Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Zora
Zack was born a week past his due date, happy and healthy, with Harry holding my leg up and telling me how incredible I was as I pushed and yelled and sweated more than I thought possible.
He was born screaming, pink and angry. Beautiful.
The last five months had been a perfect blur of falling deep in love and planning the future with Harry.
It was a future without my family in it, but I’d created my own new one.
I thought of Victoria often, imagining her rubbing my belly or helping me choose a pushchair or paint colors or whatever.
It made me sad, sure, but having her in my life again felt impossible.
Watching Harry hold his son for the first time was up there with the most magical moments of my life. The tiny boy looked so fragile in his brawny arms, swallowed up and so safe. Protected by his father in a way that had me wanting to squeeze out a few more.
One of the biggest surprises of the last few months was Harry buying a house.
A small place that we spent every spare moment DIYing back to liveable, but it was ours.
By no means a mansion, falling smack bang in the middle of make the best of it territory, but ours.
Cluttered, warm, home. I’d moved in with him almost right away, seeing no point in delaying what we were both feeling. Rash, but right.
I worked in a busy cafe until my due date, and would be doing an online education course until Zack was old enough for nursery.
It was a wild life, a new one, but it was mine because Harry was in it.
I think I knew from the second I laid eyes on him he would be important. Even when we were faking a scene, strangers exchanging a service.
“Hey, hot stuff,” Harry said, stepping into the garden with two cups of tea. Zack was asleep in his cot, the baby monitor at my side for the first sign of any grumbling. A rare moment of peace for us.
“Hi, gorgeous,” I said back, accepting the tea and a peck on the cheek. We sat in the quiet for a while, listening to the sounds of the surrounding city. Shouting, sirens, laughter — it all blended together.
“How you doing?” Harry asked after a while. There was a forlornness in the air sometimes, the desire to call Vicky, to show off Zack to her, to see them together; it ate at me as Zack grew. I wanted her here. But life goes how it goes, and I was happy.
I decided to mess with Harry instead, not let my mood bring down his; after all, today was an important one. “Horny.”
He snorted his tea and laughed. “When are you not horny?”
“When six weeks go by with no sex. Well, no full sex. I’m not horny then because I’m too busy being exhausted.”
He snickered at me again. “That makes no sense.”
“Harry,” I said his name as plainly as I could. “Think about what I’m trying to tell you here.”
He looked at me, expression blank.
“Zack is six weeks old, Harry.”
Slowly, Harry’s face shifted and transformed.
I’d made him not touch my tits the entire time too, making sure my flow was what Zack needed, that nothing we did would mess it up.
I got the all-clear from the doctor this morning, that it wouldn’t make a difference now, that Zack’s feeding was established and everything was going well. I’d healed up as I should.
“I am so ready to fuck your brains out,” I said, standing up and looking down at my man.
He looked distraught then, something I was not expecting, and the mood I was trying to create shattered.
Like a slap in the face, I felt hideous, gross, disgusting, misguided.
A million destructive emotions rocketed through me, and it was all I could do not to turn myself inside out and simply fade away.
Having a baby fucked your self-esteem right up.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, stepping away and almost falling over the small table we had out here. “Uh, oh… god.”
Harry jumped up, slamming his mug down so hard I was surprised it didn’t shatter. “No no no!” he spat out in a hurry. “No, god. I want you so much it hurts, baby.” He winced. “It’s just…”
A knock on the door startled me, making me jump as I looked from Harry toward the front, and back again. What the hell was going on?
“We have a visitor.”
My brow furrowed as I waited for him to elaborate, my heart racing.
“Go see.”
Zack stirred as I walked through the house, and Harry promised to see to him while I answered the door. His smile was soft as we parted at the bottom of the stairs.
My mind whirled with hope at who it could be, the silhouette familiar. When I opened the door and found Victoria there, giving me a weak smile, my heart unsqueezed.
“Hey, mama,” she said, though it was a bit stiff.
“Vicky,” I sighed. “Hi.”
