11. Bambi
BAMBI
What in the hell was I thinking?
I agreed to go on a date with Bikar. I mean…
he did use the situation to his advantage.
He was freaking dying, and I’m not so slow that I didn’t know exactly what he was doing.
Honestly, it was a moment of weakness after finding him in that state yesterday.
Whatever instinct led me to him also urged me to give him a chance.
The downside to agreeing to go out with him is we’re on a spaceship in the middle of the Void, headed to parts unknown, and I have nothing to wear.
I’m not sure why that’s what I’m fixating on, but it is. My limited wardrobe is laid out on my bed, and nothing seems nice enough to wear on a date with the guy who will literally die without you.
It’s a concept I’ve been actively avoiding for a while now. I saw what happened with Rowan and Einar’s relationship. It all worked out in the end, but to save his life, she sealed the bond before she was ready.
A muted alert at the door announces Heather’s arrival, effectively interrupting the circling garbage train of my thoughts. She sweeps into the room—I added her to my room permissions earlier today—and looks at me before laughing. “Sister, you should see the look on your face right now.”
Scowling, I flip my dark mass of curly hair over one shoulder.
“It’s not funny, Heather. He asked me out on a damn date.
We can’t actually go anywhere, and I’m not even sure I like him as a person.
And to make matters worse, I don’t have anything appropriate to wear.
What if he expects me to kiss him? Maybe I should just send him a message and cancel… ”
“No. You are most certainly not going to do that,” Heather states as she settles herself onto my couch. “It’s not something I talk about much, but it’s pertinent to your situation.”
Pausing, she stares at me for a second, tilting her head and nodding as if having an internal debate about something.
She sighs heavily, and her next comment sends a pang of guilt through me.
“I’ve told you that I was very much in love with my husband.
Bambi, sweetie, quit biting your lip like that or it’s going to come off.
If I didn’t want to talk about this, I wouldn’t. Okay?”
At my hesitant nod, she keeps talking; a melancholy smile full of memories relaxes her sharp features.
“What you don’t know is that our marriage was arranged by our families.
He was almost a complete stranger to me when we met, married, and consummated the union.
In fact, he wasn’t even my ‘type.’ I had to learn to love him for the person he was, not for what he looked like. ”
I slump onto the bed and stare at her in disbelief. “Oh, wow, Heather. I had no idea.”
Her answering smile is melancholy. “I fully believe all things happen for a reason. My husband was murdered, we escaped our hells, were abducted, and then rescued by these Ruks for a purpose, though we didn’t understand at the time.
Our planet is gone, Bambi. There is no going back, even if we wanted to, but God has given us the chance to have a life.
For you, he’s allowed you to experience love like you’ve never known before.
That doesn’t mean that it won’t take work, dedication, communication, and commitment.
Because it will. Just remember all things worth having are earned, not handed out. ”
Silence descends between us, giving me time to digest everything she said. It’s one of the things I love about Heather. She never rushes me into making a decision; she just offers information and allows me to come to my own conclusion.
“He apologized to me.”
Looking over at Heather, I see that she’s nodding. “That’s what you told me.”
The fact is, my father is dead and gone. So, why should I allow what he did to control what I do now? I’m a grown woman, free from anyone else’s control.
Do I really want to continue to let fear rule my life?
To be honest, Bikar is a massive male. He could have easily forced me, but he didn’t. He went about gathering information—albeit in a very underhanded way—instead of hurting me to seal our bond, which, in turn, would save his life.
I bounce these thoughts off Heather for her point of view. “He could have forced me to be his mate… but he didn’t.”
“You’re right, he could have. The fact that he didn’t speaks a lot about the type of person he is, and the moral values he holds,” she replies swiftly.
“I’m still not sure if he’s completely trustworthy, but you’re right. I can’t keep hiding my head in the sand and ignoring the situation, because it’s not going away.”
Heather’s face softens in understanding. “No, honey. It’s not going away, and refusing to acknowledge the situation does you no favors.”
Hopping off the bed to join her on the couch, I notice she’s wearing what looks like designer label clothes. “Not to change the subject, but where the heck did you get those duds? They look like something out of a magazine.”
Blue eyes fill with avarice as a cat that ate the canary smile pulls at her lips.
“Bestie, let’s go introduce you to this thing called CIP.
You don’t have a damn thing to worry about regarding clothes ever again, because it’ll create any outfit you want.
We’ve got plenty of time before Bikar is supposed to be here. So, let’s go shopping!”
Oh, dear… shopping on a spaceship. This really is my life now.