18. Rory
RORY
He’s here.
He’s really here.
I was pretty sure I was seeing things because I was so sleep-deprived.
But, no, he’s really here.
I nuzzle closer.
“Are you still awake, little rabbit?” Lex purrs, and I nod. “Feeling better?”
I nod again and sit up so I can see him.
He looks adorably rumpled, not all put together.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the suits, but this is a side of him I doubt many people will ever see.
A grin curves up the corner of his mouth, and I realize I might have been staring, so I duck my head into his chest. He pulls me closer and chuckles.
“You can look at me, but I might ask to return the favor.”
Return the favor—?
My head shoots up at his words.
He wants to look at skinny, ordinary me?
One of his large hands wraps around my back, and he folds the other arm under his head, making his bicep bulge.
God, do I want this man. I mean, yeah, he’s the sexiest man ever, but he’s also sweet and concerned about my wellbeing. Which is why I want to have this talk before we take the next step. If that’s what he wants.
Please let it still be what he wants.
I swallow hard. My throat is still tight, but I think I’ll be able to get the words out now.
“So—” I clear my throat and try again. “Sometimes, when I get really scared, my voice leaves me.”
“Okay,” he responds and waits.
“It’s like my heart gets caught in my throat and I can’t form the words around it.”
“That sounds tough.” I nod. “Are there things you can do to help?”
“Not really. I just shut down.” I wince at the words. This man is so in control, and I’m an adult who can’t function like one.
“Shut down?”
“It’s like I’m in the middle of the highway, and I can’t get out of the way and everything is so loud and overwhelming. So I have to curl into a ball and wait until the traffic stops.”
“Does that help quiet things?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I just suffer in silence.”
“Are you familiar with the term ‘Little’?”
“Kinda. Like when there’s a Daddy who cares for the Little while he plays with toys.”
“Sometimes they play with toys, but it’s more about letting someone care for you in every way so you can just let go.”
“What you did before was nice. It made me feel safe, and I didn’t have to worry because I knew you would protect me.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I will.”
“But then I heard a loud noise, and I panicked again.”
“I’m sorry about that. I’ll be more careful.”
“No, I shouldn’t be so pathetic.”
“Rory.” His voice is firm. “I will not have you talking bad about yourself. You are not pathetic.”
“I know. But it’s hard to believe that.”
“I’ll just have to tell you until you believe me.”
“That could take a while, and you’ll—” I can’t finish. It’s bad enough that he knows I’m scared of my own shadow. Why would a man like him ever want a boy like me?
“Tell me what you were thinking just now.”
“It was nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me, boy. I’m an expert lie detector.” I huff a laugh. “Rory. Look at me, please.” I lift my head and see the serious look in his ice-blue eyes. “I can’t take care of you if I don’t know what you need.”
“You’ll get tired of taking care of me and having to hold my hand all the damn time.” I rush the words out.
A light swat to my ass has me gasping.
“My good boy doesn’t swear.” His stern Daddy voice has me thinking all kinds of naughty things.
“Sorry, Daddy.” I pout and not in the innocent way.
“Puppy-dog eyes have nothing on you, rabbit. But it’s okay this time. You didn’t know the rules.”
“I like rules.”
“Good because I’ll have a lot of rules.”
“Like what?”
“Well, rule number one is no bad talk about my boy.”
“And if I do?”
“Spankings.”
I shiver, but then I remember being hit. “Gentle spankings?”
“Absolutely. I never want to hurt you.”
Tears well in my eyes. How is he so sweet?
“I can try not to speak bad of myself, but you can’t spank half the country. I’m still a human-interest story.” I sigh. I’m so sick of the cameras and the yelling.
“As much as that pisses me off, you’re right. I can’t stop them from talking about you.”
“They have been talking more about the rapists getting a taste of their own medicine than me.”
He grins but admits nothing. “Serves them right. Rule number two. No swearing. Good boys don’t swear.”
“But I’m a grown-up,” I whine. “Sometimes you need naughty words.”
“Good boys don’t swear,” he repeats with more force.
“Okay, and the punishment?”
“Writing ‘I will not swear’ fifty times.”
“Fifty! That’s impossible.”
“Then don’t swear.” He winks at me, and I roll my eyes. “Rule number three. No rolling your eyes at Daddy… or more lines.”
“Okay.”
“And rule number four. Never lie to me. I need to be able to trust you. My life is very dangerous, and I need to know that you’re safe.
Don’t lie about where you’re going or who you’re with.
Don’t lie to me to protect yourself or someone else.
And don’t lie to make me happy. Anything that you need or that you think you might want, tell me.
