Chapter 36 – Janelle
Chapter Thirty-Six
Janelle
Boston, MA
Iwake up to the smell of fresh espresso. Yum. I think it’s a part of my dream at first, then I feel the soft fluttering of butterfly wings against my cheek. Not butterfly wings…
“Wake up, angel.”
Zeb. He left last night to handle some club business and I promised him that I wouldn’t fall asleep before he got back. Ugh. Considering the last thing I remember was testing myself on anatomy flashcards, I missed staying up. And he still surprised me with a full mug of coffee.
“I’m awake.”
“Hm,” he whispers. “Good. I’ve been up all night waiting for you.”
“Are you serious?”
“I slept for two hours. Come on… I made breakfast too.”
He was not joking about breakfast. Zeb eats about as much as a horse every single day. There are sausages, fried eggs, bagels, home fries, various sauces for the home fries, pico de gallo, and bacon. Breakfast is not a game in Zebulon’s household.
“Eat up, Mrs. Blackwood.”
I feel like I’m living in a dream. I never knew relationships could be like this until Zeb and I moved to our new place in Boston. We have been officially married for two weeks. I thought I would get scared and want to run again, but I just want to make a home with him.
For the first time in my life, I don’t have to work.
My LPN-to-RN program starts in two months and Zeb suggested that I take the time off to get settled into our new place.
He doesn’t really let me say no and he points out that he’s not making me quit my job forever, he just understands that all of our travel and marriage might be exhausting.
It’s like he’s so in tune with my feelings that I don’t have to explain them.
He just understands what to do for me before I even tell him.
It’s incredible to feel seen like this.
“Why did you stay up all night?”
“I missed you. That’s why,” Zeb says. “What did you get up to yesterday?”
“Nothing worth losing sleep over.”
Zeb comes over and kisses the top of my forehead. “That’s because you don’t know how much I miss you when you’re away from me.”
My heart does a little flip again. I hug Zeb back.
“Fine,” I whisper. “I started reading The Housemaid by Freida McFadden. I want to read the book before watching the movie.”
“You want to spend ten hours getting to the ending instead of two?” Zeb asks with a smile on his face, like he finds my reading habit cute and mystifying. I don’t know if reading might be difficult with one eye, and I don’t want to ask.
“Yes,” I tell him. “The books are better.”
“Hm. Maybe I’ll try a book.”
“You say that like it’s weird.”
“Hard to read when you’re on a bike. Or in the Army.”
I’m sure plenty of people in the army read, but I’m not going to argue with Zeb if he’s taking an interest in my hobby.
“Fair enough.”
Zeb chuckles. “Anything else except reading?”
“Um… I haven’t had time off like this basically my whole life. It feels nice.”
“If you want more time off, we could have a baby.”
“Zeb. You do realize that a baby is a lot of work. Forever.”
“Yes but… you get ten months off if you want. I’m just saying.”
I look at Zeb, dumbfounded, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by his interest in a baby. He’s never hidden the fact that he’s family-oriented and has a relatively strong Christian background. I can’t think of a baby before I make it through my nursing program, but I don’t want to disappoint Zeb.
He kisses the top of my forehead again. My heart thumps nervously.
“It might be better to wait until you’re done with school,” he says. “I know how important your education is to you.”
And just like that, I remember – he’s my person. I don’t have to question Zeb’s interest in my well-being. I don’t have to question him at all. He understands me in ways that I never expected.
“I would appreciate that.”
“Okay,” he says. “I’m going to take a quick shower… But after that, I have plans for you and I today…”
“Plans?”
“A surprise,” Zeb says. “I think you’ll like it.”
I don’t know what Zeb could have in mind, but I let him wander off and take that shower.
Knowing what little I do about what Zeb and his club get up to…
it’s best that he cleans up first. I refresh my mug of coffee and sit down with The Housemaid again.
Who did they say Amanda Seyfried would play again? I have loved her ever since Mean Girls.
Three pages into the book and a fist pounds aggressively on our front door.
I assume it’s one of Zeb’s friends trying to stuff back an initial prickle of irritation.
