Chapter 9
The cooking class was quiet between Lucas and me, but he didn’t seem upset to have a boring partner.
He also didn’t seem to need my help. Andrew and Warren, on the other hand, both seemed to be clueless at their stations.
Lucas was comfortable with a knife and with whisking a perfect dressing together.
I was impressed but scared of showing too much.
I had a stacked hand of cards held to my chest and I was afraid of tipping it.
Dinner was even stranger. I somehow found myself sitting at a large round table, between Mark and Megan.
Macy and Jason were across from us, with a few of Jason’s friends sandwiched in with Macy’s.
It was rowdy, with Mark telling jokes louder and louder.
The more whiskey he downed with his dinner, the raunchier the jokes got.
I wanted to escape, badly, especially when Mark’s jokes came with an arm casually slung around my shoulder and dramatic whispering in my ear.
It was awful. He was drunk, and more than once, I’d had to remove his hand from my thigh.
I looked longingly at the table next to us where the triplets were seemingly locked in a conversation with some of their older cousins.
I couldn’t enjoy myself. I felt so guilty about what I was doing behind Macy’s back, but I also wanted to keep doing it. I was so torn. I didn’t trust myself to drink, so I just sipped at my water and did my best to laugh along with Mark’s jokes.
As the night dragged on, the triplets joined our table where they could.
Andrew ended up next to Macy while Warren and Lucas squeezed in between a couple of Jason’s friends.
Mark was plastered and hanging off of me, solely to keep himself upright, I was guessing.
He was still insisting on talking, though.
Most everyone else was drinking, too, so his slurred words didn’t seem to be causing too much of a stir with anyone else.
When the conversation turned to our wildest sexual trysts, I blanched and tried to shrink into my seat.
Macy even participated, telling a story about a time that she and Jason got caught in an elevator.
Andrew covered his sister’s mouth with his hand and gestured for someone else to go so Macy would shut up.
Everyone else laughed, having a great time.
Meanwhile, I was cringing so hard that it hurt.
Mark pressed a wet kiss to the side of my head and finally let me go. “That’s nothing. I once had a menage with these two sisters. Not sisters, like sisters. Sorority sisters.”
Jason’s friend Byer held up his glass of whiskey. “Good going, man.”
“Those chicks were freaks.” Mark shuddered like he was recalling something terrible. “That’s my last emnage. Ever. I don’t think it’s good to get a woman turned on and then let her have idle hands...”
I almost laughed at the idea of whatever had happened to Mark, given the idle hands remark, but the topic was too close to home. I just sank even farther into my seat and prayed someone changed the topic.
Megan sighed. “Unconventional relationships like that just don’t work. I had a friend whose husband insisted they invite another man into the bedroom, for her. Their marriage ended two months later because she liked having sex with the new guy better.”
“And honestly, what kind of woman wants to deal with more than one man at a time?” Macy snorted. “One is more than enough.”
Mark laughed loudly. “The extra kinky ones. I never tried it with just one woman. Huh.”
Jason shook his head. “Don’t try to put out offers for your kinky dreams here, buddy,”
Mark looked over at me and wagged his eyebrows. “I don’t know. I think Sara might have a little something spicy hiding away.”
My stomach dropped straight to the floor, and I winced. Pulling away, I shook my head. “No, thanks.”
“Oh, come on.” He leaned into me. “For you, I’d even try it with another woman again.”
Megan came to my rescue. She reached over and pushed Mark away. “Don’t be gross, Mark. Sara isn’t one of your perverted sorority sisters.”
I was barely holding myself together. I wanted to burst into tears.
They would all think so little of me if they found out I had a harem of brothers I was hooking up with.
I didn’t want that. I had to get away from the table.
Shaking my head, I stood up and forced a smile.
“On that note, I think I’m going to retire for the night. ”
Macy came around to give me a big hug. “I’m so sorry, honey. I promise he’s not normally like that.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m just tired. I’m used to going to bed early.”
She kissed my cheek and sighed. “I love you, Sara. You’re the best.”
With my heart beating an angry rhythm in my chest, I practically ran back to my room.
I locked the door and barely made it to the bathroom before I finally gave into the tears.
I stripped and got into the shower, wanting to wash Mark’s touch off my skin.
A part of me was trying to wash away what I’d done with the guys, too.
I knew it was useless, what was done was done, but I tried anyway.
I scrubbed myself until I felt raw and then I dressed in thick flannel pajamas and crawled into bed. I was preparing to spend the rest of the night pouting in bed when a knock sounded at my door.
I knew it was going to be one of the guys, but I went to it still and pulled it open.
Lucas stood there, a frown on his face. He reached out and touched my cheek. With a heavy sigh, he shook his head. “You’ve been crying.”
I stepped aside so he could come inside and went back to my bed after he closed the door. “That was horrible.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Not the best moment to have pop up when we’re trying to show you that this isn’t weird or perverted. We just all worship you and we each want to express it in our own way, while giving you as much pleasure as possible.”
I crawled under the covers and pulled them up to my chin. “I’m done. I’m just going to stay away from the three of you. This is all too much. I can’t be hooking up with all three of you.”