I don’t want you to worry about bothering me or holding things in because I’m too busy. ”
“Okay, I’ll always tell you the truth.” I might just leave some things out.
He gives me a look that says he’s on to me, but he lets it go.
“Rule number five. I’ll kill anyone who touches you.” His eyes burn with raw power and fury, and I believe him.
Welcome back, stiffy. Wait!
“Not my brother, though.”
“Family is okay, but that’s it. I’m serious about this one, Rory. I’m very possessive of my things, and you are most definitely mine.”
“What if I don’t want to be yours?” I need to know how committed he is to me, to us.
“It’s too late, rabbit. I’ve already decided that you’re mine.”
“Good. Because you’re mine too. I’ve claimed you as my Daddy.”
“I’ve never been a Daddy before.”
“Really? But you said you knew.”
“I know in theory, but not in practice.”
“I’d be happy to be your first boy.”
“My only boy.”
I want to shout with joy, but then I try to tamp it down. This man wants me, for now. So I nod.
“I can see that you don’t believe my words, but I’ll prove it to you.” He rolls over so he’s on top of me now but not putting his weight on me. I think I want that, but I’m not sure.
“I trust you, Daddy, but I’m still scared.”
“Are you scared of me?” he asks, and his normally rock-solid expression looks worried.
“Of course not.” I brush my fingers over his forehead to push back his salt-and-pepper hair, but it just falls back. “I know you’d never hurt me.” Physically.
He just stares down at me for a moment like he’s trying to read my soul. I’m sure many people have cracked under his icy stare, but it warms me to be the center of his full attention.
“Never.” He kisses my forehead. “You should try to get some sleep.”
“No sleeping,” I whisper.
“We can just lie here and relax then. No sleeping.” His words are soft and supportive. He’s not upset with me. He just doesn’t want to upset me.
“I really want to sleep, but what if I go back there? I don’t want to remember—” Then I start to cry.
“Oh no.” He gathers me into his arms and pulls me tight to his chest. “I’m so sorry, rabbit.”
I hiccup and bury my face against him. “That’s why I have such trouble sleeping. They are always in my dreams.”
“Are you seeing a therapist?”
“Yes. She tells me it’s common with trauma like mine, but they should get less frequent over time.” The tears fall freely now. “But it seems like that will never happen. I’m so sick of being scared.”
“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You can let it out. I’m going to take care of you from now on. I’ll keep you safe, and I’ll chase the nightmares away.”
“I’m just so tired.” I sob into his chest and try to believe what he’s telling me. It would be so nice to let him handle everything. To have him keep me safe and let my brother get on with his life.
“I’m here, rabbit. I’m here. Just relax and let go. Daddy’s got you.”
My eyes slowly open, and I’m surprised to see how light it is outside. I guess sleeping with Lex wrapped around me really did help keep the nightmares away.
I nuzzle closer to him. His chest is so firm, and his nipples are tight peaks.
I just want to run my tongue over them, not suck on them, nope, just a quick lick.
The thought of his warm skin in my mouth has my dick reacting in a way it hasn’t for a while.
I move a bit closer, and that’s when I notice a tiny white droplet on top of one of his nipples.
I freeze.
What the hell?
Another droplet pushes out and the first slips down his chest and into his glorious silver chest hair between his pecs.
Is he lactating?
I didn’t even know men could do that, and why is my dick suddenly throbbing in my jammies?
I stare as more milk leaks from his chest, and I want it.
I want to suck him dry and lick up the puddle forming on his chest.
Would he let me?
I’d be such a good boy and take care of him.
“Good morning, rabbit.” Lex’s voice purrs in his chest, and I stop moving.
My eyes want to look up at his handsome face, but they’re stuck on his nipples.
He gasps and jumps out of the bed.
“Wait!” I shout and grab his arm, his other one covering his chest.
“I just need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“No,” I say firmly, and he looks over his shoulder at me with a raised eyebrow. “No,” I say again.
“Rory, I need to take care of something.”
“Your milk?” His head drops, his shoulders hunch, and it looks like he’s ashamed.
“It’s not normal. A man shouldn’t lactate,” he says sternly.
“Are you sick?” I ask, suddenly worried.
“No.” He sighs and bends to pick up a shirt which he presses to his chest. “It’s just embarrassing.”
“I can help…”
“How?”
“I’d love to suckle you. Even if you didn’t have milk.” It’s always been my favorite thing to do. Nothing makes me feel closer to a partner than that. Not that I’ve had many partners.
“I can’t ask that of you.”
“I’m offering.” He shakes his head, so I kneel up on the bed and press my body flush to his arm so he can feel what I think about it. The back of his fingers twitch against my erection. “Please, Daddy. Let me drink your milk.”