Chapter 28 – Magnum
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Magnum
Ihold Damara’s body close to mine. I don’t want to let her go.
She’s the perfect person for me in so many ways that she doesn’t even realize.
It’s not just the physical side of things, which has only grown on me.
I love having somebody who understands having a hard past and choosing to leave it behind.
She’s smart and once the baby is here and we can have the grand opening for her business, I know Damara will thrive at running a team and being the queen of her own domain.
She has a maternal side too and I can’t imagine she’ll tolerate much nonsense in a child. I like that in a woman. She loves me, and she just confessed her warrants to me, but I feel the energy between us simmering with an unspoken something that I have the strongest urge to draw to the surface.
“What else is there, baby?”
“I’ve never told anybody about this part of my past,” she says with an uncharacteristically shaky voice. “Not even Tamiya.”
“You can tell me your sins, miss pink hair.”
I kiss her forehead again and enjoy how gentle that forehead kiss makes her. Just treating her with kindness brings this softer version of Damara out that feels special and different from the woman that the rest of the world gets to see.
“I’ve killed before, Magnum,” she whispers.
The way her body freezes, I know she isn’t lying, but this secret is big enough to nearly knock me off my fucking feet.
I was starting to get the picture of Damara’s rougher past, but murder wasn’t anywhere near what I suspected from her.
I hold onto her and let her confession hang in the air for a moment.
“Okay, baby.”
Because I’m no better than she is. I’ve taken a life before. Several, in fact.
“It happened twice,” she says. “Both ex-boyfriends.”
It’s not every day the woman you’re head over heels in love with confesses that she killed not one but two of her ex-boyfriends. My throat tightens in a lump.
“And I was married briefly. So… Unfortunately, I killed my ex-husband too. But we weren’t married for long.”
While the news of Damara’s previous marriage is definitely shocking, it’s not the craziest thing falling out of her mouth right now. I’m not concerned at all with the length of this marriage.
“You killed three of your exes?”
For the first time since getting close to Damara, doubt creeps into my head.
Three? I would understand if she killed one ex-boyfriend and I was willing to let a second one slide.
But at this point, I’m not so certain that Damara won’t find a way to end my life eventually.
She looks at me with concern at first which quickly morphs into disgust.
“Are you scared?” she snaps at me with annoyance and disgust. I get it.
She’s confessing the darkest parts of her soul to me and I want to react in a way that supports the woman I love.
And I’m not scared, exactly. I’m just absorbing the information fully that Damara appears to have a habit of ending the lives of the men she ends up with.
“No. Of course not, babe. I love you. Deeply.”
But Damara must know that this isn’t an easy pill for anyone to swallow.
I touch her shoulders and lean in close to her again, reminding myself that Damara’s past doesn’t change the warmth of the woman sitting in front of me.
She’s still pregnant with my baby. Still a damn good cook and even hotter in the bedroom.
My reassurance doesn’t work.
“I trust you. I swear.”
“So you don’t have any more questions?”
Is this woman out of her fucking mind? Of course I have more questions. Many parts of Damara’s dark past are fairly typical in my circle of outlaws. But this much murder from a woman is the furthest thing from what I would expect.
“I mean…”
“I knew you would overreact.”
I haven’t reacted yet. But I’m considering sleeping with one eye open until I get an investigation going into Damara’s past.
“There’s no legal record of any of that,” Damara says. “Or evidence. Trust me.”
Strangely, hearing that she killed three grown ass men and left behind no evidence doesn’t make me feel any better. I struggle to hide how uneasy this news makes me feel from Damara, who latches onto my reaction to justify her prickly behavior…
“See,” she says. “I told you. Some things are too dark.”
“It’s not that.”
I’m choosing my words carefully around her for a very good reason considering this news. But there’s no need to let her know all of that.
“I’ll keep you out of trouble in Texas. We’ll keep our heads down and stay off the main roads to avoid traffic stops or anything like that. Does that sound fair?”
“You really have no more questions?” Damara presses me. She doesn’t seem like a threat, but I believe her confession. There could be no benefit to her lying and I can tell these words have a weight to them that Damara doesn’t carry for anything else.
It all makes sense now. Her real secrets and her dark past really are this big black void of pain and hurt.
Everything else must seem so light and unimportant in comparison.
