Chapter 8
Sage
Sitting on my living room floor crossed-legged on a purple mat, I inhale deeply, nearly tasting the eucalyptus scent from my diffuser. I count to eight and exhale slowly through my mouth for another eight beats.
I’ve been trying to meditate for what feels like an hour, but it’s impossible to clear my mind.
Every time I close my eyes, I see Casey’s fingers gently fixing his father’s sheet, then reaching for my hand as we leave the hospital room.
My mind wanders to how he stared at me with those blue eyes in the elevator and kissed me slowly.
A shiver runs down my spine and I shake it off. But it’s no use, my body hums whenever he’s near, and my mind replays memories of him when he’s not.
A knock on the door startles me and I exhale once more. Rising, I raise my arms above my head and lift my chin to the ceiling, one final stretch before I end my practice.
Casey’s eyes are bright when I open the door, his smile broader than I’ve ever seen it.
“Good morning,” he says with his hands in his jean pockets.
“Morning.”
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yes, I just need to grab my sweater.” I reach over to the coat rack and grab a pullover I bought at one of the weekend markets.
“Where are we headed?” I ask when I step outside and breathe in the fresh air.
Covering his eyes, he looks up to the sky. “It’s a beautiful day, do you feel like going for a walk?”
I grin. “It’s my favorite thing to do.”
He reaches for my hand as we walk down the street. The front curtain in Mrs. Gibbons' house flutters, and I grin, imagining her racing to the phone.
With each step, I move closer to Casey until our arms touch from the top of my shoulder to my elbow, and then I clasp my other hand over our joined ones and lean in.
Casey squeezes my hand and it feels as though he’s squeezing my heart.
As we turn toward the road leading to the center of town, Casey’s stops.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing, I’m sorry. I just didn’t realize we were walking to town. It’s fine.”
“It’s warm out today. I’m thinking we can go to The Creamery. Or is that not allowed on your diet?”
“I think I can cheat this one time,” he teases and I’m not sure if he’s kidding, but his arm relaxes and we walk toward the shops and fountain.
It’s mid-week so the square isn’t busy, just a couple of people walking in and out of stores.
I spot Kyle, Mrs. Gibbons' nephew, and I wave when he squints in our direction. I wonder if he and his aunt will compare notes later. Casey doesn’t acknowledge him though, which I find strange.
“Didn’t you and Kyle go to school together?
You’re the same age, so I would think you were in the same class. ”
“Yeah, we did.”
“Oh.” Then without thinking much of it, I add, “I guess you weren’t friends.”
“You could say that.”
Casey quickens his pace, his cool response eliciting no further conversation about that. We head toward the ice cream shop, and he opens the door for me.
“Good morning, Mr. Davis,” I say as soon as I spot the elderly man behind the counter. His friendly demeanor never fails to put me in a good mood. Of course, his familiar green apron and cartoon cherry logo helps too.
“Good morning, Sage, and good morning to you, Casey.”
Casey smiles back and greets Mr. Davis with a warm welcome. “It’s good to see you again, sir.”
“Will it be the usual, Sage?”
“You bet, Mr. Davis. You know I never change my mind.”
“How about you, Casey? Would you like to try Sage’s favorite mint chocolate chip or will you stick to your usual Rocky Road?”
Casey looks down at me and his eyes dance mischievously. “I’d like to try the mint chocolate chip today, Mr. Davis.” Then he raises his eyebrows. “Lately, I find myself liking her taste very much.”
My cheeks burn even though his comment could be innocent enough.
“Come, let’s sit over here.” Casey chooses one of the tables at the back, furthest away from the door. Most people prefer to sit by the window and watch the town go by. Not Casey, though.
The man is a mystery. With my hand under my chin, I say, “Tell me about your time here at Cedar Brook Falls.”
Creases form on his forehead and his eyes soften. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know. What was your favorite spot when you were a kid? What did you do for fun? Who was your best friend?”
“It’s really not that deep,” he says, looking around and avoiding my eyes. “I don’t remember much.”
Huh.
I try to think of something else that would help me understand him better, but Mr. Davis calls out our names and Casey pushes back from his chair as though he couldn’t get away fast enough.
As usual, Mr. Davis packs the ice cream with three large scoops that are already dripping onto Casey’s hand. He grabs some napkins and licks one drop from the edge of his pinky finger. The act makes my stomach drop and I swallow. He stares at me and smiles. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.”
