Chapter 23
Asher
“She’s going to marry me,” I told Cole as soon as he answered the phone.
It was the day before we were due to leave for Texas, and I’d made my decision the day before.
Maybe we’d only been together for a short time, but I couldn’t imagine my life without Sierra anymore.
She was going to marry me.
This couldn’t end any other way.
Sierra was mine, and she was always going to be mine.
Cole chuckled. “It’s good to talk to you, too, brother. Does Sierra know this happy event is going to happen?”
Sierra had gone shopping with Reese, and I’d stayed behind to finish some things for my meeting in Austin.
“Not yet,” I grumbled.
“Don’t you think you should tell her before you announce it to me?”
“No,” I said unhappily. “I don’t think she’s ready to hear it yet.”
“Why not?” he asked curiously.
“Something bad happened to her, Cole. Really bad. They’re her secrets to tell, but her past was worse than I ever could have imagined. Hell, I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to be in a committed relationship again.”
“She told you about her past?” he questioned.
“Everything,” I said flatly. “The truth nearly killed me. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
“Whatever happened, I’m sorry that Sierra had to go through it,” Cole said in a sincere voice.
“Me, too,” I said stoically.
I had no doubt that Sierra would share with the people she called friends at some point in the future, but she’d do it in her own time.
“So you’ve gone from not knowing what’s going to happen to marriage?” he joked. “I assume she’s definitely the one.”
“No question,” I said stiffly.
My brother and I hadn’t discussed romantic relationships in the past because neither one of us had one.
We’d both been workaholics in Austin.
I knew that Cole had gotten laid occasionally, but he’d never dated anyone seriously.
I hadn’t been with a woman in a long time before Sierra, but I’d had my share of liaisons when I was younger.
So yeah, discussing women and relationships was unusual for the two of us.
“Promise me you won’t get married before my honeymoon is over,” Cole said lightly.
“That won’t happen,” I said grumpily. “Sierra and I haven’t even talked about the future. Hell, I don’t want to rush her. She’s been through a lot.”
“Buy her stuff,” Cole suggested. “That helped me. A little.”
“Tried that,” I answered. “She’s not happy about me upgrading her phone and getting her a new laptop, but she needed them.”
Cole made a sound of disgust. “She has to give you something. We need to feel useful. Giving our women things that they might want or need comes naturally to us.”
“I don’t think she completely gets that,” I explained. “She’s got more project offers than she can handle. I know she can take care of herself. She doesn’t understand that giving her things she needs or wants makes me fucking happy.”
“Be patient,” Cole instructed. “Lauren used to argue when I bought her stuff. I think she finally accepted the fact that I just want to give her things. Not because she can’t take care of herself but because I love her.”
“We leave for Austin tomorrow,” I informed him. “I have a meeting I really want to do in person. We’re going to the Houston area afterward to see her mom. I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, but I asked our cousins to check on our places and the horses while I’m gone.”
That was the reason I’d called Cole in the first place. I’d wanted him to know I’d be out of state for several days.
Maybe a week or two…
I wasn’t certain.
I had no idea how long Sierra was going to want to visit with her mother, and I was flexible.
I could work remotely.
I knew that she had bad memories in Texas, so I was going to leave our length of stay completely up to her.
“Someone will be by our places every day,” Cole said confidently. “Maybe more than one of them. How do you feel about doing the meeting in Austin?”
“I’ll be fine,” I told him. “I probably won’t love the crowds when we go out, but Sierra has never been to Austin. I’d like to take a day to show her the city.”
“It’s going to be weird to see you getting out when we get home, but I’m grateful for it. I’ve missed doing things together.”
My gut tightened as I thought about how much my isolation had hurt my little brother.
The two of us had only had each other, and when I’d isolated myself, Cole had been worried.
I’d known it, but there had been nothing I could do.
I hadn’t been ready to get treatment until very recently.
I’d kept telling myself that I’d get over whatever was happening to me, but I’d been incapable of living a normal life.
I knew he understood that, but I still hated the fact that he’d probably been a little lost about what to do.
“I’m getting better, Cole,” I promised.
“Thank fuck!” he said adamantly. “It will be nice to go out for a steak in Billings without watching you sweat your way through the meal.”
I smirked. “I’ll take you and Lauren out when you get back.”
