Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
S arah Sloan’s Review
Cole Carter: A thousand stars
Giving and kind. Powerful and Strong. Compassionate and brilliant. A real life hero, a man who would give all to save those he loves. The man I thought was my enemy was so much more.
My true love.
No.
The stairs collapsed, shattering into a thousand slices of timber.
No.
Cole descended to what could only be certain death.
No.
Sarah screamed, squeezing her eyes shut as screams and gasps played like a horror film soundtrack.
But then an impossible yell. “He’s still there!”
Yes.
Sarah opened her eyes, searching through the smoke and the flames and the flashing lights, desperately hunting for the man she loved. And then he was visible, hanging precariously by a single arm to a broken beam. “Cole!” she screamed.
He didn’t move, and for a second she feared whatever trance had made him unresponsive for those precious seconds had taken over. But then suddenly he was moving. “What is he doing?” she cried. “He needs to wait for the ladder.”
“It won’t make it in time,” a fireman yelled. “They couldn’t get the truck through the brush, so they’re carrying the ladder from the main road.”
Her eyes stung from the brightness of the flames as the man she loved dangled like a leaf on a snow-covered branch. Only the snow was ash and the branch was a broken beam seconds from snapping. Cole swung his leg down, and then… he let go of the beam.
She swallowed a scream as he cascaded down, but a few feet lower he suddenly stopped. He swung again, and again descended a few feet, sliding down the beam, she realized. Once more, he pushed off, reaching halfway to the ground. Suddenly a deep rumbling sounded from the building.
“Get back!” the firemen yelled. Even as she fought them, the men dragged her away from the burning building, away from Cole, away from her heart.
This time it wasn’t a set of stairs that swayed, but the entire structure. And this time, Sarah did scream as Cole let go, jumping the remaining distance to the ground just as the building twisted to the side, grunting with the last of its strength. Then Cole was lunging toward her.
A fierce explosion thundered as wood and leaves and brush spiraled from the raging inferno. Searing heat scorched Sarah’s back, threatening danger, but suddenly the pain was gone, shielded by something large and powerful.
The man who always protected her.
They took off in a run. A thousand moments passed, with a million thoughts and endless emotions. The blazing world seemed to go forever, until suddenly her lungs burned less and the fogginess cleared from her mind. She turned, heaving great breaths at the tragedy that almost claimed them. Firemen doused the building with water, conquering the flames.
It was over.
“We made it,” she breathed. Then, because there was only one place in the world she wanted to be, she threw herself into Cole’s arms.
“Sarah, I–”
With a headshake, she stopped him. Words didn’t matter now – she needed to show him how she felt. So she stood on the top of her toes, pulled him down and gave him the kiss of a lifetime.
She put every last bit of herself into that kiss, holding him as if her life depended on it, as it so recently had. He immediately took control, grasping her tight against his muscular body, capturing, commanding, possessing . Despite his near death-defying stint, he remained uncompromisingly powerful. Only her warrior could walk through fire and emerge unscathed.
Finally, he pulled back, yet he still held her close. “Are you all right?”
“I am now,” she said honestly. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.” He leaned down. “Because of you.”
“Now enough of that, you two,” a jovial voice sounded next to them. Donovan clapped Cole on the back. “Gave us quite a scare back there, guys, but you did it. You saved the kids, and now the firefighters got everything under control. The paramedics want to examine you.”
Sarah stepped back, or at least she tried. Cole didn’t let her. She lifted her chin. “Of course. He needs medical attention.”
“I’m fine,” Cole rumbled, “but you should definitely get checked out.”
Sarah shook her head firmly. She was fine, better than she’d been her entire life. And suddenly she had something very important to reveal to the man she loved. It might not be the ideal time or place, but nearly losing your life changes perspectives. There wasn’t always an ideal time to seize what you want.
Sometimes you just have to go for it.
She took a smoky breath of courage. “Cole, when I thought I was going to lose you, I… I… well, what I mean to say is…”
He placed a finger over her lips. “No.”
She blinked. “No?”
His eyes blazed with emotion. “We need to talk, but not now. There’s something I have to do first.”
What could he possibly have to do that was more important than the revelation she was about to make? Before she could press, paramedics descended upon them, and they were taken to separate ambulances for evaluations despite their protests. They both endured thorough checkups before being declared hale and hearty, and then the investigation beckoned.
They worked until the wee hours of the morning, appraising the scene, rounding up evidence and cleaning the mess. Scott was sent to jail, where he would face a slew of charges, along with an immediate dismissal from the force, of course. At least he finally realized the gravity of what he’d done, muttering apologies even as they led him away. With his confession, Sarah was exonerated.
The first rays of dawn were peeking over the horizon when they finally completed their work. As everyone left to seek a few hours of sleep, Cole approached her. “I need to tell you something.”
By his ominous tone, it was not the same revelation she had planned. Concern squeezed her chest. “Okay.”
He took a breath. “It’s something you probably already realize, or at least suspect from our past conversations. I’m just not sure how to put it into words.”
She reached out and grasped his muscular arm. “You just saved my life, Cole. There’s nothing you can say that would make me think any differently of you.”
