36. Offer of Unconditional Affection
Bailey
I don’t sleep well that night. I walk into the office twenty minutes late the next morning, with a wrinkled outfit and messy hair. I place the figurine Mimi carved for me beside my monitor. Even if it doesn’t mean what Mimi thinks it means I like looking at it; I like the warm feelings it invokes of familial ties and belonging. Even if all of that is temporary I’ve decided to savor it.
And maybe to force Sacha to confront the truth.
I settle into my chair, opening my email and mindlessly clicking through the messages. My brain is so full of fuzz that I forgot I have a video chat scheduled this morning. I click on the link in the email distractedly, it opens a window to download some program for the chat.
“Bailey.” Sacha’s voice pulls my attention from the loading bar. He’s standing in front of my desk in a pristine suit and a neatly combed beard, appearing perfect as always. He doesn’t look like he was up all night worrying that I will never love him.
“Morning, sir.” I smile, hoping I am reading too much into his clipped tone.
“You can’t have that on your desk. Not where people will see it.” He glances over his shoulder like we might have spies in the cubicles.
“What?”
“If someone recognizes it, they could figure out what—what we are to each other.” He picks up the figurine, turns his back on me, heading for his office.
I leap from my seat, chasing after him, closing the door to his office behind us.
“So you know what it represents?” I ask, hoping he will give me the response I need to hear.
“The board members can’t see this. If they realize what I’ve been doing. What I made you do?—”
“You didn’t make me do anything.” I chew on my lip waiting for more.
He goes quiet looking only at the carving.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I swallow hard. “Why didn’t you tell me that Bigfoots mate for life?”
“I didn’t want to upset you.” He exhales a long tired sigh, like he’s been expecting this conversation.
“Why would I be upset?” I push back, and immediately regret it. “What’s there to be upset about?”
“I’m a monster, Bailey, with set rules. The moment that we met, I knew what our destiny was. Humans don’t operate like that. You needed more time.” He takes a step toward me, I can’t stop myself from retreating. “I wasn’t sure if you would accept me.”
“Am I just a placeholder?” My voice cracks at the question. I shouldn’t ask, I know I’m not ready to hear his answer. “Until you find the right person?”
“No.” He’s beside me in two steps, towering over me, tugging my chin up so he can look into my eyes. “Bailey, it’s you. It will always be you. It might seem extreme, but I’ve never met anyone who felt so right when we were together. You make me want more than just my job, or my company, or my money. You make me want a life. I want you to be my life, forever.”
Forever.
The word clenches into nausea in my stomach and my breakfast threatens to splay itself all over his suit.
I pull my chin out of his grip, I can’t have him looking at me like that, not right now. I like him, I want to believe him, but if he hid this from me then what else is he hiding?
“Fated-mates?” My mouth feels dry. “You and me. You’re sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, my Beast.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before? I deserved to know.” I can feel that I am about to fuck this up. I’m going to yell, or cry, or lose my temper. Something that will show him I’m not worth loving. I’m going to ruin everything.
“I’m sorry. I should have explained,” he says immediately, my heart skips a beat, “I should have told you right away. I should have trusted you. I shouldn’t have hidden anything from you. I shouldn’t have tried to bribe you into spending time with me, so that you would fall in love in return. I shouldn’t have mated with you in the woods without telling you that I love you.”
The floor seems to pitch below my feet, my heart feels tight, like it could break my chest apart. This big beautiful male is saying everything that anyone would want to hear, but I struggle to accept the offer of unconditional affection. People don’t just love you unconditionally, not even the people who are supposed to, not even parents.
Love isn’t reliable. My brain grapples for something that feels real, solid, dependable.
“The money?” I ask without meaning too.
“I’ll stick to all of my promises, Bailey, say the word and the money is yours. Leave right now, and the money is yours.” He’s hovering over me now his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “But it won’t matter what you do, you are mine forever. If you run, I’ll chase. If you hide, I’ll hunt. I’ll always find you. I keep trying to change, to be more civilized, more human, but this is who I am, a monster.”
“Not a monster, just a love-sick idiot.” I squirm, looking at the door for escape.
Before I can move Sacha steps to me again and captures my mouth in his. A warm heavy kiss that feels like he’s trying to prove something to me. My hands fist into his shirt, caught between fear and longing. How do you just accept an offer like this? How do you hold still and find happiness?
Someone knocks on his door and I finally push him away. He moves easily but there’s pain in his eyes.
“Mr. Kwatch, we have a problem.” Mr. Loch’s Scottish lilt shouts through the door.
“Just wait!” Sacha yells to the door, not taking his eyes off of me.
“It’s important Sacha.” Loch is already turning the doorknob, and in a flash Sacha has put half of the room between us. My body is cold where he stood a moment before. Loch’s gaze flicks repeatedly between the two of us.
“Is everything alright here?” Mr. Loch asks curtly.
“It’s fine,” Sacha grumbles.
“I’ll just get out of your hair.” I turn for the door.
“Bailey. No.” Sacha’s voice is so sharp it could cut. “Don’t leave until we’ve had a chance to finish our discussion.”
I freeze in place.
“Ms. Thorn?” Loch’s eyes lock on mine. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” It’s hard to find anything else to say with the lake monster here.
“Then you are excused, Ms. Thorn.” Loch waves his hand at me, but watches Sacha.
Sacha doesn’t argue this time, so I gratefully flee the office. More than happy to get a few moments by myself to process everything Sacha said. To think about forever. With him.
I escape to the bathroom to clean off my smudged mascara where my watery eyes have ruined my makeup. I want to accept him, even though my instincts scream that it’s time to run away from this commitment, the way I have run from every commitment. I’m starting to get tired of running. Wouldn’t it be great to just stand still for a moment. Stand still and actually face my situation.