Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
Jackson
Jules, Samuel, Katie, Alex, Evelyn, and I all sat and waited for some word about Emily’s condition.
“Jackson,” Carter spoke as he walked into the room and removed his scrub cap. “I stopped the bleeding, and now she’s in recovery. She’ll be sleeping for a few more hours, but you can go in and see her if you’d like.”
“So, she’s going to be okay?” I asked.
“As long as no other complications arise, she’ll be fine. She will be observed for the next twenty-four hours.”
“Thank you, Carter.”
“You’re welcome. She’s a fighter.” He smiled. “Come on. I’ll take you to her room.”
I stood inside the doorway and stared at her for a moment before going to her bedside. Her head was wrapped in a white bandage, her arm in a cast, and the wires that stuck out of her hospital gown were hooked up to machines that made a soft beeping noise. She looked fragile but at peace.
Walking over to her bedside, I lightly took hold of her hand and sat in the chair next to the bed. Leaning over, I placed my head on her arm.
“I’m here with you, Emily, and I’m never leaving your side again. We have so much to talk about, and I have so much to say to you. I almost lost you tonight, and that would have destroyed me because I never got to tell you that I love you and that I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me and never wanted to see me again, but at least I got the chance to tell you.”
“She doesn’t hate you, Jackson,” Katie softly said as she entered the room.
“Did you know about the baby?” I asked her.
“Yes. She just told me the other day, and she was going to tell you after she got herself sorted out in Montauk. You have to believe that she wouldn’t keep that from you.”
“I’m going to make it up to her.” I looked over at Katie.
“I’m sure she’ll like that. She never stopped loving you.”
All of a sudden, Katie began to cry. I got up from my seat and wrapped my arms around her.
“Shh.”
“She could have died.”
“I know. But she’s here, and she’ll be fine, and that’s what we need to focus on. Not the ‘could haves’ and the ‘what ifs.’”
I held her for a few moments until she composed herself, and then she walked over to Emily’s bedside and kissed her forehead.
“I’m so happy you’re going to be okay,” she spoke.
A few hours had passed, and Emily still wasn’t awake. As my head was lying on her arm, I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” Jules said. “I’ll call you when she wakes up.”
“No. I want to be here. I’m not leaving her again.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“I’ll stop by in the morning.” She smiled as she kissed the top of my head and walked out of the room.
I lay my head back down beside her and felt her fingers move underneath my hand. When I lifted my head, she opened her eyes and looked at me.
“Jackson?” she whispered.
“I’m here.” I smiled.
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital. You were in a bad accident.”
She placed her hands on her stomach.
“The baby.”
Tears filled my eyes as I looked into hers and saw nothing but fear. This was the moment I dreaded the most.
“I’m sorry, Emily. The baby didn’t make it.”
“NO!” she cried as she turned her head away from me.
I sat on the edge of the bed and carefully wrapped my arms around her, holding and comforting her the best I could while she sobbed until she fell asleep.
Emily
I was in so much pain. Not only physically but mentally as well. My body hurt from the accident, and my heart and mind hurt at the loss of my baby. I couldn’t cope very well, so I fell asleep to try and escape my pain.
I opened my eyes to the sounds of voices in my room.
“Good morning, Emily.” Carter smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Terrible.”
“That’s to be expected. You’ve been through quite an ordeal. I’m just going to check your incision. I used glue to close it, so you don’t have to worry about scarring or getting it wet. It looks good.” He winked.
Jules walked over to my side and held my hand.
“You had us so worried.” Tears filled her eyes.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “The baby.”
“I know, sweetie, and I’m so sorry.”
Carter and Jules left, and Jackson sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry, Emily. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
My head was filled with so many thoughts that I couldn’t sort them all out. All I could remember was the pain and heartache I felt when he walked out of my apartment that night and never looked back. I was also angry that it took something like this for him to see me. The tremendous guilt I felt over losing our baby overwhelmed me, and I didn’t make for very good company. I didn’t want anything from Jackson because I was past that point. I would tell him about the baby when I returned because he had the right to know. But I was also going to tell him that I was relinquishing him of all parental duties and that I’d be raising the baby alone, just like my mother did with me. And now, he was here, apologizing and doing everything possible to make me believe that he was sorry. But what he didn’t know was that a protective wall once again surrounded my shattered heart so I would never experience that kind of pain again.
Jackson
Emily wouldn’t respond to my apology, and she was distant. I knew she was upset about the baby, and I didn’t want to bring it up to her. But I wasn’t going to stop trying. I loved her and was going to get her back no matter what it took. She was my life, and I realized that and would spend every day letting her know whether she wanted me to or not. Emily Wade was going to be my girl. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a month. But we would be together as a couple in time.