Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28
L ily
I stare down at the little white cardboard box. The plastic stick inside could possibly change my life. Funny that such a simple device could determine the trajectory of my entire future.
Two little pink lines that means there’s no turning back.
What will he think? How will he feel? Is he ready to be a father?
Raise a baby with me? I’m not sure if it’s the baby or the fact that I’m so overwhelmed by my thoughts, but I suddenly feel sick, nauseous like I’m on a boat rolling on a stormy sea. I put a hand to my belly, willing it to calm down.
This could be the most important two minutes of my life. Now is not the time to have my head in a toilet.
A strong urge to be in his arms overtakes me, but I want to do this by myself. Old wounds opened fresh, first when he left me the goodbye note breaking up with me. Then again, when I found my period was once again late.
The thought of him knowing I might be pregnant, then taking off, leaving me all alone…
The pain is real, raw, and still fresh.
I shake my head. I want to do this alone. If it’s one line, I don’t even have to tell him. Problem solved.
A heavy sigh releases from my chest as I bend back the cardboard top of the box.
“I’m ready. I can do this?—”
A soft knock on the door startles me, making my shaking hands drop the box. It falls to the floor with a soft sound, the plastic-wrapped test falling out of the top of the box.
His deep voice is filled with worry as he speaks. “You alright in there? You were so pale on the way home. Are you feeling okay?”
How long have I been in here, contemplating? I reach down, scooping up the test and the box. “Yeah! I’m fine. Just a little—woozy.”
“Can I come in?”
“No! I’ll be right out?—”
The door opens, his handsome face popping into the room.
I try to hide the box in my hands, but it’s no use. The blue letters stand out over the white cardboard like a highway billboard shouting, Early Detection Pregnancy Test.
Damn—should have locked the door.
His eyes widen to saucers as he stares down at the box. “Is that for you?”
“For us,” I say, holding the box up to him.
“Us?”
“This.” I shake the little box, the test rattling against the cardboard sides. “Is why I was so pale. So distant. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you that I’d missed my period again. Instead, I did an internal, I don’t know—” I try to put words to what I was going through. “Some kind of internal freak out. And I pulled away. I’m sorry for that.”
He’s speechless, still staring down at the box.
Is this the end? The end of us?
I start rambling. “It might change things. Good or bad, it might change us. I mean it could be like last time, a false alarm. Or it could be…”
I can’t wrap my mind around the words, much less say them.
“Take it.” His voice is raspy, his hair standing on end where he’s raked his hand through it. His blue eyes lock on mine. “Take it.”
“Fine. But I can’t pee in front of people. Can you go?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Taking the box from me, he flips the lid open. Puts the box on the countertop. Takes the little stick, tears a bit of the white wrapper, and pulls the test out. He stands there, staring down at it for a moment. Then hands it to me.
He flips the faucet on, turning his back to me, arms crossed over his chest as he waits.
I stare at the back of his head, my body going through the motions as I pull down my sweats and panties to sit on the cold toilet seat. Eventually, the running water trick works and I pee on the stick.
Is he angry? Or in shock? I can’t tell.
I put the test on top of the box on the counter. Clean up, wash my hands.
He turns to me. “What now?”
“We wait. Two pink lines means pregnant. One means not pregnant.”
He leans past me, brushing against me as he looks down at the test. “Oh, my god.”
“What? What is it?” Doesn’t it take two minutes? It couldn’t work this fast, could it?
My stomach sinks into my body as I watch the color drain from his face.
Slowly he turns toward me, white as a ghost, his sexy lips parting in disbelief. “Pregnant.”
“Oh, my god.” I bury my head in my hands, numb to any emotion. I don’t know what to feel.
He doesn’t want this baby. He never wanted to be a father. He’s forty. If he wanted kids, he’d have them by now.
He’s going to leave me…
“Oh, my god!” The tone in his voice makes me glance up at his face. A giddy, almost childlike smile slowly begins to slide over his face. His eyes light from within as he stares down at the little pink lines.
Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he pulls me tight into his side. “Oh, my god,” he repeats. “You’re pregnant. You’re going to have a baby!”
“We,” I correct him. “We’re going to have a baby.”
I wait, my eyes glued to his face for his reaction as my words settle in. Eyes wide with glee, he stares at me. Relief floods me as he says, “We’re going to have a baby. We’re going to be parents. I’m going to be a…”
“Father. Yes. A dad.”
