Chapter 21
“Jesus Christ, she lives!” Macy rushed over to me and grabbed me in a hug. “Are you okay? You disappeared on us.”
I could see the triplets watching me, taking me in, and I knew I was lacking. I felt terrible and I knew I looked it. I was just so grateful to have Macy hugging me, though. I held her tight and fought back tears.
She knew something was wrong as she pulled back and looked me over. “Oh, babe. What’s wrong?”
Tears instantly formed and slid down my cheeks. I brushed them away and groaned. “You know that’s the worst question to ask when I’m trying not to cry. Nothing’s wrong. I’m just...I’m so excited for you.”
“You’re also the world’s worst liar.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and led me away from the crowd. “Is it Milo? Did he do something?”
I shook my head and fanned my face. “No, no. Really. This is just hormones, or something. I think I’m coming down with something and I’m just falling apart over it, apparently.
Nothing for you to worry about, though, okay?
Promise me that you’re not going to spend the night obsessing over me and why I’m a wreck. ”
She shook her head. “Something’s wrong. I know you, Sara.”
“Please. Just...let’s enjoy your wedding. I want this to be all about you and your marriage. You deserve this.”
Her frown was intense, but eventually, her face softened and she sighed. “Fine. I’m not going to push you right now, but you’re going to talk to me when this is all over.”
I nodded, hoping she’d still want to talk to me by then. “Go on. Your dad looks lost just standing back there by himself.”
She groaned. “Don’t get me started. He has one job and it’s literally just to walk, and he’s acting like he needs codes to a bomb.”
I forced a smile as she hurried over to her dad. I just had to get through the rehearsal and then the party and then the wedding. I could do it. Even as I thought it, I was deflating.
“We need to talk.” Andrew’s stern voice was back, his grip on my arm unrelenting.
I kept my eyes down. Those were the same words I’d used with Milo. Maybe they wanted to end things with me. Maybe they agreed with Milo after hearing him say those words. “Now isn’t a good time.”
“The hell it’s not. You haven’t come out of your fucking room in almost two days and you look like you’ve been crying. Now is the best time.”
I was saved by Macy’s wedding planner strolling through the ballroom with a megaphone.
I winced as she shouted through it, but I could’ve kissed her for giving me an out from talking to Andrew.
I pulled away from him and moved towards the line of bridesmaids that had quickly formed under the rage of a bullhorn.
The walkthrough was fast and almost painless. Everyone was paying attention to the planner and her barked instructions, so I was able to fade into the background. I walked when I was told to and stood where I was told to. It was a thoughtless task that I gave myself over to.
The rehearsal dinner was a different story.
Macy insisted I sit at the head table with her family.
That meant I was seated at a table with all three of the men I’d been sleeping with, their parents, my best friend and her almost husband, and his family.
The five-course meal we were having was being served by a waitstaff that seemed to have some major zen going on.
They took their time and did everything perfectly before even dropping off our salad course.
I cringed in my seat, caught right between Macy and Jason’s mom, Sophia. The two families spoke and caught up, but they were relatively close, so eventually, the intrigue turned to the only outsider, me.
Sophia and Dane, Jason’s dad, took interest in me first. Dane spoke over the rim of his whiskey, his eyes crinkling in the corners just like Jason’s. “So, Sara, what do you do?”
I shifted in my seat and dabbed at my lips with my napkin. “I’m a baker.”
Sophia smiled. “Do you own your own business?”
Oof. “No. I work for A Sweet, Shore Thing.”
“She’s on her way to owning her own place. She’s so amazing at what she does.” Macy playfully elbowed me. “She’s the reason I had to start exercising more. Her pastries are to die for.”
“Oh, wow. So, are you doing the wedding cake?”
Words caught in my throat and I couldn’t answer. If running away from the table hadn’t been an edge overdramatic, I would’ve done it. I pressed my hand to my chest, the ache there growing.
“No way. This is a vacation for Sara. I couldn’t put her to work.”
Jason smiled brightly at me. “Besides, I’m not sure we could’ve afforded her. She’s highly sought after.”
The waitstaff showed up to save me and to take the salads away before bringing the next course.
Our wines were changed and the conversation moved away from me for a while.
However, it came back around to me when Terri, Macy’s mom, seemed to remember that there’d been that big, embarrassing display by Milo.
“Where’s your boyfriend, honey? I figured after a display like that, you must’ve made up.”
I kept my eyes firmly away from Andrew, Lucas, and Warren. “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend.”
“He turned out to be a pig, Mom.” Macy shook her head. “Sara was way too good for him anyway.”
Terri frowned. “I’m sorry, honey. Are you okay?”
Oh, god. I was going to cry again, right there at the table. I clamped down on my lip and pinched my thigh under the table in an attempt to get control over my emotions, but it was useless. I could feel my face turning red and tears pooling as my throat worked around a lump.
By some miracle, across the room, Maggie screamed out and shoved back from the table. “That’s disgusting!”
Macy swore. “What now?”
My pulse dropped as I watched the crowd. Disgusting. That was me. They were probably all finding out about me. Milo was probably in the room, telling people. It would get back to our table and I’d have to face Macy and her parents while they learned what I’d done.
