in this world you can rely on for anything. I swear to you Elle, I can be that guy. I will be that guy. I want our marriage to be real.”
I close my eyes, trying to breathe through the chaos inside me. The part of me that wants to push him away, to tell him to leave. The part of me that still feels the pull of him, of what we could be, if we weren’t both so broken.
But I’m too tired for this. Too tired for games. For contracts. For people manipulating me.
“I can’t right now,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need space, Seb. I need to think.”
His expression falters, but he nods slowly. He doesn’t push me. Not now.
“I’ll give you space,” he says, his voice raw. “But I’m not going anywhere. And I’ll keep proving to you that I can be better. I mean it, Elle. I’m all in with you. With us. However long it takes.”
I don’t know if I believe him. I don’t know if I ever will.
But I want to.
I flee to my apartment, spend the rest of the week there eating takeout and avoiding everyone, before putting on my big girl panties and dragging my ass to work the following Monday morning.
True to his word, Seb has been giving me space, but the same cannot be said for Candy, who has been blowing up my phone non-stop.
I’m not even surprised when she marches through the door of the boutique ten minutes before closing.
“Elle,” she starts, hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed in that familiar, fierce way. “We need to talk.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. The tension that’s been gnawing at me all weekend hits me again, a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. I straighten up, forcing myself to act like I’m in control, even though I feel like I’m one bad decision away from losing my shit.
“Candy,” I say, my voice tight. “I’m working.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the boss too,” she shoots back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “So that means you can’t avoid me forever.”
I glance around at the few remaining customers in the shop, none of whom seem to notice the storm brewing.
“Let me finish up, and we can talk,” I mutter, trying to brush her off. But she’s not having it.
“No,” she snaps, stepping closer. “Now.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to protest before she’s ushering the last few customers out, flipping the sign to closed, and locking the door. Then she’s tugging me away from the counter, guiding me to the back office. I try to resist, but Candy’s strength is legendary, and honestly, I’m too tired to fight her on this.
She shuts the door behind us, her gaze locking onto mine with an intensity that makes me nervous. I know this look. I’ve seen it before. It’s the one she gets when she’s about to deliver a dose of truth that I’m not sure I can handle.
I take a deep breath and cross my arms over my chest, preparing myself. “What’s so urgent?”
“You want urgent?” Candy growls, her voice low and dangerous. “I’ll give you urgent.”
She leans forward, putting her hands flat on the desk as she stares me down. “I talked to Seb. I told him everything. I told him exactly how much pain you’re in, how he’s fucked this all up, and how much you’re questioning everything.”
I flinch at the mention of his name. It feels like a fresh wound, one that’s still raw and bleeding. But I force myself to stay silent, even though every inch of me wants to scream.
“And you know what he said?” Candy continues, her voice soft but firm. “He said he was sorry. He said he was wrong. He’s been at ours all week, and he’s been a wreck, Elle. Do you even realise how much this is eating him alive?”
I hug myself tightly, the ache in my chest flaring. “What does it matter? It’s too late. He’s hurt me too much.”
Candy’s expression softens, but her gaze doesn’t waver. “It matters because he loves you. And because you love him. And because he wasn’t the one who hurt you. Not really.”
Her words hit me like a physical blow, and I stumble back a step, shaking my head. “Don’t. Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” she challenges. “Because it’s true? Because you don’t want to admit that despite everything, you’re still in love with him? That’s why you’re so angry, Elle. You don’t hurt this much over someone you don’t care about.”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I blink rapidly, trying to hold them back. “I can’t do this, Candy. I can’t keep putting myself out there, only to get crushed again. I gave him everything, and he—” My voice cracks, and I press a hand to my mouth, choking on a sob.
Candy steps closer, her voice gentler now. “Elle, I know you’re scared. I know he’s made mistakes – big ones. But he’s trying to make it right. And you’ve seen him, you know he’s not like his father. He’s not playing games with you.”
I shrug my shoulders, tears streaming down my face. “But what if he is? What if this is just another way for him to control me? I don’t know how to trust him anymore.”
Candy reaches out, gripping my shoulders firmly. “Listen to me. Seb’s not perfect, but he’s not Alexander. He’s a man who’s spent his entire life being manipulated and controlled by that monster, and you’re the first person who’s ever made him want to break free from that. He’s terrified, Elle. He’s terrified of losing you because he knows you’re the only real thing in his life. He fucking loves you so damn much, and if you ask me, he’s as much a victim here as you are. You were both manipulated and played by his father, but he has years of trauma to work through.”
I let out a shaky breath, her words hitting me hard. “I don’t know if love’s enough. It isn’t supposed to hurt like this.”
Candy nods, her eyes glistening. “You’re right. It’s not. But real love – the kind that changes you, the kind that’s worth fighting for – it’s messy and painful and scary as hell. And you have that with Seb. You both just need to stop being so goddamn stubborn and let each other in. Because right now it’s not the love that’s hurting you, it’s the fear.”
I close my eyes, her words swirling around in my head. Deep down, I know she’s right. I do love him. And that’s what makes all of this so terrifying. Because loving him means risking everything, and I’m not sure I have the strength to do that again.
“What if I let him in, and it all falls apart?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
Candy squeezes my shoulders, her expression fierce. “Then you’ll survive, just like you always do. But Elle, what if it doesn’t? What if this is your chance at something real, something that lasts? Are you really going to let fear stop you from finding out?”
I don’t answer. I can’t. Because the truth is, I don’t know what I’m going to do. All I know is that the walls I’ve built around myself are starting to crumble, and I don’t know if I can hold them up any longer.
Candy pulls me into a hug, her arms strong and comforting. “Just think about it, okay? Don’t let your fear make the decision for you.”
I nod against her shoulder, the tears still falling. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s time to stop running and start fighting for what I really want.
The question is, do I have the courage to take that leap?