Chapter Twenty-Four
I’d fallen asleep in his arms, feeling my body sink deeper inside them. With him there, I felt safe from the dreams of Ruth, her red hair, seeing her deep underneath the water. They didn't come back when he was beside me. But as I woke again in the morning, Henry wasn’t anywhere to be found.
The smell of coffee filled my nose. As I stretched out in bed, I noticed a small table on top of which sat a large mug of coffee, half topped with chocolate dust and the small line of steam.
After the past couple of days on this island, this was the only way that I wanted to wake up now, with coffee sitting by my side.
As I curled myself up out of bed, I noticed the sting between my legs had soothed, another thing that I was grateful for.
It wasn’t completely gone but a lot less painful, which made the conversation that I had to have with Henry today about boundaries a hell of a lot better.
I sat up and took the mug of coffee to my lips, gazing out at what looked like it was going to be another beautiful sunny day. It was only when I went to sit the mug back down that I noticed the note that was sitting on the table. I tipped the sweet caffeine towards my mouth as I read:
Miss Molly.
I trust that you have slept well, and you take your time having a nice slow morning that you love and deserve, I’ll be downstairs waiting for you when you’re ready.
With love,
Henry.
Did he really think that everything was okay?
That last night didn’t change anything? I didn’t want to sweep under the rug about what happened last night.
I wanted him to feel open with me, I wanted him to be able to feel self-expressed with me.
But I never wanted to feel how I felt last night again.
And even though the pain was gone now, I was almost sure that I wasn’t exactly back in working action.
I had to tell him about Dylan too. It would be fine, anything that I needed to talk about wouldn’t change anything.
He loved me, he had said he had loved me, and I had already accepted the rose.
And as positive as I was forcing myself to be, I couldn’t help but feel the nerves that were flooding through my chest. I needed to rip this off like a Band-Aid before I gave myself any more time to think.
I jumped out of bed, running straight to the bathroom, stopping at the door.
“Ruth,” I called out.
“It’s still me, Miss Molly,” the scratchy voice of Aria sounded through the penthouse, but her image stayed hidden. “Is there anything that I can help you out with?”
“Oh no, I’m all good, thank you.”
“Oh my, Miss Molly, you… you…” Henry’s voice drifted off as he walked towards me when I came out of the elevator.
It was like he had been waiting for me right there since the moment that he left me the note.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispered in my ear, as he wrapped his arms around me.
I wasn’t exactly dressed for such a reaction.
I had straightened my hair and dabbed on some make up.
I didn’t exactly know how to get ready for the day because I was unsure what our plans were, so I had opted to throwing on some black wide leg yoga pants and a matching singlet.
“Thank you,” I said, letting go of his embrace and noticing the many red roses in the distance.
“Are you hungry?” he asked. I nodded and he took my hand and pulled me towards the sunken couch at the back of the ground floor.
On each corner of the large square couch were large vases filled with red roses and petals lining each side.
I stepped down onto the couch, which I had to admit I had been eyeing since I got here.
It looks so comfortable. In the middle of the white cousins lining each side was a picnic table filled with fruits, pancakes, pastries, syrups and even chocolate Danishes and almond croissants.
It was the ultimate sweet breakfast with not a single savory in sight.
“Are you trying to give me diabetes?” I joked, popping a strawberry in my mouth as I sunk into the cushions. Wow, it was like sitting on a literal cloud. I don’t think my body had ever touched something so supportive yet soft.
A small smile graced Henry’s lips but his eyes had a glint of concern.
“I’m sorry, I can get you something else if you like, I’ll get Jackie to whip it up right now…
I just… well, I really wanted today to be perfect and for me, it just seems like a sweet breakfast always gives off something a little bit extra, you know?
But if you would prefer, eggs or anything else, let me know and I can get it for you right now. ”
I shook my head. Henry was sitting next to me on the couch, his body turned towards me.
But he was twitching around, his body and voice both nervous.
I rested my hand firmly on the top of his thigh, pulling his attention towards me, bringing him into the vortex of us that we shared as I watched his shoulders instantly soften.
“I don’t want anything savory,” I said softly, “I was making a joke. You’re right, this is absolutely perfect.”
Henry sighed as he reached out for the side of my face, pulling me in towards him and placed a kiss in the middle of my forehead.
“But you might want something bitter,” said Jackie, appearing from around the corner with two more large mugs of coffee in her hands and the biggest painted-on smile on her face. Maybe she had always looked like that, more fake than genuine, but it was only now that I was seeing it.
She handed each of us a mug, and I thanked her before she quickly disappeared. Henry’s eyes locked on me as he took a long sip of his coffee before placing it down next to the tall stack of pancakes.
“Molly, I wanted this morning to be perfect for many reasons,” he said, as he took my hand into his. My heart began pounding unsure what exactly he was doing, but without hesitating, I turned my body towards his.
“Molly, I want today to be perfect, just like I really wanted this whole trip to be perfect for you. But unfortunately, so far, it hasn’t exactly been like that.
I know that after yesterday I have a lot to make up for,” said Henry, his gaze never leaving mine.
I went to open my mouth but before I could speak, he brought his finger to the tips of my lips.
“Sorry, I’m not trying to silence you, not at all, not in the slightest. I just don’t want you to condone what has happened or try and make any of this right.
I need to apologize for what happened last night.
” He cleared his throat, as he squeezed my hand tighter.
“I don’t even know where to begin with what I did to you, and to be honest, seeing everything back so clearly now.
What I did is really a completely unforgivable behavior.
You should never accept being hurt by anyone.
In fact, I was surprised that you didn’t run down here this morning begging to go home.
Because if you did, it would make perfect sense.
Not only should you never let yourself be physically hurt by someone who tells you that they love you, how I reacted after what happened was just cold.
And it was horrible. I personally don’t even believe that I deserve to give an explanation for how I acted, but I do just really want to try and explain where I was coming from, not that it should be excused.
” The pain in his eyes was evident, and I wasn’t going to excuse his behavior, well, not completely anyway.
I wanted to sit down this morning and talk about some boundaries like we said that we would last night, but for now I just sat in silence, nodding as I let Henry continue.
“I’m sorry for what I did, Molly. I am so beyond sorry.
There’s not even a word that exists yet for how I feel.
And the sad thing is, what I wish wasn’t true, was that I meant it when I said that I get carried away and I don’t know how to stop myself.
Only because well, I’ve never really had this chance…
I’ve never been with anyone that I can share this with.
I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to even share this with you yet, because as much as I love this and as much as I love how open that you’ve been.
I can’t put you in that danger again. I can’t and I won’t ever hurt you like that I promise, never again…
” His brow furrowed as his eyes watered.
“I have never felt more suited to anyone in my entire life before you. I messed up badly, but since I met you, well, I can’t imagine life without you….”
“Henry,” I said wiggling closer to him, so that there was no space left between our legs.
I raised my finger to his lips this time.
“I think you’re forgetting how alike we really are, and how much I really do understand you.
I know you never meant to hurt me, Henry.
I know it took over. And yes, it hurt me, I’m still hurting.
But I know your intentions weren’t bad ones.
We just need boundaries. Really good boundaries, because I don’t ever want to feel like that ever again. I can’t and I won’t.
“I know Molly, I know. I am so deeply sorry. And I also know that sorry is a pathetic word for what I put you through, it doesn’t make any of it better.” I watched his bottom lip tremble as he bit the inside of his lip, forcing it to stop shaking.