“I’m not eating that!” Maggie crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at her parents. “I told you, I’m a vegetarian now.”
I sank in my seat, relief washing over me. My heart started up again and I took deep breaths between taking a long drink of water. I had to relax. I was stretched about as much as I could be before I snapped.
“That girl.” Macy ground out as she turned back to our table. “I hope she grows out of that attitude.”
Maggie, unknowingly, had saved me from crying in front of everyone. After that, the conversation steered towards her, and then teenagers, in general. I was forgotten and made it through the rest of the courses without anyone else asking me questions about myself.
The bar was being transformed for the night’s festivities, so everyone who was attending the party just hung around and drank while they waited. I stayed close to Macy, knowing that I was off-limits for Andrew’s talk if I was with his sister. Avoidance was the key.
Just after Macy got up to go check on the bar, Megan sat down next to me before we moved to the bar, her smile gentle. “You doing okay?”
I knew my own smile was brittle, but I was at my limit. “Sure. How are you?”
She squeezed my hand. “You can talk to me if there’s something going on. We’re all worried about you.”
More tears peppered my eyes but I fought them back. “I’m fine. No one should be worried about me. Everyone should be focused on Macy and Jason.”
“In case you’ve missed it, Macy and Jason are sick of the attention. I’ve heard Macy mutter at least four times that a two-week-long wedding event was a stupid idea.”
I shook my head. “Still.”
“Still nothing. We can tell there’s something going on with you and we’re worried.” She sighed when she saw Maggie headed our way. “I’m on Maggie duty tonight. I’ve got to wrangle her out of here and back to her parents. I’ll be back.”
The moment she got up, Warren slipped into her seat. He casually draped his arm along the back of my chair and leaned into me. “Cupcake, you’re killing us.”
I stiffened, trying to build up my reserve. I felt weak and I wanted to fall into his arms and cry, but I couldn’t. They weren’t mine, and they could never be mine. I just had to get that through my head.
“Dammit. Even I’m losing my patience, Cupcake.” He cupped my chin and turned my face to him, studying my expression before I pulled away. “Why are you doing this to yourself? Because of what that shit-for-brains said?”
“Bar’s ready!” Macy called out, receiving a round of cheers from everyone.
I practically flew away from Warren. I’d been strategically planning my presence at the party since I’d woken up that morning.
I was going to somehow make myself known in the beginning and then hide for a while before finding Macy and talking to her again for a bit before leaving for the night.
Just two showings of my happy face and then I could retreat to my room.
I settled at the bar, not even truly seeing the decorations hung around the room.
The little bit of dinner I’d eaten was sitting awkwardly in my stomach, and the idea of drinking made me want to throw up, but I ordered a ginger ale and sipped at it.
The group was already having a good time.
Music was playing loudly, and the wedding planner was organizing some sort of game in the corner of the bar.
I sat there, glued to the bar seat, trying to sort out what to do or say to make Macy notice that I was there for her.
I was just frozen, though. No matter what I thought I should do, I couldn’t make myself do it.
I felt sick with worry and grief, and all I wanted to do was cease to exist in that room.
I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been sitting there when Macy appeared beside me, her face tense.
I looked at her, at the stiff way she stood, at the phone clasped in her hand, and I knew that she knew.
Maybe I wanted her to find out because I almost felt relieved.
Nothing could ease the ache that the anger and distrust in her eyes caused, though.
“I need to talk to you outside.” Her voice shook, and she took a step back like she couldn’t stand to be that close to me. “Now.”
Nodding, I pushed myself off the seat and moved with feet like lead to the doors leading out of the bar. It was all over, I knew. The secret was out, however she’d found out, and I was about to lose it all. The other shoe had finally dropped.
Macy’s gait was tight and fast as she exited the bar and turned right. She walked down to the ballroom, away from everyone milling around, and then snapped around to face me. “How could you?”
My stomach knotted, and I put my hand on the wall to brace myself. “Macy...”
“It’s true, isn’t it? I knew it the moment I got the fucking text from Milo. You’ve been so off, and I knew something was going on, but I didn’t know what it was. How could I have ever guessed?”
“I’m so sorry, Macy. I...”
“You what? You forgot that they were my brothers? Jesus, Sara! What kind of twisted shit are you into? All three of them?” She scrubbed at her face, rubbing her eyes like she could shove away the images the idea was clearly giving her.
“He took pictures of the four of you going into one of the rooms. They’re all over you, and you’re clearly loving it. I don’t get it. Make it make sense.”
Pictures? I leaned against the wall and fought back a wave of nausea.
“I’ve lost friends over them attempting to sleep with one of my brothers, Sara.
You know that. You know it, and you still did it!
What the fuck? You’re supposed to be my best friend.
You lied and went behind my back this entire time.
” She grabbed my shoulder. “Say something. Please! Tell me how it happened. Tell me it’s not true. ”
I felt the first tear leak out and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I’d ruined everything, and I didn’t know what to say.
Macy threw her hands up and backed away, her own tears flooding her eyes. “I need space right now. I don’t think you should be in the wedding tomorrow. I don’t think you should be there at all.”