Chapter Sixteen
Genie
The rules were made simple earlier in the day.
There is an abundance of prey on the grounds.
It doesn't matter what we go after, we just need to do it as a unit.
On the outside, this looks like a get to know your peers activity, but it doesn't feel right to me.
It seems like a terrible idea to throw a bunch of wolves who are unfamiliar with each other into a hunt without expecting at least some form of violence to break out, especially when prey is involved.
A simple run would have been a safer option.
None of us have bonds. We can't communicate with each other.
We'll have to rely on our literal animal instincts.
I understand the idea, but this really does seem like a dangerous idea.
I am the only female in my group, but that doesn't bother me.
I have taken point on more hunts and runs than most wolves because of my status.
I know of a few packs who treat their females like they're made of glass, but my pack isn't one of them.
Our females are just as fierce as our males.
Everyone has their own strengths to lend and I have always been a leader.
The others in our group are not leaders. All three are betas and happy to defer to either Parker or me. They stand behind us, waiting for us to lead them into the trees after the bell sounds to start the hunt.
Parker... Honestly, I don't know what he is or what he's doing.
He hasn't positioned himself in front of me or behind me, but he isn't quite beside me either.
As Drew's Second he has to be an enforcer at the very least, but his energy isn't as strong as an alpha's.
His wolf is beautiful, though. Rich brown fur with darker brown accents and a gracefully solid frame.
He'd be handsome in either form if he wasn't such a dick. It's really too bad.
The bell rings, loud and shrill, and most of the groups sprint into the trees without hesitation.
The three betas behind Parker and I glance between each other and at each of us, but they don't move an inch.
Parker looks at me and there's a pause before his amber eyes seem to roll before he takes one step toward the trees.
Nope. I'm not blindly following Parker into the forest.
Go.
Apparently my wolf is more than happy to follow his lead.
I hesitate, but she's in control now and she moves us forward to fall in place just behind him to the right. It feels natural. It almost feels good. And that makes me angry. This shouldn't feel good. It should feel offensive. He is offensive.
He is a good wolf.
I don't have a polite response to that. Instead of sulking or stewing, I allow myself to fade into the recess of this shared mind and give her full control. I trust her even if I don't trust him.
I have fallen into the habit of essentially only being vaguely and semi conscious of what's happening when I hand my wolf control.
I know I shouldn't. I know it's irresponsible and potentially dangerous, but I'm so tired.
There are so many choices to make and they're all heavy.
If I make the wrong choice for anything, I could ruin so many lives.
My family, my pack, depends on me to make the best decisions for our collective future.
It's wrong for me to let go of myself so freely, but I am exhausted.
I haven't talked about it with anyone, including the counselors here, but when Drew rejected me I lost part of myself and I have never been able to reclaim it.
I am so tired. I can't sleep, and even when I do sleep it's broken.
Sadness and exhaustion make it hard to breathe every minute of every day.
The only time I get any real rest at all is when I give myself over to my wolf.
There have been a few moments when my wolf almost made a catastrophically bad decision.
I managed to surface just in time to save us, but it was only a few times.
I have learned not to let myself fade too deeply when I'm approaching heat, though.
Recently, I can't allow myself to shift at all.
It's too dangerous. She almost let an enforcer from one of the neighboring territories claim us once, and that was enough for me to never put us in that position again.
Wolves might take human wants into consideration a large part of the time, but they are ruled by instinct.
Her instincts led her to present herself to a strong wolf with gorgeous traits and an acceptable status in his pack, which would be fine if our entire pack didn't depend on me making the right choice for our human halves as well as our wolves.
Sometimes things happen that pull me to the surface whether I like it or not.
Like right now. A large body knocks into me from the left and I snap into consciousness doused in startled irritation.
There is a trio of deer in a clearing before me, but that's nothing that would need my presence.
My wolf is more than capable of handling a single or group hunt with or without me, probably better without me to be perfectly honest.
I don't have to look to see who bumped into me.
Parker's scent is obnoxiously heavy. He leans into me again, barely more than a brush of fur, and I turn my head to glance at him.
He isn't looking at me. He's staring unblinking into the brush at the side of the clearing, not the deer.
I focus my attention there, lifting my nose to try to catch a scent of something important.
What I notice first is an absence of scent.
