Chapter Nineteen – Chelsea
When I woke the next morning, back in my own bed, it was to the sound of my father in the room next door—and I could tell from the way he was muttering to himself that he was seriously, seriously pissed.
I sprang out of bed as quickly as I could, ignoring the sickening twist of nausea in my stomach. I would have to get used to this morning sickness. It seemed like it was going to be a standard-issue part of my pregnancy, after all, and I didn’t want to let myself make excuses. I hadn’t heard my father that angry in a long time, and I knew—I was sure—what he was so mad about.
And I couldn’t let him go through with it.
When I told Zane about the pregnancy, the way he had reacted, I knew at once I couldn’t do this without him. I wanted him there as part of this journey. I wanted to see the man I knew he could become, the man who hid out underneath all of the bullshit he had been through, the front he tried to put forward.
But if my father killed him, I was never going to get a chance. I didn’t know how, but I had to talk my father out of this revenge he had planned before something terrible happened.
I burst into the living room, and sure enough, I found my father standing there, leather jacket draped over one shoulder—and a gun in the other.
“Where did you get that?” I blurted out. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see him brandishing a weapon like that right there in front of me, but it did shock me to see him holding it. He had always gone out of his way to try and hide this part of his life from me, but clearly, he didn’t feel like he had to any longer.
He didn’t even look up as he loaded it, the bullets gleaming in the morning sunlight.
“I’m dealing with Zane. Once and for all.”
“Dad, please, you have to listen to me,” I pleaded. “Don’t hurt him. He’s learned his lesson. He’s not going to do this again, and—”
His head snapped up, his eyes dark with anger.
“How the hell do you know that?” he demanded. “You keep saying that like you know him!”
“Because I do know him!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. He narrowed his eyes at me, still holding the gun. Even though I knew he would never in a million years have directed it at me, there was still something scary about the way he was hanging on to it.
“What do you mean ‘you know him’?” he asked me, his voice dropping. “You knew him before he took you?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not like that.” Fuck, all of this was such a mess, I didn’t know how to explain it to him. Maybe it would be easiest just to tell him the truth...
But the way he was staring at me, I wouldn’t have trusted him not to take that truth and use it as an excuse to put a bullet in Zane’s head. He seemed so out of control right now. I had never seen him like this—but then, I guessed, nobody had ever threatened me. In all the time he had worked for the Dogs, this was the first time someone had come after me, and maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was so furious about it.
“Then what is it like?” he asked, taking a step toward me. It was almost a dare, a dare to come out and tell him what was really in my head when I felt like I couldn’t admit to a word of it. I felt like he would flip his shit on me if he had any idea.
“I just... I think you should give him a chance,” I continued, the words spilling from my mouth without a second thought. “He’s been through a lot. And he wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t lost his brother. The Dogs, they killed him, he worked for Lombardi—”
“He’s associated with that asshole?” my dad cut me off. “No wonder he kidnapped you. I know what those fuckers are like...”
“No, no, it’s not like that.” I quickly shook my head. “He’s... his brother was a part of it, but that’s it. He never was. He never would be. He was such a mess after he lost the last of his family. He had to become this…this person to survive everything he’s been through, but there’s more to him than that. He’s shown me there’s more to him than that. He’s got kindness in him, decency. He took care of me when he didn’t have to—”
“No family?” he muttered. “Then nobody’s going to miss him—”
“He has family!” I exploded. “He’s got me. And... and the baby.”
Oh fuck. As soon as I said those words, I knew I should have thought better. They hung in the air between us, and I wished I could snatch them back, cram them somewhere my father would never find them.
Shit, shit, shit!
His eyes darkened, his jaw tightening as he wrapped his head around what I’d just said.
“The baby?” he demanded, placing the gun down on the table. I hesitated, then nodded. No point denying it now. If I was going to keep this kid, then he was going to find out about it one way or another, and it was better that I was straight with him. I wanted him to be part of this child’s life, even though I could tell that was going to be tough for him in light of what he had just discovered.
“Yeah, the baby,” I confessed, planting my hands on my stomach and then glancing back up at him. “I... I’m pregnant, Dad.”
“With his child?” he spat back at me. I nodded. I realized, as I stood there before him, that I was trembling.
“He raped you?” he demanded.
“No, no, it wasn’t like that,” I assured him. “I... I wanted it, Dad. I wanted him. I...”
“He brainwashed you,” he snarled back. “He used you and brainwashed you and—”
“No, he didn’t! Why can’t you see that I’m a grown woman, Dad, and I can make my own decisions! I liked him, and we were... together, and I don’t want him to get hurt or killed because I want him to be there for our baby!”
“You really think a man like that could ever be a father to your child?” he snapped.
“You were.”
He stopped dead.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that there are a lot of people out there who would never have thought you were capable of taking care of a child,” I continued, voice shaking. I knew this was a risky approach, but that was fine by me. I knew I was going to have to take some risks if I was going to get through to him. I couldn’t lose Zane. I couldn’t.
“With you being part of the Dogs, all the shit you’ve had to do to make a living for us,” I went on, “people would have thought you couldn’t be a father. But you were. And a good one, at that. You don’t think he deserves to have the same chance?”
I couldn’t read the expression on his face in that moment. I didn’t even know if I wanted to. Had I gotten through to him? Had it been enough...?
He turned on his heel and stormed toward the door.
“Dad, where are you going?” I called after him.
He stopped and, without turning around, replied. “To speak to Zane.”
And, with that, he pulled the door shut and locked it behind him, leaving me trapped in the apartment, helpless to rescue the man I loved.
I planted my hands against the wood of the door, but I knew crying out for help wouldn’t have done anything. Whatever choice he made, it was done now.
And I couldn’t do anything to convince him otherwise. I just had to pray that he would see where I was coming from before it was too late.