Chapter 9 #2
“I believe it, too,” I hurriedly assured him. “I know what I said about people not changing, but I meant people like Cade. Not you.” I kissed him with as much love as I could muster. “Never you.”
“I meant what I said about not going anywhere, Melissa.” He nuzzled his nose to mine.
“I’m committed to you. Whatever you want, I'll give you.” He reached over and shoved aside the pile of mail.
He flicked through the pieces until he found what he was looking for and brought it up in front of my face.
“You don’t need this. I’ll give it to you. ”
My eyes focused on the pamphlet lettering—and I nearly died. It was another mailer from one of the sperm banks I had contacted for information. I snatched it out of his hands and tried not to melt from sheer embarrassment. “It’s not what it looks like!”
He gave me a strange look. “It looks like you’re trying to buy sperm.”
“I was, but I’m not now.” I cringed at how goofy and pathetic I must have seemed to him. “It was before I met you, Shane.”
“Hey.” Gently, he placed two fingers under my chin and tilted my head so we were looking at each other again. “Just tell me.”
“I want a baby,” I confessed breathlessly.
“I want to be a mom.” Tears burned and spilled onto my cheeks.
“I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was twenty-three, but it was never the right time.
I was working on my master’s degree. He was in medical school.
Then he was an intern and a resident and there was always some excuse, some reason why he didn’t want to have a baby with me.
” I drew in a broken breath and admitted, “It’s because of my mom.
That’s why he didn’t want kids with me.”
“Your mom?” Shane frowned with confusion.
“She lost a baby when I was really young.” I sniffled at the memories that seemed almost dreamlike now, jumbled pieces of a life I could barely remember. “It was a stillbirth, and mental health care wasn’t the way it is now. They basically just sent her home and expected her to get over it.”
“But she didn’t,” Shane murmured with understanding.
“Today, she would have been diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, but back then?” I shrugged helplessly.
“My dad tried. I know he did, but he’s not a doctor or a psychiatrist. He took her for counseling with the priest. Father Ricardo warned him to get her to the hospital, that she was unwell and needed real help, but Mom panicked.
She was paranoid by that point, and she just.. .”
“She what?” He tenderly stroked my face.
“She ran out into traffic, screaming that my dad was a demon and that Father Ricardo was the devil. They tried to stop her, but she was moving so fast.” I closed my eyes as I imagined a chaotic scene that I had thankfully not witnessed in real life.
“My dad says she was dead before she ever hit the pavement and definitely before the second and third cars hit her.”
“Jesus,” Shane swore softly. “I had no idea, Melissa.”
“We don’t talk about it.” I swallowed hard. “I didn’t even know the truth until I was, like, fourteen. I stumbled upon it on accident, and Dad couldn’t hide it anymore. He told me the whole thing. He’s never forgiven himself for failing her like that.”
“He didn’t fail her,” Shane insisted. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. She was sick and in pain.”
“I know, and I’m sure he knows that, too.” I shrugged. “It’s just hard to let that kind of guilt go.”
“I understand.” If anyone could understand guilt and regret for mistakes, it was him. Carefully, he asked, “And that’s why Cade wouldn’t have a baby with you?”
“He never said it explicitly, but he would make these remarks about dogs and puppies and breeding out bad genes.”
Shane gritted his teeth. “I might kick his ass just for the hell of it.”
“Shane,” I warned, eyeing him in that way I reserved for my unruly students. “He’s not worth it.”
“Maybe not, but it would make me feel better.” He took the mailer from my hand and tore it in half. He let the pieces fall and then placed his hands on my hips. Lowering his head, he kissed me tenderly. “You want a baby?”
My heart fluttered, and my core pulsed. “I want a baby.”
“All right.” He nodded resolutely.
My eyebrows soared. “All right?”
“Yep.” He crouched slightly, slipped his hands under my skirt and gripped the backs of my thighs. I squealed as he lifted me and ordered, “Wrap your legs around me.”
“What? Now?” I wound my legs around his waist as he carried me to the breakfast nook table that was decidedly sturdier than the old antique in my dining room. “I’m not even ovulating!”
