Chapter 12
Hannah
“S o tell me exactly what you want,” I instructed Lauren as we sat in front of the mirror in the enormous master bathroom at Anna Remington’s house.
Anna was sitting in a chair right next to Lauren’s, waiting for the color I’d put in her hair for highlights to be finished.
I had to admit that it had been a little unnerving to be standing next to an international pop star, but Anna was so nice that I’d soon forgotten that she was a superstar.
She and Lauren had been so kind to me, and I’d really appreciated that enthusiasm and kindness since I’d rarely had that kind of reception in Crystal Fork since I’d returned here.
I’d really missed being treated like a welcome guest, and being with people who acted like they really wanted me to be here felt really good.
Lauren took a deep breath and let it out as she looked in the mirror. “I’m not sure. I just want something…different. Anna talked me into getting contacts, so I look better than I did when I was wearing my clunky glasses, but I want something more…sophisticated and chic. I’ve looked frumpy since I was a teenager. I’ve lost a few pounds since I got back to Crystal Fork because I’m more active here, but I hate my hair, and I suck at doing makeup. I guess I just want to feel more attractive and confident. I know I can’t really fix my boring image, but it would be nice if a guy would look at me and actually see me.”
“You are not frumpy,” I insisted. “Maybe you’re just tired of the same look. Sometimes it helps to change things up a little. How do you feel about going shorter?”
Lauren had beautiful, dark blonde hair, but it was thick and long. For as long as I’d known her, she’d usually worn it in a very long braid to keep her long hair manageable.
She also had incredible blue eyes that had been understated by her glasses, and they were stunning now that she was wearing contacts.
She’d spent a lot of years studying in college to get her doctorate degree, and she was intellectually gifted.
I had a feeling it wasn’t her looks that scared men away.
It was the fact that she was much smarter than the average guy.
In my mind, all she needed was a man who could keep up with her intelligence level, or one who wasn’t intimidated by it.
I’d do everything I could to make her feel better about herself and boost her confidence, but I certainly would never tell her to dumb herself down just to attract a man. Her intelligence was a gift, and she was perfect exactly as she was.
“I’m up for whatever you think will help this mess,” Lauren said gratefully.
I ran my fingers through the hair she’d unbraided. “I think we should highlight it, and do some layers. I’ll take some length off so you don’t feel weighed down by your hair. After we’re done, I’ll show you how to do your makeup and write down what we used so you can order it or pick it up somewhere.”
“I think that would be amazing,” Anna commented from her chair.
Lauren smiled at me in the mirror. “I’m beyond ready for this makeover.”
I mixed the color I was going to use for highlights, and then started highlighting her hair.
I could switch back and forth from Lauren to Anna if I timed it right.
“I feel guilty,” Anna said unhappily as I worked.
“Why?” I asked as I shot her a quick, sympathetic look.
“Before I found out what really happened between you and Tanner, I blamed you for the breakup.”
Lauren nodded slightly. “I hate to admit that I jumped to conclusions, too. Tanner never really talked to me much about the breakup, but Devon mentioned that Tanner thought you’d left him for another man. Part of me found that hard to believe, but I felt bad for Tanner. He’s like a brother to me.”
I smiled at both of them. “Do you think I’d ever blame either of you? You didn’t know me that well, Lauren, and you were close to Tanner.”
“I knew you,” Lauren argued. “Maybe I didn’t know you well, but something in my gut told me that you’d never do that, and I didn’t listen to that instinct.”
“He hurt you pretty badly, didn’t he?” Lauren asked in an empathetic tone. “Anna told me about what Tanner told Kaleb about the real reason for the breakup.”
I nodded slowly. I was getting to really like both of these women, and I didn’t want to lie to them because they’d been so nice to me. “He did. But it happened a long time ago. He apologized, and I think he’s genuinely remorseful for what happened. I’m okay with it.”
“I love Tanner,” Lauren said. “He’s been like an older brother to me since I lost my own brother. But I think he was a major asshole. I know how much he changed during that time in his life. We spoke occasionally, but he wasn’t the same guy he’d been before KTD exploded. I knew it wasn’t because he didn’t care about me or how I was doing, but his interest in listening to me was nonexistent. I was grateful to get the Tanner I knew back into my life after his father died. It was like he suddenly came to his senses and snapped back to being the Tanner I knew and loved.”
I mentally filed that information.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who had noticed how much Tanner had changed during that period in time.
“It took a little longer for Kaleb to let go of his workaholic ways,” Anna mentioned. “He was still struggling with it when we met, but I don’t think he was as obsessed as they’d all been when KTD suddenly started to become a mega company.”
Lauren sighed. “I think Kaleb worked like that to keep busy. I don’t think he wanted to think about his father’s death. Finding closure would have meant that he had to accept that his dad was gone. I’m glad he finally found that closure after he met you. He was extremely close to his father.”
“And Devon?” I asked curiously. “Do you think he found closure?”
Lauren shrugged. “Devon is…Devon. He’s charming and funny sometimes, but it’s hard to read his emotions or motivations. He doesn’t open up very often. He covers his emotions in sarcasm, cynicism, and bad humor most of the time, but underneath all that, he’s a decent guy. I just don’t think he wants anyone to know that.”
“I heard that Tanner is trying to make up for what he did,” Anna said. “Is that true?”
