29. Jackson
The view from the back balcony of my parent”s house was unmatched and always had been. As a kid I’d played in the gardens, chasing my baby sister around the pruned hedges and the fountains, the staff screaming at me to keep her away from the water. Now, she showed it off to Fred, the ground coated heavily in snow, their boots leaving a trail of footprints. Most of it the greenery was bare, but even in the winter, Mom insisted on decorating it with lights and decorations.
I clutched my cup of coffee as if it was my saving grace, the steam wafting upward and assaulting my nostrils. It had been two weeks since I didn’t say, “I love you” back to Mandy, and with every passing second, it weighed heavier on my mind. I did love her. Of course I did. But I couldn’t say it when even uttering the words could put her in danger.
So instead, I distracted myself. Sleepless night after sleepless night spent pouring over information, trying to get to the bottom of the threat. My team was great, but even so, they were struggling. When I’d run out of new information to distract myself with, I tried to see Mandy, or I’d surround myself with the woodlands by my house. But here, at my parents, there was little to distract myself with.
I’d been summoned home for a post-honeymoon family gathering. They’d managed to talk me into staying an extra night.
The sliding glass door behind me squealed before shutting again, three heavy footsteps telling me very clearly that Dad had come to join us. Either that or our house was infested with very smart bears.
“You leaving in the morning?”
I didn’t bother turning, just clutched my coffee tighter. “Yeah. I’ll probably be gone by the time you guys wake up.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary then,” he snorted, his breath fogging around us as he stepped up to the railing next to me. “You seem distant.”
“I’m always distant, Dad.”
“More distant than usual,” he explained. He watched Tiana and Fred as they started gathering snow to make a snowman, something she and I had done countless times growing up. It was nice to see her giggling and smiling instead of scowling. “How are things with Miranda?”
Yep. Should’ve guessed he wanted to talk about my love life. “Fine,” I lied, my jaw steeling.
“Is it serious?” He asked, tearing his gaze from my sister for once and looking at me. “Or are you still convinced it’s all for show?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m not sure what’s happening anymore.”
“I’ve had a few friends pull the same stunt you did,” he chuckled, plucking the coffee cup from my hand and stealing a sip. “I’d say about half of them are happily married now to their faux-fiancée.”
The words swam around in my brain. “What are you saying?”
He sighed exasperatedly as he stared me down, my mug of coffee swirling steam up around his wrinkled face. “Look, Jackson,” he started, his bushy brows furrowing. “I know we’ve never been exactly close. But I’m going to say to you the exact same thing I said to Miranda at the wedding—you’re different with her. More alive. More yourself. It’s like you never got taken away in the first place, and that’s really fucking saying something, son.”
“Dad—”
“No, listen. You lock her down. She loves you, I can see it, and I know damn well you love her too. You always did. You wouldn’t have asked for that ring if you didn’t. You may be doing this to save your asses but there was nothing fake between you two at the wedding.”
I sighed, forcing myself to look away from him. I knew he was right, knew it in my very soul, but being right came with consequences, consequences I wasn’t prepared to make her face. I wouldn’t put her in danger, not again, not ever.
I would break myself in two before I let it come to that.
I sucked in a breath and watched the little pieces of snow that floated down in the moonlight, infrequent and delicate, trying to distract myself from what I knew was inevitable. “I don’t think any of that matters.”
Dad released a long breath, his mouth opening then quickly closing as he shook his head. He slipped my mug of coffee back into my hands, turned, and headed for the house. “I don’t understand why you won’t let yourself be happy.”
The glass door opened and slammed shut, nearly hard enough to shatter it.
He couldn’t understand. He never would. As far as I knew, Mom had never been under threat, at least not one as serious as this. I knew they loved each other and if Mom was under the same kind of life-altering or life-ending threat as Mandy could be, he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. I had to believe that.
I looked back to Tiana and Fred as they popped a carrot into the snowman’s face. Fred stepped to the side, breaking a couple of branches off the hedges for arms. Would Fred pick up and leave for Tiana’s safety? Would he be as devastated as I was slowly becoming with no leads, no information, to put the threat to rest?
I pulled my phone from my pocket with nearly frozen and numb fingers. I could at least call the security team, check for any new updates. They were supposed to call me, but?—
My phone buzzed before I could make the call, the screen lighting up with wouldn’t you know it. Speak of the fucking devil.
I answered it without waiting a single second. “Any leads?” I asked, the chill beginning to sink into my bones. I sipped my coffee, warming my throat and coating my insides.
“Hi, Jackson, how are you? I’m great, thanks for asking.” Marsha, head of security. Always so snippy.
“I’m sorry. Hi. I’m shitty. Again, any leads?”
“Well, since you asked so nicely, it is my absolute honor to inform you that we found the original IP address. As I’m sure you’re aware, the sender was using a VPN, but we managed to get a hold of the VPN company and they agreed to work with us.”
The breath left my lungs in a thick cloud of air. “You found it.”
“We did, indeed,” she chirped. I could hear the faint clicking of a mouse in the background, fading into near nonexistence as my sister squealed from being hit with a snowball. “It was sent from the Boulder Public Library.”
I lost my grip on the mug. It fell forward, off the edge of the railing and down one story, shattering against the cement floor of the back porch and making Tiana scream. “Surveillance video. We need the surveillance video, Marsha.”
“I know. We’re on it, but you know how government moves, they’re slow as shit. If it was a private business we could have it by tomorrow, but unfortunately, we just have to wait,” she sighed. “But we will get to the bottom of this, Jackson. We’ll find them. There’s a lot more hope now than there was yesterday.”
I simultaneously wanted to scream in frustration and celebrate the breakthrough. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, finding nowhere to run, snaking up my spine instead and making me feel jittery. An overload of nerves and panic mixed with excitement. “Thank you.”
“Of course. We’ll be in touch as soon as we get the video footage.”
She hung up before I did, leaving me in the silent snow, half frozen , and on my way to a panic attack. We would figure this out. We had to. If we couldn’t, if we hit a brick wall, it would all be for nothing. The move to Boulder, getting Mandy back, loving her…all for nothing.
I couldn’t let that happen.
Tiana shouted something up at me as I pulled my phone from my freezing skin, the brightness nearly blinding in the low light. A text from a number I hadn’t saved but still recognized filled my screen, and I stared at it, my eyes barely agreeing to focus through the haze of endorphins.
Unknown Number: You know she deserves better than this.
Unknown Number: You can’t just hurt her again and again and expect it to be okay. I’m not going to let you. Leave her alone for her own sake.
Fucking Harry.
Anger rippled through and joined the goddamn party of stressful emotions tearing me up inside. What authority does he think he has?
I shoved my phone into my pocket, huffing out one final puff of fog. I could put him on the back burner for now.