“So?” He placed me on the short square table and snatched up the vase of zinnias and dahlias. He moved it to the kitchen counter where it would be safe. We had learned the hard way that our wild activities put my vases and other glassware at risk. “We’ll practice.”
“Shane!” I laughed, a big belly laugh filled with joy and excitement. “You’re serious?”
“Sure as hell am.” He walked back to me, shucking his cut and unbuckling his belt. “I love you, and if you want a baby, that’s what you’re going to get.”
“You’re crazy!” My body trembled with anticipation and need. Already, I could feel the wet heat seeping from me.
“Crazy for you, darlin’.” He dropped to his knees in front of the table and shoved my skirt up around my waist. He gave my panties a tug, nearly ripping the waistband.
I clucked at him, and he offered an apologetic smile.
I lifted my backside, using my hands for leverage, and he dragged my underwear down my legs.
He threw them over his shoulder, and I frowned at the absolutely feral way he acted sometimes.
Not that I minded when he was using that feral energy on me.
As he shoved my thighs apart and buried his face in my pussy, I cried out and fell back against the table. “You know this isn’t how babies are made, right?”
“Hush,” he growled against my clit, and I erupted in a fit of giggles that didn’t stop until he wrapped his soft lips around my swollen nub and sucked hard.
All laughter was forgotten as he worked me with his tongue.
He had memorized the key to unlocking my orgasms, and I was powerless to resist him.
His tongue fluttered over my clit, and two of his fingers probed into me.
They slid in effortlessly. I still couldn’t understand how he made me react like this, made me so wet that I would practically beg for water when we were finished.
He just had to look at me in that smoldering way, and I was a mess.
I clutched his head, scratching at his scalp in the way he liked. He groaned against my clit, and the vibrations sent me right over the edge. It shocked me, actually. He always made me come fast, but this was a record even for him.
The waves of pleasure jolted through me, and he just kept going, kept sucking my clit and rubbing his tongue over the sensitive pearl until my back arched and my hips came up off the table.
A second orgasm hit, and the two fingers inside me thrust against my G-Spot. I saw stars. I fucking howled like a wolf in heat. I came screaming his name and clawing at his shoulders. He groaned again, hungrily lapping at me and made sure I was limp and boneless with bliss before he stopped.
I fought to catch my breath as he unleashed his huge cock. He pushed his jeans and boxers down a few inches, just enough to free himself. He stroked his cock, wrapping his thick fingers around his tool and working the impressive length.
We had gone to a clinic earlier that week to get testing done. He hadn’t been thrilled by the idea, but he hadn’t fought or argued. He had even made the appointments to make sure we could get it done.
Which was why I didn’t hesitate to spread my legs for him now. We were safe and committed, and there was no reason not to let him try to breed me.
God, even thinking about the word had me panting for him. Breeding. A baby. Our baby.
I grabbed his hips, impatiently dragging him closer.
He chuckled darkly and smacked the fat head of his cock against my clit.
I gasped at the dirty move, but secretly, I loved it.
I looked down and watched as he pushed his dick into me, feeding me just the tip before he withdrew.
I whimpered, and he shushed me with gentle words.
“Easy, baby. I’m going to give it you.” He pushed in a few more inches. “I’m going to give it all to you.”
“Please, Shane,” I begged. “Come inside me.”
He growled like a damn bear and thrust inside me, sheathing himself right to the hilt. I gasped at the deep intrusion and watched in wonder as his cock moved in and out of me. My heart raced. My face flamed. My pussy clenched around him. “Shane.”
My whine had him shifting his angle and picking up the pace.
I couldn’t stay up on my palms, not with the punishing strokes he delivered.
I dropped back onto the table, flat on my back, and brought my heels up to the edge.
I let my thighs fall apart a little more, and he insinuated himself fully between them.
He was so deep inside there was a bite of pleasure/pain with each snap of his hips.
I couldn’t get enough. I gripped his T-shirt in my fist. His hand came to my face.
He dragged his thumb across my lower lip, and I sucked on it, mimicking the way I had sucked his cock last night.
He groaned, the sound harsh and untamed.
