Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sawyer carried the large pot up onto the Collier cabin’s porch and called in through the screen door, “Amber?”
He was glad to be back there.
He’d gone home that afternoon and worked around his place, spending about three hours checking his trees and taking care of a few other chores. Then, he made a pot of stew. Enough for Amber to have a few meals out of that. She wouldn’t be going hungry on his watch.
“Hey!” she called out. “The door’s unlocked. Come on in.”
He didn’t like that and told her as much. “Amber, anyone could just barge in here with you leaving that door unlocked.” Not that the screen door would stop anyone even if it was latched securely, he realized. Maybe she should just have the heavy, wooden door closed and locked at all times, too.
“I would hear their car pull up, Sir. I heard yours.” She looked at him from the kitchen where she looked to be preparing dinner. “I’m not meaning to argue or be disrespectful, Sir.”
Sawyer was about to respond when the sight of the dinner she was prepping grabbed his attention.
There, on the table before where she stood, was a sleeve of crackers and a jar of peanut butter.
“Honey,” he said. “Is that all you’re eating tonight?”
He instantly regretted the question when a look of embarrassment flashed across the sweet Little’s angelic face. “It’s all I want,” she said, though she didn’t sound very convincing. “I have plenty. Just…” She shrugged and looked away, and Sawyer wondered if it was to hide the fact that a tear was sliding down her cheek.
“Well, I brought this big ol’ pot of stew. I always make too much and end up throwing some away.” He walked to the stove and sat it on there. “But if you just want the crackers, no pressure.” He fired up the burner beneath the pot so it could heat for a few minutes.
“It smells delicious!” she said a moment later. “I’d love a bowl, Sir. If you’re sure you have enough.”
“Enough?” he replied. “You’ll be eating on this for days if you want to. I will, too. I saved some for myself at home. You’d be doing me a favor by taking this off my hands. I also brought some cans of vegetables. They’re in the back of the Bronco. I’ll grab ‘em in a bit.”
“Like, from the store?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I grow my own stuff and can it. Gets me through until the next harvest. I have a bunch extra, so I’d appreciate it if you took it off my hands, too.”
He turned around to look at her and that’s when, for the first time, he noticed what she was wearing.
The pretty pink frilly dress he’d bought her. The matching ruffled panties were slightly visible, too, and he felt his stomach muscles clench tightly as desire swirled in his core.
He’d been so caught up in the fact that the front door had been unlocked, and by her measly meal, that he hadn’t even paid attention to her outfit.
But he sure saw it now.
Damn, the little cutie looked so stunning he was almost swept off his feet. It had been a long time since a woman had given him that reaction. Now, it felt both good and… scary.
He was laying it on thick with Amber. There was no stopping himself, it seemed. Bringing her food, buying her the outfits and the stuffie. It was as if he couldn’t control those impulses to care for her.
Those Daddy impulses.
But could anything come of it? He’d screwed up so bad the first time he’d tried this. Was it worth trying again?
Those questions would have to be pondered later. Right now, it was all he could do to stay upright, because the cuteness he saw standing before him was still threatening to knock him over.
Trying to recover and not make a complete fool of himself, he stiffened his back and said, “Let me get you some stew. Where are the bowls?”
“Right there, Sir,” Amber replied, pointing to a cabinet beside the refrigerator.
“You know, I appreciate how respectful you are, but you don’t have to call me Sir . We’re friends, Amber. You can just call me Sawyer if you’d like.” He cast a reassuring glance over his shoulder to ensure she didn’t think he was getting onto her. “But you call me whatever makes you comfortable.”
She grinned and nodded.
I’d like you to call me Daddy , he thought as he pulled two bowls from the cupboard. Did he really want that, though? Was he ready to take that leap again?
Right now, he’d just enjoy his time with Amber. Whatever was going to happen would happen.
“Oh, I need to set a place for Honey and Jazzie!” Amber said as she hurried to where her stuffies were.
“Walk in the house. Don’t run,” Sawyer told her sternly. “There are a lot of things in here you can trip over or run into. You’ve had enough close encounters today.”
The Little obeyed.
As she carried her plush dolls back to the table, she said, “That thing with the pickup was sure scary. I’m sorry you had to put yourself in danger to rescue us.”
Sawyer smiled, knowing the us she referred to was her and Honey.
“It’s no big deal,” he said. “Just don’t be going for any more joyrides.”
“Yes, Sir!”
Once Honey and Jazzie were seated in their own spots at the table, Amber and Sawyer sat down, but he didn’t stay in his chair long.
“I forgot the bread,” he said. “Be right back.”
He went out to the Bronco, got the loaf he’d baked earlier, and brought it in where he unwrapped it on the table. “I’ll cut you off some.”
Once they had the bread, they dug in.
“Sorry all we have to drink is water,” she said.
“It’s what I drink most of the time,” he replied. “In fact, I know a place on my property where there’s a fresh spring. The sweetest water you’ve ever tasted.”
“Really?”
“Yep. I found it one day when exploring.”
“How big is your property?”
It took a moment before he answered, finishing the bite of stew that was in his mouth. “I own a hundred and eighty acres outright. I lease another sixty that’s connected to it.”
