Chapter 20
Tanner
“I ’m surprised that you actually accepted my invite to have dinner,” Devon said drily. “I was sure you and Hannah had become attached at the hip.”
I was prepared to dig into my chicken fried steak that had just been delivered to our table at Charlie’s when I grumbled, “Hannah and Lauren went to the spa in Billings today. They’re going to stop to have some dinner there.”
“So I’m your backup plan?” he asked jokingly.
“Basically, yes,” I shot back. “Mom ate already, and Kaleb is out of town with Anna. And Hannah and I are not attached at the hip. We don’t spend every night together.”
To my regret, we’d missed a few nights together in the last three weeks.
Devon grinned as he picked up his burger. “Okay, almost every night. Not that I blame you. She’s a lot prettier than I am. How are things going between the two of you?”
“Good,” I said with shrug. “Her business is almost up and running.”
He frowned. “I’m not asking about business, Tanner. I’m talking about you and Hannah. I’ve seen the two of you together. We all have. It’s blatantly obvious that you’d like a lot more than a business arrangement or a friendship. Sometimes you look almost desperate for a whole lot more. Your balls must be bright blue by now.”
Hell, I was hoping I wasn’t that obvious.
Getting myself off every night wasn’t working for me.
It didn’t even take the edge off for me anymore.
My dick was hard the moment I saw Hannah, and that condition didn’t stop until she was long out of sight.
“I’ll handle the blue balls as long as necessary,” I told him. “I want a lot more than a bed partner with Hannah, and I’ll get that, eventually.”
Devon looked up from his food. “How much more?”
I’d talked to Kaleb and Devon about Hannah, but I’d avoided telling them exactly where I wanted our relationship to go.
“Everything,” I said huskily as I met Devon’s inquisitive gaze. “I’m getting her back. Hannah was always meant to be mine.”
I knew that with every breath I took.
I just wasn’t exactly certain how to accomplish that goal.
Trust took time, but I was starting to lose my battle for sanity when I was around Hannah.
Surprisingly, Devon didn’t look the least bit fazed by my admission.
“Glad you finally realized that,” he said as his attention went back to his burger. “When you get her back, I’ll be the first one to celebrate. You’ve been a cranky asshole for the last seven years. I’m not going to bullshit and say that you’re a ray of sunshine now, but you’re a lot happier since Hannah came back into your life. Plus, she’ll finally be my sister-in-law. Win-win.”
“I wish it was that easy,” I rumbled.
“It is easy,” he contradicted. “The feelings are still there. Just pick up where you left off, but don’t be a dick this time.”
“I’m not going to be a dick,” I informed him. “But we can’t just pick up where we left off. It’s been seven years, and neither of us are the same as we were before.”
In a more serious voice, he answered, “Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be, Tanner. You were always the most thoughtful Remington brother. You analyze things to death when it comes to Hannah.”
I shot him an annoyed look. “When you want something bad enough, you want to make sure you don’t screw it up. Hannah doesn’t completely trust me anymore.”
“Yes, she does,” Devon countered. “If she didn’t trust you, she never would have made a business deal with you. This business means a lot to her.”
I’d thought about that, and those thoughts had made me a little more hopeful. “Just because she trusted me in business doesn’t mean that she wants to be with me personally again.”
“Like I said,” he answered. “You make things way too complicated. You don’t have to be the same people you were years ago. People change over the years. The feelings just still have to be there. You and Hannah both feel the same way you did a long time ago. Seduce her and get it over with. That kind of sexual tension will make a guy insane.”
I shot him a curious look. “How would you know what it’s like to want a woman you can’t have?”
“I probably know more about getting burned than you might think,” he replied evasively.
“Are you ever going to tell me who she was?” I asked.
Devon might act like he never wanted entanglements of any kind, but all of that was bravado.
I’d always known that.
He dated, but he always managed to keep things simple and uninvolved.
Devon only dated women who wouldn’t tie him down or ask for more than he wanted to give, and I knew there was a reason for that.
There had been a woman he’d cared about at one time, but it must have been so short-lived that his family had never known what had happened.
“Nope,” Devon quipped. “And nothing really happened. You’re going to have to accept that I just don’t want the same thing that you and Kaleb do. I’m happy with my life, Tanner. I like my freedom. Just let it go.”
Kaleb and I had tried to figure out what was going on with Devon for years, and he hadn’t budged. We’d had a few theories, but I didn’t think what we assumed was actually true.
Whatever it was, there was something that had happened to Devon that we didn’t know about.
I didn’t buy that nothing had happened to change him.
In college, he’d wanted to meet someone in the future that he could share his life with.
For some reason, that had changed, and he’d become more than a little jaded about relationships and commitment.
It was a little perplexing that we’d never been able to wring the truth out of him.
For the most part, we’d always told each other everything.
Devon might act like he didn’t care about anything, but there was a heart buried under that cynicism of his.
He’d taken our father’s death just as hard as Kaleb and I had. He joked about prowling around Mom’s ranch because he wanted food, but I knew the truth.
Just like Kaleb and me, he was protective of the parent he still had.