He hesitated, nodded. “I believe you. I think I have–” He shook his head, started again, “I’m sure I have a problem.”
Empathy softened taut muscles, but she didn’t show it. Cole neither needed nor wanted her pity.
“You were right about my nightmares. It wasn’t the first time, or even the hundredth. Every single night, I dream of my troops. You can’t imagine what it’s like to see your friends die, with nothing you can do.” Haunted memories darkened his eyes, a hundred losses she couldn’t conceive.
She spoke softly, “You did make a difference. You saved so many people.”
He gazed up at the brilliant sunrise. The morning stars twinkled with unknown power, far bigger and stronger than their pinprick images revealed. “There were too many I couldn’t save. Kids barely out of high school. Young men with families. My best friend…” His voice faltered. When he started again, it was once more filled with strength. “I never truly faced it.”
Like her, he always showed strength and independence. Yet no one was invulnerable, and running from challenges risked far worse consequences. Perhaps they were more alike than she realized. “That’s why you’re having nightmares. You went far and beyond and then some. You returned to dangerous condition to save more people. You risked your life when others would’ve fled. When you were injured, they had to drag you away because you refused to leave.”
He whipped his head around. “I should have saved them all.”
“You have to accept that wasn’t possible.” Sarah grasped his hand, impossibly cold after the heated night. Survivor guilt was a powerful thing. “You may be an extraordinary human, but you’re still human. You did everything you could.”
He gazed at her for an eternity’s second, gave a short nod. If only she could make him believe it. She would try for as long as it took. “So many people come back from the service in the same situation. Do you know how proud I am of you?”
A ghost of a smile played on his lips. Yet it disappeared a second later. “There’s more. The nightmares haven’t just occurred at night. I’ve had… visions… a few times during the day. Once when I was in the tree at Mrs. Carmichaels’ home, and then again during the fire.”
So that’s what happened when he went into a trance. She kept her voice soft. “That must’ve been difficult.”
He exhaled a shuddering breath. “I thought if I ignored them, they would go away, but it’s only getting worse. So I’m going to get help. But I need to know if you’re okay with this. I never want to be a burden.”
“You think you could ever be a burden?” Sarah put her hands on her hips. “For goodness sakes, you’re like Superman.”
Cole smiled widely as Sarah closed her eyes. “Can we forget I just compared you to my elementary school crush?”
His smile widened even more.
“Can we forget I just admitted my elementary school crush was a comic book character?” She cringed. “The point is you could never be a burden. You’re the bravest man I know, and I want to help you through this. I’m behind you… always.”
He grazed her cheek. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
She was the fortunate one, to have this man she loved with all her heart. By his expression, the feeling was mutual. She took a deep breath, and so did he. Was he about to admit his feelings?
“If you don’t need anything else, I’m going to go.”
What? She blinked. “You’re leaving?”
He nodded solemnly. “We need to talk, but there’s something I need to do first.”
She tried to hide her disappointment, but it was as obvious as her recent disguise. She’d hoped he’d come home with her – and never leave. “It’s barely morning. I have so much to tell you.”
“Me too. But I can’t plan the future until I settle the past. I promise this will be the last time I leave.” He leaned in, whispered so only she could hear, “You can’t get rid of me.”
She shivered at the possessive tone. She would never let him go, either.
He edged away, clearly as reluctant to leave as she was to have him go. “I’ll see you at the council meeting.”
“They’re still having it?” The words emerged sharp, loud and incredulous. Were they planning to fire her? Everyone knew she was innocent, and the true criminal had been caught. Yet it had taken a long time, with nearly fatal results. No one would fault them if they took her badge.
“It’s still on,” Cole confirmed, “but don’t worry. Your job isn’t in danger. They’ve decided to go in a different direction.” His voice softened. “Go home and get some rest. Donovan is going to drive with you to make sure you get home safe. I’ll grab a ride with one of the firemen.”
Even now, he continued to watch over her. So she said good-bye without saying all the other things she wanted to say and watched the man she loved walk away. Yet a thousand questions swirled: What did he have to do that was so important? What did he have planned?
Would it change her life?
When the fire marshal dropped him off at the station, Cole didn’t waste time going home before continuing to his destination. It didn’t matter – the man he sought wouldn’t notice how he looked, much less realize the untimely hour. The sun was just making its bright debut as he knocked sharply on the rickety door.
“What is it?” The man opened the door, his eyes bloodshot, his teeth yellow, his breath smelling, of course, like alcohol. “What are you doing here?” Alfred Tanning sneered.
Cole steeled himself. If it were just him, he’d walk away, leave the man to the consequences of his decisions. But he had a woman to think about now, and he was going to do right by her. “Your daughter almost died today.”
For once, the man’s eyes focused, in a face devoid of color. “Sarah?” he whispered. “Is she all right?”
“Yes, no thanks to you. She almost died in a fire fighting to save her name. The same name you trashed again and again when you let her take the fall for you.”
The man sagged against the doorframe. “Thank goodness. If something happened to my baby…” His eyes turned watery. “There’d be nothing good left in my world.”
Cole stared, silent at the startling confession. So the man loved his daughter after all.
