Chapter Ten #2
Cross's brother's deep voice cuts through my mental anguish and abruptly drags me into the flow of pack communication.
He spoke with his words, but the feeling of the words is loud in the sudden current of the feel of every member of the pack.
I can't pick out the individual threads the way Cross can, but I can feel the whole of them.
The feeling is a tightly woven nightmare of hope and dread and it makes me a little nauseous.
“I was called,” is my simple reply.
“Yeah,” Robbie says. “I know. But you didn't have to come. Everyone would have understood if you didn't.”
“I was called,” I repeat. “So I came. This is my pack.”
Robbie nods. “Yeah. She's here.”
“I know.”
He nods again, looking toward the pack house. “Have you seen Cross yet?”
I fight to keep my dread off of my face. “I'm hoping not to, to be honest. I don't think seeing me will help the situation.”
He looks at me for a long moment, taking in every inch of my worn presence. “Maybe, maybe not. He's not the same. He's doing this because it's necessary. Everybody knows where his heart is.”
“That's why he doesn't need to see me. He knows I'm here. That's enough for the bond, ours and the pack's.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he repeats.
“Can you not?” I ask, rolling my eyes. “You might be the next Seer, but you're just Cross's little brother to me, and that mystical ominous shit is obnoxious.”
He laughs and reaches forward to squeeze my shoulder. “I'm glad to see you, Parker. You should come around more.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Sure.”
“I mean it. It would be a good thing.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” I give his words back to him with a small smile. “I'm going to go see my mom before everyone starts gathering. I'll say goodbye before I leave when this is over.”
“You better.”
I don't get a chance to go to the house I grew up in to see my mother.
She finds me first and makes such a scene that other people start crowding around us to say hello.
It's overwhelming. Everyone's words are friendly, if a little too sympathetic.
It grates on me in the worst way and within minutes, I truly regret coming back.
Mom is the first to notice the wild look in my eyes.
“Alright people, that's about enough sharing. I haven't seen my son for over a year and he comes home thin as a rail. I'm taking him home for a decent meal.”
The crowd lets loose their hold on me and I let Mom pull me in the direction of home.
“Sorry about that, honey,” she says softly. “I was just so happy to see you. I didn't think everyone else would want to see you, too. You are skinny. Don't you eat out there?”
“I eat, Mom,” I assure her. “Promise. I hunt all the time.”
She stops in her tracks and turns sharply around to face me. “Hunting isn't the same as eating, Parker. Are you eating?”
“I eat. Don't worry.”
She huffs and continues pulling me down the way. “That's all I do. That's all you'll let me do. I know you're not a little boy anymore, but it's still my job to look after you. Especially since no one else, including you, will do it.”
My beautiful, wonderful, amazing mother shoves me down into a chair at the kitchen table when we get to her house and puts a plate in front of me.
A plate full of the very meal I last ate at this table stares at me, making my mouth water.
Unlike last time, it's warm, as if she's just pulled it from the oven. I don't even use a fork.
“You may live like an animal out in those woods, Parker, but you will eat like a man.” Mom hands me a napkin and a fork.
“Sorry,” I mumble with my mouth full of spaghetti.
“Have you seen him?” she asks, and I shake my head.
“She's here,” she continues.
I swallow. Loudly. “I know. I'm here because I was called.”
“He needs you, Parker.”
I sigh so heavily that it feels like the floor might rise up around me. “He needs a Luna. He needs this pack.”
“And what do you need?” she insists.
“I need everyone to be okay.”
She doesn't argue again, but I can tell she wants to.
“Will you stay after the ceremony?”
I shake my head and take another bite of food. “I can't,” I say with my mouth full again.
She nods, but a somber expression takes her. “Parker, when you see him... I don't …“ She cuts off with a sigh of her own.
I put down the fork. “What?”
She glances at the door like she's afraid someone might be listening.
“Mom. What?”
“He's changed since you've been gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“He can't tolerate his rut. And he especially can't tolerate her... “
I don't want to talk about Cross's sex life with my mother. I really don't. “Her heats. Yeah. I know. That's why I had to go. But they'll be mated tonight and it will be over.”
“He hasn't seen her yet.”
My mouth drops open. “What do you mean? How? They're mating tonight. How has he not seen her?”
Mom shrugs. “He hasn't. He didn't want to. The only reason this is even happening is because Alpha Cross made so many arrangements and promises. Drew is deteriorating, Parker. He isn't whole. He isn't well.”
