Chapter Fifteen #2
There was laughter, and Big Dick looked toward the main doorway where Larissa, his mother, and Harlow carried out some drinks.
Larissa looked happy. That was all he wanted to see.
It hurt that he wasn’t the one capable of making her happy right now.
He was trying to alleviate her stress, to be there for her.
“I’ve just got to get some air,” he said.
He knew Larissa didn’t really need him by her side helping her through this. His family would surround her with loving arms and give her everything she needed. Especially where he couldn’t.
Stepping out into the yard, he had every intention of just grabbing some air.
For some odd reason, he didn’t just stay on the main porch, but found himself walking down to the bottom of the yard.
It was strange, he could not recall coming here any other time since Harlow’s disaster of a birthday party, where no one turned up.
His mother had called him in a state, because time had arrived and not a single person had come to Harlow’s birthday party.
He’d been running behind and was waiting in line at the old bakery for a birthday cake.
This was long before Ava arrived. When the bakery was not the best, and sometimes even offered burnt or underbaked cookies.
The birthday cake had been cool, though.
Coconut icing around a tropical cake. He’d given his mom the cake without a word and made his way down to this very tree house.
He looked up at the old tree house, and just for old times’ sake, climbed up and sat on the edge.
There were a lot of creaks. The wood looked old, like it was going to fall down at any minute, and there was a thick layer of green moss along the outside.
He was going to need to build his son or daughter a tree house.
He was going to need to find a place to actually have a damn tree house.
Over the years he rented apartments, sporadically. Once he got a room at the clubhouse, he came to realize renting apartments was a waste of time because he never stayed in them. There was no way he was going to take a woman to his place, as that would mean she would read too much into it.
He couldn’t allow Larissa and his kid to stay at her father’s forever. Although, that seemed like the plan for now. She was going to need a home for herself. A place to live. A life of her own. Their own.
“You all right up there?” Harlow asked, startling him.
He glanced down to see he was so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t even seen Harlow had snuck up the garden.
“Yeah, I’m all right.”
She reached up as if to climb.
“Harlow, you really shouldn’t in your condition,” he said, climbing down.
His sister pouted, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.
“Don’t go crying like that. You’ve got a baby to consider.”
She sighed and put her hand on her stomach. “Not long to go now. You know, I’m supposed to give birth around Christmas.”
“I know,” Big Dick said. “Hunter told us all more than once.”
“I bet that pleased you.”
“I don’t mind Hunter. He is a dick, but at least he takes care of you.”
Harlow smiled. “He does.”
“You don’t want to kick my ass right now?”
Harlow sighed. “I spoke to Carlos.”
“What is it with everyone speaking to Carlos?”
“You mean you haven’t?” Harlow asked.
“That’s not the point,” he said.
“So you have spoken to Carlos.”
“Yeah, I spoke to him.”
“And you don’t believe him?” Harlow asked.
“You’re asking a lot of questions.”
“You’re my big brother, and I hate to say this, but it seems you’ve got your head right up your ass about this.”
He sighed. “I’m not getting into this.”
“You’re in love with Larissa,” Harlow said.
Big Dick turned to look at his sister. He didn’t say a word.
“That’s okay. It can suck a little when you realize you’re in love with someone who might not love you back.” Harlow sighed.
“You’re not being very comforting right now.” Big Dick spotted a couple of old plastic chairs. They had once been white but were covered in a layer of dirt. He wiped off some old leaves and placed one for Harlow to sit.
“Thanks,” Harlow said. “You don’t need me to be comforting. That is not who you are, George. You need me to be real with you.”
He pulled up another chair and took a seat. Larissa was going to get as big as his sister one day. This pregnancy was scaring the crap out of him. Running a hand down his face, he couldn’t help but feel that pull of wanting his woman. Larissa was his, even if right now she didn’t know it yet.
“Here’s the thing, George, Larissa loves you.”
He turned his head to look at his sister. “No, she doesn’t.”
“Ugh, you men are a pain in the ass. Why do you think it hurts her so much? Why do you think she is cutting you out of her life, or attempting to? Because it hurts. She loves you, and regardless of the truth of that damn bet, it hurt her. Just like when Hunter broke up with me, it shattered me. I loved him so much, which is why it hurt. If I had absolutely no feelings for him, it wouldn’t have mattered.
