Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
Issa
A x had made good on his promise to let Amir and me lay back while he tended to us in the most delicious way possible. He’d licked or sucked us, then fucked each of us through yet another orgasm before shooting his release across our bodies then rubbing it in like his own private line of skin moisturizer.
And as amazing as that day had been, I was back to being bored as yet another week passed where I wasn’t allowed to return to work. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep all those voices from my past from echoing in my head, reminding me I was nothing, that my alphas controlled every aspect of my life, that my every action, every decision, and my future was in their hands.
I knew it wasn’t true. Of course I did. But that didn’t keep my mother’s and fathers’ voices from chattering in my head like a herd of demons.
“It’s temporary,” Amir said to me for the millionth time since that night Enzo had laid down the law and ordered the two of us to stick around the house with the guards watching over us.
“I know.”
“So why do you look so damn…defeated?”
I dropped my head against the cushion and pulled my feet from where they’d been resting on his lap. He didn’t like that and dragged them right back, wrapping his hands around my ankles to keep them in place.
“I’m bored,” I lied. Or half lied. Because I was bored. “Can we go to your parents’ house and ride the horses? If they’re rideable.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “Is that the right phrasing? It sounded weird when I said it.”
He chuckled and stretched until he could reach my lips, pressing a kiss to them. “Yes. That’s the right word. And as long as the guards are willing to escort us, we can absolutely go ride Princess Fancy Pants and Pearl. I’m sure my mom would love to see you again.”
It was the middle of the day in the middle of the week, so his sisters would be in school. Although we could always stick around for a while to visit with them, too. After growing up nearly resenting my only sister, it was nice to be able to form bonds with the girls.
“Should you call her first? Make sure it’s okay?” Because he officially lived here now. Surely, his parents would want to know if one of their adult children planned to pop by their house.
“Seriously? No, I don’t need to call and ask if I can visit my horse or my mom. She’ll be fucking thrilled.”
Excitement at the prospect of leaving the house for something other than eating dinner with my pack bubbled up in my chest. “Oh my gosh! I’m calling Enzo to make sure it’s okay. Will you check with the guards to see if they’ll take us?”
“I know my fathers’ man will. I’ll ask Bain’s guy, too.”
He pushed to his feet to go talk to the guards at the front and back doors, and I hit Enzo’s number on my phone.
“You okay?” he asked as a greeting.
“Amir and I want to go horseback riding at his family’s house. He’s asking the guards now. Is that okay? ”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to ask to leave the house as long as one of the guards go with you. We’re not trying to keep you on lockdown or some shit. Just trying to keep you safe until we find Antonio.”
“I know.” But those voices in my head sometimes were louder than my alphas’.
“I can feel that, you know,” he said, his tone softer. “Stop doubting us, beta. We love you and want you to be safe. That’s it. When this shit is over and Antonio is no longer breathing the same air as you, you’re free to return to the club or work wherever the hell you want. But we can’t risk losing you. Either of you.”
“I love you, too,” I sighed over the line, those squishy, warm tendrils slithering down the thread of our bond.
“That’s better,” he said, and I could picture him rubbing the heel of his hand against the middle of his chest as he often did when a rush of emotions came from me or Amir. I wasn’t sure whether it was still an unfamiliar feeling or if he simply enjoyed having our souls so entwined; he could feel us with him no matter how much distance was between us. “Text me when you get to his mom’s, when you’re leaving, and when you get back home.”
I sighed and dropped my head against the cushion again.
“Sweetheart, it’s temporary.”
“I know. That’s what Amir keeps saying.”
“Because it is. You know the three of us would never force anything on you.”
Of course, they wouldn’t. They’d all hidden their feelings from me, their desire to bond me as their beta because they were waiting for me to make the first move, to indicate when I was ready for more than the easy friendship we’d built over the first few months.
“Have fun. Please be careful. Keep us updated. Love you, beautiful,” he said, his deep voice so warm and delicious.
“I love you, too. And thank you.”
It was his turn to sigh. “Why does this feel like we’ve taken several steps back? You don’t have to thank me for anything, especially something as simple as enjoying the day with our omega.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and I sent a rush of affection down the bond.
“Damn, I love that.”
I ended the call before we could get into another round of I love you and reassurances from my alpha. Because, as much as the current situation sucked, I knew everyone was right – this was temporary.
I would just have to be patient and then I could return to the club, Amir and I could leave the house without an armed escort, and the five of us would go back to living happily ever after.
Amir’s mom had been overjoyed when she spotted us climbing out the back of the SUV. She’d even made the guards come into the house to eat while Amir and I climbed onto the backs of the horses.
He had demanded I ride Pearl, warning me that Princess Fancy Pants was spoiled and could be rank at times. And yeah, I had totally had to ask what the hell he’d meant by the horse being rank. Apparently, horse lovers used that term and the rest of us were left clueless.