He left his thumb in my mouth, letting me suck on it as he fucked me like the wild, wicked man he was.
I was too overwhelmed to climax again. Everything about this was too much, too heady, too real. I simply held on as he wrecked me, slamming into me over and over again while chasing his own release.
“You want my baby?” Shane growled, the tendons in his neck taut.
“I want your baby,” I breathily answered. “Give me your baby, Shane.”
“Fuck.” He groaned, the guttural sound almost inhuman, and spilled his seed inside me. He was deeper than I had ever felt him, filling me with each pump of his hips. My head nearly exploded with the incredible excitement of the moment, of the very real possibility that he might have succeeded.
He shuddered with aftershocks, and I sat up, wrapping my arms and legs around him. “I love you, Shane.”
“I love you, Melissa.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you so much.”
I stroked the back of his head and peppered his handsome face with kisses. He captured my mouth in a kiss that promised so much love and tenderness. It was a kiss that promised decades of this, of the two of us building a life together.
“You know I’m gonna marry you, right?” he asked, still buried inside me.
I smiled up at him. “I figured.”
“I want the whole married life with you,” he assured me. “This,” he said, sharing an erotic kiss, “but the other stuff, too. The quiet nights on the couch while you read. Doing the lawn together on Saturdays. Taking the kids to the beach and building sandcastles.”
“Kids?” I seized on it, realizing he wasn’t thinking about just one baby.
Shane laughed and placed the sweetest kiss on the tip of my nose. “Well, hell, darlin’, as good as we are at this, there’s no chance we stop at one.”
I grinned at the thought of this house filled with noise, with laughter and running and little voices yelling out for Mom and Dad.
As we tidied up a few minutes later, I suddenly remembered another baby situation. “Oh, shit! Shane! I forgot all about Daisy’s baby!”
He frowned. “Daisy? From the book club? The little blonde?” He placed his hand around his lower chest to estimate her height. “That works at your school, too?”
“Yes. Her.”
He frowned even harder. “She’s just a kid, isn’t she? What? Twenty?”
“Twenty-two,” I clarified. “Almost twenty-three.”
“And she’s pregnant?” When I nodded, he asked, “What’s that got to do with me?”
“Well, the thing is, the baby’s father? She met him at your bar.”
Taken aback, Shane asked, “The night we met?”
I shook my head. “No, a few weeks before that.”
He listened intently as I told him the whole story. Realization dawned as I described the baby daddy in question. His mouth settled into an irritated line. “His name is Nick. LEO is the name his home club gave him. Law Enforcement Officer,” he spelled out. “He’s an ex-cop. DEA, actually.”
I blinked in shock. “You have an ex-DEA agent hanging around the bar?”
“It’s a neutral zone.” Shane shrugged. “We accept all types, even cops.” He glowered with distaste. “Although, if I knew he was messing around with young girls, I would have had him barred from the front door.”
“She’s an adult,” I reminded him, hating the way we all kept forgetting that she had chosen Leo—Nick—that night.
“Barely,” Shane argued. “And he’s old enough to know better than to go around raw dogging a bit of strange in a bar bathroom!”
“Ew! Shane!”
“Sorry.” He apologized by giving me a hug. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.” I scowled up at him. “You better not go around telling people we’re trying to make a baby with that kind of language.”
Now, he was the one who looked offended. “I wouldn’t dare. What we do is private.” He hugged me tighter. “Besides, you’re my old lady. That’s a place of respect. I wouldn’t ever think of it like that with you.”
“You better not,” I warned.
“I know what’s good for me,” he promised.
“So, can you help Daisy find him?”
“I can do better than that.” Shane retrieved his phone from his back pocket. With his arm slung around me, he scrolled through his contacts and tapped the screen. He lifted his phone to his ear and waited.
A few rings later, he said, “Leo? Yeah. It’s Slinger.
No. No. Your bike’s fine. It’s still locked up in Jace’s shop.
Yeah. No, I’m calling about something else that happened when you were here last. Margie’s bar bathroom.
A cute, young blonde. Ring any bells? Uh-huh.
Yeah, I bet. Well, brother, I hope you’re sitting down. ..”