Chapter 10 #2
“Me. All of me. Which is a lot,” I said, and she smiled, the tension breaking like a thin layer of ice. “If we take this next step, I won’t want to stop. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever.”
She let that hang in the air, then reached for my hand. Her fingers were small and cool, and she interlaced them with mine like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I want that too,” she said, voice trembling with both nerves and hope. “But I don’t know how to do this. I’m scared I’ll mess it up.”
I shook my head, squeezing her hand. “You won’t. I promise you. If you ever feel uncomfortable, you tell me and I’ll stop. No questions, no pressure. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”
She looked at me like I’d offered her the sun and the moon. “That’s not how it works where I’m from.”
“Then we’re making our own rules,” I told her. “From scratch.”
I brought her hand up, kissed the back of it, then traced her knuckles with my thumb. “You’re braver than you give yourself credit for, Aspen. You walked away from everything you’d ever known. That takes more guts than most people have.”
I watched the shyness fade from her face, replaced by something fierce. “Can I ask you something else?” she said.
“Anything.”
“If I tell you to kiss me again, will you?”
I smiled. “No. But if you ask, I might.”
She rolled her eyes, then took a steadying breath. “Will you kiss me, Jonas?”
I leaned in, slow, giving her all the time in the world to change her mind. When our lips met, it was so goddamn sweet it almost hurt. She sighed into my mouth, fingers threading through my beard, pulling me closer.
This time, I didn’t hold back. I kissed her like I’d never get another chance, and maybe I wouldn’t. The world was dangerous, cruel, and full of people who would tear her down for daring to shine.
But not tonight.
When I pulled back, she was breathless and smiling, her cheeks flushed and her eyes half-lidded.
“You’re good at that,” she said, voice barely above a whisper.
“Practice,” I said. “And maybe a little fate.”
We sat in the golden glow of the living room, her feet tucked inside my legs, my hand cradling hers so careful I could feel every tiny shift of her pulse.
The urge to pull her closer, to wrap her up and claim her in every way a man could, fought with the need to make this slow, memorable, and right.
I’d spent a lifetime wrestling monsters, but tonight the only monster in me was hunger, and I didn’t want to let it win.
Aspen finally broke the hush. “Papa, can I ask something kind of stupid?”
“There’s no such thing as a stupid question,” I said, and meant it.
She stared down at her lap, fingers fiddling with the hem of the oversized t-shirt.
“I saw those women at the bar. Maddie and the others. They’re all—” She made a motion that was more curve than straight line, but the meaning was clear.
“They’re just so fit and…well, perfect. When I look in the mirror, I see someone who’s never been perfect in her whole damn life. ”
The tremor in her voice made me want to shake the earth until it explained itself. Instead, I sat back, let her finish, and marshaled every ounce of gentleness I had.
“I want you to listen to me,” I said, the chaplain tone slipping in without warning.
“There’s a thousand types of beauty in this world, Aspen.
You might not be built like a wolf runner, but every time I see you, I swear it does something to my blood.
” I hesitated, searching for the right words.
“All my life I’ve been surrounded by women who could deadlift a tractor and run fifty miles before breakfast. Strong, yes.
Beautiful, sure. Some of their bodies are firm and toned, but some are softer.
But you walk into a room, all curves and sass; it’s like the air gets heavier. All I can see is you.”
She didn’t look convinced, but she did look up. “You sure you’re not just saying that to be nice?”
“Why would I lie? I simply wouldn’t waste my time saying anything at all if it weren’t true. Instead, I’m sitting here hard as a rock because of the way you look in those pajamas.”
She went, the blush rising from her collar to the tips of her ears.
I waited, letting her process it, then added, “I’ve wanted you from the moment you gave me that first smartass reply over the pastry case. You have no idea how much you affect me.”
She let out a laugh that was part disbelief, part relief. “That’s… good to know. I guess.”
I had to make sure she understood the depth of my feelings.
“Aspen, there is one more thing. Before we take this step in our relationship, you need to know that this cannot be a one and done deal with me. I feel way too much for you. I don’t know how things work in the witch world, but for a wolf, at some point in our lives, if we are very blessed, fate brings one person made specifically for us into our lives.
I knew the moment I met you that you were my mate.