“What do you mean?” My heart thuds painfully. This... I didn't expect this. I didn't think this would happen. It was supposed to be the opposite. He was supposed to get his shit together.
“They have to cage him, Parker,” she whispers.
“When he goes into rut?”
“And when she's in heat. It's dangerous not to.”
We thought about doing that before, but dangerous? To the pack? “How is he dangerous?”
She glances back at the door. “He nearly killed two enforcers.
He ran in the direction of her pack and they had to drag him back.
It was so bad. He cries when he's caged.
He howls silently. It's the most horrible thing I've ever heard or seen.
I tried to visit him, I thought I might be able to help. He isn't okay, Parker.”
That's not what was supposed to happen.
“He'll be alright now,” I assure her. “He'll mate with Eugenia and he'll be okay. Everything will be okay.”
“Will you go to him?”
“I hadn't planned on it.”
“You have to, Parker.”
I doubt that's a good idea.
The afternoon passes with visits from childhood friends and more food than I've eaten in forever. Alpha Cross even comes to my mother's house to see me. Everyone keeps asking if I'll go to Cross, but I still think that would be a terrible, irresponsible idea.
Cross knows I'm here. There's no way in the world he doesn't. And he hasn't come to me.
So, I take that as a sign to stay away. I'll watch their ceremony from a distance and then I'll slip away back into the forest. I'll come back for the next Summit, and by then everything will be settled and okay.
Maybe I'll even be able to work back into my position as Second.
Who knows? Anything is possible with enough effort.
The sun sets and everyone gathers again in the clearing.
I hang back to the side of the clearing, not within the crowd.
I don't want any attention tonight. If I could be invisible, I would be.
I still haven't seen Cross, and I hope I don't. I haven't seen Eugenia either, and I don't want to. I am here as part of my pack, nothing more. I will witness, and then I’ll get the fuck out of here.
The gathered crowd quiets and I look through the brush to find myself in direct sight of Cross's profile. His hair is longer and disheveled. His clothes sag on his frame. But he's still Cross. Then the worst thing happens.
He turns in my direction.
He doesn't see me and I duck behind a tree to keep it that way.
The crowd buzzes with another round of whispers and then it quiets itself again when Alpha Cross's voice rings out firmly across the clearing. “Tonight we welcome Pack Barrett to – “
“Hang on,” Cross interrupts. “Wait.” His father quiets and Cross continues. “Parker,” he calls, loudly and clearly.
My heart leaps into my throat, but I stay in the brush.
“Parker, I know you're here somewhere. You are still my Second. Come here.”
I swallow. I can't.
“Parker,” Cross, barks, every bit the alpha I know he is. “Come here.”
I take a heavy breath and force my feet to carry me through the trees and brush and into the clearing in front of him.
Cross looks at his father. “We can continue with the ceremony.” Then he looks straight into my eyes. “You stay right fucking there.”
I swallow again, but I nod.
Alpha Cross continues his speech, but I don't hear it. I'm too busy taking in every inch of Cross's gaunt and ragged face and form.
“I present Eugenia Barrett, heir of Pack Barrett and future Luna of Pack Cross.” Alpha Barrett's voice calls out, then the crowd parts and she's suddenly there.
She's older. Stronger. And somehow even more gorgeous than she was the last time. She's wearing a pale blue dress and her hair is tied up to show off her perfect neck and shoulders. She takes a few steps into the clearing and then stops when her eyes meet mine.
First they widen. Then they narrow into frozen slits. I watch her mouth form the word no. Her father urges her forward but she shakes her head and continues glaring at me.
I take a step backwards. I will leave. I won't cause a second rejection.
Cross's hand shoots out and wraps harshly around my arm. “Don't you dare leave me again.”
“Cross,” I say softly, never taking my eyes off of hers. “Drew. You have to claim her. She won't if I'm –“
“Do not leave me,” he snarls loudly enough for everyone in the clearing to hear. More than a few of them let out horrified gasps.
“Cross,” I try again, gently twisting my arm. “We can talk later. She's right there. Claim your Luna. For the pack.”
“No,” he growls. “Don't leave me again.”
Her eyes close and the salty scent of her tears is suddenly the loudest thing in the forest.
She turns on her heel and walks away without looking at me again.
“What have you done?” Alpha Cross hisses.
“I'm sorry,” I stammer. “I tried.”
Cross's hand tightens painfully. “You can not leave me again, Parker.”