Chapter 12 Rosalie
ROSALIE
I arrive at the café a few minutes before noon and spot Sylvie seated at a corner table, already sipping a mimosa. She raises her glass, grinning, as I slide into the chair across from her.
“You’re allowed to drink now?” I raise a teasing brow, taking a sip from the glass she had the courtesy of ordering for me.
“Yes…” My cousin rolls her eyes. “I pumped right before I left the house, and I’ll pump and dump as soon as I get home.
There’s plenty of milk in the fridge to last all day if need be.
The girls were both napping during my last pumping sesh, so Hudson ate me out while I was doing it. Orgasms really get the milk flowing.”
“Jesus,” I sputter, practically spraying champagne and OJ all over the table. “Warn a girl, will ya?”
“Have you met me?” Sylvie gives me a wry look.
I raise my champagne flute. “Touché.”
I’ve truly never met someone with less of a filter, at least around adults.
Nothing is off-limits with Syl. Her husband’s newfound lactation kink, what it was like to take her first poop after giving birth, the exact length and girth of said husband’s penis, you name it.
She’s an open book and completely shameless about it.
But Hudson takes it all in stride, smiling at his new bride like she’s the best thing since cavemen learned how to make fire.
“All right, spill it, bitch,” she says with a mischievous glint in her eye. “I’ve got about ninety minutes before my tits turn into bowling balls, so let’s make it count.”
Of course, that’s the exact moment our waiter shows up to take our order.
His gaze keeps drifting to Sylvie’s newly enhanced chest, like he actually believes her boobs are about to morph into sporting equipment.
I laugh, flipping through the menu even though I already know I’m getting the same thing as always.
Once the poor guy scurries off to the kitchen, I dive into explaining my dilemma.
“I’m still wrapping my head around it. A lot’s happened in the last few days.”
“Okay, lemme start.” Sylvie’s hazel eyes assess me carefully. “You’re definitely rocking a post-coital glow, so I think it’s safe to assume you and Logan banged like bunnies.”
Despite my best efforts to stay composed, I can feel my face flushing again. “Maybe.”
“There’s no maybe about it, Rosa.” Sylvie twirls her index finger in my direction. “You don’t get that kind of glow unless you’ve been burning up the sheets with someone who knows what they’re doing. Did you measure his cock like I asked you to?”
“Shh!” I mouth a silent apology to the woman sitting at the table next to us, literally clutching her string of pearls. “Keep it down. And no, I did not measure anything this weekend. Speaking of…Logan saw your horndog texts, so thanks for that.”
She smirks. “You’re welcome.”
I scratch the bridge of my nose with my middle finger. “I wasn’t really thanking you. I was mortified when I realized he was reading over my shoulder.”
“Eh, you’ll get over it.” Sylvie shrugs. “But back to the important stuff. Are we talking little smokies, bratwursts, or a cucumber?”
My lips twitch. “Oh, cucumber, for sure. One of the longer, fatter ones.”
“Good for you,” she says, clapping her hands excitedly. “It’s about damn time. God can you imagine if you actually went through with the wedding? You would’ve been stuck with Julian’s limp dick for life, or at least until you came to your senses.”
“Julian’s dick isn’t limp,” I argue, keeping my volume at a much lower level than she is. “It’s just not that long. Or…thick.”
Sure, having sex with someone who’s anatomically blessed is nice.
But I’d never fault a man for something he couldn’t control, like penis size.
There are plenty of ways he could compensate if he had any interest in satisfying his partner.
But since Julian doesn’t care about anyone’s orgasms but his own, and the asshole cheated on me, fuck him. Or don’t fuck him, rather.
She laughs. “At least now you can finally say you know what it’s like to have your pussy eaten properly.”
My eyes widen. “Sylvie! Seriously, dial down the volume.”
She waves me off. “Pfft.”
“Besides, how do you know, I know, what that’s like now?”
“Puh-leez.” Sylvie scoffs. “Logan’s pretty, no doubt, but that’s not the only reason he was given the top spot on the sexy billionaire list.”
I cross my arms. “I’m fairly certain physical attributes are a big factor when Celeb Insider decides who makes that stupid list.”
“I’m not saying it’s not a factor. But it’s not the only factor.
Sex appeal is just as important, and Logan Edwards has sex oozing out of his pores.
” She jerks her thumb to the red-faced woman beside us.
“Even Prudence McPrudester could take one look at Logan and gather that he eats pussy like a champ, fucks like a demon, and doles out orgasms like the world is ending, and he’s planning to go out as a legend. ”
Good ol’ Prudence gasps.
“I can’t take you anywhere,” I mutter.
“Rosa,” Sylvie continues, completely ignoring the woman glaring at us, “you work with beautiful people for a living. You know damn well looks aren’t everything.
Think of all the douche-nuggets who’ve hit on you at work.
If the guy’s an asshole, or selfish in bed, his sex appeal goes down the shitter.
But Logan is neither of those things, so, again, good for you.
I’m…so…proud. My baby is all grown up.” She wipes an imaginary tear from her eye for dramatic effect.
I take another sip of my mimosa. “You’re ridiculous.”
Sylvie’s brows lift. “But I’m not wrong.”
I try holding back my grin because I don’t want to encourage her, but it’s a losing battle. “No, Syl. You’re not wrong.”
Logan definitely belongs on that list.
“So…why am I sensing hesitation?”
I sigh. “It’s…complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it,” Sylvie suggests matter-of-factly.