I guess I can’t expect perfect manners from those guys…
but Isaac and Ethan are the bikers with the most stable residences in Boston and they are definitely old enough to have learned some etiquette.
I walk over to the front door and yank it open.
The sense of security I built up with my husband got too strong because I had completely forgotten the ghosts of my past still lingering on the streets of Boston.
“Rakeem?”
What the hell is this man doing here? How did he find me?
My body responds to seeing him with immediate revulsion and regret.
I wonder what I ever saw in him. There’s no point in even visually comparing him to Zeb.
Even with one eye, my husband has a far more handsome face.
And a much kinder one, despite his toughness.
“I knew we would find our way back to each other,” Rakeem says, smiling at me like he’s genuinely happy to see me, like he can’t see that his presence is making me nauseous.
I never understood what the younger girls at work meant about “getting the ick” until I saw Rakeem standing there with that goofy, pleased with himself smile on his face.
“I… I’m sorry, what are you doing here?”
“I thought we could talk things out.”
I’m married.
“We can’t.”
I’m married, but that’s not the only reason I don’t want to talk to him.
I stare at Rakeem with this deep sense of sadness for the person I was when I was with him.
I didn’t understand what it was like to be loved.
To truly have someone support me. With Zeb, I don’t have to choose between our relationship or my career.
He would kneel down and support me through becoming a nurse or…
anything. I don’t have to shrink myself to be with him.
After everything I gave up to be with Rakeem, he couldn’t even love me back.
He cheated on me. He didn’t want me properly while we were together…
Why should I give him a chance now? Because he wants it?
Because the dust has settled and now that things are going well for me he thinks he can weasel a way back into my life?
That man had better pray my husband doesn’t catch him in the doorway. My heart rate quickens as that instinctive thought intrudes into my head. I know Zebulon has a crazy streak and feels very little need to justify his craven desires for blood once he feels some type of danger or offense.
“I brought you flowers?”
He looks so pleased with himself. But my heart sinks. The red flowers are totally wilted and… Zeb got me new flowers a few days ago and hand-selected each rose for me at the florist. Even Rakeem’s efforts to win me back have the whiff of being… an after thought.
“I… I can’t accept these Rakeem. And you should probably go.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Our relationship ran its course and…” I can feel the old pain swelling in my chest. I’m trying to be respectful but… I just want him to go. “There’s nothing left here. I moved on.”
His face changes. I notice a flicker of darkness across his face and his hand tightening on the sad grocery store bouquet.
There must have been happier flowers, even at the grocery store, but those weren’t the ones he chose.
His tongue travels around the front of his jaw.
My heart pounds as I hear the loud thud of the shower turning off upstairs.
Sound travels in this condo.
“If you don’t want to talk because of your roommate–”
“I don’t have a roommate, Rakeem. I’m married and I don’t want to–”
He scoffs. “What? You’re married?”
The tone in his voice bothers me. My voice stiffens.
“You’d better go.”
“You’re no better than me then.”
“Rakeem. We’re done. We’ve been done.”
And it might already be too late for you if Zeb happened to look out the window and see whatever Uber or Citi Bike you rode in on…
“No way for you to get married unless you were getting some the whole time,” he says, shaking his head. “I knew it.”
Knew what? Some shit he made up in his head?
“Good bye, Rakeem.”
He dashes the flowers on the floor and storms off. It’s like a series of invasive vines unclenching from around my chest. I watch him disappear and hear some type of animal-growl from the stairwell that makes me wince.
I retreat a step back into the house and pull the door shut, nearly jumping out of my skin when I hear Zeb’s voice behind me.
“Who was that?” he asks. I flinch and turn around.
“God, you scared me.”
“Isaac?” he asks, shaking the water out of his hair, which looks very silly when it’s all wet and spiky on his head. It’s hard to hold back a laugh at such a serious man having hair like this.
“No. They got the wrong address.”
“Okay,” he says. “Come here.”
I go over to him and Zeb hugs me, kissing me on the forehead. “If it’s someone I need to worry about, I’ll just check the security cameras and send the boys after him. Nothing to worry about.”
Fuck… I forgot about the cameras.