“No, it’s not nothing. You were definitely thinking about something, and I know what that something is.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It has nothing to do with your tongue.”
“Ha!” he shouts and shakes his head. “Oh, Sage. I love how you say exactly what’s on your mind. You know how to make me laugh.”
I blow a loose curl from my face. “I’m really not trying to.”
“And that’s what makes it so endearing.”
“Thank you.”
“Since you’re interested in asking questions, I have one for you. What made you get into physiotherapy?”
I lick my ice cream and think about his question, but the heat from his eyes makes it a little difficult to concentrate.
“Um… well… I’ve always appreciated how strong our bodies are and how they allow us to truly experience the world.
So, whenever someone came to yoga in pain or restricted by their movements, I wanted to find a way to help them get back to what they love most and sometimes just get back to living again. ”
Casey swallows and stares at me. “That’s another reason I find you so fascinating.
You look at something like work as a way of life, as a way to help others.
Not everyone is like that, especially not while you’re trying to excel at something.
You meet a lot of people who want to tear you down, not bring you up.
At least that’s been my life experience. ”
His words affect me and I’m not sure if the feeling is pity as I could never pity someone like Casey, but I do feel sad about what he’s experienced. He smiles, perhaps to lighten the energy, and he reaches for my hand again. It’s something I’ve come to expect in our short time together.
When we’ve finished our ice cream, Casey asks, “Want to keep walking?”
“Absolutely.”
Casey pulls out a fifty and leaves it on the counter.
“Thank you, Casey. I hope to see you soon.” Mr. Davis waves us off.
The bell rings as Casey pushes through the door and I squint at the brightness of the day.
Casey leads me through the square at a quick pace, not stopping at any of the shops until we’re clear of the center and walking toward the high school and baseball diamond.
We walk the track in silence for a little while until his pace slows down and his breathing becomes shallow as though he’s holding something back.
I lean my head against his arm and listen to his breath.
It’s shallow and quick. I wait, but not for long when he finally sighs.
“This is my favorite spot. Baseball is all I ever did for fun. And no, I didn’t have a best friend. I hardly had any friends really.”
I realize he’s answering my questions from the ice cream shop, and something in my heart flutters, knowing that sharing this with me is huge for him and I don’t take it lightly. But I’m confused.
“It’s hard to imagine you not having friends. You’re a social guy and a big part of the baseball team. I’ve always thought you a pretty popular person in this town. You’re all anyone talks about.”
He scoffs. “I hate it. It’s all so fake.”
“I don’t think–”
“It’s fake, Sage. I know it because when I wasn’t playing baseball, no one cared about me.
When I was just Casey, the kid with the learning disability, no one was lining up to be my friend.
In fact, kids like Kyle were the first to make fun of me whenever I had to read aloud in class.
I would avoid those lessons as often as I could, sneaking off to the bathroom or faking a cold and saying I lost my voice.
But everyone knew I couldn’t read. At least not for the longest time until my teacher figured it out and got me some help.
But the taunting at recess and after school was relentless even afterward. ”
“Oh, Casey, that’s terrible.” My heart broke for the bullied little boy.
“I started playing baseball, and everything changed after that. My whole life changed. I was good at baseball, great at it. Everyone wanted to hang around me and be my friend. But I knew it wasn’t real.
I swore the day I left this place that I would never come back.
Although I made an exception for my father, it’s still difficult to be here.
All those feelings are still inside of me, although buried deep down. ”
I stop walking and place my hand on his chest. “I’m sorry you went through all that.”
He shrugs. “It’s not like you were here. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I know, but all the same. I thought you were a jerk when you talked about this town, but I was wrong.”
He nods and looks past me toward the baseball diamond. “It feels good telling someone. I feel lighter in a way. Less angry, you know. I bet none of them even remember it.”
“Probably not. But you do.” I caress his hand. “Burdens from our past weigh heavy on our shoulders.”
He squeezes my hand and smiles. “I really like you, Sage Summers. I was wrong about you, too.”
Acting affronted, I place my hands on my hips. “Wrong? How?”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. “I thought you were just a hot yoga instructor. I didn’t know how kind and wise you were.”
I struggle to keep a smirk off my face, but it’s proving difficult. “Well, that’ll teach you never to presume anything about me, Casey Tucker. With an open mind, I might just keep surprising you.”
He shakes his head and stares into my eyes, then his hand caresses the side of my cheek. “I have no doubt about that.”