But her past might have also made her numb.
My efforts at affection have to break through her walls.
Never mind the fact that I’m far from perfect.
Too gruff. Too mean. Too many years alone to be ready for a relationship with a woman who deserves the world.
Despite all that, I have this chance with Damara that I desperately want to take.
Why? Why did this woman choose to take a life?
I can’t imagine her in those circumstances all covered in blood and pulsing with adrenaline.
I wish I could take away all the hurt being in that situation must have caused her.
I stare into her eyes as if I could find some answers behind Damara’s deep brown gaze. When I look at her, I feel this urge to wrap my arms around her and keep her close to me until our bodies become one.
“Three?” I finally ask after staying silent for too long. The single word gets caught in my throat, making me even more guilty. I promised this woman that her past wouldn’t scare me, but I couldn’t imagine that this small curvy woman could be… a killer.
Damara sighs and I watch the weight of her confession lift from her shoulders.
It relieves me to share some of her burden, but I still worry about all of it.
If I knew for myself that she wouldn’t get caught, it would be easier for me to accept.
I can’t bear the thought of anyone taking Damara away from me.
I’m scared of what I would do without her.
Then again, I’m somewhat scared of what this small, sometimes angry woman might do to me.
I extend outwards to draw her closer to me, finding Damara as reluctant to hold onto me as I would expect.
She has walls a mile high for a reason and this vulnerability is huge for her to share.
I know what it’s like to fear your darkness might push someone else away, but my past is just as dark as hers, if not worse.
All I want with Damara is to keep her close to me and protect her from her past… even if she might not need it.
Reluctantly, she finally allows me to draw her body close to mine in some form of embrace.
I won’t have to hold back from touching her or enjoying those curves when we’re on this road trip together.
Each night we spend in a hotel room I fully intend to enjoy her curves.
And the scent of her hair. The closeness appears to relax her a bit and she finally responds to my inquisitive Three?
“I’m not evil,” she whispers.
“I never said you were,” I murmur, kissing the top of her head and getting instantly hard as the scent of her shampoo wafts its way into my nostrils.
I am a broken man to get instantly hard after finding out the mother of my child killed three of her exes.
I wonder if that pink hair might have been a red flag…
I wrap the ends around my fingers and twirl as I look at the pregnant murderer standing before me. My dick throbs.
If she’s a black widow, I am her willing prey.
“I didn’t realize I had a serial killer on my hands,” I mutter, intending to tease her a little bit but earning a glare from Damara that makes me wonder if I’m next. She swats my hand away from her hair and I feel a rush of adrenaline that’s far more related to excitement than fear.
I am one fucked up country boy. Damara gives me a glare that scares the shit out of me and makes my dick throb at the same time. Her voice is serious with a tinge of sadness that makes me feel guilty for being so casual about it all.
“Trust me, nothing I did was for my pleasure.”
“Most women who kill a man do it because he was beating up on ‘em. I used to know a lot of cops and they’d have stories.”
Damara rolls her eyes and swiftly answers, “Cops aren’t the good guys either.”
“You didn’t kill any of them, did you?”
Her glare makes my heart and dick throb at the same time. Again, I’m a broken man about how I feel for this woman. She makes me crazy and the worst part is that I fucking love the feeling.
“No, you asshole,” she says. “I never killed any cops. Just men who hurt me. And other women. And kids.”
Goosebumps break out over her skin and I reel her in for another hug. She doesn’t pull away this time and the warmth from having Damara’s body close to mine spreads.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Then we’ll go to Texas and lay low. I’ll keep you safe.”
Once she’s honest, I can keep her safe. The only thing I can’t work with is outright lies. Her closeness makes me kiss the top of her head again and Damara sighs, leaning into my embrace. I love her so much it hurts.
“All I ask is that if you need somebody to kill for you this time, I’m the one you call.”
“That won’t happen,” she mutters, moving her body closer to mine and allowing me to wrap my arms around her. My body aches with how much I love this woman.
“Good,” I whisper.
“Magnum?”
“Yes, Damara?”
“I love you.”
Let’s hope nothing we find over at Deacon Hollingsworth’s place changes that. The uncertainty of it all makes me cling to this woman tightly knowing that in an instant, everything could get ripped away.