Chapter 36
***Aggie***
I chewed on my lip as I hovered outside the library, curiosity driving me insane.
Mary stood next to me, her arms crossed over her chest and a deep frown on her face.
The new nanny was sitting on the other side of the door, meeting with the guys and Gracie.
I had so many feelings happening inside my head that some of them were leaking into other parts of my body.
My stomach cramped painfully and I hadn’t been able to stop moving.
“She’d better be good. I’ve got to tell you, I’m tired of meeting new nannies.” Mary saw my face drop and rolled her eyes. “You’re hardly a nanny, Agatha.”
For some reason, that made me sad. It wasn’t that I wanted to be a nanny in any way. I wanted to get back to work, but I wanted to have left my mark on the household. The new nanny was going to start and I felt like I was just going to fade away.
“You know what I mean, hon. You’ve been more than a nanny here. We both know that. This house is a labyrinth, but sound travels. You fulfilled needs that no nanny ever has in this home.” She patted my arm. “You’ve been so much more than those fools could’ve ever hoped for when they lured you here.”
I faked a smile and ran the hem of my T-shirt through my fingers.
I hadn’t known the new woman was showing up that afternoon.
I was dressed in some of my slouchiest clothes.
It’d been impossible not to compare myself to her when she stood next to me in a beautiful dress and kitten heels that made her look so damn professional.
I could tell by the way she knelt so gracefully in front of Gracie that she was used to kids and being ladylike in dresses. I couldn’t compete with that.
“I thought the company couldn’t send a new nanny for another week?” I paced away from the library and twisted the end of my ponytail. “She’s early.”
“This is just the interview, Agatha. She won’t be available to start work for another few days, but this is just the process.” Mary glanced behind me and nodded. “Jamie has their drinks ready. Do you want me to carry them in?”
I glanced back at Jamie and shook my head. “I can do it. I’m great at carrying drinks and not being weird when feeling stressed. Right, Jamie?”
He grinned and held the tray closer to his chest. “We made up and I consider you a friend now, Aggie. That makes lying to you hard.”
“No, I’m fine. This isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m feeling so nervous. Gracie needs someone and I’m leaving to go back to work.” If I had a job. I wiped my sweaty palms on my shirt and took the tray. “I’ve led multi-million dollar meetings. I can handle this. I’m just being silly.”
Mary walked ahead of me. “I’ll open the door. If you drop everything, at least you’ll get in the library before you do. The carpet in there is easier to clean.”
My stomach knotted but I forced myself to move slowly and carefully. Just because I wasn’t in my profession didn’t mean I couldn’t be professional. I was sure the new nanny was being professional. With a silent curse at myself, I entered the library and smiled politely.
“Aggie!” Gracie called to me with an excited smile stretching her face. “Miss Olivia sings! She’s going to teach me some of her favorite songs! Isn’t that so neat?”
“Do you sing, Aggie?” Olivia looked up at me from where she sat next to Kyrin on the couches.
I lowered the tray to the coffee table, my face burning red at being so close to the scene of the crime, so to speak.
I half expected Zander to reach forward and stroke the back of my thigh, the way he normally did when Gracie was around, when he couldn’t touch me the way he wanted.
When he didn’t touch me, I straightened and backed away. “Not even a little bit.”
“Olivia’s previous job wrapped up a few days early, Aggie. She’s able to start two days from now.” Zander nodded at Olivia and barely glanced my way. “We’ll keep you on for the entire month we’d arranged, however. You can help Olivia adjust to Gracie’s specific needs.”
I swallowed another devil lump in my throat and rested my hands on my hips. I dug my fingers into my skin, hoping the focused sting would save me from any unwanted display of emotion. “Of course. I’m sure Olivia doesn’t need much help, though. She’s a professional.”
Olivia granted me a megawatt smile. “I would never turn down help. You could show me around. Help a single gal get adjusted to a place like this. I’ll need to know all the secrets.”
I laughed along with her joking, but it sounded robotic.
Her mentioning she was single made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I felt sick with jealousy.
She was letting the guys know she was available.
I backed up another step and clasped my hands in front of me. “I’ll let y’all get back to it.”
Before I could get out, I saw Olivia rest her hand on Kyrin’s arm as she smiled up at him.
“She seems nice. I’m glad you’re hiring a professional, though.
I’ve worked with kids who came from similar situations.
It truly is necessary to have someone trained or kids fall behind so quickly.
Do you know if she’s done any reading work with Gracie since coming here? ”
Knight laughed, dismissing the idea completely. “That’s not Aggie’s area of focus.”
I closed the door and leaned against it, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I’d gotten to the end of my time with the Graveses and I had nothing to show for it.
I had no job, no offers, no Gracie, and I knew the moment I walked out of their front door, I’d have no men.
I’d even lost my burning anger to exact revenge on Monroe.
I just felt numb as I walked to the back yard.
Desperately ignoring the end being near had felt great while spending every night wrapped around all three of the brothers, but we still hadn’t discussed our feelings.
Hearing them talk about me leaving so nonchalantly gave the impression that they were fine with it.
They were just going to let me leave and I had nowhere to go.
I’d gotten so caught up in their lives that I’d forgotten about my own.
I hadn’t insisted on more tests, hadn’t worried about sending out applications for other jobs, and I hadn’t bothered to protect myself from getting attached to the idea that I belonged to the Graves family as much as I felt like they belonged to me.
Rubbing my temples, I stared out at the vast property and sighed.
I hadn’t even thought about reading with Gracie.
Olivia was going to make me look so painfully bad at childcare.
With her mention of her being single and the way she’d touched Kyrin, I wondered how long it would take before I was forgotten in every way.