Chapter Eight #2
Eli pulled on clothes, made coffee, and started the oven. He needed to clear his head, so he could work through the situation. No better way than with baking. He set out his simple ingredients, washed his hands, and got started.
The recipe had been one of his mom’s favorites, when she was well enough to enjoy it. The dough came together quickly as he churned everything over in his head.
Before Olivia, he only wanted a woman who was around for a good time, not a long time. He preferred to keep things clean and simple. He didn’t like messy feelings and complications.
Complications led to entanglements and entanglements led to attachments.
Attachments only meant tragedy and heartbreak.
And he wanted none of it.
He put breakfast in the oven. No need to set a timer.
When it came to baking, his internal clock was spot-on.
He didn’t make mistakes. Not in the kitchen.
Not at work. Not in any area of his life, except for when it came to Liv.
Taking care of his mother had forced him to be better, to do the right thing. But with Liv, nothing was simple.
The first time she talked about marriage and babies, asked him if he might ever want anything serious, he contemplated getting a vasectomy. Even scheduled an appointment.
But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She never came right out and told him what she wanted. Not that he’d asked. Maybe deep down he knew that someday, she might want more, and a part of him wanted to be capable of giving it to her.
Otherwise, why didn’t he go through with it and get the big snip?
He took the food out of the oven. Added the lemon glaze. Left it to cool. Sipped his coffee.
For five years, he’d kept everything compartmentalized. Now those compartments were colliding. Breaking apart. Disappearing.
A kid was going to be a permanent part of the equation. How could he walk away now?
To this day, his father abandoning him still hurt, like a splinter embedded in his heart. He wouldn’t do that to his child.
But how could he break the cycle and keep them both safe? Protect them from the horrible cloud of tragedy that clung to him like a shadow?
Like a stain.
That part was unclear, and it terrified him.
His phone pinged with a text. He swiped the screen and checked it.
Takoda: Questioned Purdom. Skittish. Definitely hiding something. Odds high the FWP report was falsified. Bo is checking his financials.
Eli: Thanks. Let me know as soon as you have more.
“What smells so delicious?” Liv asked, and he looked over at her.
She was gorgeous. Half awake. Bare-faced. Spread out and naked beneath the sheets.
Eli put breakfast on a plate, brought it over, and sat beside her. “Blueberry lemon scones. They’re still warm.”
“Yum.” She sat up and took one. “They look so cute. Little triangles. Like they came from a bakery.” She bit into it and groaned like she was having an orgasm.
He loved all the noises and little sounds she made, in bed, and especially when she was eating his cooking. Which was also usually in bed.
“Why on earth haven’t you made these for me sooner?” she asked, chewing around the food in her mouth.
“Because you weren’t eating carbs before, but now I get to flex my skills and show you what I’m capable of in the kitchen.”
“Yes, please.” She curled an arm around his neck and kissed him.
Her mouth was soft and warm and sweet.
Liv finished the first scone and licked her fingers. “These are incredible and so are you.” She grabbed another and bit into it.
“I’m glad you feel that way because I’ve been thinking we should get married.”
She choked on the food in her mouth and stared at him. “What?”
“You’re pregnant and with this kid, we’re going to be in each other’s lives forever. We might as well. It only makes sense. Right?”
Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him like he’d just suggested the worst thing in the world. “You think this is what I want? A proposal because it makes sense?”
Didn’t she?
He was getting the impression he miscalculated. “You want the baby. We get along whenever we’re together and the sex is great. I don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t.” She dropped the scone on the plate. “How do imagine this would work? We get hitched and you move to Colorado?”
He flinched. Colorado?
“Because that’s where my family is,” she said.
“I’d be your family.” The word struck a chord in him, resonating deeply.
After he saved her from the fire, the EMTs wouldn’t let him ride in the ambulance with her.
Worry and panic had clawed through him as he followed behind them, with the fierce need to be at her side only growing more intense.
