Chapter 55
***Jud***
“Jud, I’m so sorry. I lied. I wasn’t a nanny.
I was a waitress at Henry’s. Henry fired me because of you guys.
I was mad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.
” Ada rambled incoherently, repeating the same things she’d been saying for hours.
“I just played pranks. I messed up Joe’s closet.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I should apologize to them. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
I pulled her into my lap and wrapped the blanket around her shaking body. She was burning up with a fever. I’d given her medicine as soon as I’d gotten her settled in the hotel but it wasn’t working yet. “Hush, Ada. It’s fine. Just rest, okay?”
Her teeth chattered as she looked up at me. “You should hate me, too. I lied, Jud. I said I was a nanny and I wasn’t.”
“It’s fine, Ada. Just try to sleep. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
She tried to sit up. “Where’s Milo? I need to check on Milo.”
Pulling her back into my chest, I stroked her hair and gently rocked her. “He’s sleeping, sweet girl. He’s fine. He barely woke up on the drive over.”
“He’s okay?”
“Yeah, he’s okay.” I could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she plastered herself against me to hug me. I didn’t like how sick she was and I was minutes away from calling Dr Morgan.
“I’m sorry, Jud.” She shivered in my arms and sniffled. “I’m really sorry.”
I wanted to kill my brothers. I couldn’t remember another time I’d ever been so angry at them.
Their stupid pride and inability to listen to another person was going to cost them their happiness.
I’d watched them with Ada and I knew they cared about her but they were too stupid to sit down and process their emotions before reacting like a couple of apes.
I could forgive a lot of shit from them but kicking Ada out like they had while she was clearly sick was too far.
I didn’t need to see the shit they were shouting about to know that they were wrong about Ada. She came into our lives and made everything fucking sunshine and happiness. They could ruin their lives if they wanted to but I wasn’t losing Ada again. Once was too much.
“Sorry, Jud...” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she slowly nodded off. It took another few seconds for her body to go limp against mine.
I held her until I felt her fever break and only then did I tuck her in and get up to check on Milo.
He was still fast asleep with his fist tucked under his chin.
I watched him for a minute and then I slipped out of the hotel room.
I called Dr. Morgan first and asked him to come by first thing that morning.
Then, I dialed Joe and tried to stay calm as I waited for him to pick up.
I knew he wasn’t sleeping, not after the night we’d just had.
“Change your mind yet?” His answer told me everything I needed to know about his mood.
“You’re wrong, Joe.” I sighed. “Even if you weren’t, I love her. I’ve waited a decade to find her again and I’m not losing her.”
“You’ll regret it when she stabs you in the back.”
“You’ll regret it when you wake up and feel what I felt for the last decade.
The same way I know I love her, I know you either love her or feel something really fucking close to it.
I feel sorry for you. I know what you’re going to feel and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
You and Collin deserve to feel it, though.
” I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“She was burning up with a fever and you kicked her out. You tried to have the cops drag her out. I don’t know if I can forgive you for that. ”
He was quiet for a few seconds. “Is she okay?”
“Fuck you, Joe.” I let out a bitter laugh.
“Don’t ask me that. I just listened to her tell me she’s sorry about a hundred times while she was shaking with a fever.
She talked about apologizing to you and Collin over and over again.
She’s fucking delirious and can’t stop worrying about you two assholes.
That’s the woman you think was some super spy for David Mayhew.
That’s the woman you kicked out like a thief in the night. ”
“You just don’t want to see the truth, Judson.”
“I always thought Mom leaving fucked me up the most but now I know better. You and Collin were older and clearly felt the rejection more than I ever did. Your inability to be loved by a woman without assuming she’s the worst shows that you’re still that teenage boy, clenching his fists and baring his teeth after his mommy walked out.
Even if she forgives you, I don’t think I ever will.
” I swallowed a lump of emotion and forced myself to get the rest of my thoughts out.
“You and Collin need help. The way you were able to treat Ada tonight shows that much. I’m your brother and I love you but I’m ashamed of both of you. ”
I hung up and clenched my phone in my fist. Taking deep breaths, I stayed outside for a while longer before letting myself back into the room.
I checked on Milo once more and then kicked off my shoes before crawling into bed with Ada.
As I pulled her closer she curled into my chest and whimpered in her sleep.
“Shhh, sweet girl. Everything’s going to be okay.”