Lucas shook his head and came closer. “Don’t let a bunch of drunk people ruin something that can be amazing, Cupcake.”
“You’ve done this before with other women.” I hadn’t meant to throw that out at him, but there it was. I rolled away from him and hugged a pillow. “I don’t want to talk about it, either.”
He swore, and I heard the rustle of fabric. When I looked back, he was shirtless and kicking his shoes off. Grabbing the side of my blanket, he ripped it back and gestured for me to move over. “I’m not just going to let you hang out and cry in here by yourself.”
I squeaked as he pushed me over and crawled in behind me. “Are you going to cry with me?”
“Maybe. Depends.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and dragged me into his chest. “Are you going to tell me to leave?”
No matter how much I told myself to say yes, I sank into his body instantly and shook my head. Instead, I grabbed onto his hand and held it. I was helpless when it came to wanting them. The scariest part was that it didn’t seem to be purely sexual.
“Tell me when you want to talk about it, okay?”
I was quiet for a few seconds and then sighed. “I just thought I was special. I know it’s silly to feel like that, but I can’t help it.”
Lucas sat up slightly and reached around to cup my chin.
Turning my face to his, he smiled gently.
“There have been others, sure, but you are special, Cupcake. We’ve wanted you for a long time.
Taking you isn’t something we haven’t put thought into.
We’ve thought about it a lot and talked about it until we’re blue in the face. ”
I pouted. “This is all so crazy. And you heard them at the table. They’d think I was a slut for having my own harem.”
“It’s bullshit, Sara. Their ideas of what a woman should or shouldn’t be are theirs.
They don’t get to set the standards. You set your own standards.
If you decide that having the three of us isn’t for you, then that’s something we’ll deal with.
I don’t think you’re opposed to it, though. I think you’re just scared.”
Even though I knew he wasn’t being rude, I latched onto the chance to be angry instead of sad. Sitting up and scooting over, I glared at him. “I’m not scared.”
He ran his hand down his face and visibly counted to ten before reaching out and grabbing me. He dragged me back down next to him and smiled sweetly. “Did you feel anything for Mark when he kissed you? When he rubbed all over you?”
The questions threw me off. I frowned and shook my head. “Unless you count strong repulsion.”
“Do you feel things when I kiss you?” He stroked his thumb over my temple before pressing his lips there. “Do you feel things when I rub against you?”
I bit my lip as he ran his hands down my stomach and thighs. Nodding abruptly, I gave in. I was weak. “Yes, so much.”
“Did you feel things when Warren touched you?”
I nodded.
“Did you feel things when Andrew held you and touched you?”
I nodded again.
“But not when Mark touched you.” He watched me shake my head and pressed his lips just under my ear. “Seems like you don’t get off on just anyone touching you, Cupcake. Just us.”
I licked my lips and turned my body into his. “But three different men...”
“Who all want you desperately. Who want to take care of you and make you happy.” He shuddered. “Sitting at that table and listening to them say shit that I knew was hurting you killed me. There’s nothing wrong with you, Cupcake. You’re fucking perfect.”
“Are you just trying to get into my pants?”
He laughed and shrugged. “I mean. The thought had crossed my mind that I wanted into those flannel PJs, but I would be happy to just hold you. I’m not asking for anything.”
I curled into him and wrapped my arm over his stomach, resting my hand on his side.
His skin was hot under my palm, and I sighed.
It was so hard to remember why anything was wrong when I was so close to my personal heaven.
Resting my head on his chest, I took in all his tattoos, tracing them with eyes hungry for more.
“You’re different than you were back then.”
Lucas ran his fingers through my hair and chuckled. “So are you. Just as beautiful, but all woman now.”
I smiled. “It’s the baking. I have to taste-test everything. Multiple times.”
“I heard Andrew sent you some treats this morning. Good?”
I stretched up to look at his face. “They were so good. Do you... Do you three get jealous of each other?”
He caressed my cheek and shook his head. “Not like that. We’re weird. I know we’re weird and it’s still weird to me.”
I laughed. “Tell me.”
“We’re like one person some days. We’ve been together for our entire existence and we like being together. We operate on the same thought most of the time. So, we don’t really get jealous of each other.” He shrugged. “Except for the rare occasion.”
Resting my upper half against him, I was overly aware of my breasts pushing into him, but I tried to ignore it. “What’s the rare occasion?”
He smiled. “Warren has been in you, has tasted you.”
My breath caught in my chest. Looking at him, I watched his eyes flick down to my mouth. Awareness blossomed until it was impossible to move through it. Trapped in the moment, I watched the bob of his throat as he swallowed, his neck a work of art with dark ink stretching across it.
“Stop looking at me like that, Cupcake.” Lucas’s voice was a growl as his eyes moved over my face, intense and hard.
“Like what?” I was breathless as I thought about what I wanted from him, what I was hoping he knew I wanted.
“Like you want me to throw you down and fuck you senseless. I’m trying to be a gentleman. I didn’t come here to take advantage of you.”
I licked my lips at the gravel in his voice, the promise of just what he said. “You were kind to comfort me.”
“And?”
I sat up and pulled my top over my head. “I don’t need a gentleman anymore, Lucas.”