“Trust me, I would if I could. But I can’t, so we’ve decided to keep it a secret for now—except you, obviously, because I needed someone to talk this through with me, and I know you’re a vault.”
“Why the secrecy? Because of your stupidly overprotective brother and all his ‘bro code’ bullshit?”
“That’s part of it,” I confirm. “But also because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Logan, nor do I want to compromise his relationship with my parents.
If they knew we were…dating, or whatever, they’d be over the moon.
Hell, knowing my mom, the minute I told her, she’d probably shove one of her signature fun kits in my arms and encourage us to go upstairs and try it out.
Meanwhile, she’d be planning our wedding and drawing a diagram of all the best Kama Sutra positions for our honeymoon. ”
If someone ever tells you having a mother who’s a sex therapist is anything but awkward, they’re lying their ass off.
Sylvie chuckles, knowing firsthand how outrageous Dr. Tatum Morales can be. “That does sound like something she’d do. So, if your parents would be thrilled about the two of you dating, why are you worried about them?”
I take a moment to think about my answer.
“I know Logan would never hurt me on purpose, but if for some reason this doesn’t work out, it’s going to hurt, and I don’t think I could mask my feelings around the people who know me best. They’d see right through me, and I’m afraid they’ll perceive Logan differently if I’m hurting because of him.
For all intents and purposes, Logan and Ryan are brothers, and my parents love him like one of their own.
I can’t take that sense of belonging away from him.
You know he doesn’t get that from his actual family. ”
She gives me a sad smile. “Yeah, I know. His parents suck.”
I nod. “They do.”
Logan hated being home when we were younger because his parents are two of the coldest, most selfish people I’ve ever met.
Harold and Caroline Edwards excelled in making their son feel invisible.
Logan acted like their indifference didn’t bother him, but I knew the truth after spending so many nights together in the treehouse talking about it.
He was starved for affection the first twelve years of his life, so when Logan and Ryan became friends, and our entire family immediately welcomed him with open arms, he soaked up every morsel he could get.
I could never rob him of that. He should’ve had it from the day he was born, and it breaks my heart every time I think about how he didn’t.
I don’t think he’s even spoken with them since they moved to Miami while we were in college.
“Logan’s a good man—a great man—and he deserves my family’s love no matter what happens between the two of us.”
“Hence, why you’re proceeding with caution,” Sylvie surmises.
I point to her. “Exactly.”
Sylvie sips her mimosa thoughtfully, nodding.
“Okay, here’s my unsolicited two cents. Whether you realized it or not, you and Logan have always had this ‘will-they-won’t-they’ thing going on.
I know Ryan picked up on it long before your New Year’s Eve make-out sesh, which is why he was so loud about the bro code nonsense.
But regardless of Ryan’s misguided warnings, have you ever considered that maybe you and Logan are inevitable? Why fight it?
“Look at me and Hudson. I knew from the moment we met something was different about him. About the way he made me feel. That’s why it hurt so badly when I thought he didn’t want me.
When I moved back to LA, I had no intention of ever seeing him again.
But then all these years later, he was thrown back into my life.
And as hard as I fought it, as many mistakes as we’ve both made along the way, I know this is how it was meant to happen.
If I hadn’t left, we wouldn’t have Lily in our life.
That’s not a reality I’d ever want to live in, and I can guarantee Hudson would say the same.
“So, I’m going to give you the same advice my brilliant cousin gave me in the not-so-distant past. You don’t have to make all the decisions right now, Rosa.
Don’t worry about what’s at stake. Don’t worry about all the hypothetical what-ifs.
You’re allowed to enjoy this experience, wherever it may lead you.
Just focus on what you’re feeling in the moment, every time you’re with Logan.
Focus on how inexplicably bereft you feel when you’re not together. ”
“Man, this cousin of yours sounds pretty smart,” I sass, considering I’m the one who gave her that advice. “But how do you kn—”
Sylvie holds a hand up. “Girl, don’t even try telling me you’re not missing him like crazy right now, because it’s written all over your face.”
“But that’s weird, don’t you think?” I ask. “We’ve only been exploring this new facet of our relationship for three days, Syl. Three. Days.”
She gives me a ‘Don’t give me that bullshit’ look. “Rosalie, this has been coming for fifteen years. You two have been carrying a torch for each other since day one. You’ve been suppressing these feelings for so long, of course it’s going to be super-intense once you finally give into it.”
I think about that for a moment, tracing my finger on the rim of my glass. “There’s just so much on the line.”
“Nuh-uh,” Sylvie says, shaking her head. “We’re not doing that, remember? Look. If you want to keep it a secret for now, fine. That part doesn’t matter. What does matter is how being with Logan makes you feel. If you focus on that, the rest will work itself out.”
I nod, feeling the weight in my chest lift, just a little.
Sylvie’s right. I’ve spent too much time worrying about what might go wrong instead of appreciating what’s already gone right.
Logan’s promise echoes in my mind. Let’s just enjoy this—us—for what it is, one moment at a time.
I promise, no matter what, I’ve got you.
If he’s willing to take this risk, I owe it to both of us to do the same. There’s no guarantee things will be easy, but the thought of walking away now—before we’ve even had a chance to see where this could lead—is infinitely worse.
By the time our food arrives, I’ve made up my mind. For the first time in a long time, I’ll stop overthinking and let myself feel. Logan deserves that. We deserve that.
As we finish our meal, Sylvie raises her glass one last time. “To orgasms and big dicks. May we always be blessed with both.”
I chuckle, clinking my glass to hers. “Salud.”