Amber held a spoonful of stew to her lips, blew on it, and then ate it before asking, “What all do you do on the land, Sir?” She smiled with a giggle. “I mean Sawyer.”
Looking at her from across the table, Sawyer grinned wide as he drank in the sight of her. Damn, she was just about cuteness overload.
“Well, I told you about my tree farm.”
“With Christmas trees!”
“That’s right. But not just Christmas trees. I can’t compete with the big logging operations around here. Lot of ‘em are corporate. About drove the little guys like me out of business. I do some lumbering, selling my wood mostly to small businesses or craftsman that are looking for something specific. But I also grow trees for folks to take home plant in their own yards and such.” He paused then added, “Then there’s the farming.”
Amber took a drink of water and said, “Do you grow a lot?”
“Grew all the vegetables in this stew,” he answered proudly. “Hunted for the game, too.”
“Wait! Everything in this comes from… you?” She cocked her head to one side.
He offered a little nod. “I guess you could say that. In a way. Came from the land. And the land and I have an understanding, if you will.”
He watched as she spooned another bite of stew into her mouth. The look on her face told him she enjoyed it, a fact he was proud about.
Why?
He took a lot of pride in his work and in his life. But with Amber, it was a different feeling that went beyond the satisfaction of a job well done, hard labor, and ethical practices. Now, he’d provided for Amber. Had taken care of her. It was a feeling unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, even in past relationships.
Something was different here. And it felt… right.
They continued to talk through dinner, with Sawyer trying to learn as much about her as possible without sounding nosy. It wasn’t that he wanted to pry. He just felt as if he needed to know. She was… something… to him now. Their lives were intertwined, and with each passing moment, a growing hope made him desire that they stay that way.
Yet when the conversation was over, he knew some facts but had the impression she’d sugarcoated a few things. Amber didn’t seem to be secretive. She just didn’t want him feeling sorry for her, he suspected.
He didn’t press, either.
Could be that some memories were just too painful to discuss. There was no way he would try and force it upon her.
But he got a taste of her past once they’d finished cleaning up supper and she said, “You’ll never believe what I found! Come look!” She grabbed his hand and tugged on his arm, pulling him into the living room.
Just that simple touch had fireworks erupting inside him.
What’s going on with you, Sawyer? You’re getting outright giddy like a damn junior high student or something.
In the living room, she rushed to the cabinet that the old TV rested on and opened it. She looked as if she was revealing a rare treasure.
“A VCR,” Sawyer said.
“Yep!” she replied with excitement.
For a moment, he thought she was going to laugh and talk about how outdated the tech was. Instead, though, she grabbed a tape from a stack beside the machine and said, “Look! They have Disney movies! Want to watch Snow White with me?”
He nodded. “You know how to work that thing?”
“Of course!” she said, squatting down to feed the tape in. “Back in the group home I lived in—well, one of them—they had a VCR.”
That’s when it hit Sawyer: the tech wasn’t outdated to her. It was familiar. All she knew. She’d most likely be more lost in the world of Blu-ray players or, more accurately now, streaming.
Wearing a smile, he told her, “I’d love to watch it with you.”
“Yay! We can sit on the couch with Honey and Jazzie. I bet they’ll love this movie.”
Sawyer watched as she got her stuffies, started the movie, and then sat on the couch close to him.
He wanted her to be closer.
Should he reach out and pull her to him? That would be too much, too quickly. What if she felt like she couldn’t say no? He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or put her in an awkward situation. So, he kept his hands in his lap, fighting those urges.
The previews started, and he chuckled.
“I remember those days,” he said. “You either sat through the ads or fast forwarded them.”
“The trailers are my favorite part!” she said. “They show me what to watch next.” She shrugged. “We didn’t get many movies, but sometimes, I’d see a trailer for one and walk to the library and check it out for everyone.”
He could picture a younger Amber doing just that—walking alone, who knows how far, just to check out a free movie for her and the other kids in the home.
He was about to ask her what some of her other favorites were when she sprang up urgently from the couch and said, “I have to go brush my teeth!”
“Okay,” he replied, a bit puzzled. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just almost forgot. Crap!”
He watched as she hurried down the short hall, disappearing into the bathroom. She came back a few minutes later, seemingly more relaxed.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked again, eying her as she walked toward him.
“Yeah. Sorry. That may have been kinda weird.” She sat down, this time a bit closer, and propped an elbow on the couch’s back cushion and brought her fist to her head to support it as she looked at Sawyer. “So, I have this thing where… I have to brush my teeth as soon as I eat. I’m paranoid my teeth are going to go bad and… you know… I don’t really have money to see a dentist. And I sure don’t have any kind of insurance. So… I have to keep up with them so I don’t need to worry about it. Does that make sense?”
It made perfect sense, and it broke his heart. He swallowed the lump in his throat and prayed the sorrow he felt for her harsh life wasn’t etched all over his face.
Her smile returned and in an instant, she was back to her cheery, positive self, saying, “Are you ready to watch the movie?”
“You bet,” he replied.
His mind was racing, though. Her can-do attitude masked a lot of pain, he realized. He wondered just what all she’d been through in life.
Perhaps he’d find out one day. Right now, though, she was safe, with him, and at peace.
Maybe he could make sure she stayed that way.