We were currently sitting on the backs of the mares as they casually walked through a heavily wooded path. It was obvious by how worn it was that this path had been used hundreds of times. But I loved looking up and around, watching birds and other critters go from limb to limb or forage along the forest floor for a meal.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” I said quietly as though I might ruin the moment if I spoke any louder.
“Wait until you see my favorite spot,” he said, nudging his heels into his horse’s ribs and taking off at a faster clip.
“Wait! How do I make mine go fas—” I didn’t get the question out of my mouth before Pearl took off after Princess Fancy Pants and I clung to her like a spider monkey.
Luckily, Amir had taken some time to teach me how to hang on with my thighs, so I wasn’t holding onto the saddle horn for dear life the entire time.
But the speed still scared the crap out of me as my hair blew behind me and I had to duck to avoid hitting a few low hanging branches.
A scream tore from my lips, but I couldn’t stop smiling and giggling. It was terrifying but so freaking thrilling at the same time.
Amir slowed until our horses were running side by side. “You doing okay?”
“This is amazing!” I said through laughter.
Tears were streaming down my face, and I wasn’t sure whether it was from the wind in my eyes, the adrenaline rush, or just sheer joy.
His megawatt smile beamed at me, sending butterflies fluttering through my stomach and making my heart thump like crazy.
Though the increased heartrate could have also been from the fact I was on a huge beast and running through a forest like some kind of fairy tale princess.
When Amir reached over and grabbed the reign from my hands, he helped steer Pearl down a small embankment. I was terrified I was going to go flying over the horse’s head or tumble over the side, but Amir was there. He wouldn’t let anything happen to me.
And the fact I felt that with such certainty sent a fresh wave of love and trust rushing through my system until it felt as though the whole world was cast in rainbows and shades of rose.
Eventually, Amir slowed our horses as we entered a clearing complete with a babbling creek.
“Oh my gosh,” I breathed out as my eyes went wide.
I was seriously inserted smack dab in the middle of a fairy tale, and my beautiful prince was watching me with the most heartwarming smile.
He stopped both horses and climbed off the top of Princess Fancy Pants before offering his hand and grabbing me by the hips to lower me to the ground after I threw one of my legs over the side of the saddle.
“What do you think?” he asked, his warm voice quiet as he guided me to the side of the creek.
The water was crystal clear, and every once in a while, I’d see a tiny fish or turtle swim past .
“It’s perfect. This whole day has been perfect.”
For a few hours, we got to pretend we lived a normal life, that I didn’t have a former alpha out there intent on making my life a nightmare, that there weren’t guards waiting for us to return so they could escort us back to the pack house.
Amir disappeared from my periphery, but I couldn’t stop gawking at the spring, the trees that swayed in the wind across the way, then tilting my head back to watch as a hawk circled overhead, its shadow following its path on the ground.
“I love it here,” I said, turning to find Amir on one knee, a black, velvet box in his outstretched hand. “What are you doing?”
“I know this isn’t the norm, and I know you don’t want a bonding ceremony. But I want you to be mine in every possible way. The alphas were able to mark you, to leave physical evidence of their connection to you, and I want nothing more than to be represented, as well.”
“What…” Words refused to leave my mouth.
“Will you marry me, Issa?”
“I…we could just get matching tattoos.” Really, Issa? That’s the first thing out of your mouth?
His smile faltered and uncertainty flashed through his eyes and over his face.
“Oh. Yeah…um…”
“Wait. That’s not what I meant to say. It…I…I’m ruining this. I’m ruining the moment.” Tears welled for a whole new reason. “Of course, I’ll marry you,” I said as his face blurred through the moisture welling in my eyes before rolling over my lashes and down my cheeks.
“Yeah?” he asked, that smile stretching again.
“Yes. Absolutely yes.” My voice was breathless but the grin on my face reassured him.
He lunged to his feet, wrapped his arms around my waist, and lifted me from my feet, swinging me in a circle as I cried happy tears on his shoulder.
“Shit. Wait,” he said, setting me back on my feet and pulling the ring from the box. “I almost forgot. ”
New tears formed at the first sight of the ring. Instead of a single diamond ring on a gold band, he’d chosen a ring with various colored stones that topped a rose gold colored band.
“I got a gem to represent each of our birth stones. Well, not yours, but mine, Ax’s, Cyrus’s, and Enzo’s.”
“It’s perfect.” I hiccupped as he slid the ring on my left fourth finger, then lifted my hand to feather a kiss to the back.
I’d thought the day had been perfect as we’d lazily ridden down the trail. Then it grew even more perfect when he showed me this idealistic setting.
Now, as I stared down at the ring representing the four greatest loves of my life, I realized this moment would be the moment that would forever be the best day of my life.
At least until the actual wedding day.