“Yes,” I confided. “He’s trying to dispel the rumors that I dumped him for another man. He wants to be friendly so some of the people in town stop treating me like dirt.”
“I really hate the gossip in this town,” Lauren griped.
“I guess I’m used to having rumors spread about me,” Anna explained. “But what’s happening around town since you got back is ridiculous. I have to admit that I’ve heard kinder things going around since you had drinks with Tanner at The Mug And Jug Saturday. I think you should be friendly with him. He owes it to you to make sure those rumors are completely gone.”
“He’s been very willing to do that,” I assured her.
“But?” Lauren questioned.
“But doing that is a little complicated for me,” I explained. “I guess I still don’t trust him, and I’m not sure being around him is good for me.”
“You’re still attracted to him,” Anna guessed. “That’s why it’s complicated, right?”
“How did you know?” I asked, surprised.
Anna smiled ruefully. “I kind of went through that same problem after I met Kaleb. I didn’t trust him in the beginning, and I barely knew him. But I wanted to get him naked almost from the first moment I met him. That chemistry was there almost right away. We wanted to just be friends, but that didn’t work out well for either of us.”
“Tanner and I were together for a long time,” I explained. “But that chemistry never faded away for me. I guess that attraction was so strong that it’s hard to shake.”
“Then a friendship might not be possible,” Anna warned. “If Kaleb and I ever separated, I sure as hell couldn’t be his friend.”
Finished with Lauren’s highlights, I turned to work on Anna’s hair. “But it’s been over seven years for Tanner and me. I think I’m over everything except my lingering attraction to him.”
Okay, I wasn’t exactly sure that was true, but I wanted to think it was the truth.
As I started shampooing her hair, she answered, “I think you should let him clear things up regardless. Be seen with him, let the gossip disappear. I adore Tanner. I don’t think he’d ever intentionally hurt you again, but I know what it’s like to try to be a man’s friend when you want to jump him every single moment of the day. Just be careful, Hannah.”
“I completely agree,” Lauren added.
My heart warmed as I realized that Anna and Lauren were trying to protect my heart.
They both knew and loved Tanner, but they wanted to make sure that I was okay, too.
I’d ached for this kind of relationship with female friends again, and they probably had no idea how much their comradery meant to me.
“Can you manage to be with him without getting hurt?” Lauren asked softly.
“I think so,” I mused. “It feels pretty awkward right now because we’re both used to another type of relationship, but there was a strong friendship component to our relationship, too.”
“Tanner is pretty stubborn,” Lauren commented. “I doubt he’s going to give up until everyone in this town treats you the way you should be treated.”
“We haven’t actually made any plans for this week,” I shared. “I’m not even sure we’ll see each other.”
“He’ll show up somewhere,” Lauren said. “He has an overinflated sense of guilt and honor sometimes. I also think he probably wants to be there for you when you need him now. He really is different, Hannah. He isn’t the same guy he was when you broke up. He hasn’t been for a long time.”
“Do you really think he’s changed that much?” I asked cautiously.
“You know Tanner,” Lauren replied. “Even when he was being a jerk, he was generally honest, and he was faithful. He’s not a manipulator. If he says he wants to help, he’s doing it for the right reasons. He obviously wants to help make things right.”
Her statements made sense to me.
Maybe Tanner had neglected our relationship, but he’d never tried to gaslight me or manipulate me.
I wasn’t sure if doing something like that was even in his nature.
It was probably totally wrong for me to think that Tanner had any ulterior motives.
He never had before.
What you saw was what you got with Tanner.
“I guess we’ll just see what happens this week,” I said as I dried Anna’s hair with a towel.
“You don’t just have to count on Tanner to help,” Anna said. “We can go out around town together when I get back from New York. If people see us together, it will be further proof that there’s no hard feelings between you and Tanner or his family.”
“I’ll go, too,” Lauren offered in an enthusiastic voice.
“But you’re both so busy, and—”
“Not that busy,” Anna insisted. “I’d honestly like to be friends with you, Hannah, if you’ll let me. My best friend in the world was my stylist back in Los Angeles. We hardly get to see each other anymore. This world in Crystal Fork is so damn new to me, and I could use genuine friends.”
“Me, too,” Lauren added. “Anna and I could use an addition to our ‘getting used to a small town after living in the city’ club.”
I’d been so damn lonely since I’d gotten back from Seattle, and it seemed incredible to me that Anna and Lauren were both adamant about being my friend.
I genuinely liked both of these women, and it would be so nice to have friends I could talk to again.
“Let’s meet up at The Mug And Jug for coffee when I get back,” Anna suggested. “I can never get enough coffee.”
“I’ll end up having one of the cinnamon rolls,” Lauren said like she was disgusted with herself. “I can’t resist them.”
“I’ll split one with you,” Anna offered. “Since I got married and went on a honeymoon that was like an eating orgy, I’m barely squeezing into my stage costumes.”
“I suppose that would be better than me wolfing down the whole thing myself,” Lauren replied.
“Carbs and sugar are my downfall, too,” I shared.
We commiserated for a few minutes about how unfair it was to love food but not be able to eat many of the things we loved without putting on weight.
By the end of the long appointment, we’d found that we had a lot of other things in common, too.
I was incredibly grateful that I was going to see these two women again soon.
It was the most enjoyable appointment I’d had in a very long time.