Chapter 19
Lamar was a professional athlete. He worked his ass off, so his elevation to the active roster didn’t change his schedule.
We still talked every night, and he was prominently featured in my dreams. Even though I was disappointed I wasn’t going to see him, I was ecstatic that he was getting the opportunity of a lifetime.
So, on Saturday after he landed in Florida, he sent me a text.
Lamar Anderson: We landed and now we’re on a bus to the stadium for a light practice. Then we check in to the hotel and have a position meeting and then I can call you. And I promise no jet skiing.
I snickered to myself.
Lamar Anderson: I feel good. I feel ready.
Jazmyn Payne: You are good. You are ready. I’m here if you need a pep talk. Have fun and do what you do. You got this!
Lamar Anderson: Thank you, I’ll call you tonight. How are you? You good?
Jazmyn Payne: I’m good! Excited for you!
Jay Channing was going to be out for the season with a severe meniscus tear and a Grade III ACL tear.
They’d taken him to the hospital for surgery immediately after the game.
The second-string tackle, Hoyt Bennett, was starting for the first time against the Florida Crocs, and the commentators speculated that he would be targeted because of his youth and inexperience.
The rookie had been a standout in college, but from week one’s performance, they had concerns.
Not one on-air personality mentioned Lamar, the now second-string defensive tackle and the man who had me weak—in every sense of the word.
“I cannot!” I laughed hard and loudly that night while on the phone with him. Holding my stomach with one hand and the phone with the other, I doubled over. A tear formed in the corner of my eye from laughing so hard. “Stop!”
“I’m serious,” Lamar said as he walked back from picking up dinner. “I thought for sure I had the room to myself. He came out the bathroom like a ghost, and it took everything in me to not knock his ass out.”
Amused, I collapsed back on my bed. “So, you didn’t hear him at all?”
“No! I was on the phone with Bill when I came in. I put my shit down, sat at the desk, finished the conversation with him. Turned around, and this dude was just easing out the bathroom like a cat burglar. The toilet ain’t flush, the shower wasn’t on, I was at that desk on the phone with Bill for at least five minutes.
I don’t know what the fuck he was doing in there.
I just know he came out on some creep shit, and now I gotta go back in there and sleep in the bed three feet away. ”
My head fell back, and a whole new round of laughter erupted from me. “That is too funny! This cannot be true!”
“It’s true.” He chuckled. “Everything but the creep part because Leon seems cool. But he did come out that bathroom like a ghost, and when I turned around, I jumped a little bit and threw my fist up. I was about to square up with a ghost. Scared or not, he was going to feel these hands.”
I was still cracking up when he got to his hotel room.
“I’m walking in now. It looks like Leon is still out,” he informed me.
Checking the clock, I saw it was almost ten o’clock. “He has an hour before lights out.”
“Yeah. They take that curfew shit serious, too. If…” The muffled sound of him getting undressed made his voice far away. “… wouldn’t be sleep right now.”
“I missed that last part,” I interjected.
“Oh, I said if we had our date tonight, we wouldn’t be ’sleep right now.”
My entire body perked up at his words. “Oh?” I licked my lips. “What would we be doing?”
“There’s a concert happening in Baltimore tonight. I wanted to take you.”
My nipples were hard for nothing.
“Oh.” Realizing I sounded disappointed, I tried again with a more upbeat tone. “Oh wow! That would’ve been cool. The last time I saw live music was at that jazz festival with my aunt and your mom. Next time, let’s do it.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Why’d you say ‘oh’ like that at first?”
“I do-don’t know … um, like what?” I stammered.
“What did you think I was going to say?” he asked softer, sexier.
“I didn’t know,” I whispered, tweaking my nipples to alleviate some of the tension.
“Because if you wanted me to tell you everything I wanted to do with you this weekend, I could.”
“I’d like that a lot. Because as happy as I am for you, I was really, really looking forward to being with you.”
Pinching my nipples again, I swallowed hard.
“I wanted to be with you, too.” As if he could see me, Lamar groaned. “You don’t even know how bad I want you.”
“Because you don’t tell me,” I blurted.
“Jazz, I think about you in general all the time. I think about how good you are, how funny you are, how much I like you as a person. And I like to keep that at the forefront because I think about your pussy, how you feel, how you taste, how you look, how you sound almost just as much. The only reason I don’t bring up sex with you is because I don’t want you to think that’s the only thing I want from you.
