Chapter Eighteen
Cross
Role of prey? What the fuck does that mean? How am I supposed to be prey for anything?
My door chirps with the entry code and Parker barges in with his own envelope in his hand. “Did you get one of these?”
I wave my note at him. “Apparently I'm pretending to be prey tonight. What about you?”
He blinks at me. “You got prey?”
“Yes. What did you get?”
“Prey,” he bites out. “How are you supposed to be prey? You're an alpha. You can't be prey.”
Shrugging, I drop the paper back onto my dresser and sit down on my bed. “It's not like we're actual prey. They're not allowed to kill us here, much less eat us.” I laugh at my horrible joke, but Parker doesn't crack a smile.
His brows fall into an angry line. “It's a test.”
“For what?”
He sighs and sinks down onto the bed next to me. “You. What happens if you can't shift? Are you going to let them run you down on two legs? What if they attack you like what happened to me last week?”
I haven't had enough time to properly think this situation through, but that is a problem. Any other time I wouldn't even worry about it. My wolf wouldn't allow us to be chased or caught. But if I can't call him forward? I don't know.
“You can't go,” Parker says firmly.
“I have to,” I counter. “I didn't go last week. It would look bad if I skipped out on this one.”
“You have to skip out on this one, Cross,” he insists. “You can't shift.”
Embarrassment fueled anger sizzles through me. “I can shift,” I growl. “It's just hard.”
He takes a breath before he responds quietly. “When was the last time you shifted?”
I don't answer. It hurts too much – both the truth of it and the reason for my last shift.
I don't want to have to tell Parker that the last time I was able to shift was months ago, or that the only reason I was able to do it was because Eugenia was in heat and my wolf wanted to go to her more than he wanted to avoid me.
I don't want to tell him that I'm terrified that he won't come back to me at all because I fought like hell to keep from going to her.
I only just got him back, I don't want to lose him again to my own weakness.
“When, Cross? How long has it been?”
“It's been a while,” I answer, both truthful and avoidant.
“Do you think you can shift tonight if you need to?”
Closing my eyes, I sigh and lay back onto the mattress.
Searching inside myself for my wolf has only gotten more difficult.
He is as elusive now as he has been for nearly a year, but I have to believe that if I was in true danger, if I truly needed him, he would come when I called; if only out of self preservation. “He'll come if I need him.”
Parker lays back next to me, his body closer to mine than I've felt in so long. His scent surrounds me and I breathe deeply to pull it inside me.
“I missed you,” I whisper. “I missed you so much.”
His finger brushes against mine between us. “I know. I missed you, too.”
***
“No.”
The word is a one-syllable decree. I will not be wearing a collar, and neither will Parker. Even if there wasn't even a hint of conspiracy here, the collars would be out of the option.
“They are a requirement of the program, Cross,” Dr. Langston explains calmly. “To keep things fair for everyone when alphas are involved in these types of activities."
While I understand that fairness, and might even agree with it, it's out of the question in this moment.
The predators have been sent away from the courtyard so the prey can prepare themselves.
None of us prey are very willing to wear a collar that prevents us from shifting.
Not a single one of us. It would put us at too much risk.
We wouldn't be able to defend ourselves or protect our peers.
“It's dangerous,” I argue. “The risk is too great. No.”
Dr. Langston gives me a patient smile. “There are far more prey than there are predators tonight. And the staff will be watching. You will be safe. Everyone understands the rules.”
I bark a laugh. “I don't care what they understand or what the staff will be doing. I am not wearing that collar and neither will Parker.”
“Cross, Drew, I can assure you...” he goes on to tell me all about how safe everyone will be tonight and whatever else, but I stop listening when I notice how hard Parker is concentrating on the crowd.
I look in the same direction he's looking but I don't see anyone of importance.
It's just the same people we've been here with for the past two weeks.
I let my gaze travel around the rest of the courtyard but I don't see anything or anyone who worries me.
There are no alarming or even interesting scents.
I can't see anything that would cause Parker to be on alert like this.
After another look around, I realize what it is. It isn't who is here, it's who isn't.
Eugenia isn't in the courtyard.
Eugenia isn't the prey tonight.
She's the hunter.
“I'll wear it,” I say, the decision coming suddenly.
“What?” Parker snaps, turning his full attention on me and the smiling counselor in front of us.
“It's only fair, right?” I repeat the words said to me a few moments ago.
Fairness isn't part of this particular equation.
If I wear that fucking collar then nobody, including Eugenia Barrett, will know that I'm here because I can't shift.
They will all think that the collar is preventing it and I can live with that because it's less damaging to me and my pack's status.
And my pride. It was my choice to reject her, but she's still unclaimed and she is supposed to be mine. The thought of her knowing how weak I am makes me want to vomit.
Another counselor claps their hands together to get everyone's attention before going over the last bit of information for the night.
“This game is just that, a game. The point of it is to allow you all to gain a different perspective on the hunt, yes, but also a different perspective on how an attack works. You will see things from a completely unique angle that is only possible in the setting Recovery provides. You will learn things about yourselves tonight that you never would otherwise. There is a strength in being on the weaker end of the spectrum. Understanding what those strengths are will teach you how to exploit them under different circumstances.”
“And what does it teach the predators?” a beta calls out. “What are they supposed to learn tonight?”
The counselor grins. “You'll find that out when you play the predators.
Now, you all have a different set of rules than they do.
Your ultimate goal for the night is to still be standing when the second horn blows.
I'm sure some of you will break off into groups and some of you will declare a singular defense. There are strengths and weaknesses with either of those choices, so choose wisely and remember that it was your choice. The collars prevent you from shifting to maintain the ratio of prey versus predator. There are always far more prey animals than there are predators, which is why there are so many of you in the courtyard. Your secondary goal goes beyond just surviving the night unscathed. Your second goal is to capture a predator. The only shared rule for both groups is that no one is to be truly harmed, and absolutely no one is to suffer loss of life.”
“Right,” another person yells out. “What if they get carried away in the hunt? What's to stop them from losing control and killing us? We can't shift. How are we supposed to defend ourselves?”
The counselor smiles again. “All I can tell you, Mr. Walker, is that you don't need to fret about that.”
Parker turns to me. “I will take this collar off and do whatever I need to do. Fuck this place and fuck this game. This is dangerous and I don't like it.”
“Do you think she'll come after us?” I ask, ignoring his declaration.
He snorts. “I would. If I was Genie, I would come at us so hard. And I doubt a collar or tranquilizer dart or anything else would stop me from turning me, in particular, inside out.”