“I never meant for this to happen.” Alfred’s eyes lost their focus, as his tone turned quieter. “I was going to admit the truth the first time, when I stole that stupid pack of cigarettes, but Sarah begged me not to. She said they would take her away, and I couldn’t bear that. Sheriff Carter – your dad – said he would take care of everything, and I promised to never do it again. Only I got drunk, and it happened again. And then again and again, and suddenly so much time had passed, there was no going back. And now there’s no point.”
“No point?” Fury raged, at what the man had done, at what he was still doing. “Your legacy follows Sarah every single day. She’s the sheriff, a job she got despite you, and you’re showing up drunk all over town. She doesn’t make a whole lot of money, and half of it goes to clean up your mess.”
Alfred hung his head. “I know,” he whispered. “Don’t you think I’d change if I could?”
Cole speared him with a harsh gaze. “Actually, you can, and I’m going to give you one last chance. I’m going to tell you something I haven’t even told Sarah. I love your daughter. I love her with all my heart, and I’m going to marry her. She said there’s an excellent rehab, a place where you can beat your addiction, or at least give you a fighting chance. I’ll pay for it if you’re willing to do the time. If you agree, someone will be here in an hour to get you cleaned up and start the process. It has to be your decision, your choice to fix your life. What do you say?”
Alfred took a deep breath, then stood taller. His eyes sharpened, filled with something akin to hope . “Yes.”
With a curt nod, Cole pivoted and strode from the house. The older man’s destiny was now his own. Alfred Tanning had made the decision to fight for his future.
Time to do the same.
“Son?” Jack Carter stared at Cole. “Are you all right?”
Cole couldn’t fault his father’s reaction, as he dusted down his sooty clothes and wiped ashes from his eyes. He looked like a chimney after a four-alarm fire. “I’m fine, Dad. Filthy and exhausted. but not hurt.”
A gasp sounded in the background. His mother ran up and grasped him by the shoulders, pulling him into an embrace of dust, dirt and ash. “Does anything hurt? Tell me.”
“I’m all right.” Cole held up both hands but couldn’t stop a smile. While his dad always treated him like a man, his mother hadn’t quite gotten around to believing he’d grown up. “Actually, it’s good news. We caught the arsonist. It wasn’t Sarah.”
“Never thought it was.” His father moved aside so Cole could enter. Cole walked in but remained standing. His mother wouldn’t appreciate a blackened sofa. “Who did it?”
“Scott Easton.”
His father whistled low. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Something always seemed off about that boy, like he was a little too perfect.”
Cole grimaced. “I wish I’d figured that out sooner.” The past flashed back, the times he’d let him get away with far too much. Scott’s actions had been a harbinger, but Cole couldn’t blame himself. He’d fooled everyone. “I also wish I’d made some different decisions back in the day. Now I’m just happy everything was resolved before anyone got hurt.” The time for regrets was over. Now it was time to move forward. “Are you planning on attending the council meeting today? They’re doing something special for Sarah.”
His parents gave identical nods. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jack studied him, and suddenly Cole was a teenager all over again. “Son, as glad as I am to see you, you didn’t rush here dressed in smoke to tell us about a council meeting or even the arrest. What’s going on?”
Cole took a deep breath, looked down. Why had he thought he could keep something from his father? “I’m here to ask for help.”
Jack didn’t hesitate. “Anything, son.”
Cole tightened and flexed his muscles. He’d faced so much when his troops – his friends – died. How could a few words to two of the most important people in his life be so difficult? “I need to deal with what happened in the service. I tried to handle it on my own, but it’s not enough. I need help to get past it.”
His father’s gaze held only respect, and not a trace of pity. “It takes a strong man to admit that. Very few people could’ve made it through the hell you faced without some scars. You’re far from alone.”
Cole exhaled. Admitting he couldn’t deal on his own was terrifying, but so were the nightmares. He’d almost lost his life because of it. “I’ve seen what happens when people run from their demons, and how it affects the people they love. I don’t want that.” He straightened. “You said you know someone who deals with stuff like this, who’s been through it before and now helps others.”
Jack nodded. “One of my friends saw some rough times in the service. He made his way through it, got a degree in the field and now helps others. He runs a group and offers a wide range of resources. It’s tough, but if you’re willing to do the work, it can make a huge difference.”
“I’m willing.” The future never seemed brighter. It was time to grasp it. “I better get home. It’s going to take hours to get this smoke off, and I have a big day tomorrow – or rather today.” He strode to the front door but didn’t walk through. Instead he turned back to his parents.
His dad stood tall, still so strong, so powerful after all these years. Yet his eyes were glassy, his voice strangely rough, as he rumbled, “Don’t forget the most important thing of all, son. How much I love you.” Then his father, iron-tough sheriff for over three decades, embraced him.
And even to a grown man, it felt wonderful . “Thanks, Dad.”
His dad patted him on the back a few times, and his mother took his place. “That goes for me, too.” She gave him a soft embrace. He hugged her tight.
“Don’t worry.” His dad winked. “I have a good feeling about tomorrow.”
Cole grinned. So did he.