Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Elle
I stand in the middle of my apartment, surrounded by half-packed boxes and empty shelves. The place feels so different now – almost foreign. It’s not just the fact that it’s almost empty, but that I’m leaving. For good.
I reach up to pull down a framed picture from the wall, one of my mom and me when I was younger, and the sharp sting of nostalgia hits me. This was the last space that truly felt like my own.
This home was a symbol of my independence. Of me not needing anyone. But now I’m leaving it all behind. I’m moving into Seb’s house. Our house. The house he purchased, designed and fitted out for us. It’s perfect. He did a fantastic job. There’s not a single thing I would change about the place.
But…
I drag a hand through my hair, trying to shake off the unsettling thought. I never thought I’d be here, doing this.
I can still feel the weight of Seb’s presence in the back of my mind. Our conversations have become more real lately – more intimate. We’ve talked about things that we’d been avoiding before: trust, vulnerability, what we need from each other. We’ve been taking things slow, not rushing into anything. It feels right, but also terrifying in its own way.
I pull the last of the books from the shelf, running my fingers along the spines before carefully placing them into a box. A week has passed since Seb handed his father over to the authorities. And with that, everything changed. The walls between us, the invisible barriers, they’ve all slowly started to fall away. He’s been patient, giving me space when I need it, but we’ve spent so much time together that I can’t imagine not being near him now.
I don’t want to spend another night under a different roof to him. He is my husband after all.
I look around at the boxes stacked in the corner, my things now reduced to memories and material. My entire life here is packed away, ready to be carted off. To be replaced. I breathe in deeply, steadying myself.
I think I’m ready for this. Or at least, I tell myself I am.
There’s a part of me that feels exposed, though. A little vulnerable. I’m not sure why that part of me is still clinging to the safety of this place, this life of independence. It’s like I’m clinging to something that no longer serves me, because stepping into the unknown with Seb feels so…risky. So full of possibilities, and I don’t know if I’m entirely ready for it.
I want to be. I want to trust him. I want to trust us. In us. To trust in forever. But it’s scary.
The soft click of the front door opening brings me back to reality, and I look up just as Seb walks in, a smile pulling at his lips when he sees me standing there, lost in my thoughts.
“Still here?” he teases, his voice warm with affection. “Thought you’d be halfway to the house by now.”
I chuckle, even though it feels a little forced. “I’m getting there. Just…organising things.”
Seb’s eyes soften. He crosses the room in a few long strides, his hand gently cupping my cheek. “You don’t have to rush,” he says quietly. “There’s no deadline.”
I lean into his touch, feeling the comfort of it seep through me. He’s been patient with me in a way no one else has. It’s a level of kindness I didn’t know I deserved, and yet, it’s exactly what I need.
“I’m not rushing,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just want this to feel right. I’ve been doing things on my own for so long…it’s just a big change.”
His thumb brushes across my skin, slow and deliberate, as if trying to reassure me without words. “I know. And we’ll take it slow. You don’t have to change anything for me. We’re just…doing this together.”
The simplicity of his words hits me harder than I expected, and I swallow the lump in my throat.
We’re doing this together.
It’s enough to make my chest tighten with emotion.
The quiet in the room stretches for a moment, and I feel his gaze on me, soft and steady. He doesn’t rush me. Doesn’t push. Just waits.
“Let’s get you settled,” Seb says gently. His voice is low, steady, like it always is, and yet, there’s an underlying urgency to it, as if he wants to make sure I’m comfortable. It’s almost like he’s waiting for me to make the next move.
I nod, trying to focus on the task at hand, but it’s hard with the storm of emotions brewing inside me.
I take a few more steps around the room, gathering the last of my things, but my movements are slow, deliberate. I’m not quite ready to let go, and I can feel Seb’s eyes following me, patient and understanding.
“You’ve got everything you need?” he asks softly, his voice carrying a hint of concern. “For today at least?”
“Yeah. I think so,” I reply, but the doubt in my voice is evident. “I’m just…not sure if I’m ready to let go of this place.”
Seb steps behind me, wrapping his arms around me from behind, his warmth a constant reassurance. His chin rests on the top of my head as he pulls me in, holding me tight. “It’s okay to feel scared. But I’m not going anywhere. And neither is this. It’s just a new chapter.”
I lean into him, letting myself relax for a moment, knowing that no matter what, I don’t have to face this alone.
“I know,” I whisper. “I just want to make sure I’m making the right choice.”