Since the first time we had sex—” He interrupted himself. “Shit. Leon’s back.”
Seconds later the sound of the door hitting the wall followed by a goofy chuckle filled the background of his space.
“What’s up, man? Damn! Why’d you open the door like that?” Lamar greeted him.
“I wanted to make sure you heard me this time,” Leon said loudly. “Didn’t want to scare you again.”
Lamar and I burst out laughing at the same time. The sexual tension that had been brewing between us dissolved into chaotic amusement as he went back and forth with his roommate.
“Nah, your creep ass was hiding in the bathroom!” Lamar retorted. “I’m on the phone.”
“Oh, my bad, LA,” Leon said.
“Jazz?” Lamar focused his full attention back on me and our conversation. “You still there?”
“I’m still here,” I answered.
“How far along are you in your book?”
“I’m almost done. I don’t know if it’s any good or not, but I’m writing it.”
“Are you going to let me read it?”
A mixture of nerves, embarrassment, and discomfort swept through me. “Maybe! I don’t know!” I squeaked, putting a hand over my face. “You sound like Aunt Addy. She was asking me to send her chapters as I finish.”
“Did you do it?”
“No. I told her once I got to the halfway point, I would.”
“And you have more than that?”
“Yeah, but I’m just going to finish it and send her the whole thing.”
“That’s what’s up. Well, I look forward to reading it when you’re done. Or right now. Either way.”
I laughed, shaking my head even though he couldn’t see me. “The only thing you need to be reading in the immediate future is the Crocs’ offense.”
The Florida Crocs had been a decent team last season, mostly because their quarterback was slippery.
“You’re right,” he said with amusement. “You’re going to be watching the sideline for me tomorrow?”
“I’m going to be glued to the TV. I’m watching from home so I don’t miss a thing.”
Leon was in the background, making a lot of noise. “My bad, LA. I’m almost done.”
“You good,” Lamar replied, before redirecting to me. “I’m gonna get off the phone and get my mind right for tomorrow.”
“I understand completely. Get your rest, and do big things tomorrow. Quick question though … do the guys on the team call you ‘LA’?”
“Yeah, one of the running backs is named Lamar, and Anderson is the last name of the starting tight end. So it’s just been LA since I got here.”
“That’s cool!”
“Is it? Because when they’re talking fast, it definitely sounds like Ellie.”
I laughed. “That’s alright though. You know what it is. And you got this, LA!”
“No,” he uttered firmly. He lowered his voice to continue. “I like when you say my name.”
My body reacted to every part of that statement. “Lamar.”
“Yeah, just like that.”
There was so much I wanted to say in response because his words reverberated through my body. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was a damp spot in my panties. All I could manage to do was let out a slightly horny sigh.
“I can’t wait to hear your analysis of the game tomorrow,” he said at his regular volume.
“And I can’t wait to give it to you.”
He inhaled and exhaled audibly. “Good night, Jazmyn.”
It wasn’t until I heard how his breathing changed that I thought about what I’d said. Smiling at the thought of me having an effect on him, I rolled over to my side and squeezed my thighs together. “Good night, Lamar.”
We ended the call, and I immediately got up to get a snack.
I wasn’t typically a late-night snacker, but I needed the sugar high.
The short-term boost from the glucose was going to help me focus on writing a bit more.
Because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep.
Not with the explicit thoughts that kept running through my mind.
“What was he going to say?” I mused aloud as I walked from the kitchen with a small bag of chocolate candies.
Although Leon’s shenanigans and Lamar’s storytelling had provided the best laugh I’d had in a while, I resented Leon for coming back to the room when he had.
Because my imagination was running away with itself, and I knew that my best bet would be to channel that energy into my novel.
And I ended up staying awake writing until one o’clock in the morning.
I woke up for church at seven o’clock and made it on time for the nine o’clock service. I had a lot to be thankful for and a lot to pray about. But I knew I was meant to be there when the pastor started preaching about fear and faith. On the way home, I kept thinking about the message.
Operating in faith is trusting the process. Operating in fear is halting the process.
I called Aunt Addy immediately.
“Good morning,” she greeted me with a little more energy than she’d had on Saturday.
“Good morning! How are you doing?”
“I’m doing,” she replied. “How are you? Tell me something good.”
“I just left church, and the message was about faith over fear.”
“Amen! And how do you feel about that?”