“I’m counting on it,” he confirmed. “So what are you going to do about Sierra?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “Nothing right now. Fuck! I appreciate what I have, but you were right when you said I was going to want more. I’d have a ring on her finger and a date set if I wasn’t worried about rushing her. I still don’t know what she wants, and if I rush her…”
“You’re worried you’ll scare her off,” Cole stated. “I get it. My feelings for Lauren were pretty intense. I felt the same way. I knew I needed to slow my roll. I just wasn’t sure how.”
“You obviously managed,” I said drily. “You weren’t ready to marry her in a week or two.”
“It didn’t exactly happen slowly,” he said with amusement in his voice. “I eventually lost my damn patience. I guess I was lucky that Lauren was as certain as I was about what she wanted. I considered myself a lucky asshole because she loved me. I still do.”
“How do you put yourself out there?” I asked.
“You just know it’s time,” he explained. “It will get to the point that you just need to know if she feels the same way. Telling her how you feel will be more important than possible rejection.”
“In the meantime?” I asked.
“In the meantime, you spoil her rotten and enjoy what you have. Neither one of you have had an easy life, Asher. You both deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy,” I shared. “That actually scares the hell out of me sometimes.”
Cole laughed. “I get it, but you’ll get used to it. Have fun on your trip and try not to think about the future. We sold our tech company to have some leisure time. We’ve worked hard our whole damn lives, Asher. Forget about business and focus on Sierra.”
“I’ll do my best,” I replied. “How’s the honeymoon?”
Cole was right.
Our childhood had been miserable, and then we’d spent all of our adult lives building a massive amount of wealth.
It was time for both of us to prioritize things that were more important than business.
“I’ve been to a lot of the places we’re visiting,” Cole mused. “But visiting those places with Lauren is different. I took those other visits for granted. I never really saw anything. I was too busy making money.”
“Is Lauren enjoying these places, too?”
“Probably even more than I am,” Cole said, amused. “I love watching her marvel over all of the tourist attractions. I’m going to miss that when we get home.”
“There will be more vacations,” I said.
“Definitely,” he answered. “But until that happens, I’ll miss those looks of wonder on her beautiful face. It’s been a pretty amazing honeymoon.”
“It’s not over,” I reminded him. “I’ll let you get back to it. I just wanted to talk for a few minutes. Texting isn’t the same thing.”
“Asher?” Cole said huskily.
“Yeah?”
“It means a lot to me that I’m getting my brother back.”
I swallowed hard.
Fuck!
“There’s probably been times when I just wasn’t there for you,” I said remorsefully.
“Bullshit!” he said forcefully. “You’ve always been there for me, Asher.
I know you protected me when we were young.
I might not know the details, but I know it happened.
I was probably too young to understand why you seemed to get some of the brutal beatings that I didn’t sometimes.
But I remember the bloody mess you were when you came back to our room.
So don’t ever say that you weren’t there for me.
I would have gone crazy if I’d had to grow up without you.
You’ve always taken care of me and protected me even though you aren’t that much older than I am.
There’s never been a time that you weren’t there for me when I needed you.
I’m a big boy now, Asher. Maybe it’s time for me to be there for you. ”
“That’s not the way it works,” I said gruffly. “I’m your big brother. And you’ve always been there for me, Cole. Just FYI…I hate what happened when we were kids, but I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up without you, either.”
Hell, we’d probably kept each other sane because we’d always had each other to talk to.
It was always Cole and me against the rest of the world.
Maybe that hadn’t exactly been healthy, but we’d managed to survive our past.
Problem was, my brother had other priorities now, and we didn’t need to fight the whole world anymore.
“I’m glad we’ve always had each other,” Cole said in a low, sincere voice. “I’m married now, and Lauren is my everything, but I’ll always be there if you need me, Asher.”
I knew that.
I’d also hoped that he’d get married to a good woman and have a family someday.
I’d always wanted something better than solitude for Cole.
“Same,” I said hoarsely. “Now get back to your honeymoon. I suck at emotional discussions.”
Cole and I didn’t voice our emotions often, but I’d always known how he felt and vice versa.
“Don’t sweat the situation with Sierra,” Cole said earnestly. “If you two care about each other, it’s all going to work out.”
Hell, I hoped he was right because I wasn’t quite sure how I’d go on with my life if it didn’t.