“I’m not scared of anything,” I whisper. “I have you.”
My hand wanders over to Zeb’s bare stomach, so chiseled that it feels impossible for a man to actually look and feel so…
natural and cut. His body is unlike any other that I’ve held or touched.
From the first moment I saw Zeb with his shirt off, I suddenly became one of those women who cares how sexy a man looks because damn.
He makes my mouth water, especially standing over me like this with nothing but his towel slung low around his hips.
My hand moves down to the top of Zeb’s towel, barely pretending to be subtle about it. He chuckles.
“You’re not scared at all,” he murmurs. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you want me naked.”
“Did I say that?”
“I know the woman I love,” Zeb whispers. “Come on, angel… I’ll take you to the bedroom and wake you right up…”
My heart does what feels like a double flip.
Zeb’s fingers interlock with mine and I look up at his face, letting the comfort and warmth that I feel with him spread through me.
I wouldn’t give this up for anything. And I certainly wouldn’t give it up for a man who cheated on me.
Let’s hope for his sake that Rakeem never comes back here.
Zeb’s taut, muscular ass cheeks beckon me to scamper behind him towards the bedroom.
He has a purposeful, intense strut, always eager for the bedroom.
Together, we tumble into our king sized bed, covering each other in kisses.
He smells so good. Like soap. Like fresh skin, slightly pink from the warm shower.
His chest is flushed a deeper shade of red and his lips are just… perfect.
My hands roam over Zeb’s body as I make every effort to hold him close to me.
I get to the small, inverted portion of his back which then extends into Zeb’s thick, meaty ass cheeks and this powerful new urge enters my awareness.
I want this man’s babies. I have never felt such a powerful desire to breed, but the thoughts enter my consciousness with disturbing power.
I want him to fill me with his seed and bond him to me forever.
My nails sink into his ass cheeks and Zeb makes an animalistic grunt that worsens my desire for a more primal rutting between the two of us.
Our bodies move together as he moves with a slow rhythm and fucks me into the bed.
I’ve never felt this powerful desire to breed and have a baby before, but something about having this big sexy biker on top of me makes me want… more…
He kisses me and my pussy clenches around his dick as I swivel my hips and silently beg Zebulon to pump his cock into me deeper and finish inside me.
He responds to my silent pleading by sliding his tongue into my mouth and fucking me harder.
Faster. I moan loudly as Zeb’s cock hits my sweet spot.
He’s so thick and pumping so deep inside me that I am downright desperate to climax.
I dig my nails deeper into his flesh, pulling him closer, begging for Zeb to just go… deeper…
“Take my dick, angel,” he whispers. “Come on…”
With that, he slides deeper. Zeb’s massive cock slams into a new sweet spot and drags me over the edge of a massive, trembling climax. A warm gush explodes between my legs as pleasure twists and turns throughout my body. Zeb holds me closer and kisses me while I cum, urging me to lose control.
“I’m almost there,” he grunts as he keeps fucking me hard, letting me ride out the waves of pleasure as he continues sliding his massive pole between my legs. “So close, angel…”
I pull him close again and feel Zeb’s body shudder as an equally intense orgasm takes control over him.
I love watching this big sexy man cum and turn from a wall of muscle into something soft and vulnerable.
I wrap my ankles around him and kiss him as he groans and erupts with thick ropes of cum between my legs.
This is perfect. The warm gush settles in a thick puddle inside me and I pull Zeb closer, feeling downright confessional as more of his cum coats my inner walls.
Just when I’m ready to speak my mind, Zeb talks first.
“I want to have a baby with you,” he whispers. “Really fucking badly.”
I laugh and Zeb kisses the top of my forehead. He keeps his cock firmly planted between my legs.
“What’s so funny?”
“I wanted to say the same thing.”
He chuckles and kisses me on the lips. It feels good. Especially with our bodies still pressed together like this.
“It’s a sign,” he whispers. “We’re in love and on the same page.”
He kisses me again.
“Any man who would let you go doesn’t deserve you, Janelle. If you want a baby, I’ll give you a baby…”
Zeb pulls out of me and we spend what feels like the rest of the day trying for that baby…