The three betas who are supposed to be part of our group aren't with us and I don't sense them close by.
A tendril of unease snakes up my spine and I instinctively lean into Parker before I can stop myself.
He gives me a nudge, but not to push me away.
A low growl vibrates in his throat and I strain my eyes to see what he's seeing.
I'm suddenly horrified to find myself wishing that I had a bond with him so we could communicate.
Two wolves rush from the place we're looking and one more darts from the side. All three run right past the deer. The deer bolt into the treeline, but there's no time to process it because all three wolves come charging towards us.
Parker plants his body in front of mine, snarling. One of the wolves hedges around to try to try to get into a position to come at us from behind. I turn, holding his gaze, until Parker and I are back to back.
These wolves aren't the three who are supposed to be in our group. I really wish that I was able to speak to Parker.
The situation dissolves as quickly as it appeared.
Almost as if it was planned, all three back off and slink back into the darkness.
As soon as their scents fade, Parker turns back to face me.
I don't need a bond with him to see the confusion and conspiracy festering in his eyes.
He lifts his muzzle to sniff the air and I do the same.
Nothing. All I can smell is him and the weakened scents of those wolves.
He looks back at me, and I look at him. Neither of us shift.
My wolf is no more inclined to give up control right now than I am to take it.
That was a very strange encounter for more than a few reasons.
That was a challenge. They backed off, but it was still a challenge.
And I doubt it was over the deer. I'm not familiar enough with the people here to recognize any of their scents with certainty, and I won't be able to ask Parker about them until after we shift.
Secondly, Parker put himself between me and real danger.
It's possible that he's chivalrous enough to do something like that anyway, but it feels more important than that.
I won't be asking him about that at all.
He nudges me and walks across the clearing in the direction of the place where the wolves came from.
I follow him. I don't know what this is, but I'm not stupid.
I don't know this forest or these people and I don't want to be alone.
My wolf is more than happy to go with him and that will be a conversation for later.
We search the area beyond the clearing. The only scents are wildlife and what I assume are the wolves who challenged us.
Wait.
There's one more.
I bury my nose into the soft grass, scenting deeply and allowing my wolf back into the forefront.
There was another.
Yes, there was.
Male. Older. Healthy.
I snort, drawing Parker's attention, and he comes over to scent the same area.
He draws in breath deeply, tilting his head from side to side as I keep watch.
After another thorough sniff, he lifts his head again, blinking at me.
He looks over his shoulder in the direction of the buildings that make up Recovery. I dip my head and follow him back.
When we approach the main grounds, he stops and faces me again. He huffs out a warm breath that warms the fur between my ears and then cocks his head to the side, waiting.
Waiting for what?
Oh. For me. This would be so much easier if we could speak to each other.
I turn away from him and start the process of coaxing my body to shift back into my human form.
My wolf, for the first time in a long time, isn't reluctant.
She leaps into the change and it's the first time in months that it isn't agonizing.
As soon as I'm finished, but before I turn back around, I hear the telltale sounds of Parker shifting.
When I turn to face him, he's glaring in the direction of the main grounds.
“Do you know who they were?” I ask.
“No.”
“Did you recognize the fourth scent? The older male?”
“No, but I will.”
I nod even though he doesn't see it.
“Genie.”
I give him my full attention and he looks down into my eyes with a look I don't want to see. Worry. And anger that isn't directed towards me.
“Don't say anything about this.”
I wasn't going to. “Will you tell Drew?”
He sighs. “Not just yet.”
“That was strange.”
“Very.”
I start to walk back, but he grabs my wrist. He drops it like it burned him as soon as I turn around. “What?”
“Do you know anybody here? Do you have any friends?”
“Not really.”
His mouth tightens for a moment. “Make at least one.”
“Yeah,” I laugh dryly. “I'll get right on top of that.”
“I'm serious. I can't watch over you. I have to watch over –“
“Cross,” I finish. “I know.”
He sighs and rakes through the hair on the back of his head. “No, that's not... Just try to find someone. And tell me if anything else like that happens.”
“Why?”
“Do you have to be so difficult all the fucking time? Just tell me if anything else happens. Fuck. And don't put anything into this. I have to look out for Cross.”
“Got it.” I say and march back to the courtyard to get my clothes.