Think about it, she loves you, and she couldn’t even imagine you hurting her like that, so when it happened, she couldn’t handle it. ”
“What do you suggest I do?” Big Dick asked.
“Keep trying. Keep being there. Keep fighting. It is all you can do.” Harlow reached out and put a hand on his thigh. “It’s not for nothing. She’s the mother of your child, George. Don’t lose hope.”
“Since when are you the voice of reason?” Big Dick asked.
Harlow put her hand on her stomach. “Have you not heard? This is like a magic spell. I’m all great and knowing now. Mothers know best and I am going to enjoy every single second of it.” She winked at him. “Just as I know that I’m getting cold and I need to go and warm up. Talk to you soon?”
“Yeah.” She kissed his cheek and he watched as she walked away.
He felt the cold, but right now, he wasn’t interested in making his way inside. He just needed to sit and process everything. Was it possible that Larissa might still love him? Could he even get his hopes up to wish for something as magical as that? He wanted to.
“You all right?” Erick asked, coming toward him.
Now, this did surprise him. Out of all his brothers and even Harlow, Erick rarely came down to the tree house. Most of the time, he figured it was because Erick felt like he was too good for all of them.
“What are you doing here?” Big Dick asked.
Erick held his hand up and then sighed. “I saw you leave and then Harlow, then Harlow come back.” He shrugged. “I figured you needed some air.”
“You actually thought right.”
He watched Erick as his brother looked up toward the tree house. “You know, I always wanted to be part of this. I wanted to try and get inside that damn tree house.”
Big Dick frowned. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Erick laughed. “I guess you don’t know this, but I’m afraid of heights.”
“Wait? What?”
That laughter turned nervous as Big Dick got to his feet.
“You’re kidding me right now?” he asked.
“No. I tried when no one was around to get up into the tree, but yeah, it scared me.” Erick pressed his hands together and then let them go.
“You never said anything.”
“You were never around and neither was Harlow. There was no way I was going to tell you all that I was shitting myself about climbing up the tree.”
Big Dick looked at Erick, and then felt like a shitty big brother. “You think Harlow wasn’t a little afraid? Nor Jude? Trust me, we were all a little afraid.”
“You weren’t,” Erick said.
“That’s because I was the one to help Dad with the tree house, and besides, look at me.” He snorted.
“Nah, you’re not afraid of anything.”
Usually, Big Dick would have let that slide. “That’s not true.”
Erick raised both of his brows. “Come on, George. You and I both know nothing scares you.”
“Some things scare me.”
“Like what?”
“Like not being there for the club,” Big Dick said. “Being a bad ... father. Not being good enough for Larissa.”
“That scares you?” Erick asked. “I know you’ve faced death. You were there that day at the bakery when someone was shooting the place up.”
“I can face bullets. I can look my enemy in the face. None of that scares me, because I know I can handle it. What if I’m a shit dad? I’ve never been in a real relationship, and let’s face it, I was not always the best big brother. How am I going to be able to be a good dad?”
“You’re going to be a good dad,” Erick said.
Big Dick snorted but he didn’t believe it.
“Look, I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother.
I was a dick, and trust me, I know it. Since leaving home, no one comes and sees me.
No one wants to.” He shrugged. “I get it, it wasn’t like I built bridges.
I didn’t think I needed to. I didn’t realize when I got older and left home that no one would want to come and see me. Stupid, huh?”
“Not stupid.”
“Anyway, there’s nothing like being the last one to know about everything. I was even an afterthought when it came to Harlow’s accident. No one told me about it.”
Big Dick had been too preoccupied with getting to the hospital. Jude, their younger brother, had been the one to come and get him.
“It’s not hard,” Big Dick said, moving toward the tree. “Dad and I made it easier to climb, but only those of us that knew the code could get up.”
“Code?”
“Yeah, do you want to learn the code, Erick?” Big Dick asked.
When they were younger and he’d asked his brother this, Erick had looked at him and told him to shove the code right up his ass.
Erick looked at him and smiled. “Yeah, I want to learn the code.”
“Good, let me show you.”