“So, obviously, it was stupid hard to get over what happened.” Victoria sat on our sofa, rocking Zack back to sleep after a good feeding and a burp.
She was a natural at taking care of her nephew already, and my heart warmed at the sight.
It’s what had been missing all this time.
“But I read all your emails, spent ages reflecting, and though you fuckers went about it in the weirdest way possible, I think it’s okay. I wasn’t in love with Harry.”
Harry stiffened beside me, but nodded. He’d said as much before, that he thought he might be a filling for a hole in Victoria’s life, rather than the perfect man.
For the first few weeks, I’d sent her a million emails, explaining myself, apologizing and begging her to talk. I’d been pathetic, probably so insistent I made it worse, but I couldn’t help myself. She was staying with my parents after all, and there was no way in hell I was going there again.
“I’m still so pissed at you, and there is a long damn road ahead, but I didn’t want it to be the end.
” Victoria looked at me. “When Harry reached out to me a few days ago to let me know Zack was okay, that I had a nephew and that you were sad, I decided enough was enough. There’s a great deal of penance owed here, but I’m willing to try. ”
“Thank you,” I muttered, gratitude making me want to cry, the relief rocketing through my body.
Victoria looked between Harry and me, studying the way we were with each other.
He kept his distance, and the space between us was strange, unusual now.
We were almost always touching in some way, unable to stop ourselves with a hand on the other’s leg, or his fingers toying with my hair, never apart for long.
But with Victoria here, an unnatural barrier formed.
“I’m not going to stay. Not for long,” she said then, her face dropping a fraction, the pain clear, but the strength clearer. “I’ll be in touch to babysit this little guy, but I need time for everything else.”
“Of course,” I said, melting with gratitude. The fact that she was working at forgiveness was more than I could ever ask for. She was such a gem. Through everything I’d done to her, my trust in her never wavered.
She carried Zack to his cot, and we listened as she hushed him through the baby monitor, muttering a sweet tune as he groused.
Harry and I watched each other through all of it, my eyes wide and his brow furrowed. This might be okay, after all. We might not have to suffer forever for our actions.
We muttered our goodbyes when she came back downstairs, Zack fast asleep, and the relief between Harry and I was enormous. What we’d done to her had been a heavy weight on us, and a little of it had lifted now.
“My god,” I said, sinking into the sofa with a smile on my face. “That for sure could have gone worse.” I looked at Harry as he stood before me. “Thank you.”
He sank to his knees, pushing my legs apart to settle between them, my thighs bracketing his torso. “I’d do anything for you,” he told me. “Awkward conversations are the least of it.”
I believed him too. He’d proven that again and again. From the moment we met, our lives had been in upheaval. It’s like Zack rooted himself inside me just to bring us together, to force this inevitability. And that’s how it seemed — inevitable.
“I love you,” I said then, cupping Harry’s cheeks and bringing him in for a sweet kiss.
As ever, his body responded with an urgency, and his fingers began to drift over me, stroking any bare skin he could find.
My belly clenched when he skirted over my covered tits, and he groaned when he found stiff nipples.
“God, I want to fuck you,” he muttered against my lips. These days, it always had to be hard and fast, snatched moments between routine. Speedy shower blowjobs or pussy eating that was often interrupted.
But I needed him too. “Sit down,” I demanded, shuffling to stand so he could take my place.
He watched me with a wide-open grin as I made quick work of his pants, shucking them off and flinging them behind me. I wore a dress, so slid out of my underwear with ease and kicked them to the side.
Harry was already hard, holding his straining cock up for me. I observed him for a moment as he worked himself, running one of his big hands up and down his shaft, his balls bobbed, and I just had to taste.
He was surprised when I landed on my knees and spat on his cock, but he didn’t stop jacking off, instead used my saliva for an easier ride. I sucked his balls into my mouth, one at a time, licking and rolling them over my tongue while he suppressed a loud groan.
We’d got good at being quiet.
I chuckled to myself when he released a moan then swore as I grazed my teeth gently over the loose skin of his sack.