Seb doesn’t respond right away, but his presence speaks volumes. He’s here, with me, and he’s not leaving. For the first time in a long time, I believe him. And maybe – just maybe – I can trust that this, whatever this is, is the right choice.
I stand there for a moment, wrapped in Seb’s arms, the quiet comfort of his embrace allowing the tension to slip away. I close my eyes, inhaling the scent of him – cedarwood and leather, mixed with a trace of something uniquely Seb. It’s grounding. I can feel myself steadying, piece by piece, as I rest against him.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says again softly, his voice vibrating against my skin. “If you need more time, Elle, you can keep the lease on this place if you want. It’s yours. I don’t expect you to make a decision like this so quickly.”
I pull back slightly, enough to see his face, the gentle concern in his eyes. He’s giving me an out, offering me a way to hold on to my independence, and for a moment, I’m tempted to take it. I could keep my apartment. Keep this last little piece of me, this small pocket of space where I still feel like I’m in control of everything.
But as I look into Seb’s eyes, I know the truth. I am ready.
“I don’t need the lease anymore,” I say, my voice a little stronger now, the words coming easier than I expected. “I’m ready to commit to you. To us.”
Seb’s eyes soften, his lips curling up at the corners as if he’s relieved but also incredibly proud of me. “Are you sure?” he asks quietly, the weight of the question making my chest tighten. “You don’t have to rush this, Elle. I can wait. I’ll wait as long as you need.”
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I just…need to say goodbye to this place. To my old life.”
He gently tilts my chin up, his eyes searching mine, full of warmth and understanding. “Take all the time you need. Our new life is waiting for us when you’re ready.”
My heart swells at his words, and without thinking, I rise on my toes and press my lips to his. The kiss is soft at first, tentative, as if we’re both testing the waters of this new step we’re taking. But then he deepens the kiss, pulling me closer, his hands cupping my face, his fingers brushing through my hair as though he never wants to let go.
I can feel the weight of everything between us in that kiss – the trust, the fear, the longing. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m finally allowing myself to be loved without hesitation.
When we break apart, I can see the same mixture of emotions mirrored in his eyes. He smiles at me, a smile full of pride and affection, as if he knows how big of a step this is for me. “You’re incredible,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m so damn proud of you.”
A small smile tugs at my lips. “No. I’m just figuring it out as I go.”
“No,” he insists softly. “You’re doing more than figuring it out. You’re trusting me. That means everything.”
I blink quickly, as if to hold back the sudden rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm me.
“I am,” I whisper. “I trust you, Seb.”
His smile softens even more, and then, without another word, he takes my hand and leads me out. It’s surreal, walking through the empty space that’s been mine for so long, knowing that in a few moments, I’ll be in the house I’m sharing with Seb. The house that’s now part of our future together.
We get to the car, and I take a deep breath, the reality of it all settling in. One last look back. This is it. The last step.
Once we’re in the car, Seb’s hand finds mine, threading his fingers through mine as he starts the engine. “You okay?” he asks, glancing at me, his voice low and comforting.
I nod, squeezing his hand in return, smiling softly. “Yeah. I really am okay.”
“Wanna come back tomorrow?” He asks with an easy, patient smile.
I shake my head. “No. I’m good. The movers can do the rest. I’m done.”
We drive through the city, the familiar streets fading into the backdrop of my new reality. It feels surreal – driving away from the life I’ve known, toward something new, something unknown. But in the pit of my stomach, I feel something else. Hope. Excitement.
When we finally arrive at our house, my heart skips a beat. The house. My new home.
Seb parks the car, and I sit for a moment, gathering my thoughts, before he gets out and opens the door for me. I look up at the house one last time before stepping out.
Seb’s eyes meet mine, and he doesn’t say a word. He just smiles. Then he scoops me into his arms, effortlessly lifting me off the ground, and starts to carry me toward the door.
“Seb,” I laugh, the sound surprising even me. “What are you doing?”
“Tradition,” he grins. “I’m carrying you over the threshold, wife.”
I let out an exasperated sigh, though my heart is swelling with affection. “That’s a bit cliché, don’t you think?”
Seb shrugs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Sometimes clichés are the best part.”
I laugh again, feeling lighter than I have in days. His arms around me, the warmth of his body, everything about this feels right.
As he walks us inside, I glance around the spacious foyer, the house finally feeling like it’s ours – not just his, but mine too.
Seb sets me down gently in the foyer, his hands lingering on my waist as he looks into my eyes. “Welcome home,” he whispers.
Home. It’s a strange, beautiful word, but for the first time, I feel it. I’m home.