My wolf shouted it to me even as I was being an ass to you.
I wanted to get to know you first. That’s why I’ve tried to spend so much time with you.
I wanted to know you as a person and for you to get to know me too.
The more I know you, the more I love you.
If you don’t feel you share these feelings, we need to wait before we take this any further.
If this is only physical for you, let’s wait a bit longer. ”
A tear ran down her face. “I never hoped to hear these beautiful words from any man, much less from the most amazing man in the world. And I don’t know what it feels like to have another part of me telling me who my mate is; all I have is my heart and my soul telling me that without you I will never know complete happiness or joy.
All I know at a soul level is you are the other half of me, and I love you deeply. ”
She drew in a breath that sounded like a prayer. “I’m nervous, but…I want this. I want you.”
I stood and pulled her up. “Good,” I said, and led her down the hall.
The master bedroom was warm, the fire in the corner hearth already down to small flames but still enough to throw a little light.
Bedside table lamps cast a soft light in the room.
The comforter was turned down, the sheets clean and soft, and the mattress, specially made, king-plus, reinforced to hold a man my size, looked big enough to swallow her whole.
She hovered in the doorway, bare toes curling on the hardwood, and I knew the nerves were back.
“You want me to turn off the lights?” I asked, voice gentle.
“No,” she said. “I want to see you.”
She watched me with big, unblinking eyes as I peeled off my shirt.
I’d never liked the way I looked shirtless with scars from shrapnel, from fights, from the bomb that cost me a chunk of my thigh.
But I wanted to show her I wasn’t perfect, either.
I stood there, chest bare, tattooed, letting her take it all in.
She moved closer, ran her hand down my shoulder, tracing the line of a scar that ran like a white river down my side.
“Does it hurt?” she whispered.
“Not anymore,” I said. “Old wounds. They don’t matter when you’ve got new life in your arms.”
She smiled, and the last of her shyness melted.
I reached for the drawstring on her pajama pants, tugged it loose.
She held still, watching my face for any hint of mockery or disappointment.
When I slid the pants down, I let my hands run slowly over her hips, reverent.
Her thighs were soft, the skin so pale it almost glowed.
I lifted the t-shirt over her head, her hair falling like a black silken waterfall over her shoulders in its wake, revealing a pretty pink bra beneath.
Her hands flew to cover her stomach, but I caught them and pressed them to her sides.
“Let me look at you,” I said, and she did.
She was all curves—generous, lush, the kind of woman men used to write poetry about before advertising and the internet ruined everything. Her breasts were full, straining the cups, and I wanted to sink my teeth into the rise of her shoulder just to see if she’d moan or giggle.
I took my time, tracing the dip of her waist, the small rise of her tummy, the powerful curve of her thighs. My wolf was howling, claws scraping at my insides, but I kept my touch feather-light.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” I said, and when she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. Not sad tears, just relief, like maybe she finally believed it.
I walked her to the bed and eased her down, laying her out in the middle on the pillow like a present I was afraid to unwrap too quickly. The mattress barely dipped under her weight, but when I crawled up beside her, it cradled us both.
She shivered, and I reached for the throw at the foot of the bed, tucking it around her shoulders. “Cold?” I asked.
“No, just… overwhelmed.”
I cupped her face, running my thumb along her jaw. “We can stop anytime, Aspen. Say the word, and I’ll hold you all night, nothing else.”
She shook her head, hair spilling over the pillow. “Don’t you dare stop.”
I grinned. “Your wish is my command, ma’am.”
She gave a short laugh; the tension breaking. “I like the sound of that.”
“Tonight, I’m all yours,” I admitted.
She reached for me, shy at first, then bolder. Her fingers traced my scars, my ribs, the flat line of my stomach. When her hand dropped lower, I shuddered, barely catching myself before I let the wolf off the leash.
I slid the straps of her bra down, slow enough to give her plenty of time to object. She didn’t. The cups fell away, and her breasts tumbled free, full and perfect, the nipples already peaked and blushing a sweet, impossible pink. I had her lean up so I could free the clasp.
I covered one with my palm, feeling the weight and heat of her. She arched, pressing into my hand, and when I leaned down to kiss her breast, she gasped, a high, clear sound that made my cock jump.
“Is that okay?” I asked, voice rough.