“Oh, my god.” His smile is gone. He looks like a shock victim. I worry he might pass out. Beats of deafening silence count out between us as I wait for his next reaction, my momentary relief gone. Fear and awe are written on his face as he turns those blue eyes back onto me. “Do you think I’ll be any good at it?”
To see this strong, dominant man so bare, so open, so vulnerable, it brings tears to my eyes. I take the test from him, setting it into the sink so I can grab his hands in both of mine.
“Of course you will be. Look at how you took care of me. Protected me. Made all my problems disappear.” I squeeze his hands, making him look at me. “Loved me. You did all that for me, and you’ll do it for our baby too.”
“But… when I got scared, when I thought I was going to get hurt, I walked away to protect myself. What if I do that again?” He lowers his head in shame. “You both deserve more than that.”
“We do,” I say. “And you’ll deliver.”
His blue eyes come back to mine. “You think?”
“I know,” I say. “When you knew you were wrong, you tracked me down. You came and found me and apologized, right?”
“Yes, but I never should have done it in the first?—”
“We all make mistakes,” I continue. “You learn and you move on, and you don’t do it again. Right?”
“Right.”
He kisses me but I can’t focus. A heavy thought comes over me. I didn’t learn from my own mistake, did I?
I pull away, my worries flowing freely. “I’ve already had one pregnancy scare. How could I let this happen again? I’ve been so irresponsible. Now I’ve pulled you into this and?—”
“We got pregnant. Not you. And now we’re going to have a baby.” Pure joy returns to his face, and he grabs me for a kiss.
This time, I’m able to return it.
As we kiss, I let reality settle in. I’m pregnant, a little baby growing in my uterus, and this baby was created from love. I’m going to be a mom and I’m going to have the very best man by my side for a father.
He lifts me up, carrying me to the bed. He takes great care laying me down on my back, already wanting to protect the baby inside of me. He stares down at me, putting a hand softly over my belly.
“I love you so much and I already love this little baby. I’m going to protect both of you. No harm will ever come to either of you as long as I’m alive.” He shakes his head, correcting himself. “No, even if something happens, I’ll make sure your every need is met, and the family will?—”
I reach up, putting a finger over his lips. “Shh… nothing is going to happen to you.”
But his worry dredges up my own, a niggling concern creeping up the back of my spine. I cup his face in my hands as he stares down at me, love in those blue eyes. “This hasn’t changed anything between us, right?”
“It’s changed everything between us,” he says.
My heart sinks. “It has?”
“Yes.” He strokes my hair back from my face. “I love you even more. Which I didn’t think was possible. I love you, and I already love our baby.”
“Oh, good,” I breathe out as he plants sweet kisses all over my face.
“And it’s changed another thing as well.” He’s lifting my shirt, kissing over my belly. Going lower, delicate kisses tingling my skin.
“What else has it changed?” The words breathlessly fall from my lips, my fingers stroking his soft hair.
He keeps kissing. Lower. Pushing my pants and panties off. His lips caress my inner thighs. “We’re going to be a family. The three of us.” Kisses move over my pussy, brushing against my sensitive lips. “There’s only one thing left to do.”
I can’t breathe. “What else is left to do?”
“Marry me, Lily.” And he buries his face in my pussy, kissing, licking, sucking.
“Yes!” I call out, both answering his question and celebrating his amazing tongue.
My back arches, liquid heat flowing through my veins, relaxing my entire body. He keeps kissing with that experienced mouth, making my inner body tighten to a coil, a spring, ready to explode. I hit the edge of my limit, tumbling into a trembling orgasm. “Yes! God. Yes!”
He laughs, his chuckle vibrating against me as he pulls away.
“Would you like another orgasm?” He looks up at me, a naughty smile on his handsome face. “Mrs. Bachman?”
“Oh, that sounds so pretty. Mrs. Bachman.” So official, so grown up.
His fingers stroke my wet pussy. “Have you made your decision, my wife to be? Would you like another orgasm?”
“Yes, please.” And he kisses me, warm and wet, pulling me under for another round, another mind-blowing climax. I cling to his shoulders, trying not to smother my new fiancé with my clenching thighs.
Mrs. Bachman. One of them. A member of the family.
The memory of Claudia’s words rings out in my mind, a conversation we had that now feels like a lifetime ago, when she told me, ‘The whole thing is a little dark ages, a little sexist, but if you’re a woman, the only way in is by marriage.’
But she was wrong.
So wrong.
Marriage is just a cherry on top. The only way into the Bachman family?—
Is love.