Chapter 19 #2
The trembling in my body only intensifies, goosebumps breaking out across my skin despite the heat in the enclosed cabin and how badly I’m sweating.
“Now”—he brings the knife up across my lips—“you and I are going to have a conversation about your sources, about how to find each and every one of them, and if you lie to me, I’ll start scarring up this pretty face of yours.”
I hold his stare and see that he’s not joking. It isn’t an empty threat at all, but I keep my shoulders squared. Because I’m far smarter than he gives me credit for.
“What do I care if I’m scarred? You’re just going to kill me, anyway.”
He releases another barked laugh, the sound of evil floating through the air in the place that had been a safe refuge for me and Connor that’s now been ruined. “You’re far too smart for your own good, aren’t you, Raven?”
“So I’ve been told.”
“Well, let’s hope you’re smart enough not to make your final moments very painful ones. Now, talk.”
CONNOR
Compared to how slow I had to hike up here the last time, with Raven trailing behind me, struggling with her bags and the weight of her attitude, this speed feels breakneck.
I practically run up the steep slopes and inclines, dodging around the massive trees and leaping over any fallen logs that stand in the way of getting to her.
Frantic footfalls sound behind me the entire way, and Killian begs for me to slow down more than once so we can talk. So we can come up with a plan, in case there is any danger up at the cabin when we reach it.
But I can’t bring myself to slow down for even one moment.
If I do, it could be the thing that costs Raven her life.
It’s my fault.
The only reason she’s alone up there is because I forced her to come with me…and then left her. If anything happens to Raven—
No.
I’ve spent months reliving the worst night of my life every waking moment and every time I tried to sleep, and I refuse to create a new nightmare before we even get there.
My focus has to be getting to her, not imagining the worst.
I don’t stop to eat. Not even to grab a drink from my canteen. I’m dehydrated, exhausted, my muscles trembling and aching, and I’m bordering on collapse at any moment.
But I won’t stop.
I keep fighting through it. Forcing my feet to keep moving, I trek farther up the mountain with Killian hot on my heels.
Even though Tony and Barrett took the drive back to town and are going to get the information where it needs to go, and they promised to move the girls and Niall to their uncle’s tonight, I can’t shake the sense of dread that follows on our climb.
The sun shifts across the sky as we climb, and I stumble, my foot catching on a fallen log. I crash to my knees on the forest floor, my chest heaving, desperately trying to catch my breath.
I try to struggle to my feet, but Killian catches up and steps in front of me, preventing me from getting up or moving forward.
“You have to slow the fuck down, Connor.” The hard set of his jaw and the determination in his gaze says I’m not going one more step until he says whatever he has to say. “If you run up there and fly off the handle instead of going in calm, you could make a mistake.”
His words are so close to the ones I said to myself that night on the homestead that I collapse back to the ground, overwhelmed with the sights, sounds, and smells again.
Crimson blood flowing…
Gunshots that ring in my ears…
Cries of pain…
That coppery scent that will never leave my lungs…
Killian’s hand falls to my shoulder, and he squeezes it tightly. “Connor…”
I shake my head, trying to clear away all those horrific things swamping it. “I have to get up there and make sure she’s okay.”
“She might be totally fine. Just because the cabin was listed on the search sheet, doesn’t mean it got into the hands of the Lorells, or that they would even think to look up there.”
I continue to struggle to catch my breath, my chest burning as my eyes do as well, and when I finally look up at him again, I can see that he doesn’t really believe what he says, either. “Then how come as soon as you said those words, it felt like a ghost had walked over my grave?”
He presses his lips together and releases his hold on me to run his hands back through his sweaty hair.
“I don’t know. Just like I can’t figure out why you’re acting like this.
I’m worried, but I’m not losing my shit.
We’re talking about Raven—the woman you hate, the woman you can’t stand to be in the same goddamn room with. ”
I finally struggle to my feet with no help from my brother and practically growl at him. “Get the fuck out of my way.”
“Is that your only answer?”
It’s the only one I can give him. There isn’t any time to explain what did or didn’t happen between that feisty blond and me at the cabin, or to try to unravel the complicated feelings twisting me up inside.
I shove past him, intentionally knocking my shoulder against his. “What happened between me and Raven is none of your fucking business.”
“So, something did happen.”
Fuck.
I glance over my shoulder at him. “Did I give you shit like this when Willow came back?”
He raises a brow. “Yeah…”
“No, that was Liam. I let you be.”
Killian snorts, a grin playing at his lips. “A lot of good that did me.”
“Yeah, well, you have it all now, don’t you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”