34. Bambi
BAMBI
Bikar’s announcement echoes throughout the shuttle—or the Scythe, I’m not sure when he decided to give this thing a name—so I grab Heather by the hand and pull her over to the wall.
“Bambi, what the heck? The Winged Wanker told us to sit down.”
“No, he told us to strap in. He showed me what to look for on the walls for landing seats.”
Dragging her along behind me, I inspect the wall of the dining hall until I find the little symbol that designates an emergency landing seat. Pressing the button, I smile at Heather’s surprised gasp when two seats appear out of the wall.
Glancing at her, I have to smile. “Bikar wanted to make sure I knew these existed in case of an emergency.”
Sitting, I show Heather how to fasten the straps across her chest. Just as I fasten the buckle, the entire shuttle shudders around us and my heart races with anxiety. “Heather…”
Reaching over, she grabs my hand and squeezes. “It’s okay, Bambi. Just a bit of turbulence. It’s not any different than flying on an airplane back on Earth.”
“I’ve never been on an airplane.”
“No, you’re a trendy bitch and skipped boring airplanes and jumped straight into intergalactic travel.”
Her quip makes me snort. “Thanks, bestie. Appreciate you.”
“As you should. I’m here for all your emotional support needs.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Heather cackles in reply, but she doesn’t let go of my hand until we feel Bikar land the shuttle. Cutting her eyes at me, she starts unbuckling the restraints.
“Did that big idiot of yours tell you what we’re supposed to do after we land? Also, when did this shuttle get a name? We’ve all been calling it ‘the shuttle’ since we boarded.”
“Ya know, I was thinking that myself. I guess Bikar wanted it to sound more official when he introduced us to the folks on Viri 9, or whatever they’re calling it now.”
Shaking her head, she hops out of the landing seat. “I swear that man is a hot mess express deluxe. If there’s one thing I know, you will never be bored with him around.”
Her casual observation makes me chuckle. “You’re not wrong. Not wrong at all.”
Looking around the dining hall, I see the other passengers are loitering around, acting just as unsure as we are about what comes next.
The lack of action is apparently too much for Heather. “Fuck this, let’s go find your idiot and see what’s happening. We’re not going to hang around here waiting for secondhand information.”
Following her out of the dining hall, I have to admit I’m a teensy bit excited to get off this spaceship and back on solid ground again.
My anxiety hasn’t been as bad as when we were first on the Zenith, but that’s because Heather and Bikar have made sure that I’m rarely alone… and a wave of clarity washes over me.
I’m rarely ever by myself these days.
Now that I think about it, the only time I’ve been alone is at night when I go to my room to sleep, or when I need to use the facilities.
My bestie and… boyfriend have been managing me.
I wait until Heather and I walk into the helm room to address them together. At the swish of the door, Bikar’s head twitches at the unexpected intrusion, but he doesn’t stop whatever it is he’s doing to acknowledge us.
Heather, in her usual fashion, swans in and starts talking. “Alright, what the hell is going on, Bikar?”
Stopping between them, I plant my hands on my hips. “Never mind that; we can get to it in a minute. I have a bone to pick with the two of you! Y’all have been managing me.”
Heather’s eyes widen, and Bikar’s entire body freezes before he slowly turns to look at me, face slack and wary. In a blink, his face shifts, and I know he’s about to spout some malarkey.
Slicing my hand through the air, I shut him up. “Bikar… so help me God, if you say something the slightest bit cajoling or sarcastic, I will make you eat ice cream for my own amusement.”
His silent gag of disgust would normally make me laugh, but right now I’m focused on other things. From the corner of my eye, I see Heather trying to slip out the door.
Whipping my head around, I pin her with a steely look. “Don’t even think about it. You’re on my list, too.”
Taking a deep breath, I try to find my center. “Have the two of you been coordinating behind my back to make sure I’m never by myself when I’m awake?”
“Little doe…”
“Bestie…”
“Stop. Stop. One at a time. Heather, you first since you told me Bikar was keeping you in the loop about our dates. You can expand on that.”
Swallowing audibly, Heather clears her throat. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen her look unsure of what to say.
“Bambi, it’s true that Bikar was letting me know details about your dates, but that was a precaution on his part. You didn’t know him or even like him at first. Bikar and I…”
She gestures over at him. “It’s not like we were having secret meetings behind your back or anything. There’s not a ton to do on this shuttle, and you’re my best friend. Spending our days together… was just a given to me. I swear to you that I wasn’t trying to manage you in any way.”
Rolling my lips between my teeth, I think about what she’s said before looking over at Bikar expectantly.
“What your Heather says is true. There is no conscious agreement between us. She is your sister of the heart, and you are the one who holds my hearts. Of course, we wish to spend our time with you. Bambi, you are light that brings humor and joy to those around you. You have my sincere apologies for how we inadvertently made you feel.”
“Ditto… what the Winged Wanker said.”
“Must you continue using that absurd moniker?”
“Why? Does it bother you… wanker?”
“Of course not, I am merely trying to quantify human colloquialisms and how they impact social relationships.”
“Uh huh. I call bullshit.”
I can’t help but snicker at their sniping. Looking between them, I can see Heather’s noticeably nervous, wringing her hands, and Bikar’s massive body is braced as if he’s expecting a blow.
I’m not really mad at them per se.
I just don’t like thinking I was doing so good and acclimating on my own, only to realize I haven’t made as much progress at adulting as I thought. It might also be a bit of trauma from being under my dad’s thumb my entire life, then the kidnapping and torture before escaping.
Fuck. I think I overreacted a little.
Scuffing the toe of my shoe on the floor, I admit as much. “Eh... So… pretty sure I may have overreacted a bit.”