Then at the hospital, they refused to give him any information about her condition because he wasn’t a relative.
It bothered him, far more than he cared to admit, and in ways he still didn’t fully grasp.
He considered the IPS team his family. But that word fit Liv better than anyone else.
He wanted to be her emergency contact and for her to be his.
“Family doesn’t walk away. They don’t bail on you,” she said, and the wobble in her voice twisted something in his chest. “Before you knew I was pregnant, you were prepared to let me go, and be with someone else, without a single complaint. Remember?”
“That’s not fair. We had a deal. Remember? I did the right thing for you. No matter how hard it was for me.”
“Seemed pretty easy.” She huffed a heavy breath. “You haven’t thought this through. Do you envision me and a baby living in your one-bedroom house, getting into your stuff, seeing us every morning and night? Babies are loud and messy, and they don’t make deals.”
Okay, he was a guy who enjoyed living alone. Enjoyed his privacy. Enjoyed his space and things organized a certain way. Changes would have to be made.
“It’s a three-bedroom house.” Although he used one room as an office and another he’d converted into a gym, and he had no clue what he’d do with his stuff. “And no, I hadn’t worked out details.”
“There’s no space in your life for me. That’s the way you’ve designed it.
The way you like it. I’ve been to your house plenty of times and you gave me one drawer.
A small one in the bathroom for toiletries.
I can’t even leave clothes in a spare closet.
You aren’t willing to sacrifice for me by moving to Colorado either.
Are you?” she asked with a hopeful expression, but he didn’t have a response, and she sighed.
“The basis for a good marriage isn’t that it simply makes sense.
It’s love, E.” Running her hand through her hair, she pulled her legs up to her chest. “The truth is this thing between us was never going to work. We both chose someone who was off-limits, someone disposable, because we only wanted something fun and temporary. It only lasted this long because it continued to be fun. Seeing me makes you feel less lonely. And the sex is off the charts.”
Off the charts was better than great, but he couldn’t take any pleasure in the compliment.
“I’ve never thought of you, or treated you, as disposable.
” Goodness, was that how she’d thought of him in the beginning?
“The relationship may have started out wrong, but it doesn’t mean we’re wrong together. ”
Maybe he shouldn’t be with anyone. It was safer alone. But if he could choose one person in the world to be with, one person he could somehow protect from anything, it’d be Liv.
“It’s always been wrong,” she said. “The wrong time. The wrong circumstances. Now, you’re asking me to marry you for the wrong reason.”
Her words knocked the wind out of him. Left him breathless and his head spinning.
“Marriage isn’t a necessity. This is the twenty-first century. I earn good money. I’ve made smart investments. My family will help with the baby. You’re welcome to be involved in this child’s life as much or as little as you want. No strings.”
For the first time, those two little words stung.
But he had no response.
“I’d like you to be listed on the birth certificate,” she said. “But legally you’ll have to sign a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity.”
Wow. She’d given this serious consideration. “Of course I’d sign it.”
“Good. Then she or he will be an Easton.”
“But you wouldn’t be.”
Olivia lowered her head. “No, I wouldn’t, but I don’t want to get married for the sake of convenience or to simply have your name.
I won’t do it if it doesn’t feel right.” Her phone rang.
She grabbed it from the nightstand and answered.
“Yes.” She listened for a minute or two.
“Okay. Send me your location.” She was quiet for another moment before passing along the details of where they were staying.
“We’ll be there as quickly as possible.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“Odin’s Eye got a hit.”
“On Audrey?”
“Kevin. The facial recognition program picked him up, along with another guy, on a surveillance camera late last night in a grocery store. A WinCo.”
Those stores were open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, only closing for part of the day on select holidays. “But he’s long gone by now.”
“CCTV caught them taking a main road. Trujillo cross-referenced the area with the list of addresses Maben gave us. He thinks he pinpointed them. If we want to be a part of the raid, we’ve got to hurry.”