20. Lani
20
Lani
L ani’s family was the first to arrive at New Horizons that morning, not including ‘ōlena and her girls. Even Nell wasn’t there yet.
Tenn gave each of them a kiss goodbye and then went down the street to his cafe. He was covering for one of his servers that day. He usually ended up covering for his employees multiple days each week, taking orders and flipping burgers. He said that he did it to keep costs down, and there was some truth to that, but Lani knew that he liked being there in the thick of it, being a part of the service work and food prep instead of limiting his work to invoices and payroll.
“We’ve been seeing a lot of you lately,” ‘ōlena said when Lani walked over. She was prepping the morning science experiment while her girls colored at another table. Rory and Olivia ran over to join them.
“I’ve been trying harder with Olivia,” Lani said quietly. She glanced over her shoulder at the girls, who were too far away to hear. Turning back to her cousin, she continued, “She’s so quiet that it’s hard to tell, but I think she took the changes to her family life harder than we realized at first. She’s been so sweet about sharing her dad with Rory, but I think that she’s felt… displaced. Like what little I have to offer her doesn’t make up for not having her dad’s full attention anymore.”
Other people might have tried to soothe her concerns with platitudes like ‘You’re a great mom’ or ‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ but ‘ōlena just listened thoughtfully. Lani looked up at the manta ray she’d painted on the ceiling, trying to put her feelings into words.
On the other side of the room, the four little girls chattered happily over their coloring books.
“I was so caught up in my own stuff that I didn’t help her through the transition as well as I might have otherwise, and she’s so quiet that I didn’t realize she was struggling. Tenn is so warm and sweet with Rory, but there’s always been sort of a distance between Livie and me. Maybe because she’s older? Or maybe because she’s just reserved, and so am I? I don’t know. I’m not sure how to bridge that gap, but I figure more time together is key. We’ve been doing more family game nights instead of just leaving the girls to play on their own. And I’m showing up for her wherever I can.”
“That sounds like the right approach.”
“Rory’s so uncomplicated,” Lani said as she helped ‘ōlena set out two rows of plastic bowls. “I mean, she might have big reactions, but she doesn’t hold onto stuff. Two new dads in one year, and she took it all in stride. Olivia’s the opposite. She seems to take things calmly, but there’s a lot going on under the surface. I worry about her.”
“Spoken like a true mother,” ‘ōlena teased gently.
Lani grinned, though worry for her stepdaughter still gnawed at her. “I guess.”
“She’ll be fine, Leilani. You’re doing everything right. Just give it time.”
“Yeah. I hope so.”
‘ōlena turned towards the kids and called, “Playground time!”
There was a rapid shuffling of papers and clinking of colored pencils into tin cans as the girls hurried to put their things away. ‘ōlena had trained them well. Her playschool kids were like a well-organized regiment, and without any harshness required to get them there.
Maybe if Lani hung around New Horizons more, she would pick up some of ‘ōlena’s parenting skills by osmosis. She and Rory had always gotten along just fine, but with just one more kid in the mix, Lani felt outmatched.
The morning sun dazzled her eyes when they stepped outside. The girls raced across the grass to the empty playground. Lani and ‘ōlena trailed them at a leisurely pace, soaking up the sun and breathing in the fresh morning air.
“This is my favorite time of day,” ‘ōlena said.
“It’s gorgeous,” Lani agreed, looking up at the fresh blue sky.
“Mom! Look at this!” Olivia hung upside down from the monkey bars, her golden braid pointing down to the soft playground flooring.
“Wow!” Lani shouted back. “Look at you!”
Olivia beamed at her and hung there for another moment before reaching up and righting herself.
“She’s doing just fine,” ‘ōlena said. “You worry too much.”
“Yeah, maybe. The worry was merited, I think. She was having a really hard time for a while there.”
“And now she’s fine. You’re doing everything that you can do, so let the worry go.”
“Okay, okay, I hear you.”
The slam of a door pulled her attention to the parking lot, where Nell was pulling her cranky toddler and a huge backpack out of the back of her car.
Cassie ran past with a quick “Good morning, aunties!” as she hurried to join the other girls on the playground.
“Sorry I’m late,” Nell said breathlessly when she reached them. “One of the goats got out this morning, and I still can’t figure out how. It took forever for Emma and I to get it back where it belongs.”
“You’re not late.” ‘ōlena grinned at her. “You’re just not as early as usual.”
“I wanted to help with set up, that’s all.”
“We’re all good. Just take a breath.”
“I’m gonna put our stuff inside, and I really need to pee. Can I leave Everett with you for a sec?”
“Of course.” ‘ōlena held out her arms, and the redheaded baby went to her willingly.
Tall, broad-shouldered ‘ōlena probably weighed twice as much as Nell did, and the stocky toddler looked much smaller in her arms than he did when his mother held him. He relaxed into ‘ōlena’s body and rested his head on her shoulder, content.
“What a little love bug,” Lani said.
“Oh, he loves his Auntie ‘ōlena,” Nell said, already siddling towards the building. “Be right back!”
“Stop rushing!” ‘ōlena called after her. In an exaggerated Hawaiian accent she added, “We on island time ova hea!”
Nell’s laughter trailed behind her as she ran into the building.
“She’s a gold-star employee,” ‘ōlena said with a shake of her head, “but sometimes her nerves stress me out.”
“She’s carrying a lot,” Lani said.
“Aren’t we all,” ‘ōlena added, but she smiled as she looked at the five girls racing across the playground. Everett watched them with a sleepy sort of interest, holding the fabric of ‘ōlena’s shirt tight in one chubby hand. They looked so comfortable together.
“Do you ever want another one?” Lani asked.
‘ōlena gave her an odd look.
“I miss the baby days sometimes,” Lani continued, “but then other times it feels like I can hardly handle the two we have.”
“I always wanted a boy,” ‘ōlena admitted, patting Everett’s back. “A little mini-me for Nate.”
“Did you?” She smiled at her tall, strong, competent cousin. ‘ōlena was the kind of woman who could wrangle a dozen kids every day and make it look easy. “Do you ever talk about having another one?”
‘ōlena gave her a significant look.
Lani gasped, looked from ‘ōlena’s face to her belly and back again. “Are you…?”
“Shh!” Grinning, ‘ōlena waved her into silence. “We haven’t told anyone yet. Not even the girls.”
“Are you really? How do you feel?”
“I feel good.” There was a whole-hearted peace in her smile. “Nate’s excited to be here this time, for all of it. And so am I.”
Lani found herself blinking back tears of joy. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Mahalo. I’m happy too.”
She hugged her, being careful not to squash Everett. He pushed her away anyhow, giving her an indignant scowl. Lani just laughed.
Her heart was full as she watched her two daughters on the money bars. Warm sunlight slanted overhead, and the green grass of the field sparkled with morning dew.
There were more decisions ahead, more challenges — and more happy surprises too.
Right there, in that moment, she realized that she was perfectly content. And instead of anticipating future worries or potential problems, she let herself breathe deep and enjoy it.