“Fine,” I finally conceded. “But I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”
He swallowed the last of his burger before he replied, “There’s nothing to talk about. I think we need to get your love life straightened out before anyone worries about the one I’ll never have. What’s your plan with Hannah? I care about her, and I don’t want to see you mess up this second chance.”
“I won’t,” I assured him.
“What would you do if she started to date someone else?” he asked. “It’s not like she’s not free to do that right now. You’re treating her like one of your buddies, and you haven’t spoken up about exactly what you want.”
I ground my teeth and tamped down the urge to throttle my younger brother.
He was trying to get to me.
And it was working.
“That. Won’t. Happen.”
Devon shrugged. “It could. Hannah is a beautiful, talented woman. Everyone in Crytal Fork adores her now. Hell, she just did a free makeover and haircut for Lisa Thompson a few days ago because Lisa was sick for a while. I heard through the gossip channels that Lisa wants to fix Hannah up with her single brother now.”
“Not. Happening,” I growled.
Devon raised a brow. “You think not? There’s a gorgeous single woman in town, and the single guys are noticing her, Tanner. You know how things are here. The whole town wants to play matchmaker when they see a single woman that they accept as one of their own.”
“I don’t see Hannah accepting a date with Marvin Thompson,” I said tersely. “Or anyone else in this town for that matter.”
I had nothing against Marvin or any of the single guys in Crystal Fork, but Hannah was fucking mine. Any single guy in this town would have to be crazy to touch a woman who was already mine.
“What?” Devon said with irritating innocence. “Do you think everyone knows that you want Hannah? Sure, there’s speculation because everyone in Crystal Fork loves to speculate, but nobody really knows, and you two act like you’re just friends.”
The thought of some man asking her out and actually laying a hand on Hannah made my blood pressure spike.
I slammed my fist down on the table. “I’d destroy the first man who lays a hand on her,” I said in a guttural voice.
Devon sent me a satisfied grin. “Now you sound more like the older brother I know.”
“Are you trying to piss me off?” I asked gruffly.
He shook his head. “No. I’m trying to get you to shake off your fear of losing Hannah and make you realize that you can’t lose someone who’s not yours…yet. Make your move, bro, or somebody else might beat you to it. Crystal Fork might have given up on hooking us up, but they’re going to try to find a match for Hannah. And you know the matchmakers can be relentless. Hannah doesn’t have to agree to the date. The busybodies will make sure she’s in the right place at the right time to ‘run into’ whoever they’re trying to set her up with. They’ve done it a million time to both of us in the past.”
Fuck! He was right. This town had written the Remington brothers off as hopeless a long time ago, but I knew the way those matchmakers operated. I’d been manipulated into having dinner with more daughters, nieces, and friends than I could count in the past.
And Hannah was too damn nice to leave an awkward situation.
“I hear you,” I acknowledged. “I’ll warn her in case she’s forgotten how persistent the matchmakers in this town can be.”
Everyone had started to accept Hannah as one of their own, and they’d hound her until they found a ‘nice guy’ for her.
Devon nodded. “I’d definitely warn her, and make your intentions known, even if it has to be subtle for now. I know how important Hannah is to you, Tanner. Let everyone else know, especially her. You’re not going to scare her off.”
I cocked a brow. “How do you know that?”
“Hannah doesn’t scare that easily, and she feels the same way you do,” he stated simply. “I think you’re both just afraid to be the first one to admit it.”
“I’m not afraid to tell her how I feel,” I argued. “I’m just not sure she’s ready to hear it. I basically left the ball in her court, and I’m not sure where she stands right at the moment.”
“You’ll never know until you try,” Devon reminded me. “I’m not saying you have to marry her tomorrow, but put yourself out of your misery and tell her the truth. Tell her you’re losing it. This whole friendship and business partner thing is making you half crazy.”
“Is it really that obvious?” I asked reluctantly.
Devon pushed his empty plate away and picked up his water. “Probably not to everyone, but you’re my brother. I know you, and I make it my business to make sure that you’re happy. I know you’re happy having Hannah back in your life, but I know your frustration when I see it, and I hate that for you. Especially when I know it could be easily resolved. Just rip the Band-Aid off and do it, Tanner. It’s not going to get any easier. The uncertainty of this situation is killing you.”
I had to admit that my patience was getting razor thin.
It was hell being with Hannah and not touching her.
At this point, Hannah was either going to trust me…or she wouldn’t.
She’d said that she was starting to trust me in Helena.
These last few weeks had either pushed her to the point where she could trust me to start over…or not.
Being in limbo and not knowing my fate was killing me.
I nodded as Devon sent me an empathetic glance.
My younger brother might act like an insensitive asshole sometimes, but when it was really important, he dropped that persona and acted like a brother who gave a shit.
I might not always like his methods, but I couldn’t argue about how much he cared.
“I’ll return the favor someday,” I promised him.
“I’m never going to need advice on my love life because I don’t have or want one,” he said nonchalantly.
I didn’t believe that.
Some woman was going to knock Devon on his ass someday.
Devon wasn’t as cold as he wanted people to think he was.
He just buried his heart under a whole lot of bullshit.
It would take a tough female to reach the real Devon, but when she did, all hell would break lose, and I looked forward to watching that particular show when it happened.