“Holy shit, Zora,” he whimpered. “I need you sitting on my cock right the fuck now.”
“Mm,” I said, still playing with his balls, flicking my tongue over the seam, enjoying how they bounced in my face when he fucked his fist. “I quite like it down here.”
“Now, Zora.” He was more demanding this time, and leaned forward to scoop me up and plonk me onto his lap. My thighs fell on either side of his, and my pussy sat on the length of his cock, the tip pressing at my clit.
I ran myself up and down it, enjoying the way his shaft felt tunneling through my labia, thumping against my clit. “Jesus,” I whined.
“Let me get inside you now,” he begged, his muscles all tense, his jaw feathering as he worked to hold himself back.
I freed my tits from my nursing bra and lifted my legs, sinking down on him, moaning when he began to stretch me, fill me all the way up.
It had been so damn long since we’d been able to have full sex, since I’d had his cock deep inside me.
We both let out quiet groans when he was fully seated inside me, and for a moment we just enjoyed it.
My body ran shivers up and down my spine, and I leaned down to kiss him.
As I began to bounce my hips, he cupped my ass, encouraging the speed. We didn’t have long, and we needed this. Before we knew anything about each other, we were good at sex. We were connected and in sync. That hadn’t changed.
“Oh, shit,” Harry moaned, leaning himself back a little to look down. My tits had begun to leak, a steady stream of milk dripping onto his chest. “Can I?” he asked, running his fingers through the puddles on his stomach.
“God, please,” I whimpered, and he surged up, latching on. When I asked the doctor about it, she said my body would keep up with demand, but to hold off at first, so we hadn’t done this much either. Just the occasional suck or lick here and there.
Harry pulled my entire nipple into his mouth, his lips working, his tongue massaging the underside as streams of milk poured onto his tongue, he gulped it all down, still fucking up into me, drawing such a deep pleasure from my body I almost couldn’t contain myself.
My other tit leaked in earnest, soaking into his hair so that he had to keep swapping between them, keeping up with their flow.
“This is fucking delicious,” he groaned. “A dream come fucking true. There’s so much more now.”
With my tits in his face, he was free to touch me elsewhere, and his fingers found my clit, rubbing rough circles as I fucked him and he sucked me.
When I felt the first ebb of my orgasm, I didn’t try to hold off. Quick and dirty was the name of the game here. “Harry, I’m close,” I told him.
“Oh god, me too…” he said before diving back into my tits, drowning himself in my milk, letting it spill over his face, down his neck and onto his body. I braced myself on his shoulders and slammed my hips down, everything beginning to peak.
I came with an unmanageable shout, pleasure making my skin tingle, my vision darken, my heart patter fast. With my body lax, Harry took over, fucking up into me a few more times before coming too, flooding me with his cum, his pulsing cock filling my pussy up.
Then we collapsed. My head fell onto his shoulder, his arms wrapped around my back, and we just sat there, sticky, sweaty, breathing heavy, enjoying still being connected, a quiet moment just for us.
“Goddamn woman, I love you,” he whispered, stroking my spine.
“I love you, too,” I said back, my voice muffled by his neck. My energy was zapped, and I just wanted to stay like this, fall asleep wrapped up in my man’s arms.
But of course, the shriek of the baby pulled us from our moment, and we both groaned.
“I’ll go,” Harry said, bracing to move.
“No,” I said, sitting up and stopping him. “You need to shower. I’ll go.”
Harry looked down at himself and laughed. He was absolutely covered in milk. Sticky streaks of it lined his torso, and it was beginning to crust up in his hair. “Fucking hell.”
I grinned. “I’ll get him settled and meet you in the shower.”
As I darted off, quickly pulling my underwear on to stop his cum dripping down my leg, he gave my ass a slap.
“See you in there,” he said with a big grin.
Of course, I didn’t. Zack took forty-five minutes to settle, and by the time he was asleep, so was Harry, his handsome face tipped away from the light, his arms open for me to slip into.
And I did. I nestled in with him, content. Happy.
A perfect fit.